I may not be an expert on sobriety, but I sure have learned a lot along the way. Especially about "failures" and slips.
BTW, for you newbies, just a quick history about me. I am a 44-yr-old single woman who has been drinking pretty heavily as a social outlet almost my entire adulthood. On Aug. 4th, I started taking Antabuse, which is a prescription drug that forces you not to drink. Basically, if you drink while taking the drug, you get really sick. I tested the waters three times by "forgetting" to take the pills, and each time I beat myself up pretty bad.
But the important thing is that I learned from my mistakes. After falling and getting up so many times, I have finally started to turn those self-loathing sessions into lessons. What did I do wrong? How did this happen? WHAT TRIGGERED THIS?
So, in reality, they aren't failures. I mean, sure, you screwed up your goal and you probably let people down, including yourself. But each time you get back up, your resolve is that much stronger, and you've learned something new about YOU.
Your list of what works and what doesn't work keeps getting longer and longer, until one day, all those trials and tribulations of running on that hampster wheel finally pay off, and you GET IT. Just like a scientist performing trial and error to find a cure, you finally reach the answer. You finally discover the key to sobriety.
But it takes work to get there.
And you cannot give up!! Stay determined!
Ask any person on this forum who has a long time of sobriety behind them. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will happen! Byrdie is living proof!
OK, enough rambling at 6:30AM!
Love to all!! :l
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