Newbies Nest

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=Byrdlady;1410752]Slay...is 'right as rain' yours? Ooops, sorry for the patent infringment, if it's good, I just run with it!



Nah! The Matrix was a favorite movie of mine when it came out. There is a line by the oracle, "before you know it, you'll be right as rain". I was just commenting to RC about where some of those voices in his head come from...programs the 'Matrix' puts into our heads. That movie resonated with me for years because I felt like the writer felt just like I did. Sitting on the outside watching all the programs running in the world that start from a child and continue on through life. I used to call it dronesville, but there it was in a movie.

You are quick witted! Love it. Hope my mind rallies back to a time when...well, time will tell.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Slay, where'd you get that spillway image? That is intense. When I was a kid, we use to skateboard in the spillway tunnels under our local reservoir. Nuts.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Boy, sure feeling chatty today. Haven't gotten much work done, that's for sure. I was just e-mailing with this guy who has been guiding trips through the Grand Canyon since the late 1960's...he's also the guy selling the boat I posted earlier. A legend. Anyway, I was asking him about some of the more major rapids like Lava and Crystal and his advice to me was "run the rapids when you get there".

That's damn good advice vs. getting all worked up over it months beforehand. The same could be said for this fight with AL. Don't get all worried about how to deal with it until you're looking at a craving square in the face. When this happens, find your line, see yourself executing through it successfully and then commit!

Like this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLLqqHn31DQ&feature=related[/video]]Lava Falls Rapid, Grand Canyon, Dory April 2009 - YouTube

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1410782 wrote: Slay, where'd you get that spillway image? That is intense. When I was a kid, we use to skateboard in the spillway tunnels under our local reservoir. Nuts.

A FB friend posted it on her site and I nabbed it! It's a useful visual.

Nuts is normal for males. I know what you're thinking. (G) heh, heh

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone is OK

Fin, glad you are back on track ~ one day at a time, huh?
I know you are excited about your Grand Canyon trip but first you need to conquer this beast

Greetings Slay, how are you?

Temperatures are dropping here on the east coast again, oh well.
Stay warm & cozy in the nest! Use the butt velcro kids
Lav

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Quick note as we settle down for the night. Fin and RC, I'm so glad you both are back. And we have a wonderful group of newbies that have joined. I'm behind with all the posts, and sorry to not respond to all the thoughts, but thank you for the community. I feel it if sometimes I'm in the corner listening.

Hope everyone feels peace tonight.

Cat

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Thank you Cat - good to be back.

Fin, you're inspiring me with yer Grand Canyon trip... I'm debating whether to sign up for the Barcelona Marathon... but would like to do it with a running buddy (forking out to go to Spain to run a marathon is all fine and well, but would be way more fun if done with someone i know!)

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

If I was ten years younger, I'd do it with you, RC. Maybe I could cheer from the sidelines? I hear Barcelona is amazing.

Cat

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1410926 wrote: If I was ten years younger, I'd do it with you, RC. Maybe I could cheer from the sidelines? I hear Barcelona is amazing.

Cat

Just got back from checking the enormous penis thread and the first comment I saw here from Cat was "if I was 10 years younger, I'd do it with you, RC." Gosh, gotta get my head out of the gutter!

It's middle of night, woke up and decided to check MWO... Now I shall get back to sleep.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1410926 wrote: If I was ten years younger, I'd do it with you, RC. Maybe I could cheer from the sidelines? I hear Barcelona is amazing.

Cat

this statement really needs to be read in context!:H

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning & Happy Hump Day (and I mean middle of the work week friends :H)

Frosty here but sunny, not bad at all. Stella & her friends have been up & out for a couple of hours already
Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday! I have a full day scheduled including watching my grandsons. All of this is possible for one reason & I am truly grateful!

Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

yeah where's dottie?

I am feeling a little cloudy headed this morning....I will try to stay on track.:H

RC - One thing I've figured out is this...no matter how much we want to spare others the pain and even danger of going back to test the waters, I think it's human nature for most to have to see for themselves. Hopefully all the warnings will still be in someone's head so that they can at some point - step out of their body and SEE where they're headed - like you did. So in the event that my voice was one that was quietly whispering in your ear "see what's happening RC? It's not going to get any better..." I will add to it and say that as long as you stay on top of this and feel as vulnerable as you did when you first quit - so that you are completely on guard - I believe you'll be fine. I made the mistake after my first 30 days of easing back into it for several weeks...it wasn't a fast spiral - I had time to convince myself that I was controlling it....it took 6 months to get my act together and before I did, I was right back to where I was the first time - NOT controlling it AT ALL.

So I love that you gave us permission to say "check out your own words" because we all know how easily and quickly those feelings of determination can change to words of "why not?"

I had a dream last night - it wasn't a "drinking" dream exactly - but it was interesting that I DID experience that "moment"in the dream....that moment of KNOWING that I AM going to drink. Even though at times, in the past - it felt that my body was acting on its own - driving to the store - in my soul I know that before that, I had that "moment" - where a tiny little nurdl () of a thought was allowed to take root in my brain - a thought that maybe I could have a drink or two....or that today might be a good day to get some. In my dream, it was - if I remember correctly - a thought about the holidays - damn dick head is invading my subconscious while I sleep. And I was just slowly formulating a plan to drink. My conscious brain has NO plans whatsoever to drink - ever! So I think that this was just the voice making an effort - and I already knew that even now, I will have to step up my strength over the holidays....

ah well....there's my cloudy post this morning....I hope it made sense.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1410833 wrote: Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone is OK

Fin, glad you are back on track ~ one day at a time, huh?
I know you are excited about your Grand Canyon trip but first you need to conquer this beast

Greetings Slay, how are you?

Temperatures are dropping here on the east coast again, oh well.
Stay warm & cozy in the nest! Use the butt velcro kids
Lav

Thanks for asking, Lav. Struggling with heartache, but doing it sober, so that's a great thing!!!!

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Lolab
I had a not exactly drinking dream last night too. I hate them. I was standing in a liquor store looking over a cold case of delicious white wines, surrounded by cases and cases of wines on the floor. I wanted to buy just one bottle and was sad know that I couldn't even have a taste. I TTDP. It's a good thing too because obviously this is our subconscious working as we sleep. Now I'm all befuddled and depressed and I feel like I should have a hangover but I don't. I hate this.
~nurdl

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Fin, I watched that video....does that boat you are considering have 'OH SHIT' handles and indoor plumbing? :H

Lola, I was thinking the same thing! As you can see, our Newbie's Nest isn't necessarily filled with New Newbie's. There are many of us who came back after trying to make it work. It is part of the process of letting go, I think. There is not ONE doubt in my mind that I can't drink again....so I am able to let that go and move on. It cleared up a lot of space in my mind. I have peace instead of constant conflict. I have MindPeace. I am amazed at how much space that occupied up there. There at the end, it was taking dam near all of it. To say it was an obsession is about the size of it, my world was revolving around it. So when I say to people that I have faith that they can break the cycle, too, I know from bitter experience. That Lav pulled me out of the ashes more than once. So if I can do it, I know you can, too! My willpower isn't any stronger than anyone else's....it just got to the point where even I could see the writing on the wall.

So, I hope everyone has a safe and easy AF day today! Hump Day, Lav!! Good one, that penis thread is really big around here!!:H:H:H RC was even stumped! XO, Byrdie