Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Tree, I was just about to sign out when I heard your note come in...Day 2 is huge in our world...I am proud of you for that! It is HARD!!! I did not get the hypno CD's but I have heard people swear by them on here....I looked at them when I first started out but got confused and didn't persue it. Whether you will be AF or try moderating is everyone's personal decision...modding didn't work for me and god knows I tried. My opinion is if you have found your way to a sight to help with AL abuse you can't rewire that....some would dispute me on that, but I found that AF is the only way for me. Someone will be along to give you advice on the CD's, but I wanted to say a big congrats on those 2 days...they take more courage than anything! Well done. B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Can't go to bed until I know for sure that I've won the Poweball lottery

Tree, I bought & 'religiously' used the Original Set' of CDs. I have been totally abstinent because I made the decision to be abstinent. I did want to learn to moderate when I first joined MWO but changed my mind by the time I reached 30 AF days. At that point I just knew moderation would be impossible for me. It never worked in the past for me so why would it work now?
Keep working on your 30 days then see how you feel. I highly recommend the CDs!

[Andrew_CN]

Newbies Nest

Well, last night I managed to avoid finishing the entire bottle of V, left it at 1/3 full, so for me that is an accomplishment in tapering down.

It is now 1:45 in the afternoon and so far I have managed not to have any yet That is a little bit of a victory for me. My hands are shaking, feeling queasy and sweating a bit (the usual stuff)...

It's like I'm in a staring contest with that damn bottle. I'm looking at it right now and it's staring me back as if to say 'come on, ya know you want to' and I'm just staring back at it saying '**** you, no way, I'll be back in 15 minutes...' So I guess I'm working in 15 minutes increments just to show I have a little control. There is no other AL in the house, so they can't gang up on me either.

And I know the cravings are actually short lived - I actually ate lunch today with just water to wash it down for the first time in a long, long time. Felt good.

I will continue to try to keep moderating down as I planned and I although I that I won't be able to go completely without today, if I can stare that b*stard bottle down until 6pm..then I know that when it comes to my first AF day coming ...I will have the strength to do it longer. In a battle of wills, I'm not going to lose my self-respect to a bottle...I'm stronger that.

I have enjoyed reading todays posts - again gained inspiration from those who have achieved their milestones. I liked what was posted earlier saying that some milestones may not seem much to others but to an alcoholic a day 2 milestone is just as much to be celebrated and to be proud of as any other. Congratulations to all those who are on day 2, day 22 or 222, I am inspired and hopeful and want to be able to be there as well one day!

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys,

Holey Moley, I am happy to be back.

First to Tree, I love the CDs, bought the original set before I knew any different; will purchase the abstinence ones soon. I do not, did not want to be an abstainer. It's just realistic for me. Cause I do not want to be a drunk.

Thanks for the hats, sweet Byrdie. F**ing blood, sweat and tears. Some days fine, some days LIKE TODAY. On a business trip, total crap all day with the job, my job is only going to get more unpleasant, and to date I have been too conflicted and tired to go look for a new one. I'm trapped for a while, so I SO WANTED a glass/bottle of wine. And it pissed me off not to have it. So I compensated by sending heated emails to my colleagues. Great. Somewhere around the fourth email I figured out why I am angry, and that permanent email venting is not a good thing. Oh well. I'm walking a fine line between not giving a shite about calling them on their crap (I'm the CFO, and my job is to enforce good contracting and scalable offers, which no one wants to do at year-end) and caring about referrals when I leave this place and trying not to offend. I've just had it, and can't stomach any more. And tonight I came so close to drinking. Then came online, and saw my hats. And your well wishes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I miss my kid. He makes me feel better.

It's good to hear the caution about antidepressants. Slay, I get life-risking too when I go off. Dangerous around knives, cars, any means to harm myself and others. I'm on Celexa. I'd like to be off it, but will not tackle this year, and not without a doctor who will embrace natural replacements and dietary solutions (i.e. not my GP).

Newbies, I'm not usually so crabby. Another reaons MWO is so great - you can skip through a post if need be!:spam:

Cat

[Andrew_CN]

Newbies Nest

well all...further to my note earlier today..it is now 430 pm and that damn bottle and I are still in a staring contest...but I have gone this far and I am damned if am going to give in now until at least 6pm! I'm shaking and sweating, but not giving in now...!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Andrew_CN;1418683 wrote: well all...further to my note earlier today..it is now 430 pm and that damn bottle and I are still in a staring contest...but I have gone this far and I am damned if am going to give in now until at least 6pm! I'm shaking and sweating, but not giving in now...!

Andrew.....holding on....good. I think you said tomorrow to quit ? I shared your V love ..... Now it has gone from my life. Hold strong mate and it will soon be gone from yours.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1418663 wrote: Hi Guys,

Holey Moley, I am happy to be back.

First to Tree, I love the CDs, bought the original set before I knew any different; will purchase the abstinence ones soon. I do not, did not want to be an abstainer. It's just realistic for me. Cause I do not want to be a drunk.

Thanks for the hats, sweet Byrdie. F**ing blood, sweat and tears. Some days fine, some days LIKE TODAY. On a business trip, total crap all day with the job, my job is only going to get more unpleasant, and to date I have been too conflicted and tired to go look for a new one. I'm trapped for a while, so I SO WANTED a glass/bottle of wine. And it pissed me off not to have it. So I compensated by sending heated emails to my colleagues. Great. Somewhere around the fourth email I figured out why I am angry, and that permanent email venting is not a good thing. Oh well. I'm walking a fine line between not giving a shite about calling them on their crap (I'm the CFO, and my job is to enforce good contracting and scalable offers, which no one wants to do at year-end) and caring about referrals when I leave this place and trying not to offend. I've just had it, and can't stomach any more. And tonight I came so close to drinking. Then came online, and saw my hats. And your well wishes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I miss my kid. He makes me feel better.

It's good to hear the caution about antidepressants. Slay, I get life-risking too when I go off. Dangerous around knives, cars, any means to harm myself and others. I'm on Celexa. I'd like to be off it, but will not tackle this year, and not without a doctor who will embrace natural replacements and dietary solutions (i.e. not my GP).

Newbies, I'm not usually so crabby. Another reaons MWO is so great - you can skip through a post if need be!:spam:

Cat

Cat ..... The moods are just the brain readjusting. I am only a few weeks ahead of you and it is leveling out now. Tetchy moments only, not bad days. And DEFINITELY no desire to drink ..... Not even a moment.

As far as the depression..... A lot of it is caused by the booze so that will go too

[Andrew_CN]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Kuya..

My target date is actually Tuesday for my first AF day, but I am gunning and preparing for it. Tuesday only because my g/f will be away this weekend...and I want to make sure someone is around and with me on first couple of days of AF just in case.

But it is now 5:30 pm and I know I can outstare that damn bottle for at least another half hour! So I feel a little victory coming up. We are going out to dinner tonight and although I know I will have something to drink before leaving, I am also determined to stop the 'I'll just have one beer with dinner' routine...tonight is the night I am going to try breaking that habit.

The hardest for me will be when we go to our weekly Japanese restaurant where we always have had Sake...they bring it to us without asking as soon as we sit down. Next time we go there, I am going to have the strength to say 'no thanks'...My g/f is not a big drinker, but still it will be a big step for me.

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to Cat and Star - 2 months is awesome!

Hoping it'll be me in approximately 6 weeks as I ebb closer to 2 weeks AF - Day 12 today!

Feeling quite good today. Really noticing the new found clear-headedness over the past few days and how calm I am compared to the way things were when I was drinking/hungover. On reflection, I can see I had been living my life totally anxiety-ridden and stressed to the max and now I can see it was the alcohol that was bloody causing it, rather than me thinking I had a justifiable excuse to drink as it was helping get rid of those feelings! I guess that excuse should've run out after 20 years mind you ha.

But, hey, here I am - finally seeing it for what it was - a manipulative poison!!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Andrew_CN;1418690 wrote: Thanks Kuya..

My target date is actually Tuesday for my first AF day, but I am gunning and preparing for it. Tuesday only because my g/f will be away this weekend...and I want to make sure someone is around and with me on first couple of days of AF just in case.

But it is now 5:30 pm and I know I can outstare that damn bottle for at least another half hour! So I feel a little victory coming up. We are going out to dinner tonight and although I know I will have something to drink before leaving, I am also determined to stop the 'I'll just have one beer with dinner' routine...tonight is the night I am going to try breaking that habit.

The hardest for me will be when we go to our weekly Japanese restaurant where we always have had Sake...they bring it to us without asking as soon as we sit down. Next time we go there, I am going to have the strength to say 'no thanks'...My g/f is not a big drinker, but still it will be a big step for me.

A man with a PLAN, actually loads of plans......good on yer, I will be here cheering you every step of the way!

And just a suggestion....why not try a different restaurant for a while til you are stronger? Not worth the risk IMO. Habits are habits

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

JingleJo;1418697 wrote: Congrats to Cat and Star - 2 months is awesome!

Hoping it'll be me in approximately 6 weeks as I ebb closer to 2 weeks AF - Day 12 today!

Feeling quite good today. Really noticing the new found clear-headedness over the past few days and how calm I am compared to the way things were when I was drinking/hungover. On reflection, I can see I had been living my life totally anxiety-ridden and stressed to the max and now I can see it was the alcohol that was bloody causing it, rather than me thinking I had a justifiable excuse to drink as it was helping get rid of those feelings! I guess that excuse should've run out after 20 years mind you ha.

But, hey, here I am - finally seeing it for what it was - a manipulative poison!!

Isn't it fecking annoying realizing it was THE CAUSE not the cure...... Bugger, bugger, bugger ....... Oh well at least we found out, lots NEVER do.

P.s. you are going to be at 6 weeks before you can turn round, your attitude is spot on :h

[Andrew_CN]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Kuya..appreciate it!

I won the staring contest until a few minutes ago...but I have to go out to dinner in 45 minutes AND I only have that 1/3 bottle left AND I don't have any other AL in the house AND I am going to do my best not to have anything at dinner. I feel happy that I outstared that fecking bottle for as long as I did! Victory comes in small steps....

Now I pray that I can make sure I follow my plan and the next 1L bottle I buy will last until Mon night and will be my last...when I finish it I plan a ceremonial smashing of it in the bin...along with the burning of some incense in oranges (hey, I am buddhist and in China after all) for luck!

Thanks for your support everyone!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Have a great BIG MEAL ....it will help

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1418710 wrote: Isn't it fecking annoying realizing it was THE CAUSE not the cure...... Bugger, bugger, bugger ....... Oh well at least we found out, lots NEVER do.

P.s. you are going to be at 6 weeks before you can turn round, your attitude is spot on :h

Indeed! Can't believe I blamed everything else, but the bottle.

Hope so re 6 weeks.

Thanks x

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Bright & very chilly here today
Apparently I did not win the lottery & I know it wasn't Byrdie either, or nurdl.....
Congrats to the two big winners!

Andrew, sticking to your plan is key to your success. I wish you the best

Cat, hope you are feeling more settled today. Life would be so much easier IF we could just get everyone else to do what we wanted them to do - huh? Took me too many years to understand that I just cannot control the actions of others

Wishing everyone another successful AF day! I have another busy day ahead with no thoughts of AL pestering me!

Lav