Newbies Nest

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

almost free;1409648 wrote: To be honest, I've let it pass so many times today, but due to circumstances going on, particularly today, it just won't let go. Unfortunately, it's a situation that seems to have no answer or resolution within my power and I'm feeling pretty hopeless that it can end any way but badly. It's hard to elaborate here, but it's a situation that involves my youngest (adult) son, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It's just a never ending nightmare. So many months of painstaking progress, only to see it all coming apart.

Yes Almost Free: This situation with my son as well is what is deraiing me these days....His disablity is not as severe as your son's but I understand the day to day to day to day work...and the the unraveling...sometimes sudden (like last night for me) sometimes over a few days... And I have gone from concern to upset to angry to absolute rage...and now i'm just...tired as Kuya says.

No Byrdie my sweet I have no plans to moderate. I've had some slips but I have every intention of a full blown AF life. My Plan? All I know for certain is I must avoid these emotional extremes: These are what are killing me. And now the Holiday???:upset:
I guess my fantasy plan is to kick everyone out of the house, lock the doors and stay on MWO for 365 days lieing in bed drinking hot tea and munching my stir fry brocolli...
Barring that, I must find a way to stay on the middle path... My Ipad should be here soon. That will help...Mobile MWO,

Hugs and hearts
:l:h

[dstro]

Newbies Nest

hi people, been advised to come in here have a chat. well I'm on day 1 again, had a bad wkend. feel light crap, let myself and family down.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

dstro;1409781 wrote: hi people, been advised to come in here have a chat. well I'm on day 1 again, had a bad wkend. feel light crap, let myself and family down.

Well you found the nest. Have a read back a little, so you can know a little about the people on the thread at the moment.

What are your plans if any?

[Bennii]

Newbies Nest

Morning all

Well day 8 was my downfall. Nothing bad happened I was just weak and I drank. I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since. I was too ashamed to come back on here yesterday. Coming back today and seeing how much so many of you have going on in your lives makes me feel even weaker. But I’m back and I’m going to try harder.

I’m obviously not in a position to give advice to any of you going through tough times. But when I am away from the site I think of you often and hope your days are full of strength.

Here goes Day 2.
Bx

[dstro]

Newbies Nest

haven't got a plan. just know this can't carry on the way it's going. but as u said I do know it's the drink causing the stress, so I need to give up for good. are u af?

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Bennii, eight days is awesome! You didn't fail ....... You learned.

You are back on the horse.......don't beat yourself up.......nobody learns to ice skate in an afternoon

And always remember.......if it was easy ....we wouldn't need a bloody website! :H:H

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

dstro;1409800 wrote: haven't got a plan. just know this can't carry on the way it's going. but as u said I do know it's the drink causing the stress, so I need to give up for good. are u af?

Yep AF for 73 days and plan to stay that way......it is awesome mate!

23 years of drinking my life away......dammit for not trying earlier.

The first days are hard but it gets easier I promise. Everyone has their own problems and makes their own way and here everyone is accepted and not judged.

[dstro]

Newbies Nest

hi b , day 8 wow thats really good, ur not weak to get that far.

[dstro]

Newbies Nest

73 days wow that's awesome. thats what I want don't want my kids growing up knowing their dad's a drunk. I lasted 5 days a couple of wks ago so got to build on that.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Bennii the important thing is that you are BACK....I don't know if anybody gets this right the first time...look back and see what it was that contributed to your decision to drink. Change your plan....If you don't give it a little thought and make some changes, you run the risk of doing the same thing again. No doubt, you learned something somewhere in that experience. There's no shame in LEARNING! :l

Sorry I was absent - it was a busy weekend....I put up Christmas decorations outside (cuz Byrdie- that's what we do in the NORTH when we get a 70 degree day in November!:H) but don't worry, I won't light them til after Thanksgiving.

I'm so sorry for all the difficulties that are being experienced by so many right now. I just do know that drinking won't help....having lost both of my parents - and drinking to get through one....and then drinking through YEARS of difficulties with my mom - but then being sober when she passed....I can say that I handled things the way we are SUPPOSED to handle things. It was very difficult, but I didn't just bury things under a rug of alcohol...

And I"ll add that the difficulties with my mother were often used by me - as an excuse to drink. I would get sucked into those tense situations almost eagerly - so that I could feel justified in drinking.

My heart goes out to all- and stick close so that we can help you get through the tough times without drinking....it won't take long (but it DOES take a little time!) for you to see that things are handled so much more easily without it in the picture. Things don't look so bleak.

Kradle - I'm sorry - Byrdie beckoned me yesterday and I wasn't listening....but you've probably heard it from me before...I really do believe that this "journey" is just a series of "phases"....in a drawing, it would look like a straight line across followed by slight dip then a rise....then back to a straight line, a dip, then a rise....it's a steady improvement in EVERYTHING....but it's not without our backwards slides....and I think those backwards slides aren't "slips" - they are periods of feeling like we can't do it....feeling blue....feeling flat....thinking "is this really worth it?"......but every single time I've had that "dip" - I have figured out that after I ride it out - it's replaced by a period of growth.....kind of like a breakthrough....I'd think that I was obsessed by thoughts of alcohol - only to enter the next phase - to find that I thought of it even less than I had in the "good" phase before....I struggle to describe this - but everybody, don't let those "dips" those periods of feeling down and like you don't even "care" about being alcohol free - don't let them trip you up. Just accept them for what they are - alcohol trying to wedge his foot in the door - again - before you close it for good. :l

Love,
lola

[Bennii]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Kuya & dstro. I did learn something. I want to stay off. I didn’t enjoy doing it and I certainly didn’t enjoy how I felt after. A stupid reminder to myself.

Please do try and stick with it dstro, it feels so good not to drink. I hadn’t felt so calm in a long time. My aim is to spend this week getting that feeling back. Hope you’ll join me. Bx

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

hi dstro - have a visit to the toolbox if you haven't already https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

This thread is linked to in the toolbox, I think but I'll post the separate link here - it explains how you form a plan...a solid plan is needed to do this..https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

dstro;1409856 wrote: 73 days wow that's awesome. thats what I want don't want my kids growing up knowing their dad's a drunk. I lasted 5 days a couple of wks ago so got to build on that.

It all hinges on getting your mind right D. You did 5 days, they are the worst days according to most people including me. They are detox days and you feel like shite. Then you feel a bit better and the addicted part of your brain doesn't know what to do except drink.

To succeed easily you have to get your head around the fact that you are NOT GIVING ANYTHING UP.

You are QUITTING POISONING YOURSELF.

Master this idea and the rest will fall into place.

Did you drink alcohol as a child? No, you learnt to drink it. You can also UNLEARN drinking it.

Does this make sense?

[Bennii]

Newbies Nest

Wise words, thanks Lola. Bx

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, I love this phase you used:

If it were easy... we wouldn't need a bloodywebsite!

~n