Newbies Nest

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys,

Everyone here tonight, hope the mocktails and band were amazing. I snoozed in my mobile bed in the corner! (decided I like that image). I had two hours of sleep last night due to work and flight schedule. I snooooozzzzzzed for 4 hours tonight before my sweet boy asked again if I would cut up the mango for him. I dragged myself out of bed for a quick pasta meal, put him to bed, and now I'm back.

Everyone, wherever you are on the journey, I'm glad you're here. I was always a wallflower, and love being a welcome part of this party. You know, we've got some artsy types here (RC), some comedians (Nanette, Patrick), some musicians (Fin and ???), some chefs (Cat, Byrdie, and I bet loads more), some existentialists (Slay and when she visits, Cantoo), some front row cheerleaders (Star, Lav, K9), somes friends with the busy social calendars but who always drop by (Lola, Ally, Dottie) and one kick ass bouncer (Kuya, you know that's you.) Find your spot, raise your sparkling water, and cheer the night! We start another wonderful AF weekend.

:band2:

:alf:


:dancin:


:rockband: inkele:

:chef:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Alcoholic;1419814 wrote: Eve:
I hear what you are saying.

Again, I am not advocating drinking 1-2 drinks once awhile, but merely that it's a good idea to try to climb right back on the wagon if you do fail. Not to feel like a failure, not to be ashamed, but jut get back on and try again. And if someone does crave that drink, which we all do at one point another, use kudzu and l glut or Antabuse or whatever out there to help support your goal. I think that's basically all our goals, to stop drinking and to help each other quit, and if they have trouble w their cravings, suggest ways to reduce cravings and damage control if the willpower fails.


Just to make sure I make myself clear so all newbies and others can hear: do not drink. Alcohol is bad for you. It's bad for the body and mind. It can cause problems w your family and friends. It hurts every organ in your body. It can lead to loss of jobs, dignity, and drivers license.

Allie,

I see where you are trying to be helpful but you may be suffering from my own shortcoming of sometimes assuming that everyone feels as I do.

When you mention cravings you are very wrong to make the assumption that WE ALL get them.

FYI I drank half a bottle of vodka daily for 20+ years and was literally killing myself. I had HUNDREDS of day 1,2,3 but never longer.

When i finally feared for my life and quit I felt crap for 5 days but ONLY had cravings on day 5.
Since then I have had days when I felt low, days when I was very irritable, days when I was very happy, days when I was bored, days when I was anxious about money, days when I was angry ...... But I never had another day when I CRAVED alcohol.

I had fleeting thoughts, hell I still have fleeting thoughts, but I have fleeting thoughts on lots of things I choose not to act on.

Everytime I had a feeling that I used to drink away I stopped, looked at it and ALWAYS, BUT ALWAYS recognized I was either HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY OR TIRED.

For me it was usually hungry.....so I ate......20 minutes later everything was fine.

I also changed my mind..... I view alcohol as a poison that I drank because I believed it was normal. It is NOT 'normal' just common. The fact that it is still widely practiced does not change the realization that I have been duped, just like I was duped with nicotine.

I am so sorry that you still have these cravings, but to assume that others will is to cause anxiety, self doubt and even outright fear when there may be absolutely no need.

The road to the nest is hard enough without people saying ' don't worry if you have a couple ' there is enough of that talk out in the world IMO.

Perhaps an extended AF period would help you reinterpret the 'cravings' as other feelings........they may be masking a different need.

All the best and keep trucking. :h

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Catbuddy;1419828 wrote: Hi guys,

Everyone here tonight, hope the mocktails and band were amazing. I snoozed in my mobile bed in the corner! (decided I like that image). I had two hours of sleep last night due to work and flight schedule. I snooooozzzzzzed for 4 hours tonight before my sweet boy asked again if I would cut up the mango for him. I dragged myself out of bed for a quick pasta meal, put him to bed, and now I'm back.

Everyone, wherever you are on the journey, I'm glad you're here. I was always a wallflower, and love being a welcome part of this party. You know, we've got some artsy types here (RC), some comedians (Nanette, Patrick), some musicians (Fin and ???), some chefs (Cat, Byrdie, and I bet loads more), some existentialists (Slay and when she visits, Cantoo), some front row cheerleaders (Star, Lav, K9), somes friends with the busy social calendars but who always drop by (Lola, Ally, Dottie) and one kick ass bouncer (Kuya, you know that's you.) Find your spot, raise your sparkling water, and cheer the night! We start another wonderful AF weekend.

:band2:

:alf:


:dancin:


:rockband: inkele:

:chef:

OMG Cat......you are tooooo funny

Well I just tried a post and it disappeared ...... My daughter and I have had the music up and dancing singing and acting the goat for hours.......this would NEVER have happened a few months ago when I was too tired to do anything ......except drink.

I am so grateful to have this time that she will remember

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Alcoholic;1419814 wrote:


Just to make sure I make myself clear so all newbies and others can hear: do not drink. Alcohol is bad for you. It's bad for the body and mind. It can cause problems w your family and friends. It hurts every organ in your body. It can lead to loss of jobs, dignity, and drivers license.

Hey Ally

Kuya and Eve have already given replies to which i agree. I just feel that although i think i get where you are at with AL, I for one don't find what you write above helpful knowing full well that you do imbibe - even if your imbibing is 1 or 2 glasses compared to 1 or 2 bottles as you say used to be your norm.

Please don't get me wrong, I know a number here who still imbibe, are trying to mod, can mod, or who are still drinking TRULY wanting to give it up. Period. "." But...

Just now, as someone who is putting themselves through a rough time with it - just putting it out there guys, some of you know, some of you now know - I find the above words hollow. Just now i need to believe what i read. And I find your writing "AL is bad for you. It's bad for your body and mind etc etc" while knowing you still drink, just seems a tad hypocritical. I don't buy it.

Just now (well not right now, it's only 9am and i'm still in me pit and i've NEVER desired a drink first thing in the marnin') I've been drinking and it's NOT GOOD. It's got a grip on me, it's like tentacles that are entwined around me and wont let me free. And who was that Arsey only a few weeks ago? Here he was, at 7 weeks, confident, funny, supportive (I hope) yada yada yada... yeah... well... there ye go for the love of whoever.

Realising I have put myself in this place, I am seeking words that help support my beliefs, that are like bricks to building faith in myself that i have the fecking attitude to go at it again.

The fact is, AL's got some positive qualities. If you can handle it. And just now, for whatever reason, I can't. Reckon most here are like me. That is why they are here. The fact also is AL's positives are not necessary. As Kuya says, we are duped into believing that it is ok, or right, to imbibe. Whenever we see someone drunk, we accept they are drunk "Oh, look, there's someone drunk. Whoopeedoo. Wowwee. so what. Now, back to what i was doing..." How very discerning of us. Yet if we saw someone out of their noggins on coke, smack, or some other illegal substance, we would a bit more critical, no? I think so. It's social constructivism on a global scale. We have been bred, effectively, to believe that AL is good. That heroin is bad. ACTUALLY, they are all born from natural substances that affect our otherwise normal way of being. If we don't need them, why fecking take them? For recreation? Fine. Go ahead. And if you can't handle it? If it has adverse effects upon you? Then... eh.... stop?

Ally, :l I don't mean to sound harsh, it's not my way, but as someone who IS struggling, I am, as I say, needing to find the words that help. I am, as I never was in my initial 7 weeks here, rolling around on the proverbial floor in agony with these AL tentacles. THEN i was a faux newbie. I got lucky, I found 7 weeks of sobriety. Great. But now? Now... NOW I am a real newbie.

As you were folks, sorry to butt in. Welcome all other newbies. I lurpak here a lot.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Rc,

I have followed most of your threads and have read a lot of your posts. I can definitely sense a different tone of your posts and it saddens me that a joyful person like you can be brought down by carbonated water with an alcohol content of under 5%.

I have been discussing this topic with some of the regulars. (not about you but rather alcohol in general) Why do some people stay sober and why do others get knocked down? I have had countless day 1s so what make this one special? I really don’t know the answer. However, from my experience and reading other success stories it seems that FEAR is a great motivator to stay sober. I am for one extremely scared of having even a drop of AL by mistake. I think the same fear keeps many of the regulars close to the Nest even years after they quit.

RC, go back to the beginning and find out what was the root of your initial success. Keep yourself AF for 30 days and then constantly remind yourself of how life threatening Alcohol really is.

You are an amazing person and your love for life is contagious. I wish there was something I could do to help you through this difficult time.

Best,

ALLAN

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Let me share why this this quit has been & will forever be my last quit............
I was so thoroughly tired of lying to myself & disappointing myself that I finally got to the point where I really didn't want to drink anymore!!!!!
I don't want AL anymore, AL is bad for ME, I don't want it anymore.
I am a happier, calmer & healthier person without AL in my life - end of story!!!!!!

Alcoholic, I respectively ask you to refrain from posting your drinking experiences here in the Nest. Please go post that in the Mod threads as we previously discussed. We need to help our newbies with as much positive reinforcement as we can muster up!

RC, please reconsider what you're doing. You were happier & quite positive when you were abstaining. Knowing how quickly the beast can sink it's claws into us is enough to keep me away from AL. NO THANKS, I DON'T DRINK is the mantra you need to repeat over & over until your subconscious really believes it - I rarely ever have a thought of drinking anymore. It takes time & consistent effort but it can be done. Please think about what you are doing:l

Greetings to everyone today & wishes for a terrific AF day!
Lav

[Alcoholic]

Newbies Nest

Hi, guys: since I've been asked not to return here, I won't be back to the NN. Good luck!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good day everyone.....I'm starting day one. I was a regular at MWO over the summer of 2008 and have returned for the courage to start my AF life. I will try and read some of the postings to gather the strength of resolve I will need. To say I'm scared of the withdrawal is an understatement....but you all know that from personal experience.
Have a great day everyone.....I'll be in and out of this site today when I get some time.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good to see you here New Day
Do you remember where the Tool box is? Get yourself a good plan & keep coming back here to share with us

Lav

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lavande....I will go look for the toolbox.....had forgotten about it.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

New Day! Welcome to the best possible place on Earth if you are serious about getting AL out of your life! We are here to help! If you were here in 2008, then you prolly know the nuts and bolts...BUT, please visit the Tool Box (link in my signature line below) there are 100's of tips and coping skills to help you in the first challenging days! Read back a couple weeks here in the NN and get to know us, we have folks in the first day or 2 and they can be your quit buddies! As you saw last night, there is always someone around to help you thru a tough patch! Is this your Day 1? If so, what happened yesterday to prompt you to begin? It must have been a doozy, cause it takes something like that to make us finally say...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I give up...AL, YOU win. Whatever it was...I betcha we've done/seen/heard of the same story. You are in very good company here.

You will see this in the Tool Box, but while I've got a minute...I believe I read on another thread that you have others in the house that drink. I had this also, my hubs is a moderate drinker. I found that I had to get his support even tho I didn't want to because I feared failing again. I didn't want to get all the AL out just in case I needed a safety net. I really didn't want to be accountable...just in case I flopped. Well, this is the Baggage Claim, and your bags have arrived. I found that I finally had to OWN this problem...and I needed a hand to kick it. GET ALL THE AL out of the house. I know you have prolly stopped reading by now...chalking me up as some sort of Kook. (Morty, can you believe this lady??? to be yelled into the other room). If they are truly moderate drinkers, it will not bother them to get it out. See, that's a sign...being without AL only bothers folks like us. If they will not get it out totally, maybe they can put it in the garage or out of your sight. OR better yet, tell them that the whole family should kick it out for health reasons, especially if there are kids in the house! Having AL in the house is the #1 cause of nesters falling. You don't have to tell them you are an ALK, just tell them you want to quit for a while...they don't have to know the secrets that we do. Surround yourself with things you love to do and EAT! If you like to bake, get some stuff on hand to fill the time you will now have. If you like to knit...get some cool yarns to play with. Whatever you LOVE to do...get it and have it on hand.

Keep yourself FULL! STAY hydrated. I mean FULL! Those first 3 days are grizzly, so set yourself up to succeed...keeping a full belly will help you do it. Don't worry about the fat and calories, you are offsetting them by not drinking. Eating is a relatively new concect to us hardcorers...at least for me, I wasn't eating so I could drink and not gain weight. There at the end, I was eating hardly any dinner, so I could drink myself to oblivion. EAT, EAT, EAT! Kuya will pistol whip me if I don't say, and try to make it healthy...(I didn't say pretzel M&M's did I?)

When you get a thought of drinking...make yourself think of something else. Name off your cousins, or say the names of the streets north of you, or the Pledge of Allegience...anything to get out of the mind loop (Problem=Drink!) You do not need a drink. Just ONE drink is NOT going to help you. Say to yourself, NO, HELL NO! AL will not take one more day of my life! Just as you would say to a spoiled child!! You are NOT getting your way this time! It is an adjustment, but you can do it.

Most of all, there is NOTHING to fear. It sounds scary...but it isn't. We live in the moment around here...and if you got thru the last 15 minutes, you can get thru the next. Post...post, post! Read, read, read! Getting it out of your head and on to this paper will help you! I drank for 25 years...every day.....if I can do it, I know you can, too! Glad you are with us!!! Byrdie

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!
First of all Cat - great post! I love how you included everyone and nailed their personalities. I love that you called me a comedian. :H

NewDay- Welcome back. I am fairly new here but old enough that I can welcome you back to the nest. Really when we are drinking we experience withdrawal everyday. Nauseau, shakes, headaches, unable to sleep because the bed is spinning :nutso: (putting one foot on the floor doesn't work, just saying) and shame and guilt. So when you you think of it that way, at least if you are AF withdrawal, you know that these feelings will subside sooner or later. Keep busy. My house has never been more tidy and I have never shoveled snow as much as I have this month. I used to knit, watch TV and drink. I haven't been knitting much. There are going to be some cold hands and necks this winter.

How much fun was it last night at our Newbie's Dance Party! It made me smile and even chuckle a couple times. Thank you for that. :banana:

[EmbracingIt]

Newbies Nest

Quick Check In

Sarting Day 3....

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

EmbracingIt;1420117 wrote: Sarting Day 3....

YAY You go girl/boy. We are here for you. :yougo:

What is your plan for today?

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady.....thanks for your suggestions and support. No, nothing dramatic happened last night for me to return here.....I've just been wanting to quit for awhile, and the kids and grandson are away for a week, so I had some time to myself last night and decided it would be good to start my AF while they are away. This way I can focus on myself instead of everyone else's needs. It gets crazy busy around here living with an 8 month old again! My daughter is extremely fortunate to have me as a live-in caregiver at a moments notice! I love spending time with him, but also seem to be doing the bulk of grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.....and it's exhausting.

So the next 5 days are for me to take care of me!....about time, right?!