Newbies Nest

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Weight loss post AF

I'll share some history and details which explain my diet and weight loss post AL.

Before I started drinking daily, I had an eating disorder and had been suffering from it for eight years (age 13-21). That final year, I lived with my sister, who would the following year be forced into AL rehab under threat of losing her job. She drank every day, and I started to as well. The eating disorder ended. Blink. AL was a preferable alternative, and at that time, very moderate consumption levels.

That was 25 years ago. When I decided to give up AL, I had bloated up and gained 15 lbs from my comfortable weight. This despite regular workouts and running. In giving up AL, I knew the sugar demons would return, and I thought, this is my chance, 33 years after it all started, to put an end to it. So I did not eat candy or other sweets, drink fruit juice (except when trying to be AF at restaurants!), or other simple sugars. I did not indulge that sweet monster. It was hard, brutal, my stomach clenched and I felt extreme hunger a good portion of the time. But I had eaten, good protein, grain and veggie foods, so I would ignore the hunger. Sometimes I would eat an apple or pear - that would help. But I decided to gut it out. It was not fun.

I'm still taking L-Glut and Kudzu, as I was during this time. Also Vit C, Zinc and B-complex which I have read are essential for the former sugar-abuser. The extreme cravings are gone. When I eat a meal, I can end it and move on to something else. It used to be once I started eating it would go on forever. Because of this, I would delay the start, which added it's own problems. But things are definitely balancing now.

This is all in sync with what Almost Free shared. I just wanted to add that my experience didn't happen without effort. It was a profound commitment driven by the thought - I have spent 3/4 of my life fearing food every day. Enough is enough.

Cat

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Cat, Kuya,

God, how much everyone is dealing with! Dottie, too. My heart goes out to all of you. My two years of sobriety were a couple of the worst years I ever had to deal with. And still there are more overwhelming problems, which I don't know how they will all end. It doesn't look like things will turn out well. It just never seems to end. I can't believe I got through those two years sober.

You are right about the sugar, Cat. That was a very important factor in my success. Even though fruit is not 'white', I eliminated all fruit, with the exception of a few frozen cherries (low glycemic) mixed into some plain yogurt as my 'dessert'. Also, no grains, like corn, or even brown rice. Only the one or two whole grain slices.

I'd have a half a turkey sandwich after my noon AA meeting, with lettuce, tomato and cheese. And if I was still hungry after dinner, or craved something salty, I could always have a half a peanut butter sandwich. I decided that I would never let myself be hungry, but it had to be only allowed food. If I had no more bread ration left, I even resorted to just a spoon of plain peanut butter before bed. I also made a point of making a large, fresh, dark leafy green salad every night, before my lean protein/allowed vegetable dinner. A good, healthy, filling addition. And I never worried about fat, like dressing, butter or cheese. In fact, I had a cheese omelet almost every morning.

Getting rid of the sugar, in any form, which includes high glycemic items like potatoes or corn, helped with the alcohol cravings, and actually the sugar craving stopped after a couple of days. Lots of high glycemic eating seems to make me very vulnerable to switching over to alcohol. Well, here I go again, going on and on......sorry.

Good night to all, prayers for all of you in your struggles. Hope to hear from you all tomorrow. Hugs to all, too.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1413820 wrote: I'll share some history and details which explain my diet and weight loss post AL.

Before I started drinking daily, I had an eating disorder and had been suffering from it for eight years (age 13-21). That final year, I lived with my sister, who would the following year be forced into AL rehab under threat of losing her job. She drank every day, and I started to as well. The eating disorder ended. Blink. AL was a preferable alternative, and at that time, very moderate consumption levels.

That was 25 years ago. When I decided to give up AL, I had bloated up and gained 15 lbs from my comfortable weight. This despite regular workouts and running. In giving up AL, I knew the sugar demons would return, and I thought, this is my chance, 33 years after it all started, to put an end to it. So I did not eat candy or other sweets, drink fruit juice (except when trying to be AF at restaurants!), or other simple sugars. I did not indulge that sweet monster. It was hard, brutal, my stomach clenched and I felt extreme hunger a good portion of the time. But I had eaten, good protein, grain and veggie foods, so I would ignore the hunger. Sometimes I would eat an apple or pear - that would help. But I decided to gut it out. It was not fun.

I'm still taking L-Glut and Kudzu, as I was during this time. Also Vit C, Zinc and B-complex which I have read are essential for the former sugar-abuser. The extreme cravings are gone. When I eat a meal, I can end it and move on to something else. It used to be once I started eating it would go on forever. Because of this, I would delay the start, which added it's own problems. But things are definitely balancing now.

This is all in sync with what Almost Free shared. I just wanted to add that my experience didn't happen without effort. It was a profound commitment driven by the thought - I have spent 3/4 of my life fearing food every day. Enough is enough.

Cat

Wow Cat, and also with reference to your post Almost Free,

I so relate to this. I was had mixed eating disorders 14 years old onwards to different degrees. It is VERY common for eating disorders to progress to alcohol abuse. I actually suspect that a large percentage here have eating disorders 'masked' as 'healthy' eating.

For instance, it is VERY common, often within days of becoming sober, for people to voice concern over their weight. We are all here for a life threatening disease yet body image remains predominant for many. I doubt that is mirrored on cancer recovery sites.

That said, TRUE healthy eating will help recovery by balancing blood sugar and preventing AL cravings. There is a 'cut out sugar' thread and I think it is vital for long term sobriety to do so. When drinking I never craved sugar because I was drinking it. Now I HAVE to have fruit for evening dessert but I am starting to be more discerning about the type of fruit.

There is so much to learn and repair, but, like you Cat, I am tired of fearing food. All those years of deprivation and still ended up obese because of booze......how very sad.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Everyone ready for a great AF week?

Dottie, I am so happy you've decided to 'grab the bull by the horns', so to speak
Commit yourself, you will do just fine & we will all be here cheering you on. Regaining our self-respect is the best thing ever!!!!!
Best wishes to your husband as well. No matter what life throws at us we can handle it better when we are filly present.

Re weight issues - mine are/were all due to hormonal changes. I always maintained a healthy weight but menopausal changes really killed my metabolism. But I have found a way to circumvent all that & I'm happy

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!
Lav

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Regarding the weight issue and eating disorders - I too have suffered from both of these issues. Obviously I don't need a medical diagnosis to tell me I'm fat, but I was addicited many years ago to laxatives. I used to binge and purge continuously, with the effects now of bowel problems and major haemorrhoids (TMI I know, but I'm honest).

It's only through reading the posts on MWO that I can see MY link - I'm not speaking fro everyone here.

I was addicted to sugar, so I binged on it. Which led to weight issues which I managed with laxatives - every day. Another addiction. Then I discovered alcohol while at uni - which killed my appetite - so I binged on that too.

I always say I don't eat sugar / chocolate - and when I've been drinking, I don't. In fact, in the last few years I've been drinking in the evenings so that I don't eat. Completely messed up. And I'm still overweight. And I'm still scared of my evening meal. But I do know that if I have my evening meal, I will not drink. Cos I can't on a full belly.

Am I the only one that feels like this ?

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I am going to do my best to catch up a bit ? this will be a tough week to stay in touch ? I?ve been busy with house projects and getting back to my workout routine ? which feels so good ? but I am sore. The workouts are 1 ? hrs /day and very strenuous. I did the program 4 years ago ? while drinking?.sometimes couldn?t wait to get done with my workout only because I could then drink freely the rest of the day. I?m now starting the program again ? but am almost 30 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of it back then. I should have some awesome results!

Anyway?.getting ready for Thanksgiving ? so like many of you, may be here sporadically this week. I am going to dig up Byrdie?s rabbit hole post AGAIN. Now, I know ? some of us have read it a hundred times ? but if there is even one person that it helps, it is worth posting again?.

I have to say hello to Navasana - and congratulations on your one WEEK! Push on through ? that tiredness hangs on in the beginning ? but it?s so worth it ? knowing that your body is healing. And welcome back almost free! Lots of great info from you!

Kradle ? I do know that sometimes it seems as though it?s so easy for everybody else. I have at times looked towards lav, Byrdie, other people on the forum with long term sobriety, and thought that I am so different from them. That they seems so much more committed than I am ? that they just made that decision and never looked back?.Where I sometimes see myself as someone who changed from a mild mannered ? let things roll off her back ? laughing and fun kind of drunk person ? to an often anxious ? high strung ? often bitchy! sober person. And yes, sometimes still, I wish I could just relax and not care anymore?.I guess about everything. But if I look at the real picture, I wasn?t that person in the past. It?s just an illusion. In reality, I was falling asleep on my family. Honestly, my son STILL often follows me upstairs in the evening ? I think to make sure I?m not going to pass out in bed by 7?..(nope, I?m just up here putting laundry away ? LOL!) I sometimes passed out before I even fed them. I took daily risks of drinking and driving?I didn?t take care of myself, or my house or my family. I love to cook and entertain and it was becoming such a struggle to do either. The illusion can be that I was so much more relaxed then?.that things aren?t any better now ? but the reality is far from that. We could not adequately take care of our lives if we continued drinking. That?s all that has to be better?.


We all have our moments, for sure ? but just like cravings ? those moments of feeling like it?s all futile ? become less and less frequent as time goes on. Keep hanging around and keep posting on how you?re feeling, OK?

Mom, congratulations ? you?ve come to a realization that can make all the difference in the world. If that thought was always in the back of your mind, and you never tested it - you?d probably always wonder?.no matter how much someone else told you that it?s pretty hard to go back to being a normal drinker after crossing that line ? and like others have said, if you figured it out that soon, you are a step ahead of me, too! I kept trying for 6 months for pete?s sake. Our kids are close in age, and I can?t tell you how wonderful it feels to me to know that I am setting a great example for him?.I always hated that he saw that every celebration or get together centered around alcohol?not to mention, he was getting old enough to know about the daily drinking ? when I was passing out every night.

Nanette, now you?re on to the next phase of this wonderful part of your life. Just like before, it might be challenging in the beginning ? getting used to a new routine of working ? and not coming home to drinking afterwards ? so your plan might need some tweaking at this point ? but you are READY! You?re doing so well.

Hi Quest ? yeah, I didn?t eat as much when I drank either. I don?t know if it was conscious or if I just got so shitfaced, I forgot?

Dottie, Glad you're sticking with us - :l

I don?t get too involved in the details of what I eat ? mostly, I just try to eat little to no processed foods. No soda either. I noticed something last night when filling out my grocery list. I have a ?template? that I made for the store ? which has ?Aisle 1 canned fruits, veggies? you know ? so I can put things that I need, in the right aisle on my list and not have to backtrack?and I noticed that some of those aisles ? I haven?t even gone down in months and months. I need to change my template to make more room in the produce aisle and the organic aisle because that?s where I buy most of my items. All of these ?convenience? foods come at a price. Even shredded cheese has something added to make it not cake together!

OK?.I do have to go. I am sticking to my plans this week and limiting my computer time!:H

Lola (off first to dig up the rabbit hole scenario)

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

damn, I can't find it right now...I have to get moving. If anyone is looking around the boards - I believe it's from Nov 2011 in the nest....and it's all about Thanksgiving and how it will be if you drink.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nestmates! :l

Back from my weekend trip and trying to catch up with everyone. Welcome to our newest members- we are so happy to have you with us! Congrats to everyone racking up the days and :goodjob: to those who are getting back on the wagon- it's the best place for all of us and we have plenty of room for all!

This is also a busy week for me! Major work deadlines before the Thanksgiving Holidays and then travel out of town. I will be keeping up as much as possible.

Byrdie, Thanks so much for keeping up with the "moon duties" while I was away :l

:h Star

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Lola, I pulled up Byrdie's post:


Byrdie: "Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil.

You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around.

Before you know it the solitary glass of wine is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...

Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else?

The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went. (the line that spoke to me...)

You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket.

BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels.

By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie"

[DorothyFree]

Newbies Nest

I've read some but now have to put on clothes and get to work in 5, so I will just say today is the end of my 4th week and the beginning of my 5th. Couldn't have done it without you. Thank you all for being here.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow....eating disorders, huh? Well, I guess I'll have to put my hand up for this one, too. Dang, is there ONE contributing factor around here that I can say I didn't have? I'll have to keep looking, so far, I am them ALL! Right down to not eating the evening meal so I could drink it!

Lav, remember back a couple years ago when someone said something about Essential Tremors and about 6 of us had it? It is a smaller world than we know, isn't it?

Lola, you bring up a good point....and you and I have discussed it...I struggle, too, sometimes. I get down about it at times, but here's the difference between 2 years ago and today, I know how to get those thoughts out. I do not ACT on them. Before, I caved if the occasion had a vowel in it. Dinner? SURE! Celebrate? Why not! Bad day, I could go for a drink....COUNT ME IN! It didn't take much to derail me. Today, I hate AL...and I like it that way. I sometimes fear that someone will hand me a drink with something in it and I'll taste it by mistake. I have thought of a contingency for this....yes, this is part of MY plan....I will spit it back into the glass (like a lady, but spit, nonetheless). I do not want to give Dick Head ONE opportunity to say that it was ok. I am an addict of AL and I know it. So I do not tempt the Gods. Not one drink, NOT EVER, is my motto. But that's just me...you may not have to yell at yourself like I do. I'm pretty thick-headed (as it turns out).

Great nutritional information here over the weekend...too bad it's coming at possibly the worst eating week known to mankind....

We are leaving tomorrow for family visits...will do my best to keep connected to the nest....it's my lifeline, too! Byrdie

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning to all new and old. Well, so far so good on working to reconcile with my husband. We've had some very nice days together. Only time will tell if we are 'both' doing some changes that last and if my changes bring about favorable changes in him. For me, I am only worried about focusing on what changes I need to make presently and hoping his behaviors will change as well after it came to us living separately and me ready to head to the divorce lawyer. The situation has some complicated factors involved. I liken this process to hitting bottom with AL, the reality comes flooding in and you have to take a really good look at the situation from all points of view much more closely and in a completely honest way. When faced with loss, you can get 'real' fast. What I do know is we 'both' have a part in this breakdown. I will do all I can to make the changes I need to make and let go of what has previously transpired from us both. This is a new inning and I'll treat it like a new beginning with a clean slate. I'll have to be diligent about listening to my own honest inner voices without the influence of outside people and any demon's whispers that work harm (I have issues with trust...another story) and history repeating itself. Sometimes it is hard to determine which voice is doing the whispering. Everyone seems to think they know what is best for me and get upset if I don't listen to them. Does anyone else have this issue? Why do people feel so adamant about pushing their opinions on you? There seems to be too much bitterness in the world and maybe I'm naive, but I think 'real pure love' can do wonders, but back to those trust issues. I've been fooled before with this belief system. One last try? I'd really like to believe this is true as it has always been who I am at my core. Fear often likes to slay it down, though. This is one of my conflict/struggle points.

I scanned through the diet entries here. It sounds like many of you are using the Atkins diet. That diet does work to stop sugar cravings, but it takes some days of suffering as you've mentioned to get to that point. We are a bunch of sugar addicts, so we have to withdraw from that, too! (Does it ever end? lol) I've been entertaining using it again to calm my sugar cravings and level my blood sugar swings, but I'm not quite ready yet. Plus my husband likes potatoes and gravy every night for dinner during the week. His life is labor intensive and he has trouble keeping weight on. The meat is always cooked to a point where gravy is with the meat. He's from the Netherlands, so his diet choices are different than mine. It makes it hard to cook jointly for us both at times. He's not a person to want a grilled piece of meat, salad and veggie. He likes Nasi or Chinese meals with rice, etc., and lots of fat, too! He does like whole grains, but my digestion can't have whole grains. My digestion can only handle simple carbs. It's a bit of a dilemma in several ways, so that's on the horizon as something I'll have to work a plan to solve, but too much other stuff going on right now. (I have been sticking to my exercise routine, so that's a plus). Next elimination is coffee. It makes me entirely too jittery even with half caffeine.

Byrdie, thank you. I hope it helps someone. You mentioned you've worked through the hormone change. Care to share details? I've definitely noted a change in the last two years in my metabolism. My husband told me this weekend to take two days a week to work out VERY hard to increase my metabolism. I'm not sure yet whether that would have an effect considering the hormonal changes. I do know that exercise is now mandatory for weight control. It will have the added benefit of being something that helps keep me AF. Put my efforts into building my health instead of destroying it with alcohol. A new focus. If I can keep my personal life in check, maybe it won't be as difficult this time around. Fingers crossed...

Kuya, it's not melodramatic. I think many whether posted or not have felt that way. I certainly have. Sometimes that hopelessness can just lead us there and to that dreaded alcohol which really messes up our emotional thinking.

We are all struggling together. Life presents those struggles and one thing is for sure, we can certainly solve them a lot better without living in a fog of escape. None of us are alone in this. Clearly this nest presents that fact.

:l:h:lto all today. Keep that demon beast at bay. It only brings more problems!!

Love,

Slay

P.S. - Regarding relationships, I found this thought from a site valuable: Are you currently lovable? Would you love you the way you are behaving? When I read them from the following site, it really stopped me for a second. My behavior may have started out very honorable and lovable, but over time, it began to deteriorate because of things I was upset about (rightly so), but yet RIGHT NOW, I asked myself that question like he was me and asked myself, what would I want him to change as me. It was enlightening to say the least. The following list of priorities of important to your mate is, also, eye opening to examine.

Affection
Sexual Fulfillment
Conversation
Recreational Companionship
Honesty and Openness
Physical Attractiveness
Financial Support
Domestic Support
Family Commitment
Admiration

The Most Important Emotional Needs

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Today's quote for change:

"It's like an artist with a clean slate. You just have to paint a new picture. And hopefully, a better one."

~ Brian Mollere

Edit (adding): “You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today's the day. Say it; This is going to be my day.”
Brendon Burchard

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Off to a care meeting at the LTC center. I am so overwhelmed. I have to take control and not let so many things get to me. Easier said than done...
Dottie

[moni]

Newbies Nest

Today is day 5 for me and those thoughts are already creeping in. What if I just buy a tiny bottle of wine (the one glass ones). I know of course this would be disastrous as even this could lead me to go out and buy more. I need to ensure I get from work to home today via the grocery store but avoiding the alcohol aisle. I hate these thoughts. I find it crazy that my thoughts can be consumed with something that could potentially kill me