Newbies Nest

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1417422 wrote: That is great Lola. Keep it up. P90x and insanity are very tough programmes so I imagine you are one tough cookie. However, sore bum, sore legs, sore arms... feel kind of good the following day don?t they?

I myself set a goal to lose 12 pounds by Christmas and happy to report I have already achieved that goal, thanks to running. We have an annual London Virgin marathon taking place in April and I am hoping to participate. Fingers crosses.

ALLAN

12 lbs? Whoa. That's awesome. I'm down 5 lbs fat pounds and my percentage body fat (measured in hydrostatic water tank after 6 weeks) dropped 2 full percentage points without losing any lean muscle. In fact, lean muscle increased by a 10th of a percent!

That P90x program is a lot like the CrossFit methodology to fitness - "constantly varying, high intensity, functional movements". Both will get you wicked strong. I'm gunning for another 9 lbs off the fat lbs and then bringing the lean muscle mass up 5 lbs. That's a good goal for a supreme Grand Canyon level fitness and it's only possible having given up the dreaded AL!

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hi, everyone:
I'm ashamed to say I found another addiction this thanksgiving break. Spent 4 days watching every episode of glee on Netflix. Watched everyChris colfer interview on YouTube. I am obsessed w that witty funny kid!!! I do have have that obsessive personality thing. I get obsessed w strange stuff for awhile then go onto another obsession. But alcohol obsession was definitely the longest and I hope I beat that. It's so weird.

I don't know if you guys do that too? when I get passionate about stuff I just get too much into it. Like I bought 6 huge jars of l glut and dozens bottles of kudzu! I know I probably have bipolar or OCD or both. Just wonders if the disorder is what caused my drinking problem to begin w.

Still doing well, but not taking glut or kudzu as regularly. My shakes are better, less frequent, less severe. Liver feels better. Not much alcohol cravings. Wonders since I got rid if the withdrawal symptoms, that I'm finally over my obsession w alcohol?

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
I have been off work for over a week and don't feel like I have had any real time to myself.
I am off at the end of the year so hopefully dad will be settled and I can get some ME time.
I miss my exercise and just not worrying or thinking about what to do next with him.
Gal at the place said he did OK overnight so that is good...
Sounds like the nest is doing well and I am so glad you are all here.
Dottie

[moni]

Newbies Nest

Finished my first lot of assignments this evening. Will finally get a few evenings to chill out and watch rubbish tv etc. Need to ensure I stay focused though as they kept me distracted and my mind off drink.
Day 12 done now.. onto Day 13 and then my 2 weeks.

Well done all on the fitness. I've to get my ass in gear now this week. Time to lose some of the midriff!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I am a newby once more

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi to Moni.....good work, two weeks is a huge milestone, all the alcohol gone and a new habit forming. The next two weeks felt kinda flat then hyper, good day then bad day, sleeping very broken......tis your brain rewiring, don't worry, don't panic.....breathe


Hi Jenniech.....sorry it's a restart but not surprising, that storm and it's consequences were too much eh?

Good that you are straight back on the horse, so to speak.......took me eight months to get it back together. Buckle up cowboy and welcome back

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Chilly here in my portion of the nest, snow predicted for tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be much......

Glad to hear so many people are taking charge of their health & fitness
If Granny Lav can do it then so can everyone else :H :H

Welcome back Jenni - what's your plan for success?

Wishing a safe & warm night in the nest for all.
Lav

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!

Well, I now know why I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor. He is retiring. How sad. He is the only doctor that knows my history. He has thrown in his gloves over Obamacare. Oh well! Medicine is changing. The old timers are not happy with the new ways. Now I get to start all over with a new doctor. UGH!!!! My doctor knew me so well, he'd order tests or try things I had researched as he knew I had more time to know my own body. You establish a trust over the years. The new doctor gave me a list of therapist in this area and said choose one and call. Oh boy! Yep, things have changed. It's like Russian Roulette. Ok, just voicing a little frustration after finding out I've lost my long time doc. It's not easy finding one that understands you are your best advocate.

Kuya, some of the things I post are my own ramblings and others are things I find searching google. That was a google find. I try to read something positive daily...mind food. After reading it, I decided to pull out my Christmas tree and cookie cutters to work on this week. I won't be home this Christmas and my husband will be out of the country, so I wasn't going to put one up. After the read I said take the time and enjoy every minute of it. If we can't eat all the cookies, I'll give them to someone who will and I'll enjoy the tree while I'm here and the fun of decorating it. Every day we need to spend those deposits and enjoy the fact that we have them to spend. It really is in our mindset. BTW, I have a craving to see Nine Pounds again. Get the Kleenix out.:upset:

Lav, I took a look at your natural supplement. It's in the back of my mind for now. After the new year, I'm hoping to have a psychologist to help me make some medication changes or discuss options and have someone to check in with. I'm on Lexapro like you were. It's giving me grief keeping my weight where I want it. I have to starve myself and workout to maintain my slender self. From what I've been told, Lexapro has that effect. As far as being numb, that has been a welcomed relief up to recently. Without it I feel things in the extreme. It's intense. Lately though, I've been thinking my fatigue and craving for the buzz may be from the numbing effect. I was grateful to have the relief from extreme emotions and depression, but now I feel like I want a better solution. It's a bit frightening to change things after having had such deep depression though. We'll see where I'm at after Christmas. Sometimes there are too many factors involved to make a reasoned choice. It will take time to break them all apart and hopefully, I can find a competent therapist/psychologist. I had some blood work done today. Step one in progress...

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Allan - I'm always glad to hear how great you are doing...how's the job? I was curious about insanity - but the previews I've seen have scared me off with the amount of squats and jumping. I can handle some of it in P90X but not sure about the amount in insanity. Already my one nearly 50 yr old knee makes some pretty funky noises during squats - so I'm taking it as a warning to not get too crazy...or insane, I guess. Fin - no doubt you are going to be in phenomenal shape for that trip!

Ally- I still do get a little obsessed about certain things - but I will tell you that during the first - probably 8 months or so, I got really obsessed about one thing after another. At first spending too much time reading....or painting stuff...or organizing....etc...

sheesh guys...I seriously am having trouble keeping my eyes open....will check in in the AM.

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Night, nesters.

Some final thoughts. Thanks Kuya and Slay - the dream insights are inspiring, and I love the push to really seize the days. I am definitely living that, and it is night and day to the old life. Tonight, after a frenzied sequence of dinner chores, homework help and packing for my trip, my son read me a book. Just quiet time, him and me. I was awake and present for it. The thought went screaming through my psyche - I will never regret a night spent sober. In that moment, another saying became personal.

I wish I had made this decision when he was born. I didn't. I need to let go of that past, but right here, right now, it still haunts me. Yet I am the mom he deserves now, and I can see it in his eyes all the time. I hope that is enough?

You guys have inspired me in another way. I truly realize through your stories that I will always be his mom, not just until he turns 18. That is when I left my mom (we had a pretty tough relationship, and 30 years later, still do). So I have felt this clock ticking on my time with him. But we have such good bedrock to build on. Lav, I hope I'm helping take care of the grandkids someday. Another good reason to stay healthy!

:l to all of you.

Cat

[hitting40]

Newbies Nest

day 2

Good morning everyone - survived last night and was in bed early. Had another chat with the hubby about our drinking and was wondering why it didnt bother him as much as it did me, he said it does but i always find he just says well we will be good this week, but for me i need to be good full stop. So i decided in my mind that let him have a few drinks at the weekend if he likes but i am going to say no. I was lying in my bed last night imagining being in a social situation and saying " i don't drink" and it felt great to be able to say it. My sleep was a bit all over the place but that's to be expected with all the rubbish in my system so i can just going to ride it out. The one thing i learned this time around is that i have to keep checking in here or i can go into a bit of denial and think i am ok, sure everyone is drinking - its all over facebook, everyone saying they are chilling out with a glass of wine. But i have to remind myself that they probably stop at 3 glasses - where i wait until i pass out having drunk 2 bottles!! not normal right?? so i am up fresh this morning and heading to a parent teacher meeting for my daughter, a bit tired from a rough night sleep but sober!! life is good!:l

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hitting 40..well done on your day 2..you are def in the right place for help advice and support :goodjob:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

hitting40;1417603 wrote: Good morning everyone - survived last night and was in bed early. Had another chat with the hubby about our drinking and was wondering why it didnt bother him as much as it did me, he said it does but i always find he just says well we will be good this week, but for me i need to be good full stop. So i decided in my mind that let him have a few drinks at the weekend if he likes but i am going to say no. I was lying in my bed last night imagining being in a social situation and saying " i don't drink" and it felt great to be able to say it. My sleep was a bit all over the place but that's to be expected with all the rubbish in my system so i can just going to ride it out. The one thing i learned this time around is that i have to keep checking in here or i can go into a bit of denial and think i am ok, sure everyone is drinking - its all over facebook, everyone saying they are chilling out with a glass of wine. But i have to remind myself that they probably stop at 3 glasses - where i wait until i pass out having drunk 2 bottles!! not normal right?? so i am up fresh this morning and heading to a parent teacher meeting for my daughter, a bit tired from a rough night sleep but sober!! life is good!:l

What strikes me about this is what you say about checking in here, and talking 'out there'.

I have neglected most relationships, except family , since I got sober. I can't imagine how many hours I have spent on MWO. :H

This IS my addiction for now, living sober, thinking sober, talking sober, reading sober, BEING SOBER.

If you met me you would not, for one moment, think that I had drunk half a bottle of vodka daily for 23 years. I look fine, have a good career, a nice home, a good business, lovely kids and am a naturally happy person. Yet I honestly doubt I would have kept ANY of these things for more than another year.....tops, if I continued.

I was a high functioning alcoholic, we are numerous and invisible.

I was quietly drinking myself to death, no dramas, just a quiet suicide.

I can only talk and think negatively about alcohol for now, and probably forever. I will moderate my tone for the REAL world, but here and now I HATE the stuff.

I NEED to hate it.........like a violent partner, it was KILLING me.

Heck I can't even tolerate reading much talk of moderating ATM, it makes me wonder uuummmmmm, could I ?

I KNOW I can't ..... I am an alcoholic, and alcoholics CAN'T drink. Period!

I have been to parties, since sober, where folks have been drinking and I have enjoyed myself and come home happy, and somewhat relieved. But I couldnt be around people talking about drinking in a positive way every day. I am a strong person, but I am not that strong.

I will be out and about soon, no doubt. After twelve weeks sober I am feeling stronger, and my friends will say.......'where have YOU been? You look well!' And then they will get on with their lives as before. But I am hoping MY life will NEVER be the same again, because I will be sober, for the first time in nearly a quarter century!

One day, the 'old timers' promise me, I will be indifferent to alcohol, but until then this place IS my life.....and will, hopefully save my life.

For those of you with fewer years of alcohol abuse let me tell you, those years went by soooo very, very fast. I can never get that time back, I will ALWAYS regret drinking, the harm to my kids emotionally and myself physically.

If any of this helps even ONE of you save YOUR years, then some of this waste of life will have served a purpose.

[EmbracingIt]

Newbies Nest

Brand New (Help?)

It is 2:30 a.m. and 46 year old female me is banging around on the internet, while my 5 year old child sleeps, wishing I hadn't drank, again, tonight. This has been going on, and growing, for years and years. I feel I am in a battle I am losing. It feels ridiculous. Why can't I just do what I want to do, which is not drink or better yet drink occassionally and moderately. Why don't I act like the person, that on some level, I believe I am - decent, not alcoholic. I have been to AA briefly, at times, but found that too seemed to (with the way my warped brain works) prompt me to drink even more. It is like I am obsessed with not drinking and, therefore, naturally (HA!), I drink. Would love some support. I would try AA again, but I literally do not have time or the opportunity - and I am extremely allergic to things that show up in group settings (perfumes, etc.).

P.S. I have no idea what I am doing with respect to being in an online communication place like this. I could use help there too, though it is not as critical. How do you folks get pictures to put with your "names"?

I would love to find a buddy or two to help me get through evenings without alcohol. I feel I would very much benefit from a cheerleader/friend who could just talk me through staying on track with what I really want to do with my evenings. The temptation to escape is just too strong by the time early evening rolls around...

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

EmbracingIt;1417661 wrote: It is 2:30 a.m. and 46 year old female me is banging around on the internet, while my 5 year old child sleeps, wishing I hadn't drank, again, tonight. This has been going on, and growing, for years and years. I feel I am in a battle I am losing. It feels ridiculous. Why can't I just do what I want to do, which is not drink or better yet drink occassionally and moderately. Why don't I act like the person, that on some level, I believe I am - decent, not alcoholic. I have been to AA briefly, at times, but found that too seemed to (with the way my warped brain works) prompt me to drink even more. It is like I am obsessed with not drinking and, therefore, naturally (HA!), I drink. Would love some support. I would try AA again, but I literally do not have time or the opportunity - and I am extremely allergic to things that show up in group settings (perfumes, etc.).

P.S. I have no idea what I am doing with respect to being in an online communication place like this. I could use help there too, though it is not as critical. How do you folks get pictures to put with your "names"?

I would love to find a buddy or two to help me get through evenings without alcohol. I feel I would very much benefit from a cheerleader/friend who could just talk me through staying on track with what I really want to do with my evenings. The temptation to escape is just too strong by the time early evening rolls around...

Hi and welcome to MWO, you are in the newbies nest which is the best place if you want to quit.
I was instantly struck by your reference to being allergic to perfume, this fits with you having an allergy to alcohol. Have you read Joan Larsen's book 'seven weeks to sobriety' ?