Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

good morning....I hopped on the computer awhile ago, meaning to check in, but ended up shopping instead. :-) Anything to get me out of actually going into a store -:H

Actually I've been feeling a little under the weather the past couple of days. Nothing major - headache - tired - just not myself. If there's one downside to this sober life, it's this...a couple years ago, if I felt like this, it would have been a good day! Now, I'm so damn used to feeling good - when I don't, I'm about useless.

So, I DO have to drag myself to the grocery store but probably not much else...

Will talk to you all later.

lola

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow...what a striking night in the nest...from my twig, I see big things happening all over.
Cat, isn't it amazing the last gasp AL will try and pull on us? Strong, 'got to have it' pulls! But what you did last night will go a long way to strengthening those 'NO' muscles. I am so proud of you...All of the skills are in place that you will need for the future. Well done.

Jingle, TA-DA! You just can't see it when you are in the cloud of it, but once you get out it's like, WTH???? AL WAS the problem all along! What was I thinking??? THIS, my dear, is the power of addiction, and you are breaking free of it! A clear head and better sleeping are almost worth the price of admission alone! I am so happy for you...it's hard to see the light in the beginning, but it slowly starts shining thru.

Andrew, you deserve some sort of award for staring down that dam bottle. :wow3: This is the mind game that you will play those first 3 AF days...but you went a long way last night in setting your strategy and sticking to it. Outfoxed by a bottle? No way!! That is the attiutde it takes to win this thing. It is a game of well-played moves. It takes a plan of attack, and you are setting yourself up for success. I am so proud of what you did, not only in your self control, but also by coming here...which leads me to the 4th striking feature of last night...

Kuya. 12 weeks sober...:day5::day5::day5: She doesn't put her date down there, so it's hard to keep up with her...but sometimes she slips, and that's when the prize patrol pounces. It does a nest mom proud of see someone who came into the nest 3 months ago just like the rest of us...and help someone else up. In my humble opinion, that is the true spirit of recovery. Getting help, and giving it back. As we ALL know too well, nobody else thinks like we do. Kuya, seeing you help the folks last night brought a tear to me....you are awesome!

I think I won $4 in the lottery...which considering the $20 I spent ain't so hot. It was fun to dream for a bit. Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day! Byrdie

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

HOW RUDE!! Neither Byrdie, Lav, nor Lola won the Lottery :dang:

Did ANY nester win? Wasn't sure if we had anyone here from Missouri or Arizona or not, but still hoping for you!

Cat, so sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday :l I had a couple myself last week, but am feeling better now.

Andrew and Tree- you are doing great :goodjob: and I think you are learning something that one of our regulars (thanks K9) likes to say: She says she finally quit drinking when it became easier NOT to drink than it was to drink. I think of that often. Ya know, drinking and having to pretend you're sober all the time, hiding it all, trying to pretend you remember stuff, scrounging up the money to buy it- that is hard work, and it wears you out! Honestly, Andrew- I don't see how you beat that little bottle- just listening to you talk about it had me nervous! Well great job to both of you and here's to an easier day today!

Mornin' to all :l and I guess I had better get to work, since it looks like I won't see any profit from the lottery winnings :argh:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Holy Cow, just checked the roll call and ALLAN has 90 days, too! On behalf of the NN, please accept this small token of a BIG job! :day5::day5::day5: Did you ever think back in July/ August when you came in that you'd now be giving ADVICE on how to quit drinking? Me, either....life is just funny that way! I'm glad we all found this place! Congrats on 3 BIG months!! B

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Cross post, Byrdie! So, you did win!!! Congrats- and are you sure that was YOUR ticket and not DH's ticket that won? Afterall, it was HIS BDAY!

Kuya- Congrats on 12 Weeks!!!! You are so AWESOME and such an asset to the nest. We all learn so much from you! :grouptrophy:

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

And Allan- 90 Days! Woot!!!:wave:

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Cat, my wing girl, thinking of you and hoping today finds you better than yesterday. Hang touch and again, draw strength and confidence from your number of AF days when feeling down. It's such a major accomplishment...especially since we were once on the same day. I SO regret having caved on day 28 on my last go'round. I will not do that again. Anyway, hang in there!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Today's encouragement

13 Tips for Dealing with a Really Lousy Day.



We?ve all had terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. A bad work evaluation, a disappointing grade, a potential crush who turns out to be interested in someone else, a fight with your mother, a worrisome report from a doctor, a broken resolution?lousy days take many forms.

Here are some strategies I use for coping with a lousy day:

***1. Resist the urge to ?treat? yourself. Often, the things we choose as ?treats? aren?t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, ?I?ll feel better after I have a few beers?a pint of ice cream?a cigarette?a new pair of jeans,? ask yourself ? will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse.*** This one is talking to US!!!

2. Do something nice for someone else. ?Do good, feel good? ? this really works. Be selfless, if only for selfish reasons. A friend going through a horrible period told me that she was practically addicted to doing good deeds; that was the only thing that made her feel better.

3. Distract yourself. When my older daughter was born, she had to be in Neonatal Intensive Care for a week. I spent every hour at the hospital, until my husband dragged me away to go to an afternoon movie. I didn?t want to go, but afterward, I realized that I was much better able to cope with the situation after having had a bit of relief. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break, or I often re-read beloved classics of children?s literature.

4. Seek inner peace through outer order. Soothe yourself by tackling a messy closet, an untidy desk, or crowded countertops. The sense of tangible progress, control, and orderliness can be a comfort. This always works for me ? and fortunately, my family is messy enough that I always have plenty of therapeutic clutter at hand.

5. Tell yourself, ?Well, at least I?? Get some things accomplished. Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or played with your kids, or walked the dog, or read your children a story, or recycled.

6. Exercise is an extremely effective mood booster ? but be careful of exercise that allows you to ruminate. For example, if I go for a walk when I?m upset about something, I often end up feeling worse, because the walk provides me with uninterrupted time in which to dwell obsessively on my troubles.

7. Stay in contact. When you?re having a lousy day, it?s tempting to retreat into isolation. Studies show, though, that contact with other people boosts mood. So try to see or talk to people, especially people you?re close to.

8. It?s a clich?, but things really will look brighter in the morning. Go to bed early and start the next day anew. Also, sleep deprivation puts a drag on mood in the best of circumstances, so a little extra sleep will do you good.

9. Remind yourself of your other identities. If you feel like a loser at work, send out a blast email to engage with college friends. If you think members of the PTA are mad at you, don?t miss the spinning class where everyone knows and likes you.

10. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: ?Will this matter in a month? In a year?? I recently came across a note I?d written to myself years ago, that said ?TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!? I dimly remember the panic I felt about dealing with taxes that year; but it?s all lost and forgotten now.

11. Write it down. When something horrible is consuming my mind, I find that if I write up a paragraph or two about the situation, I get immense relief.

12. Be grateful. Remind yourself that a lousy day isn?t a catastrophic day. Be grateful that you?re still on the ?lousy? spectrum. Probably, things could be worse.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to all you soldiers who started with me. YOU all rock!!!! This nest is getting strong. Kuya, you are such a love to give so much of your time here. It warms my heart. You are becoming the next Lav, Byrdie, Lola along with Star. (Didn't mean to miss anyone. Been busy lately.)

Welcome to all the newbies and listen to these marching soldiers. They've been there and they are beating the beast to a pulp!

Cat, it's a trip to hell...maybe worse! I tried a different sleep aid last night. YIKES! Made me very sleepy/groggy but then sent me into panic attacks during the night. It's not easy trying to make the changes. I don't know that I will be able to do it, but I'll give it a good try. My system is VERY sensitive to things, so it's always a real trip when I try to change things up. I've had some scary episodes, so usually when I find something that works even only part way without negative outcomes, I tend to not want to rock the boat, but I've been on this routine a long time, so I'm ready to at least attempt some rewiring with nutritional options such as amino acids and nutrients that work with them. Last night was not fun, though. Could have been worse. Congrats on your AF time. You are doing great!


Love,

Slay
:l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Slay I like that list of 13. It's funny how many of these are things that we have talked about here - or that we might do without even knowing why. Not only #1 either!

Byrdie always says put yourself in the service of others (bake a cake. :-)

Distraction....oh yeah

Outer order...clean a closet....

Focus on the positives

Exercise

I should do more of #7....

Go to bed early - how many times do we say that?

9 is good, too and one I need to remember

Write it down....this helped me immensely when dealing with a loved one's death - in early sobriety. The family dynamics were CRAZY - and it really helped me so much to let go of some of the stress by writing it down...

I love these things all combined into a neat little list. Thanks.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Had a great dinner out last night...ate way too much...will pay for that today.
Sun is out and I am trying to not dwell on all the dad stuff....
Congrats to all the folks with milestone dates...WooHoo....
Dottie

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hi, everyone!

Andrew! You're very dedicated to this! You've come a long way! Keep it up, man!

Jingle: you are sounding more positive and happy! It's a blessing to see that we don't have to live w alcohol in our lives.

I'm still super concerned about my health. I stopped drinking mainly because I thought I had signs of liver failure: mainly the extreme thirst and liver pain. Liver pain is less now. But the extreme thirst is still there, so maybe I have diabetes. I know I just need to get my blood work done but I'm so needle phobic. Started exercising too. Going to try to eat healthier and lose 30 pounds.

Sorry to those who didn't win the lottery.... Maybe next time!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Lolab, yes pretty much spot on with the advice given here...sound advice. I've noted your comments about isolating before. We have some similarities. I can become a bonified recluse. lol We problem drinkers often share commonalities.

Brydie is right. Giving creates a sense of pleasure for me. I have found though you have to be careful that it doesn't become a vulnerability that someone latches onto and tries to suck the life out of you. It's a wonderful thing to help those who truly appreciate it and not take it for granted. It becomes a blessing. We feel useful and not victimized.

Writing things down...big time helper for us both! It really helps me to let things go even if only temporarily. If it's a schedule of things I feel overwhelmed with, I feel the paper is holding them while I work on one at a time. If it's my feelings that I'm overwhelmed with, it allows me to purge.

Cleaning up the clutter...I couldn't live any other way. It really does help and keeps life less chaotic.


I do think the walk can help though. I was very angry one day, so I went for a walk and walked hard. It was like stumping out the anger. Plus, if you can do it in a nature area, it brings a sense of peace and calm, imo. It's all about the focus with that one.

Great list.

Supercrew posted this in another thread. I love it as I love quotes in the wisdom of their neat little package.

Good post Dixon!

Being that one of the most motivational people in the world died yesterday, Zig Zigler, I would like to add some of my favorite quotes that he coined that I think will help any one who is looking for hope:

10) ?Remember that failure is an event, not a person.?

9) ?You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.?

8 ) ?People often say motivation doesn?t last. Neither does bathing?that?s why we recommend it daily.?

7) ?There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.?

6) ?People don?t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.?

5) ?Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.?

4) ?If you go looking for a friend, you?re going to find they?re scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you?ll find them everywhere.?

3) ?A goal properly set is halfway reached.?

2) ?Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.?

1) ?If you can dream it, you can achieve it.?

Although number 5 is about sales I think it also pertains to any decision that a person makes.

If you can focus on any one of these quotes I am sure "hope" will follow.


Ok, I better get my behind in gear. I have ham bone soup cooking that needs it's fixings added and work to do.

Have a GREAT day, everyone!!!

:l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Slay...remarkable list. Thank you for posting that. We all do have commonalities. Each of those action items bleeds into the next, so great to see them all together. It is 90% of half a PLAN! (I am so screwed up with that saying, thanks, MOM).
I've had several people comment to me about the vibe of the next at the moment...it IS a fantastic place...we really do have people at every stage of his/her quit. In 30 years, we will look back and say we all started around the same time!! It is a privilidge to be traveling with you all! B

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everybody !

Allan and I share the same quit date and I am sure he will agree that, hard though it is, it is nowhere near as hard as drinking.

After 60 days the time has flown and, after worrying at how slow it goes, now time seems to pass so fast.

So keep on trucking my friends .....