Newbies Nest

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hello:

Today should be a quiet day for me. Definitely AF. Good luck everyone!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone!

Prayers being sent for all those birdies on the East Coast. We are all here for moral support and anything else we can do for you- please just let us know- REALLY!

Dottie and anyone else having those thoughts of drinking over the Thanksgiving Holidays- Don't make Byrdie pull out the Rabbit Hole story again!!!

Seriously, guys! I have been down the sinkhole (aka rabbit hole) so many times that it scares me to death to think about visiting it again. The last time it took me almost 41/2 years to get out of it. IT IS NOT WORTH IT, speaking for myself!!!

Of course, we all need to make our own decisions about our drinking habits and I will be the first to admit that sometimes my mind says one thing and my body does another, but I'll be damned if I am going to let ALCOHOL get a grip on me this holiday season.
What makes this holiday season different for me? Well, I have you all to keep me accountable; I have the toolbox, the advice of the "oldbies" and the shining example of the newbies to show me how it's done. And- I have more confidence in myself because I have chosen to be accountable to you all, use the tools and have gotten a few wonderful Alcohol-free weeks under my belt.

If you begin romanticizing thoughts of drinking (as is easy to do at this time of year) or letting the stress of the season get to you (even easier)- Please JUST THINK ABOUT IT first. Do you really want to risk starting all over again??? Some people find that "fast forwarding" their thinking to the next day, and realizing the downside of the drinking (such as a hangover, loss of memory, guilt, shame, remorse and embarrassment from your actions is a useful tool to get you back in the right frame of mind (Thanks K9 and Lolab) and others have advised just focusing on the positives in your life due to abstinence.

Either way or ANY way that you can get through the urge, just at least try to get through it. K9 also says that an urge never lasts as long as a hangover.

Well sorry for the long post, and hope not to offend anyone, but this is a tough time for many of us and I want to do everything I can to get through it Alcohol-free and am willing to help others who want to do the same!

:hStar

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

star:

Lol! I was just joking about the AL business. Please don't type out the word alcohol for my sake. That word is way too long! . Lets continue to kick my butt, I mean AL's butt!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

That was a beautiful and inspiring post - star....no need to apologize - we should be thanking YOU!!:h

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lolab.

And Haha, AL. But really, I see lots of different shortcuts for your name: There's Al, Alco, Alkie, Alley, etc. do you have a preference?

Names are important!

xoxo, Star

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1407840 wrote: Thanks lolab.

And Haha, AL. But really, I see lots of different shortcuts for your name: There's Al, Alco, Alkie, Alley, etc. do you have a preference?

Names are important!

xoxo, Star

Ally is my favorite, more feminine... .

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks star!!!!!!!!! great post!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Ally it is then (that's my fav too)

And Dottie- you and I are going to get thru this together :l

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys,

I had an experience with my soon to be 13 year old daughter last night that I just have to share as it's yet another great reason for us not to drink to stupidity, or drink at all. Like most parents with kids right now, the electronic age has presented quite a few challenges that we were never trained to deal with (and I'm a software engineer by trade). Anyway, we've had to firmly set up all kinds of boundaries and rules around social networking at our house or my girl would be online 24-7.

Lately she's been constantly asking me for my iPhone to help with her Spanish homework - I have a translator app...doesn't everyone these days? Well, she got royally busted recently for sneaking onto her social networks and posting all these pictures of herself to the world. So, again we re-established the rules and expectations for her use of technology around the house.

Now we're getting to the point -- when I was drinking my IPAs every night, she took full advantage of the fact that I was "checked out" and would end up hanging onto my iPhone for hours longer than it took her to do her homework. Did I care? Not really as I just wanted to be left along for awhile. Fast forward to last night where I'm completely sober, as I have been every single weeknight for the past six weeks. I catch her with my iPhone. I call her on it. Now get this! She says, "Dad, you said I could use it. Don't you remember?" Well in fact I DO remember NOT saying you could use it. I'm perfectly clear on this. I think she was a little shocked.

Now here's the point -- She was clearly playing me as she probably did dozens of times when I was all spaced out on IPA. If she'd said I gave her permission, I would have believed her because it was entirely possible that she did ask and in my tweaked state, forgot. That's obviously one of the great losses when we're drinking -- we can't remember shit from the night before. Hell, I often couldn't even remember what T.V. show I watched before finally heading off to bed let alone any little detail about my phone!

Here's the final point / lesson: Sobriety == clarity == accountability == better parenting and I mean big time. How awful for my daughter to have grown up in our house all the way through high school with a Dad she knew she could deceive because he was such an idiot. So, that's the story. Hope someone can relate.

Be good,
-Fin

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Dottie,
Just stay close to the nest over the holiday season, you'll be OK

Fin, My kids did have my full attention while they were growing up. My drinking career started later on in my life. But now that I spend so much time watching grandkids I am grateful to be alert & fully present for them - wouldn't want it any other way

Greetings the newly re-named Ally, Star, Lola & everyone!

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Well I know everyone has been waiting for Stella's Day 7 pic. Well here it is!

Yay Stella we made it to Day 7. So far so good. Tonight my husband and I are going somewhere that is totally booze related so it will be a good opportunity for me to put some of my new tools into play! Attached files [img]/converted_files/1978805=7121-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Fin- Thanks for posting that. Not only can I relate, I have been there- with FOUR teenage daughters!!! How I wish I had stopped drinking the first time I realized they were taking advantage of my stupidity. It would have saved me (and them) years of heartache. You can never get back what you have lost with your kids. Please, parents- pay attention to this and stop while you're ahead!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations, Nanette and (Stella-the flower).



:goodjob: on 7 Days


:h Star

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1407870 wrote: Fin- Thanks for posting that. Not only can I relate, I have been there- with FOUR teenage daughters!!!

Four daughters?!! Holy shit. Just having a couple of her friends over freaks me out. It was all boys when I was growing up -- 3 bros. My mom said she liked it that way. Ha!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

You are doing great, Fin! Just keep up the good work!