Newbies Nest

[sooty]

Newbies Nest

hey derek kazuti and nora so glad you've found your way to our nest. Can you try just to get one alcohol free day under your belt? give yourselves a little distance and see how you feel. My guess is that you'll feel a whole lot better emotionally and physically. Then you can decide what you want to do - cut down or cut it out.
For me the best answer is cutting it out cos I'm crap at cutting down - I just can't do it and I know how much better I feel in all ways when I give it up so that would be my advice.
We are all trying to be sober here in the nest - and lots of us are having little (and large) struggles but we are all trying to support each other on our sober ride.
Thats why you'll hear talk about the sober bus etc. so jump on and join us. I'm dishing out tickets and they're free
Look forward to hearing more from you
love sooty

[kazuti]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Sooty. And Derek I am also 53. I can go for a couple of days AF but that is about it. I love wine. I love how it tastes and how it makes me feel for the first two glasses. After that............... I think I just have to rearrange my life so my drinking habit will have to change. Any suggestions???????????

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nest check!

I had a feeling it was going to be a busy nest today, that's great

NoraC, so glad you're back and ready to roll. Just hop on Sooty's Sober Bus, plenty of room as always!

kazuti & Derek, plenty of 50's something year olds here
I think it does make a bit of a difference. At this point I think we have been there & done it all and we know this IS the right thing to do for ourselves and families. There really isn't a whole lot more time to waste, is there?
Derek, read the MWO book, make a good plan for yourself and just do it! And if you fail, just keep trying, that's what we've all done. Get 1 day under your belt, then another, then another. We're happy to have you with us on this journey.

Have a good afternoon all.
Lav

[warrior22]

Newbies Nest

Starting Today

I poured out all the liquor, and I'm going to do my first AF day in 5 years. Wish me luck! I'm scared. When I've sort-of tried to not drink for a day before, I'd get to about 10 p.m. and end up running out to get something. This time I"m for real! I got the librium from the Dr in case I have withdrawal, but I"m not so worried about that after hearing from some of you about your experiences. I'll take the librium for a day or two if I get shaky or anxious, but I hope I won't need it. It's there mostly to give me courage to try, I think!

I'm scared. Why? I'm afraid I'll never be able to fall asleep. I'm more scared that I'll find myself bored out of my mind, wandering about the house aimlessly, wondering what to do, and wanting desperately to pour some vodka. Wanting it so much I'll go get some, no matter how disappointed I am in myself for doing so.

For ages my evenings have revolved around my vodka habit. I start with wine at dinner with hubby most nights. Then he stops drinking, and I switch to vodka (he knows I drink some, but he has no idea how much!!! I keep it well hidden). He goes to bed at 10 p.m., and I stay up drinking until midnight. I ENJOY my evening drinking time. I relax, and it makes everything else I'm doing more enjoyable. Early in the evening it might be watching TV, washing dishes, preparing for the class I teach, or helping my kids with homework. I chat with my kids (why are my teenagers and my husband more interesting and talkative when I'm drinking??). Later in the evening, when I"m in no condition to help with homework or prepare for my own classes, or have a coherent conversation, I drink while reading a book or surfing the internet. Of course, I can't recall the next day what I read! When I can hardly keep my eyes open, I fall into bed and sleep. My main evening activity is drinking; the rest is just window dressing or a backdrop.

So when I don't drink, I suppose I can do all those things. But somehow they don't sound nearly as interesting without the vodka. In fact, a lot of it sounds like drudgery. So although I know I have to quit drinking, and I want to quit, I'm afraid I'm going to be miserable. I'm afraid I"ll discover that I"m even more boring and pathetic than I realized.

So any suggestions?? I know I'm supposed to find something to fill the evening time--exercises, new class, etc. But honestly, none of those sound as much fun as vodka! And they require more work on my part. I don't know if I"ll have the energy/will power.

But gosh darn it, I won't KNOW if I'll be miserable and can't sleep unless I try it! So tonight I'll try it . . . . . Please tell me the first night is the hardest, and then you feel so good, it becomes easy!! Please, oh, please tell me that!! Because if it doesn't get easier, how could I possibly keep it up?? I'm not feeling very confident about this at the moment. In fact, as I said earlier, I'm quite scared!

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Greetings, fluffy ones and welcome to Kazuti, Derek, and Warrior! Nice to have you here... make yourselves comfy and stick around for a bit!

Warrior, go have a peek at the Toolbox Thread - lots of great ideas and suggestions to fill time and get over the 'witching hour'.

Well, I'm back home (Mr. Wonderful's place, that is) - and I realized it actually felt like coming 'home'. So, while there may still be a few tears shed before selling my property is over and done with... I am indeed coming to terms. Yesterday was almost fun, actually. Just like old times. Me, and my weed whacker on a power date! :H But, with every square foot I uncovered, I felt a little bit of that pride and joy return. So, all in all.. a better day.

Still no news on Mom and can't get a hold of my dad. REALLY hoping to hear from him tonight.

Ohhhhhhh.. OMG.. don't I feel like a complete heel! :upset: Somehow, my son's kitten got out when we left last Friday... I had HUGE bowls of food and water for her here, and had made sure her kitty box was clean... and that poor little thing has been 'living on the streets' for 6 days! Thankfully, the friend who came to feed my horse, also brought along a couple of cans of tuna.. but still....

Anyways... much work to catch up on here... may check in again later... hope all you 'regulars' are having a peachy day!

[warrior22]

Newbies Nest

Thank You, Sunshine!

Sunshine,
Thanks for the link to the toolbox thread. I'm going to be looking that over frequently over the next few days. It cheered me up a lot--made me realize that many people before me have gone through this and succeeded, and found ways to deal with the very things that I"m scared of. Thank you!!!

[openheart]

Newbies Nest

Dear Nest Buddies,

I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not take a drink today. Last couple days were relatively trigger free, but I let something small get to me and I thought immediately of wanting my wine soother. It was weird to follow that thought with a "not today--I want it to be different--I don't want to lose what I've gained." I kinda felt like I was out there swinging on a rope swing with no place to land.

So I came straight home from work thinking of touching base with the nest to stay strong. It's helping already. Day 3 AF.

Warrior--I have been very scared, too. And like you, hadn't even been sure I could change or even wanted to. But I was numbing myself to life, basically handicapping myself by drinking in physical, emotional and intellectual ways. Like you, all I could think of was what al did for me, instead of all it was taking away.

But you have come to the best place for understanding, encouragement and support. Yay for you! It sounds as though you are still processing this decision, but we all know (because we've been there) that you know in your heart you need to make some changes. Just step out there--we will catch you if you fall. You are not alone is this fight, warrior (excellent name!).

I see wonderful sunshine gave you a link to the helpful toolbox thread--here is a link to the swimming pool analogy which totally spoke to my heart and helped me with the scary decision: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...pool-7887.html

Stick with us and keep posting!

Chicken--loved the description of your day--sounds very full of family and love and activity.
TranqW--if you aren't keen on TranqWillatude--how's about TranqWillful? Full of WILL!!
NoraC--glad to see you back!
Welcome Kazuti and Derek--snuggle in you're in good company!
Sooty--send me over a ticket I want a ride on your bus!

Thanks for listening. Lovebeats sent your way.:h

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Hi The Nest!
Just a quick fly-by to say.....'Chook-itude' just don't cut it for me *shudder* sounds like something you find on the ground in the pen!!!!
Tranq...atleast your name doesn't sound like something none of us want to touch!!LMAO
Chicken *cluck cluck*

[Guest]

Newbies Nest

Warrior 22,
I know exactly what you are saying. That release from tension and stress. I think if I could have stayed at that point, I probably would have never thought of quitting. I was a workaholic drinking at times. I unfortunately starting going into complete depression.
I've tried to be such a submissive person, just do, do, do for everyone. (Guilt) The resentment for no one doing for me would come up. But always the first few drinks had me trapped, I would always plan to quit there. I could not.
I wish you well. It is a hard journey, but the rewards can't be measured.I am again starting over. I cannot live this way.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Time to call it a day!
Sunni, glad to see you're back 'home'. Sorry about the kitten, any sign of him yet? I'm a total dog person, I don't understand cat behavior....

openheart, 3 days AF, good for you. Stay strong my friend!

warrior, welcome! You can do this, we are here to help, promise!

Chicken - stick with chick-ittude - sounds 'safer'.

Saving Grace, let's try it again. Brush yourself off and get started again, we're with you all the way!

Wishing everyone a good, safe night in the nest, see you all in the AM.
Lav

[Muddle]

Newbies Nest

I'm back after a long absence. Modding was going well until this depression hit me like a ton of bricks last week. I can't believe how fast it went from moderate to out of control with a bottle of wine a night. After the first glass, I can't stop. This is not ok. I hate the wondering about what stupid things I've said or done.

Today is Day One and the first of many.

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Openheart -You're rockin' on day-3. Keep going.

Sunni, power dating with the weed whacker sounds like you're making real progress!

And yes, Chick-ittude is safer. How 'bout T-dub-ittude for me (like TW)? That's enough silliness. (for now)

Hey Warrior, you wrote: "But honestly, none of those sound as much fun as vodka! And they require more work on my part."

That question - it had me stuck for two years until I found this site. What replaces al? What am I gonna do without it. What replaces that feeling? Search the 'net high and low and you won't find real answers. I've read books trying to understand. But we've become accustomed to the convenience that al provides -- feeling good in a neat little package. Trouble is, al doesn't make anything better - it makes things tolerable for a while, but then they're still there - still the same and you just lose another day to al. You'll see that when you're af everything becomes different because you have choices. Today you don't have many choices. One choice is hard, but once you commit it becomes easier every day. And if you can keep the commitment, you'll soon see how much lighter and different life feels.

By the way, don't take the advice from Ms. Jewell lightly. The supplements, hypnotic cds and her program really dohelp with cravings, etc. Good luck.

G'nite all.

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Sweet!

Hello the Wonderful Nest!

I can honestly say that this 'nest' is what has replaced the spaces that alcohol has left! By that I mean, as Nora has said, that I look forward to coming home now,even after a hard day and instead of drowning in a bottle, I go swimming here instead!!

I want to jump in here every day,sometimes quite often, as it is my 'feel good' tonic to replace the alcohol! So maybe it has become another 'crutch' or additction, but I think it is okay for me to have something to help me. I found after having my girls and then PND and then drinking that I've actually forgotten all the things I used to do and love!

When I am feeling that aimlessness coming on I usually find myself here posting or just reading and my vibes pick up immediately! I'm laughing more now, I've discovered that I actually have a sense of humour! I'm looking outward and making plans.......

I'm reading more,I'm getting more done around the house, I'm exercising,I'm eating healthier; I'm playing with the kids more;I'm even knitting a bit of an evening when watching TV to stop the dreaded 'wandering' I seem to do in the evenings when I don't know what to do with myself.....(usually cleaning up after the kids),actually teaching myself how to wind down with methods other than bourbon & coke!

Amazingly I'm finding that with a few days under my belt...my mind runs the other way from the idea of buying a drink...fear of starting again..of going down that slippery slope is all to strong a motivator right now to give in! Even having one glass makes me afraid!!I don't want to loose what I've found again...I don't want to loose me again!!!:l

Why did I ever think that 'I' would live in the bottom of a bottle? What a sad little genie I had become to stuff myself in such a tiny,toxic place and actually think that it was enjoyable!!!

I'm loving my life now and it's all thanks to the good people here...and for that I am eternally grateful!
One thing I'm doing lately as I go to sleep is, I list two positive things I have achieved in the day and then I list three blessings or three things I am grateful for in that day..It can be as simple as not having a drink...or sharing a hug with my girl's....or hearing a great song etc etc.
Life is Sweet here
Chicken

[sooty]

Newbies Nest

Hi chicken and everyone else. Good to hear you sounding so upbeat chicken well done and keep it up. And you are right we all do have things to be grateful for and reminding ourselves each day is a good idea.
My husband has been a right twit this morning and really got on my nerves ....so I will try and remember something that he's done thats helpful ....just give me an hour or two (lol)
Anyway hope everyone in the nest has a good day. Keep a steady grip on your branch and together we'll get through friday and the whole of the weekend.
Talk later, got lots to do

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Yay!
Just figured out how to get my Avatar up!
*cluck*
chicken