Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan, I know what you mean, that is my dream, too, that I blow it because someone slips me something....but these are just dreams, maybe Kuya can 'splain' them for us. That would be the ONLY way I would drink. If I ever take a sip of something and sense there is booze in it, I'm spittin it right back in the glass I don't care who is looking! I've worked too hard to get where I am to have some boob trick me! (I think they are out there, too). So I'm with you on that dream. Have you had any dreams where you resisted drinking or are the only one sober? Those are nice, they reinforce to me that this is taking root down in the white meat part of my brain.

MinStar, GREAT to see you! And congratualtions on your YEAR!!! I am so proud of you! Do you have any words for the New Newbies? I always ask for a speech as to what you have learned. So inspirational, look at the time of year YOU started? It CAN be done!! I'm so glad you checked in with us!!!

Nurdl, yes we will show the marathoners that we've still got what it takes! Dang show offs! ehehehe.....I'm in if you are!!

Fin, hang tough, don't forget your major award at 30 days!!! Keep your eyes on the prize! Also remember that you will hit highs and lows from now til then....just keep fixed on the horizon...we won't let you fall in if you reach out for a hand!!! Dig your heels in and DO NOT GIVE IN, no matter what and no matter who! AL will NOT rob you of ONE MORE DAY of your life! EAT something, a lot of something! You've only got a couple hours and you will be back on calm waters....I know you can do it.

Great day in the nest today. I bought 10 lottery tickets...one for hubs and 9 for me! eheheheh....wish me luck!! XXOO, Byrdie

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hope you win byrdie!

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

I'm dusting off my "trainers" Byrdie because I'm going to be racing you to the lottery office to claim that prize. Lol!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Thanks as always, Byrd. Fighting hard and will make it through to Roll Call tomorrow. 30 days or bust!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Evening all. Hang tough and don't forget to bring your bats or swords!


Kuya, I ordered the Depression Free Naturally book by Joan Larsen today. I bet it touches on self medicating with alcohol. Anyway, I just found the two books for review on google books if anyone wants to take a look at them. I haven't yet, as I just found them. Should have done this before I ordered the book. lol

Seven Weeks to Sobriety:

Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through ... - Joan Mathews Larsen - Google Books

Depression Free Naturally:

Depression-Free, Naturally: 7 Weeks to Eliminating Anxiety, Despair, Fatigue ... - Joan Mathews Larson - Google Books


Looks like I'll be getting my wallet back out soon. From what I hear in the reviews there are a ton of supplements and diet changes. I better go eat something sickening sweet before I read.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Slaythefear;1418020 wrote: Evening all. Hang tough and don't forget to bring your bats or swords!


Kuya, I ordered the Depression Free Naturally book by Joan Larsen today. I bet it touches on self medicating with alcohol. Anyway, I just found the two books for review on google books if anyone wants to take a look at them. I haven't yet, as I just found them. Should have done this before I ordered the book. lol

Seven Weeks to Sobriety:

Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through ... - Joan Mathews Larsen - Google Books

Depression Free Naturally:

Depression-Free, Naturally: 7 Weeks to Eliminating Anxiety, Despair, Fatigue ... - Joan Mathews Larson - Google Books


Looks like I'll be getting my wallet back out soon. From what I hear in the reviews there are a ton of supplements and diet changes. I better go eat something sickening sweet before I read.

You won't regret testing the books. I still refer to it and she was a pioneer. I started on supplements years ago and whilst I was still drinking they kept me alive and relatively well.
MWO supps are all based on Joan's groundbreaking work, but are more restricted to alcohol only.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

hey all
it has taken me some time to read up on all the recent posts!!
Kuya - you hit the nail on the head. Sandy came rolling in. We lost power for two weeks. No phone, no internet, no TV, no heat, no lights, children complaining, bored, angry, uncomfortable. Could not get to an AA meeting so I said FUCK IT. (excuse language, i never swear but somehow, this is the most fitting way to explain)
I came up with all the boring typical excuses. So stupid.
Then I started the cycle all over again. Feeling like crap because I drank the night before, so then opening a bottle of wine and drinking to feel better. How stupid is THAT? Because I was hungover, I drank to feel better. OMG, it is such a vicious cycle!! Terrible sleep, headaches, cloudy thinking, weight gain....all for an hour of feeling a buzz.
IN all honesty, I also became very disillusioned by AA. I felt people were being judgmental and making snarky comments about me indirectly. They probably weren't but that is what it felt like. I gave AA the old college try....went EVERY DAY for about 80 days and never really connected. MWO helps me so much more. So friends, I am back for the long haul.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey thanks Byrd :hug:
I can't say I would be here without this site and all the lovely people. What can I say? I made sure I came on this site, read and got support all the time at the beginning. I read Jason Vale- and though a lot of it was repetitive and common sense- it made sense.

My biggest factor has been my now 22mth daughter. I shudder and feel sick to think how drunk I got some nights whilst she was sleeping. I was a functional alcoholic like the best of them. I don't want her growing up with a mother who is drunk. I don't want her to think drinking is acceptable. Husband does still drink as do nearly all my friends and family. It has now become common accepting knowledge that I don't drink. I used to say I was going through a detox (yoga) and then said it felt good so kept going, then turned to a vow to do it for a year and now I just say it does not sit well with me and I feel awful after just a glass. Even the taste of it I hate!

It sounds like it was easy from what I have written but that is far from the truth. I gave up just a few weeks before I Christmas. Wild normally be drinking from 9/10 am until I passed out. Any excuse to drink- and of course hiding the real amount I was drinking was the norm. I took one day at a time and one milestone at a time. I know I started AF at the beginning of November but had a girls spa day and that started me again, I got back up and felt so ashamed after doing 14 days to fall off the wagon. The second time I went on I did a year (Barr a little blip).

In the beginning, I looked for alternatives to drink- some fizzy water, cordial, juice etc. I now don't think about it when I got to a pub. But then I had to have a drink or two in my mind so I wouldn't stumble and automatically order a wine. I also got myself busy during the witching hour. I worke day day so I wasn't sitting idle at the time most weak. Nowadays I don't think of AL at all. My weakness now is chocolate:-/ I read somewhere that is the sugar craving- but a year on still? Not so sure it is :-)

So the blip- ashamed to say by peer pressure was during the annual girls trip. I managed a few glasses of wine the last few nights and could still see the evil devil again, sitting on my shoulder asking me where the next drink was coming from. Highly aware that the next bottle had been finished and heir wasn't any more in the apartment. I knew then, as perhaps I have always known, that I can not moderate and no matter how long I go AF I will not be able to. That's me..

So I feel I have babbled on- the road is still hard- I'm looking at a long holiday to Perth in a week with family. I know drinking or wine tasting will at the very least be on the cards. I am worried, but am trying to not pressurise or stress myself. One thing I have learnt is to trust myself. I am able to do this, I can do this, I am doing this and I will continue to do so. My girl and hence my life to be here for her, and those around me are too important to let AL take hold. I am proud to have done a year but know the road has only just started.

I know this road would not be so travelled by my feet if it weren't for the old timers from here. I can not thank them enough for giving me he courage, strength and support. It has given me my girl back and I love every moment I am with her.

I hope some of this helps the newbies.....be it to give them hope, ideas or plain recognition that they are not alone :-)

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1418028 wrote: hey all
it has taken me some time to read up on all the recent posts!!
Kuya - you hit the nail on the head. Sandy came rolling in. We lost power for two weeks. No phone, no internet, no TV, no heat, no lights, children complaining, bored, angry, uncomfortable. Could not get to an AA meeting so I said FUCK IT. (excuse language, i never swear but somehow, this is the most fitting way to explain)
I came up with all the boring typical excuses. So stupid.
Then I started the cycle all over again. Feeling like crap because I drank the night before, so then opening a bottle of wine and drinking to feel better. How stupid is THAT? Because I was hungover, I drank to feel better. OMG, it is such a vicious cycle!! Terrible sleep, headaches, cloudy thinking, weight gain....all for an hour of feeling a buzz.
IN all honesty, I also became very disillusioned by AA. I felt people were being judgmental and making snarky comments about me indirectly. They probably weren't but that is what it felt like. I gave AA the old college try....went EVERY DAY for about 80 days and never really connected. MWO helps me so much more. So friends, I am back for the long haul.

Sometimes circumstances conspire to kick us in the nuts just when we are at our most vulnerable. Oh well, that is life.
It took me 8 months to get back on the wagon, during which time I drank MORE. You are back and committed. Be aware though that the first couple of weeks may seem HARDER.......this flies in the face of logic but understand it and you will be OK

When you stopped you deprived your GABA receptors and they increased to try and get pleasure. When you drank did you notice you needed more, and didn't get the same buzz? That is why and that is why this disease is progressive.

Because you are newly abstinent your brain remembers all too clearly how painful quitting was. A constant survival strategy amongst ALL living beings is to AVOID PAIN..... Even a flower bends away from cold.

SO LAST time you FEARED it would be hard, it was, but not excessively. However your primitive alcoholic brain ONLY remembers the pain and will fight tooth and claw NOT to go through THAT again. Your primitive brain doesnt know about future, it only remebers what hurt the last time, alcohol gives a pleasure reward, no alcohol causes psychic pain. This confuses some people cos they think that because they know HOW to do it that it will be easier the second time.

Try to start getting your GABA hits from other stuff, walking, painting, cooking, dancing, singing, sex, surfing the Internet, playing with kids, BEING a kid , reading, Etc

No matter how much we commend having more AF days against STAYING AF , repeat slips and 'moderating' when you are truly alcoholic makes each quit harder.

Harsh but true.

Having MWO makes climbing back on the wagon easier, but hold onto THIS quit for dear life if you can. Knowledge is power and please let this arm you.

As Byrdie says.....no matter what, no matter who

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Minstar....... I covered the theory, you did the reality AWESOME timing.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

MinStar, thank you so much for that post. It took a lot of hard work to get that year and I couldn't be any more proud! You will be fine on your vacation as long as you do not let the option enter your mind. No means no here, too! AL is NOT an option for us. You are a shining example of success. Thank you for coming back and sharing that...stick around! A victory that is hard-fought is all the more appreciated. Awesome job!! B

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks kuya
I have heard the more you quit, the harder it is.....I will definitely keep it in the forefront of my mind.....I feel ok right now. Made it through the witching hour....staying at work a bit longer than usual helps and then doing all the chores at home that I don't want to do but force myself anyway....like the dishes (usually husband's job) getting outfit together for work tomorrow, putting away laundry, etc.
Once I have eaten, the cravings die WAY DOWN...looking forward to watching some good TV tonight (relatively speaking....since most TV stinks these days)
and then on to day 3.....but, wait, I am not really going to count days this time as religiously as last time. It makes me think about AL way too much.
I am just going to take each day as it comes and I look forward to getting healthier and feeling better....AF life is so worthwhile...so I am willing to fight for it!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ally, when you are in Vegas, say hello to my $200 worth of nickels I left in the slot machine on the first row right end at Aladin's. Yes, losing $200 in 5 cent increments took a bit of doing, but by golly I hung in there and did it. Wahh...wish I could see their little shining faces again....
Kuya, where were you when I was quitting?? Dang, you are helpful!! Knowing there's real science behind all this stuff is cool. Maybe I shoulda read one of the many books that have been suggested over the years! B

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

yes Byrd! Kuya is the light...
curling up with a nice hot cup of camomile tea and watching a show.....loving it!
Goodnight my AF friends

[billy_D]

Newbies Nest

Post #1. Here goes nothing. I've drank everyday for 18 years, Minus maybe 40 days mixed in randomly. Went 11 days in a row once, 9 days another time, the rest were 1 and two day stints. I know I need some serious help which is how I found MYO. Been browsing through the threads and decided to dip my toe in the pool. It is amazing how so "alike" we all are and you all have provided a sliver of hope to kick it.

Like all of you I have a complicated story and "reasons" for drinking and will share as I get acclimated to this wonderful site. I look forward to the family like feel here as I am afraid to talk with my real life family. They all know of course my problem with alcohol, but my abuse flies under the radar.

I have so much to live for, a 15 year old son, a wonderful girlfriend, great family (minus communication regarding my alcohol disease), and a chance to salvage my business that went down the tubes.

There we go, "pat self on back", post #1.

Billy