Newbies Nest

[CanToo]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

I'm not often here but I know one of your regulars and I just wanted to throw my support out for KUYA!

On her Friday she's made it to 90 AF days! CONGRATS KUYA! Thank You for your support and friendship over these past months.

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Lav, maybe it is too cold for poor Stella. Maybe she needs to go to the "shed". lease:

Hey, I was just hacked by Stella (flower). Oh she is becoming quite a problem. :durn:

Hee Hee.

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Slaythefear;1418807 wrote:
Cat, it's a trip to hell...maybe worse! I tried a different sleep aid last night. YIKES! Made me very sleepy/groggy but then sent me into panic attacks during the night. It's not easy trying to make the changes. I don't know that I will be able to do it, but I'll give it a good try. My system is VERY sensitive to things, so it's always a real trip when I try to change things up. I've had some scary episodes, so usually when I find something that works even only part way without negative outcomes, I tend to not want to rock the boat, but I've been on this routine a long time, so I'm ready to at least attempt some rewiring with nutritional options such as amino acids and nutrients that work with them. Last night was not fun, though. Could have been worse. Congrats on your AF time. You are doing great!


Love,

Slay
:l

Slay, I have the same experience - small changes bring wild swings and scary places. So I'm very cautious, too. My sleep cocktail is my anti-depressant, magnesium and Calm Forte. It's been amazingly effective for sleep. My depression is fine; my anxiety is really troubling. I'm working on yoga, meditation and exercise to treat that. Maybe I'll hang tight here. At least for the next few sobriety months.

Cat

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hey, congratulations Kuya and Allan!!

:band2:

Here you go, the band for dancing. Don't these guys look like they are having fun?

Continue to blaze the trail for us - your fires are burning bright!

Cat

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

A better day

Hi guys,

Thank you for the well wishes. Parts of my job are just tough - my job description includes "maintaining the controls environment" - Lav, I have to do it even if it goes against the grain. But today was another day.

On my business trip, working through a contentious and painful negotiation for 9 hours today (we are planning a merger). By early afternoon, the jokes about martinis had started. Physically, I was sore, exhausted, wrung out from the negotiations, and so wanted a martini.

You can imagine the evening - cocktails at the bar, wine served for the table at a small dinner gathering. I abstained while everyone else drank. Yes, Allan, I noticed who drank little, who drank a lot. You know what saved me? In the elevator, I thought amidst my self pity, "I don't drink. I have to figure out how I get through this." From that point on, it was just navigating another new experience. Not easy, but not optional.

Kuya's perspective seems liberating. If I know longer want it, I'm no longer denying myself. Do you train yourself into that shift, or does it happen naturally?

Fin, thanks for the note - miss you, my wing man. You have run up mountains. You can do this. Stay with me.

Cat

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1419220 wrote: Hey, congratulations Kuya and Allan!!

:band2:

Here you go, the band for dancing. Don't these guys look like they are having fun?

Continue to blaze the trail for us - your fires are burning bright!

Cat

Cat,

Thank you very much.

Btw I love your quote of Jillian Michaels. She is my hero.

A K

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

You're most welcome Allan.

Another favorite Jillian quote - "Most people don't even show up for their own lives."

She was an inspiration and driver toward sobriety with this one, crushing sentence. I use her 30 minute routines on busy, rainy days.

Night, guys. See you in the nest tomorrow.

Cat

[Andrew_CN]

Newbies Nest

Thanks to all for helping me through my stare down with the bottle yesterday. I did manage to wait until 6:30 pm before I had to get ready for dinner. Another of my goals was not to drink anything at dinner...and I Didn't!

Very difficult though. When my g/f asked if I wanted a beer with dinner...I kinda curled my toes, made a fist, and sort of grunted 'no'...that was hard. She looked at me curiously for a moment, then just smiled..and we stuck with water.

Hope she didn't notice me mumbling under my breath for rest of dinner 'I can do it' "I can do it'... and my shaking...which is a bit more obvious when you are using chopsticks instead of knife and fork!

On the other hand once we did get home, I did finish the bottle but we went to bed early, and although I had the usual wake up at 4am with sweats etc..it wasn't quite as bad as it usually is. Though I had some strange dreams indeed!

Have had a rollercoaster ride so far today. It is 3:30 pm for me. I did get a new bottle, and did open it at noon...did have one drink..then thought 'what the hell am I doing?' I plonked bottle down and I'm staring it down again this afternoon. I won yesterday, so I can win today. My target is now 6:30 pm.

Cutting down is difficult (like we don't all know that)...but I am still sticking to my plan...

Thanks everyone for your support

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

And so you are winning the battle, Andrew, a few more days and you can be rid of this monkey for good!
Glad you are already feeling the benefit

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to everyone ..keep at it...you WILL win!!

[emily]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1419145 wrote: Emily, you mentioned needing to immerse yourself in the misery of remembering drinking - I don't do that because it seems like self-abuse. I focus on all of the positives, all I have gained since I quit Develop an attitude of gratitude, forget beating yourself up every day!

Thanks Lav but I do both, I think, for me, it's easy to forget the bad side and I start to flirt again with the idea of a glass of chilled wine. I need to remember the pain just now.

But, in the last 30 days I have changed my lifestyle and, thank god, because I do look to the positives that I have created since stopping drinking. Maybe immersion in the misery sounds dramatic, lol but that's me, love a bit of drama. Not self abusing in the slightest, the total opposite, I just need to make sure I don't conveniently forget how bad things had gotten.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

emily;1419282 wrote: Thanks Lav but I do both, I think, for me, it's easy to forget the bad side and I start to flirt again with the idea of a glass of chilled wine. I need to remember the pain just now.

But, in the last 30 days I have changed my lifestyle and, thank god, because I do look to the positives that I have created since stopping drinking. Maybe immersion in the misery sounds dramatic, lol but that's me, love a bit of drama. Not self abusing in the slightest, the total opposite, I just need to make sure I don't conveniently forget how bad things had gotten.

I have to remind myself too. I was a 'good girl' drunk so very few horror stories to keep me scared ....... So I NEED to keep some of the painful stuff alive as a deterrent

[emily]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1419107 wrote: Emily. I think it's normal for us to still have cravings for a WHILE after the 30 days. You are lucky that your first 30 days went by so easily. I still have cravings when I see others drinking ( like on TV) or even listen to stories about it. I just try to limit those opportunities. You are correct in thinking about realizing how much better your sober life is trying not to forget all the rotten parts about drinkIng. Also be sure and be mindful of triggers such as hunger, anger, loneliness, boredom or just being tired.
You are doing great, Emily! Keep up the good work!

Thank you Starfish

Recently done an advanced search at previous posts from me - is that a bit like googling yourself, ha ha.

Anyways, talk about repeating a pattern, just keep getting off then back on that bloody roller coaster. I think, this time though, even though my posts, in the past, were all full of how I finally accepted my drink problem, I really deep down didn't.

I'm under no illusions at all now that one will not be enough and any AL will mean a lost day the next day and my days are precious.

Also, didn't get, in the past just how powerful watching a program such as housewifes, you know, beautiful, successful women that always seem to have a glass in their hand with no negative consequences really has an effect on me. I am wise enough now to know that this too is an illusion but it's still a trigger. A similar trigger in the past, which didn't immediately start me drinking again but was obviously festering away in my sub conscious was reading autobiographies of famous people that would talk about have a drink in their books, again, no negative consequences, they just appear normal!

Funnily enough, that same 'celebrity' has recently announced that he's stopped drinking completely, so again, they painted a nice picture but they were obviously in a place of torment too. Wonder how many housewifes are secretly tanking it in the privacy of their own homes and when the cameras aren't rolling.

Dodgy buggers these triggers

p.s. I keep ediiting this text!!! I think I've been quite a naive person and used to always think that what people put out there was real, wow, how silly because what I was putting out there was the opposite of what people thought so anther lesson learnt, shame I didn't learn all this in my twenties, would have saved myself a hell of a lot of heart ache

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

Well done to everyone reaching milestones :-)

Today is my 13th day AF. Seen a few folk on here say it seemed to be a lucky day for some. I'm feeling pretty fab today, so maybe there is truth to that theory ;-)

Was sitting chatting to my other half this morning about being able to 'look back' to the way things were with me for so many years. Basically caught in a horrific vicious circle - drinking, hungover and climbing the walls, swearing I never wanted to feel like that again, feeling anxiety-ridden the next day, craving, drinking... blah blah blah.

Wow, it's pretty damn scary realising just how much of a grip it had on me for so many years and how many days in a single week were either wasted being drunk, being hungover, thinking of alcohol or generally feeling shitty due to not drinking. How the f**k did that happen?!

Have a great day and weekend all xxx

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

It just creeps up on you JJ, then you forget what normal is

Day 13 is a great day.....well done