Newbies Nest

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hi, everyone:

Dreary Saturday morning. Gotta get myself to work again.

Dottie: so sorry about your boss. Difficult to work w a nasty boss, that's for sure. You said you are there mainly for the benefits anyway. Just milk them for the benefits and do the best your can and try to forget their silliness until you retire....

Hope everyone have a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan, it is amazing to me that I had a few words to say to you after your note and then when I stepped on board to post, I left it off . (So much for being sharp) But please let me take this opportunity to say how happy I am for you...It is eye opening to see the difference in people when they first come in here, to the milestones like you and Kuya, Star. Dottie and Cat are racking up. It's not just a difference in mood (altho that is astonishing in itself) it is a diffence in one's whole outlook on life....how precious it is. I am so proud of your accomplishments and like everyone else said, your positive attitude is contagious. Thank you for continuting to post here...I'm sure the newbie's get tired of my same old song and dance. Well done to you, Kuya, Starfish, Dot's Bell, Free and Cat for laying it down for real! It IS hard work, but it is SO worth it! Here's a toast to our Sr. Newbies!!! B

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys,

Cold morning here, too.

My joy in AF weekends - I now get to make plans that I know I can keep. So, I'm going to buy firewood this weekend! We have a great fireplace that makes this weather more tolerable. Small little gifts to myself.

Kuya, your explanations of this process are so helpful to me. My spoiled AL brain took 39 days to give me any peace because it was SO use to making the decisions, and without any real fight at the end from my sober brain.

Fin, Kuya's explanations are more than an analogy for me. This is really and truly what I feel happening. At times, I have wondered where Cat went, when my thoughts were bargaining, throwing tantrums, feeling angry and depressed over the absence of the wine. Really, with two brains at work, AL is dominating at that time, and Cat is gone. This explains to me why its taking so long to get any peace. And also, perhaps, why AB is easier than moderation. Maybe when you are moderating, the AL brain still has a forum, and can push you toward more drinking because there is a negotiation going on. I think I'm starving AL brain to death. If I was moderating, AL brain would be fed, and causing me constant thoughts about when and how much I would drink next. And if I had said just on weekends, AL brain would be saying, yes, but you had a massively awful day at work on Thursday, and really wine is the only response. I'm guessing I would have said yes. And woke up on Friday with regret and despair.

I'm sure I'm not saying anything new. I'm just sharing my thoughts on why, in the end, AB may be easier mentally than moderation.

Hope everyone has a wonderful AF Saturday.

Cat

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Well, DAY 9. I have woken up with a splitting headache again. I know this will pass. I had a funny thought go through my head......

At least when I was drinking I had fun and felt good before I woke up with a headache. Well Al brain, this is my response :youwish::lalala:...If drinking was so fun and felt so good, then why would so many people be trying to quit?

Feel good??????? What? Guilt, shame, embarrassed, sick, irritable, dizzy, paranoid, sad, mad...... Good???????? Maybe not.

I look back at my life and I was having fun and making people laugh even in the situations were Al wasn't involved. I have figured out that I am funny and fun without Al. That was just an excuse that Al brain had me believe.

I find that a hot cup of herbal tea makes me feel warm inside just like wine did. I think about the tea and coffee comercials instead of the Al comercials. Picture that person with their feet up on the couch, a blanket over their lap and holding their mug with two hands, eyes closed taking that sip of hot tea, decaf coffee or hot apple cider. Ahhhhhh! warming all the way down. Ok I also have to admit my guilty pleasure, ICE CREAM. It doesn't warm me but sure makes me happy!

Well that is the thought I had today. I have been accused of being a "little wordy". I think they might be right. :nutso: ( I have also decided I love smileys)

Day 9 is going to be fine. What? I am a poet too. WOW :shocked:

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Didn't sleep well but here I am....off to lunch and some errands....going to a USO dance tonight..fund raiser for USO I am dressing in a poodle skirt and dh is going as a nerd....not so out of character for him.....
Thanks for the support last night..you all are the best!!!!
Dottie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the notes, folks. Okay, you've got me. I'm officially back in this with you all at 100% committed. I'm intentionally starting on Sat so that Fridays will be the mark of full week AF. I figure it'll be good for me going into the weekends with a win worth protecting, etc. Now, I have two IPAs sitting in my fridge. What to do...

I'm back. Two IPAs just went down the drain. I don't think I've ever done that. They were perfectly chilled and ready to drink. I have my little fridge set a degree above my IPA's freezing point so they're as cold as they can get. Now the fridge sits empty and is unplugged. Next, get rid of the thing.

Thanks again for reeling me back in.

Be good,
Fin

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

YAY Fin!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Yay too Fin, you won't regret it.

Nanette, your last post made me chuckle ' so why is everyone trying to quit!' so funny :H

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I triple that, Fin. What you did was hard, pouring out AL is surprisingly empowering. I got to the point I threw up my hands and said, "ALL RIGHT, you win". And I have not looked back since. Like Cat said, there in peace in my mind now...I have accepted it. Well done to you....We are 100% beside you. B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

:wd: awesome Fin. We've all got to figure things out for ourselves - that's for sure - you're a strong person.

Dottie, that cracked me up about your hubs...

and nanette, I don't doubt it a bit....you ARE funny...and sober - I know I'd love to hang around with you...:l

Great post cat....sometimes the words coming from one who is in the middle of it, can mean so much more than those of someone who was ONCE there.....

See ya!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

So proud of you, Fin!!! That was super hard to pour em out, I know. But like k9 says, they would have ended up down the drain one way or another. You just saved your liver the job of processing them. Your liver thanks you!!
Wow, the nest sure is full of wisdom today. I think we must be a bunch of baby owls!
Cat and kuya thanks for your thoughts on the warring brains. I agree with cat. AB is so much better and much more peaceful. Dottie- hope you and your nerd have a wonderful time at the dance!
Hi lav, Lola and Byrdie-
I'm off to work some more!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

I wonder if any of you keep a journal as you journey through your AF time or life transformation processes? I'm continuing to purge toxic people, things and thoughts out of my life. This is not an easy process and the breakdowns are hell, but necessary to move forward. I picked up my journal from my last AF go around today and how enlightening I found it is to read back through my thoughts. You may be surprised how much wisdom you actually have to tell yourself when you are doubting your current decisions for change in your life or with AL. We have two brains working against us on several fronts when we face making changes. It helps to review why you have made those decisions. It can lend you strength in times of weakness so you don't step backward and fall back in your hole.

Just some food for thought.


I'm not posting on the roll call as I've decided this time for me days don't count, but the decision to stay AF for life. I'll mark down the last day I ever took a drink, but not the days. Working my thought process a bit different in that I just am not a drinker, period. I don't need poison ever! I need to straighten out my life, take care of myself and understand that alcohol is never the answer to any situation. It was effective to count days the first time around, but I think this time, there is no wiggle room. It's a final farewell.

Let my friend courage be my go to buddy. I'm biting off a lot to chew at one time.

Congrats to all who are fighting and winning this battle. If it was easy, we wouldn't need this place.:l

Love,

Slay

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Today did not go as planned at all...ER called and my dad fell near his house and the EMT's took him to the hospital...dad had dementia and he was super confused...so we spend all day at the hospital..had to go find his car which he could not remember where he left it.....so no darn dance tonight....had been looking forward to getting out all week....they kept him for observation and they called and he is really confused....this may be my opportunity to get him into assisted living...not sure but this was a bad day all the way around....
Dottie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dottie B, when it rains, it pours. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will keep you close in my thoughts. Thank you for keeping us posted and we will anxiously await further news. Strength to you....B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Very happy for you Fin
Pouring out the last of the AL is something I did & left me with a lasting impression. How about filling up that fridge with juice boxes for the kids?

Dottie, sorry to hear about your Dad.
I had a whole career in nursing & took care of my parents & a few other relatives along the way. The one thing I can tell you for sure about dementia is it's never gets better. It doesn't sound like your Dad would be safe in an assisted living facility, even now. Please be sure to talk to the social services dept at the hospital. They will help you find appropriate placement for your Dad. Hang in there, we're here for you:l

Byrdie is baking today ~ I happen to know that