Newbies Nest

[4mykids]

Newbies Nest

Hi all
I'm kind of new here,,on day 4. Feeling pretty good, had an on/off headache and some sleep issues, definite major bitchiness, but other than that doing good...LOL. My family may not agree on that last one
Anyway, I've been a heavy drinker for 30 years. I'm 45. Two teenagers and I REALLY need to kick this habit and get myself healthy. I do fear I've done permanent irreversible damage to my liver but I guess we will see in time. The first time I drank I had 6 beers. I've never been able to have just one or two, always drinking til i puked or passed out. In the last 5 years or so, that isn't the case. I guess my tolerance level got really high but still been drinking way over what is normal or healthy and I need to stop.
I've tried before with limited success. I think my problem is that I have never had a discussion with anyone about it...not my husband, kids, friends, parents, no one. I'm afraid if I actually confess I have a problem (as if they don't know..HA) and tell people I want to quite drinking, and I fail,,everyone will know. I feel that if I keep my struggle a "secret", if I fail then no one will know and I won't be judged. But I really feel it would help me stay accountable if I had this conversation with someone I know.
Anyone else had this problem? My husband is basically a good person, and would support me 100%, but I've never been good at the 'honesty' thing...

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

@4mykids: You are SO NOT alone. My experience is very similar to yours. My early quits last month were largely private. I went 14 days, then 28 days, then 6 days and now I'm on day 5 of my 4th attempt. This round feels different as I learned a lot about my personal situation over the course of the 3 other attempts.

I'm now more committed than ever having at least broken the wicked daily, hellish cycle. I have learned a lot of new skills for coping from this group as well. All told, I have now also included my wife in the process - pretty much full disclosure on what I intend to accomplish. What I've never disclosed to her (have to some of my close buddies) is just how much I was drinking every day. I was up to 6 IPAs at 7.5% AL / day which for me was A LOT.

Anyway, good on you for the days you have under your belt so far. Keep in rolling and know that every step of the way you've got this supreme group of folks to lean on when you need some support.

Yours,
-Fin

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

What is IPA??

[4mykids]

Newbies Nest

Dottie your so cute.. It's an India Pale Ale (beer), right Fin?
Thanks Fin I appreciate your reply. No ones knows how much I drink either. They just know it's too much. I'm usually half wasted by 6 when my husband gets home,,a coping mechanism I guess for the tough times in our marriage and dealing with the kids all day. Now that they are semi self sufficient that really isn't an excuse anymore. Then the self-loathing in the mornings, followed by an attempt at some exercise, a vow to not drink that day and then caving by 4 pm when Ellen comes on..lol. High hopes for an AF weekend...cheers (with my club soda..

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

hiya 4mykids :hiya: and welcome aboard! :welcome:

Settle in. You'll find many friends here.

Have you checked out the tool thread yet? It's here: Tool Box

Keep posting!
RC

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone, I am just noticing that you just hit a YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! I remember when you flew in! Gosh, it is with GREAT pride, that I bestow a very small token of this huge accomplishment! :grannypants: These are your Big Boy Shorts. I couldn't find a set of boxers for you.... Please accept this on behalf of us nesters! Would you have a few words about your journey? If not, no problem, but what an inspiration!! I'm so glad you are still with us! Here's to a lifetime of sobriety!!

4my, Welcome and my best early advice is to check out the tool box link in my signature line below. I was just like you, except my 5 o'clock kept getting earlier and earlier until it became perpetual. Some nights my sister would call and I'd go make notes of what we talked about so I could remember next time she called. After 6 I was pretty useless myself....So glad you found us...If an old drunk like me can find her way, I KNOW there's hope for you!!

Work is nuts....which reminds me to go check the Penis thread.....(sorry!). Love to all! XO, Byrdie

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Pull up a seat 4mykids. You are in good company with common ground. There are people here at all levels. You can post your AF days on the roll call as well, if you'd like to keep some accountability and ride along with others.


My day: On the way home, I stopped to meet my daughter at a pub I used to frequent before she went to work and ordered a coke. It was a convenience meet up for us both. Of course some old 'pub friends' were there telling me they were buying. In my mood it would have been so easy to say alright, but after an hour of conversation and my coke, I got my behind out of there. May not be strong enough at this point to handle that temptation. I was actually craving a coke (thirsty and hungry), but once I got around people I knew who were drinking, it sure sounded good...old times trigger.

'BACK TO YOUR CAGE, SLAY and don't forget where those OLD TIMES lead'!!!!

AF today! Another urge bites the dust...

Stay strong all. If you want it bad enough, you can do it!!! For me, it's about really wanting it. I have to fight my weakness to second guess that again. It has its easy days and its hard days, but every win gives you confidence to move to the next day/step. If I can beat the enemy this time, I can beat the enemy the next time. Sometimes, you have to fake it till you make it.

Love,

Slay

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

:wd: Slay! Already posted to you re your day. But yeah - good on ya.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

RunningCourage;1412528 wrote: :wd: Slay! Already posted to you re your day. But yeah - good on ya.

Gotcha! Replied. Thanks.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady, thank you for the shorts! This last year has been the best year of my adult life. I had been drinking too much beer since college, and I always wanted to give it up for good. The short version is that drinking alcohol finally became a source of misery for me. I tried to cut back or moderate more times than I can count, but I ended up partying even harder to make up for "moderation." Please understand that I'm not knocking moderation as a concept, I just know that there is no way in hell to make it work for me, ever.

Last November, I had a moment where I felt the oppresive weight of what I was doing to myself, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I sat down and wrote myself a letter that I still read from time to time. I decided to get some outside help and came to this forum. It was hard at first, but I had to learn how to struggle and make it through. I made a plan, practiced the techniques and learned the concepts to make it work for me. Coming to this forum everyday has been a big help to me. The thing is, I'm not missing out on any part of my life anymore. I have gained my life back and learning how to live again. Thanks to everyone who has supported me here!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

4mykids;1412449 wrote: Hi all
I'm kind of new here,,on day 4. Feeling pretty good, had an on/off headache and some sleep issues, definite major bitchiness, but other than that doing good...LOL. My family may not agree on that last one
Anyway, I've been a heavy drinker for 30 years. I'm 45. Two teenagers and I REALLY need to kick this habit and get myself healthy. I do fear I've done permanent irreversible damage to my liver but I guess we will see in time. The first time I drank I had 6 beers. I've never been able to have just one or two, always drinking til i puked or passed out. In the last 5 years or so, that isn't the case. I guess my tolerance level got really high but still been drinking way over what is normal or healthy and I need to stop.
I've tried before with limited success. I think my problem is that I have never had a discussion with anyone about it...not my husband, kids, friends, parents, no one. I'm afraid if I actually confess I have a problem (as if they don't know..HA) and tell people I want to quite drinking, and I fail,,everyone will know. I feel that if I keep my struggle a "secret", if I fail then no one will know and I won't be judged. But I really feel it would help me stay accountable if I had this conversation with someone I know.
Anyone else had this problem? My husband is basically a good person, and would support me 100%, but I've never been good at the 'honesty' thing...

4MK ...... I so relate to your not discussing the problem. I did the same and for good reason, I believe. Deep down you know that, as a mother and wife, the family hinges on you. If you discussed it you would feel under pressure to change and that very pressure would increase your anxiety and make you want to drink MORE.
Well, you have US now, to tell. There are many members who have NEVER told the depth of their problem to their family or friends, but instead use MWO as their 'confessional'.
In a world where alcohol abuse is stigmatized this is a common and understandable choice.

So welcome, stay close read,read, post, post and you can find your way out of this mess.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks 4mykids....not a beer drinker so I learned something new today.....
My doc was wine....by the box....
I am now OFF for the entire of next week...woohoo....have an appointment with social worker for care plan on Monday..htis is hard but I am an only child so I have no options.

I want to thank all of u for the support...I have only been in the nest a short time and the outpouring of kindness is more than I could have imagined.....thank you so much..
Dottie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Well done to you Slay for being in a pub and leaving sober! WTG girl. You are braver than I would be at such an early stage.

And congrats to you Pinecone on your year.......can't wait to be you!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone, wow, thanks for taking the time to write that. It is an amazing journey...it's good to get to know the 'self' that's under all that crap. I am so happy for you, we made a good choice the day we found this site and decided to participate!

DottieB, my heart continues to ache for you. I wish there were something I could do...

Kuya, you continue to amaze me...you are doing so well. How do you all say it over there, are you chuffed? That sounds like a rash of some sort to me, but yall seem to like the phrase! I just wanted to point out how much I admire your progress and support here in the nest.

Running...I've been so busy with work this week that I realize I haven't given you any decent materials for the next installment of The Big Sober House!

Weekends aren't an excuse to drink...no hall passes! It's just another day! Stay strong everyone! We are all in this together....Byrdie

[leadballoon]

Newbies Nest

I don't know if this is right...

I am new and have never posted here before. I'm not really even sure what to say. I found this site while looking around online for any help/advice about quitting drinking. People seemed very nice, and some of the threads are so thoughtful. I'm having some really overwhelming feelings of self loathing these days, and the past couple of days I've been feeling truly sorry for my husband, my sister, and my family that they even have to be around such a horrible person (me). it sounds so ridiculous, but I can't shake the feelings. I haven't had anything to drink in 6 days, and it seems to be going ok. I got my first ever OUI at the beginning of October, and dealing with the very expensive aftermath has me taking a long hard look in the mirror. And I hate what I see. I don't know, this is rambling and stupid. But I needed to go somewhere.