Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys. Running out but just have to say .., allan you sound above awesome and you are such an inspiration to all of us- thank you!
Dottie. If I could, I'd come up there and whoop that womans butt myself. I am so sorry you are going thru all that but like Byrdie said- alcohol will not make any of it any better. You are stronger than that. What goes around comes around and she will get what's coming to her.
Fin- you're on! We are here to help you go another 30 days and we will gladly take any help and advice you have for us too
Now I know I am forgetting something I wanted to say to someone but got to run.
Have a safe night all!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Fin ..... The thing that defines human beings is our need to learn things for ourselves. Tis both bad and good but for free thinkers it seems to be neccessary. Even 'normal' people seem to live from drink to drink, I hear people saying they can't wait for the weekend when they really mean they can't wait for the next drink.
Without alcohol my life has become NOW, not yesterday, later today or tomorrow. I would not swap that for drinking moderately even if I could. There is NOTHING I can do drinking that I can't do sober but the list of things I can't do drunk is ENORMOUS.

Slay......you WILL overcome everything that is obstructing your path ATM. The final pieces of the jigsaw will fall into place. :l

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Bennii we did it! Seven Days! I even went out last night. I didn't drink and I had fun.

However the real test is coming. My husband went back to work today (he is home 4 days and away 8 days). I hope that when I am alone and AL says, "Who would know?", I will say I WILL!". So don't even go there Al!

Day 8 YAY!

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Almost free - I really liked your post about how some people with different issues can't have certain things eg. Diabetes, Alergies etc. I really believe I am allergic to alcohol. When I drink it I get dizzy, loud, funnier?, slur my words and sometimes I even throw up! Sounds like an allergy to me.

Patrick - 100 days? Close? I forget but wow! Good for you.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Nanette;1408762 wrote: Almost free - I really liked your post about how some people with different issues can't have certain things eg. Diabetes, Alergies etc. I really believe I am allergic to alcohol. When I drink it I get dizzy, loud, funnier?, slur my words and sometimes I even throw up! Sounds like an allergy to me.

Patrick - 100 days? Close? I forget but wow! Good for you.

You should get joan Larsen's book and find out what sort of drinker you are and then get supplements to match

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Kuya - thank you I will look into that.

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

kuya-book ordered. It was on amazon for .01 plus shipping. $6.95. Thanks.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Nanette;1408787 wrote: kuya-book ordered. It was on amazon for .01 plus shipping. $6.95. Thanks.

Cool, tis a very well written book and their supplements are extensive and very good quality.

Supplements have made my quit easy and basically saved my life.

Best of luck Nanette, let us know what you think of the book etc

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Howdy Nesters,

Things look pretty nice around here

Dottie, please don't allow that person to throw you off course. She sounds like a total loser & you don't really want her to mess up your progress. Any chance of moving on to another job/position?
Just hang out with us this weekend & take in the collective strength!

Good for you Allan! Glad your first week was so positive for you.

Nanette & Bennii celebrating with full moons ~ awesome!

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a safe & cozy AF night in the Nest!
Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Lav no chance i hell..she has killed any chance of moving on..I am doomed...
drat
dottie

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hey all - wanted to drop in the nest and say hello. Looks like everyone is doing great. Congratulations!

Dottie - I wanted to say how sorry I am about your boss. That's awful. I'm really sorry. :l

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys,

Late on Friday night, and snuggled in for bed. I absolutely love bed time since going AF. I can read books and remember what I read! And it goes without saying the bedtime ritual with my son (which stretches to an hour) is becoming my favorite part of the day. Now I just a man to come to bed with! I'm working on that. Have my first date in 10 months next week.

Allan, congratulations on feeling so strong and your successes. What strikes me most about you is that you dwell on the positives, not the losses. That is a great way to lead others toward an AF life.

Dottie, I can totally and sadly relate. I was fighting with myself in a meeting yesterday not to walk out on the meeting and resign then and there. Actually came close to writing the email today. The feeling is intolerable, and without the AL to numb it, I am acutely aware of it. I can only commiserate, but offer my sympathy.

Fin, miss you greatly. I remember reading a long time ago (and I don't remember where) the recollections of a former drinker. He spoke about moderating successfully for a few months, but described it as such an exhausting struggle that he decided it wasn't worth it. At the time, I could not understand. I do now.

Drumroll. Tonight, 39 nights since I went AF, I finally did not crave AL in the evening. JEEBUS CHRISTO, I was seriously pissed at still having such strong cravings. So my first night of feeling at peace; feeling no anxiety when I thought, just cranberry juice. PEACE. wow. PEACE. wow.

Oldies, you guys said this feeling would come. I thought there must be something wrong with me. I'm feeling better now. And I expect I'll be in for more crap soon, perhaps even tomorrow night, but tonight was a gift.

Newbies, stay strong even when you don't feel it. It gets better. Fake it till you feel it.

Cat

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Dottie-Something to consider.....Document everything that has been happening. Make sure to include Dates, time and people involved. Another thing that I tell myself when dealing with people is that I don't know what has brought this person to this moment in her life. Chances are it is not even about you. What is her home life like? What was her childhood like etc. I am not making excuses but sometimes it helps to look at things this way.

The other thing that I have taught my daughter that has helped her is.....Take a step back, go over the situation and see what your part was in the situation. Documenting may help with this too. Is there something that could be done differently on your part? Not saying that she isn't a bitch. She probably is. Another line that has saved me more than once is.....I can not control other peoples actions, I can only control my reactions.

Well enough advice from an old broad for today. I hope that you will find one of these ideas helpful. If not that is ok too. I would just like you to have a better day. :rays::rays:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Dottie ...... Is there any chance of having this out with her in an open way? Telling her how you honestly feel and how upset you are. The funny thing about relationships is if you own your vulnerability it forces the other person to care.
Most people are not monsters and even if they are not nice they cannot ignore what you have told them. They are forced to behave differently because YOU have behaved differently.

Cat...... It heartens me to hear you are over the cravings ...... It is never as bad again. Your brain and I mean the primitive brain has accepted NO means NO! Dick head is your spoilt child that has ALWAYS got his way, the easier he got it the longer the tantrums. The more frequently you give in (slip) the harder it is to get back to AF ( ask anyone who falls off the wagon repeatedly) and like a child he will occassionally attempt again when he sees you are in a weak moment.

In the last weeks I have had flashes of 'craving ' and I LITERALLY say in my head 'oh no you don't !' like telling a small child to quit whining. As time goes on that 'child' stops whining quicker and quicker.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sunshine & warming up a bit around here today - yay!

Dottie, it's true that we can't change other people but we can change our thinking!
Believe me, when my husband of 37 years ran out of here 2 1/2 years ago (quite unexpectedly) I had to change my thinking BIG TIME! I could have fallen back into a bottle of wine for comfort but I didn't - I wasn't even tempted because I was done with that. I dove into a reading marathon, started meditating & learned new coping strategies.......thank goodness. We all have a choice each morning to be happy or not. My husband & your boss choose to be chronically unhappy...their choice.

Catbuddy, glad you have found some peace. That's success in my book

Greetings Kuya, Nanette & everyone. Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!
Lav