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    Newbies Nest

    Hi Cat,

    Yes, I did go to bed. Up again, but will go back, soon. I had to leave home and hubby to be with my son and help him through all the legal and medical appointments (required) he had to go through because of his psychotic episode. To help him to make all of his appointments, evaluations, etc. and get everything dismissed.

    He had been released from the hospital and in spite of arrangements for housing, ended up on the street, having lost everything but the clothes on his back. They just seem to release them to the street, heavily medicated and stupidly think they can manage, not only to stay on their meds, but to fend for themselves. He is an adult, but just barely. He was in terrible shape.

    My husband came with me originally, but had to return to work. He is in contact by phone. He is also paying for everything to keep us going here. We had been making tremendous progress, from where we started. Things were going better and better and hopes were high. I just haven't told him of the recent deterioration of the situation, hoping that things would turn around, or I could arrange a room or something, before my husband gets here for the holidays. He will not tolerate the present situation.

    Now, with the slow return (with a paycheck) to heavy pot smoking, and the difficulty in taking care of himself, that's proving harder and harder to realize. Everyone advertising for a roommate wants someone clean, responsible, and usually non-smoking. He is non of the above. The only thing positive I can report is that he has improved tremendously mentallly, (due to getting off the meds and on the niacin)and even got a job, which he is still managing, but not much more than that. I feel like a mom with a little kid, that I have to get off to school every morning. And who comes home for lunch. No progress with anything else.

    I have tried putting my foot down, but I would have to have him forcibly removed, and then we are back to square one again. He would lose his job. All of it for nothing! And he truly can't understand what the problem is. He is going to his job everyday, not bothering anyone......that's his mindset.

    Hi Kuya, Nurdl, Emily. Yes, I definitely needed a good cry. Something I will do almost anything (especially drinking) to avoid. Don't know why. You are all also right about the sugar. It goes against everything I believe and usually practice, but I, too, have been downing a large amount of chocolate to avoid the booze. Big mistake. If only I could let myself cry. Don't know why I can't just let myself do it. It makes me feel weak and ashamed.
    AF since 12/2/12
    http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

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      Newbies Nest

      We wish you would not feel weak and ashamed. It's just an emotional release and you will feel so much more clear headed and capable. You are handling do much. Sending love and strength to you.
      ~nurdl
      :notes:
      we are human beings with alcohol problems not alcoholics with problems caused by drinking

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        Newbies Nest

        Thanks Nurdl,
        I'm so sorry to burden everyone with my troubles, but I feel so much better and less alone to get it all off my chest. Thank you all for listening. Crying makes me feel so weak and afraid, like it proves I'm not strong enough to handle stuff.
        AF since 12/2/12
        http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

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          Newbies Nest

          Good morning Nesters,

          Kuya, I'm not smacking anyone today ~ it's a holiday here :H

          Nurdl, I sure hope you are having a great time!

          almost free, I just read your posts & first thing that came to mind is - that poor woman is going to stress herself right into a heart attack!
          Enough is enough with your son. Let him hit bottom, whatever that is because you cannot go on forever holding him up. I'm very sorry about your situation but it is what is is.

          I will say no more but to wish everyone a happy, safe & AF Thanksgiving day!
          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            Newbies Nest

            Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Wishing positive, sober thoughts for my nest buddies today.

            Dottie and almost free - I'm sending you a virtual hug. Stay strong, and above all, stay sober. :l

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              Newbies Nest

              Cat, don't forget Roll Call! I didn't see you yesterday and my heart sunk. That goes for all of you!

              Be Good and Happy Thanksgiving,
              -Fin
              Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
              Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

              Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

              Go forward boldly and unafraid

              Comment


                Newbies Nest

                Hi everyone,

                At Fin's insistence (actually, thank you for caring!) I'll be off to rollcall. But first, early morning thoughts.

                Almost Free, my heart breaks for you. I won't give you advice, as my son is just nine and I haven't faced any of these terrible choices. But I will chime in that a good cry is natural, and BRAVE. You are expressing emotions, not burying them.

                WE ARE NOT SUPERHEROES.
                WE ARE NOT SUPERHEROES.
                WE ARE NOT SUPERHEROES.

                Can you internalize that? Accept, accept, accept what you don't control, then make a plan. Sounds like AL recovery, right? It's probably the recipe for dealing with all of life's crises.

                I've got a turkey swimming in a salty bath, and am lying in bed drinking coffee. Have a mentioned how much I love my bed since going AF? Peace and rest, not passing out and insomnia. Good coffee, to o.

                Light note. I'm taking zumba classes as part of my exercise. Very funny being a 40+ white woman trying to do the dances. Love the bollywood she throws in. Anyway, I'm reconnecting with my hips.

                CAT:h
                "It is easier to maintain than to start from the bottom again. I can't go back there." Byrdie

                AF since Oct 2, 2012

                Comment


                  Newbies Nest

                  kuya;1415415 wrote: Forgive me if I have said this to you before, but chocolate blew my last quit. Within two weeks I was eating two chocolate bars in bed EVERY night. I was frantic if I didn't have them (and prior to quitting I never touched sweets at all). The sugar replaced alcohol and I did not allow myself proper food cos I was paranoid that I would gain weight eating all that chocolate. On the night I drank I had only eaten two pieces of toast and a few potatoe crisps ALL day.....thinking back ....what the f**k was I doing?!?!

                  This time I EAT...and I eat well, no sugar except fruit and yoghurt .......even got it in my
                  signature as a constant reminder.

                  We are only exercising the same wisdom from years ago when alcoholics were given three solid meals a day to help their recovery.

                  I also reckon there are more women alcoholics today because of the pressure to stay thin. I think the brain learns that the only way we will willingly take calories is as alcohol.
                  BAM....addiction
                  Kuya,

                  nail on the head once again.

                  AK
                  AF since 1st Sep 2012
                  NF since 1st Sep 2012

                  If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Afternoon all,

                    Going to a friends for dinner today. Got 2 pies yesterday and am going to make green bean casserole in a few minutes. Should be a bid crowd at her house so that will be a nice change.

                    I am thankful for everyone here for all the sharing and support.
                    Hope you all have a wonderful day!!!
                    Dottie
                    Dottie

                    Newbie's Nest

                    Tool Box
                    ____________
                    AF 9.1.2013

                    Comment


                      Newbies Nest

                      kuya;1415415 wrote: Forgive me if I have said this to you before, but chocolate blew my last quit. Within two weeks I was eating two chocolate bars in bed EVERY night. I was frantic if I didn't have them (and prior to quitting I never touched sweets at all). The sugar replaced alcohol and I did not allow myself proper food cos I was paranoid that I would gain weight eating all that chocolate. On the night I drank I had only eaten two pieces of toast and a few potatoe crisps ALL day.....thinking back ....what the f**k was I doing?!?!

                      This time I EAT...and I eat well, no sugar except fruit and yoghurt .......even got it in my
                      signature as a constant reminder.

                      We are only exercising the same wisdom from years ago when alcoholics were given three solid meals a day to help their recovery.

                      I also reckon there are more women alcoholics today because of the pressure to stay thin. I think the brain learns that the only way we will willingly take calories is as alcohol.
                      BAM....addiction
                      Thanks for this one. I can now see how I don't really 'deserve' those two LARGE cookies I just ate in place of my lunch. The sugar is getting in with the same old AL reasons.

                      I'm now going to eat the lunch I so carefully planned and try and get this under control.

                      CANTOO and WILLTOO get out of this F&*%ING CYCLE!
                      AF Since July 27, 2012:jumpin:


                      "Don?t be satisfied with the norm if you want more. It?s okay to want to achieve special results. The world needs folks who dream and achieve big things. Never give up."



                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FS...e_gdata_player

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Today is a day to find something to be thankful for even if you feel like garbola! I'm waking up every morning like I have a hangover. What's that all about? I feel shaky, weak, nauseated and like I didn't stop drinking. Must be something going on I haven't figured out yet. Regardless, I am making a TG dinner and will be thankful. Get well soon, Kuya. Those sneaky little bugs are everywhere here this time of year.

                        I hope all of you are able to forget about some pressures today and just enjoy something in the day.

                        Love,

                        Slay
                        Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Today's encouragement

                          ?Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...?

                          Ralph Waldo Emerson


                          *Sounds like some people need this one today after dealing with family.
                          Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                          Comment


                            Newbies Nest

                            I'm thankful for the opportunity to have the first AF thanksgiving in 20 years! Didn't think it was possible but I am so glad to find this site w people sharing their experiences, learning about options out there, and finding a solution that really has worked for me...
                            Alcoholic (or Ally)

                            "Only a fool knows everything.
                            A wise man knows how little he knows."

                            Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

                            Comment


                              Newbies Nest

                              Happy Thanksgiving to all those across the water. Hope you're all having a nice day.

                              Day 8 here. Oh gosh, the exhaustion today. I felt like I was severely hungover by early afternoon. Going to stick with it. The weekend looms ahead, going to be the toughest time. I've enquired about early morning Yoga on Sunday morning as this will hopefully encourage me to get an early night Saturday AF.

                              Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Slaythefear;1415589 wrote: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...”

                                Ralph Waldo Emerson
                                .

                                This is AWESOME, thank you Slay.

                                Hi to Allan, my dear friend and quit buddy. You know I worry when I ain't seen you in a while so thanks for looking in. Glad you are happy and sober.

                                ALMOST FREE..... You HAVE to try and find the source of your inability to cry. We all know people (women, usually ) who cry at the drop of a hat ...... They have learnt from childhood to use tears as a weapon or defense sometimes and this is not the crying I am talking about.

                                You owe yourself tears of sadness, alcoholism is a very sad condition......perfectly healthy human beings tearing themselves and those around them apart and shortening their lives. In addition to this you have a son choosing self destruction and you are powerless to stop him.

                                This is sad and deserves tears.

                                I understand why you can't let them flow, because I had the same problem. The difference is I now know WHY.....and finding the why is vital IMHO. So I will tell you my story.

                                Unsurprisingly it stems from childhood......

                                I was fostered from birth and the foster parents I had from age 2-4 were very cruel and physically abusive. They had 4 children of their own and we ALL shared a bunk bed. Two on the top, THREE on the bottom.
                                As you can guess the children of these cruel people had already learned to be cruel so, as the youngest and the outsider, they used to kick me out of bed. I have a clear memory of being 2 years old, sitting freezing and shivering on the floor whilst stuffing my bedclothes in my mouth to stifle my sobbing.
                                You see I knew I would be beaten if I made noise and woke up the parents, I have vivid memories of being beaten and locked in the understairs cupboard, so I stuffed down my tears and this trauma stayed with me for life.

                                Only recently have I released this pain, I had the intellectual memory but it had to be released. I also had to forgive these people.

                                Now, when it is appropriate, I can allow myself some tears, without it overwhelming me as I had always feared.

                                Find the source ALMOST
                                ......and you will find the cure. :h

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