Newbies Nest

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,

Another early start and off to a conference today. Should be fun. But it always ends the same - 4pm and and free wine, before folks head to a bar. I was there last year. My favourite part of the whole day.

P.O.A - bugger off at 4pm.

Only to get home where I will find my flatmate has friends round drinking for his buffday today. ARG! It's fecking everywhere!

P.O.A - heading north to stay at my folks house in the country this weekend. They're not there, but the peace will give me time to do school-work (gotta study for an exam and write an essay). So will head up shortly after getting back from the conference. Will share a non-AL drink with flatmate/s and scarper.

So, all being well, the P.O.A will work ...

FD - as ever good to hear from you. Keep focusing on school, mate, and we all look forward to you insights about the demon drink and the freedom of AF in due course.

Nanette - 2 weeks! That was some fight last night. But you won. :woot:

Well, thank feck it's Friders - have a very good day peeps.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi fellow nesters! Day 16 here....

Just wanted to pop in and say a word or two about "being there." Dottie's situation with her dad made me really think. It also brought up lots of feelings of regret....

Regret that I was "not there" for my mom when she was sick and needed me. Sure, I showed up at the hospital and all, but in reality, I was far away. I dealt with her sickness by drinking and drinking more. I buried my head in the bottle, as if that was going to make her get well. I was in a huge state of denial (she'll snap out of it), and alcohol was my crutch. I ran to the beast instead of facing my hurt. I was not there for my mom when she needed me the most. She passed away, and now I can never go back and make up for that time. The beast stole that from me. It's a permanent scar that I will have to live with the rest of my life.

Moral of the story here....

We have to "be there" for our friends and family in time of need. Alcohol prevents us from doing that. You never know when you're going to get "that call." That dreaded call. Inevitably it's coming - especially for those of us with aging parents. My dad is almost 80 now!

I hope everyone has a wonderful, sober day. Tell alcohol to go F himself.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Just to add Rooni, that the hard thing is to 'be there' when the parent is absent through dementia is very hard.
I speak to my mum on the phone and she doesn't know who I am.....so it feels pointless.

Well done on your day 16 :goodjob:

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1412310 wrote: Just to add Rooni, that the hard thing is to 'be there' when the parent is absent through dementia is very hard.
I speak to my mum on the phone and she doesn't know who I am.....so it feels pointless.

Kuya - I can't even imagine being in your situation. I know it's extremely painful. I send prayers to you and your family through this time. And I also send you strength to NOT turn to the beast in these trying times.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters.

Hope everyone had a safe night in the nest

My plan for the day includes work this morning. shopping & lunch this afternoon with my daughter & grandaughter - I'm happy!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday.
RC, your plan sounds good - enjoy!
FD, glad you are coping well

Lav

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning all! I see several people are going through difficult circumstances and struggles. There is no way to get through life without some pain if you are human. It just comes with the process of being alive. Alcohol seems like such an easy answer to escape or an even easier way to punish ourselves or self destruct from any guilt, regrets or sadness from situations that hurt, but we have no control over. I thought I'd just add a few quotes and such to maybe help make it through the day today.

__________________________________________________ ________________________

In every single person's life lies a mistake made by a person that they wish they could take back, whether they are ready to admit it or not. The only way to move past the regret of a mistake in our lives that still causes us pain is to forgive yourself for it. Not only is it our right to, but forgiving our selves allows us to move past obstacles in our lives that we would not have otherwise moved past without doing so.

Forgiving yourself is synonymous with refreshing or cleansing one's spirit of the emotional and spiritual turmoil that seems to block a person from living their life as they should, as a clogged artery may stop a person's life in the physical sense. In order to move forward in our lives, the forgiveness of ourselves, and those who commit wrongs against us is key.

"We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves." - Joshua Loth Liebman

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering up its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”

~ Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
― James Baldwin


Realize that you are not alone
There is something very powerful about knowing that other people are going through what you are going through. Realizing that you are not alone is an extremely good way to deal with pain and hardships.

Let’s take the example of someone with severe depression. Depression can make you feel pretty alone. In fact, 90% of the time depression makes you feel so isolated and self-orientated that you don’t have a thought about other people for long stretches of time. I was a bit like this in my teen years.

But when you open up to the fact that you are not alone you get a boost of some really powerful strength. You get a sense of community, of friendship, of companionship – even if you haven’t met anyone else with the condition. Just knowing that there are other people out there like you can really make you feel good.

The next step in this idea is to realize that thousands of other people have gone through what you are going through and come out the other end. They have made it through and won. They haven’t died, lost hope or given up. They have faced the very same thing as you (whatever it is) and they have come out the other end. Never forget this.



Hugs to all who are braving through hardships.:l

Love,

Slay

P.S. - wish I had more time this morning, but I'm being summoned.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, RC. That means a lot. I hope your weekend goes well. We can struggle through together.

Enjoy your weekend.

Kuya, I really felt strongly about that the other night. I am working on a game plan to make it through these times. Let's stay on top of it together. :l

Love,

Slay

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

it's true - while it stinks that I was drinking to deal with things for the 10 years that my mother was bedridden in a nursing home...I focus on the fact that for most of her last year, I was sober...I was able to look at things so much more clearly and even thought I sure had my moments of aggravation at the never ending phone calls and requests and guilt inducing statements...I was able to understand more - the why's of her behavior...where when I was drinking, it was all about me, and how she inconvenienced my life.

And honestly for many years, I used her. I used her situation as an excuse to drink.

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters:

Another restful sleep. I think this new micronized l glutamine that i bought helps me sleep through the night and is extremely relaxing.

One thing I do have to do eventually is bite the bullet and get my liver enzymes checked. I still feel my liver is enlarged and feels like it hurts. Scared of the needle and scared to find out if I did any permanent damage to my liver...

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters :l

Glad to see everyone made it through the night safely. Great job, Nanette :wd:
and Cat, that was quite a battle you went through yourself a few weeks back :l

I guess we are all getting to realize day by day just how much winning this war means to us. Thank God we are such fighters and that we have such great nest moms to help us through it all :thanks: moms :l

R.C. we are so glad you are back here with us! Sounds like you are surrounded by temptation quite a bit. You are one of the strong ones and we admire you!

Kuya and Alley- thanks for the advice and I'm going to stock up on some vitamins and get some of that micronized glutamine today!

Hey Dottie- hang in there, girl :l

Okay, gang- I am going to be away this weekend. I will be leaving town in a bit and will not have access to a computer SO- pay attention, Bennii and Fin.....

Are ya ready????

What this means is that your 7 day achievements will be honored with an

Original, GenuINE,


Byrdlady Moon-

Can't get much better than that-

So- Don't mess up now, ya hear!

Be good!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Star..I will step in as Official Mooner til you get back. But don't expect all the fancy fonts and stuff! AND colors! You know, I just looked above where I'm typing and all the tools are right up there! DUH!!!!!!!!!!! (sometimes I scare myself.....)

Nesters, between the Day 13 Phenomenon and your hat award at 30 days, your emotions will be all over the place. One minute in total control and the next having a case of the 'FECK ITS'. It is a rollercoaster for a couple of weeks there. Have your support plan in place....if you know this is going to happen, it really helps. Come here and read if you feel vunerable....dig your heels in!

Friday is just another day! So stay strong...I am a one-woman Complaint Department today, so gotta run! Hugs to all....Byrdie

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Rooniferd, thank you for that post. I had a scare with a parent a while ago while I was still drinking, and things were pretty dicey. Of course, I coped in the way I was used to, by drinking more. It really and truly felt wrong to do that, though. I knew that I should have been more available, but I wasn't. Thankfully, I still have both my parents.

Hi to FinallyDone!

Have a great AF day everyone!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1412354 wrote: Good Morning, Nesters :l

Glad to see everyone made it through the night safely. Great job, Nanette :wd:
and Cat, that was quite a battle you went through yourself a few weeks back :l

I guess we are all getting to realize day by day just how much winning this war means to us. Thank God we are such fighters and that we have such great nest moms to help us through it all :thanks: moms :l

R.C. we are so glad you are back here with us! Sounds like you are surrounded by temptation quite a bit. You are one of the strong ones and we admire you!

Kuya and Alley- thanks for the advice and I'm going to stock up on some vitamins and get some of that micronized glutamine today!

Hey Dottie- hang in there, girl :l

Okay, gang- I am going to be away this weekend. I will be leaving town in a bit and will not have access to a computer SO- pay attention, Bennii and Fin.....

Are ya ready????

What this means is that your 7 day achievements will be honored with an

Original, GenuINE,


Byrdlady Moon-

Can't get much better than that-

So- Don't mess up now, ya hear!

Be good!

Roger that, Captain! Onward to 7...

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon,
Friday afternoon and not soon enough...off next week and I must do some looking around for a suitable place for my dad...they had to up his meds because he was really pissed off and cussing and pushing the nurses..he has always had a bad temper...so I dont blame them one bit...
Hate to go the medicaid route but his teachers pension just wont cover much of anything...
what a fecking mess ........
Dottie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Must be Friday - Avatar change. Punching through the weekend AF like this dory punching a massive hole in the Grand Canyon.

Be good, all -
Fin