Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone :l

So sorry I was (AGAIN) AWOL over the weekend. I had UNEXPECTED company over the weekend and they kept my hoppin'. On top of the company, I had my usual busy weekend work and Christmas preparations, so, to be honest, I did not have a spare minute to visit the nest :upset:

I have glanced thru some of the posts from over the weekend and feel very sorry that I was not there to help out. My heart was breaking over some of the struggles, but today, things are looking brighter again

I want to welcome AF back and wish you a belated Happy Birthday :l

R.C. Welcome back! We miss you terribly when you are away from the nest and are so happy to have you with us. You are doing great!

Dottie- Look at you :l You are sounding better than I have heard you sound in a while. I think this is YOUR TIME!

Good Morning Hugs to Byrdie, Lav, Lola, Nurdle, Cat, Kuya, Jinge Jo :l, Nanette, New Day, embracing, moni and all others visiting today.
I need to hop over to Roll Call and see what’s going on over there. Back later!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Min, check out the Tail between the legs thread for starters. And #2, and this is my laser guided bullet...STICK CLOSE TO US! I check in here religiously morning, noon and night...it keeps me honest. I can see that an awful lot of nesters who come in on Day 1 are nesters who have been here before! It is amazing how quickly AL will take us down. DO NOT GIVE IN! No matter what and no matter who!! Don't even smell AL!! It is the enemy and it is AT THE DOOR wanting to get in. If you stick close to us, you will be ok!!! DON'T FLIRT with the DEVIL! We are not Mother Theresa!! No sips, no tastes!! It's not worth it. If we could get right back up on the horse after a weekend binder, none of us would be here, but I see it every day that it takes a long time to recoup from a fall! Get those thoughts out of your head...concentrate on staying sober!!! Don't allow the other thoughts to take root!! You have done the right things all this time, so back to basics! Get all the AL out of your house! Surround yourself with things you like to do and eat! Set yourself up for success!!! You can do it! I have seen you in action! Stick close! B

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Oh, Minstar- we had a cross post! Please, please do not let that devil back in. Even a sip here and there. I had a three year abstinence back from 2005- 2008 and I let it all go to hell in a hand basket and it started with just one night (celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary) and it has taken me over 4 years to get back on track.

IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!

We are here to help you in any way we can. Please let us help you. You know all the great support and tools here and you know the right thing to do. That is why you asked for our advice.

Stick close please. I am afraid if you let yourself go over the holiday season you will have a hard time committing again.

xoxo, Star

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!
It's a beautiful Monday morning here in the states. Another day closer to Christmas so there's lots to do. It's so nice to wake up clear headed and feeling good. I can feel another AF day adding up to my string of days. I thought I might buy myself a charm or something that I could engrave with my quit date on it. That would make my commitment to me even more permanent. Just a thought. I hope you all are having a good day too. Keep checking back. There's lots of love and support to go around. Plenty of butt kicking and velcro from Lav and Byrd if you need a different approach :H
xoxo
~ nurdl

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

?There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.?
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss


How many drink because of these wounds? To live is to have wounds...some more severe than others.

Love,

Slay

Well wishes for a day of joy instead of despair.:l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

New Day;1421055 wrote: Sorry to have to report I'm on day 1 again. I had felt so strong yesterday and was doing all the right things. Come time to prepare dinner I poured myself a cranberry juice and soda and was content. Problem one was we were doing a steak BBQ which always called for wine (even for hubby who is not a big drinker). The shocker was when he came and poured himself a LARGE glass of wine....he never does that! When he realized I only had cranberry juice in my glass, he offered to give me his glass and he'd get another one. I said No, just pour me a small one and he did. Well it sat on the counter while I finished preparing dinner. (I haven't told hubby about my attempt to go AF, so it wasn't his fault.....only mine for not being brave enough to confide in him). So I drank the glass with dinner and topped it up once. This in itself is still a positive achievement for me.....(I'm trying to stay positive, and not get down on myself as I know that will only lead to giving up totally).
So even though I didn't drink to excess, I still have to start counting all over! I think I need to develop a secondary counting plan......where if I do cave, but limit the amount to what a normal person would do, I can still feel somewhat rewarded.
Has anyone done this......or does it just set me up for total failure?

Well, I'm going to be honest - while it IS important to not beat ourselves up when we choose to drink and it is so important to come right back and not stay away and hide - in my own experience and from what I have witnessed here, if someone still feels successful in limiting to what a "normal" person would do - they are bargaining. It's like the New Year's Resolution that gets broken on January 3rd....someone saying they will quit abusing their spouse and then when they do, again, they say - well, I do it less than I USED to so it's ok. I'm not so good at analogies so forgive me - I'm sure there are better ones.

I don't think you need to come here and feel beaten up and ashamed - Look to the positive! What did you learn from the experience? Maybe you can find the strength to tell your hubs that for whatever reason - you are not drinking or that you want a new tradition for steak night....I know, I've been there. I didn't tell mine at first - and he still doesn't know the extent of it - but he does know that I prefer to not have alcohol in the house. There's nothing wrong with saying I am on day 1 today and I am so much smarter than my last day 1! Day 1 isn't a shameful thing - it's a magnificent thing - to be starting something that has the potential to turn your life around.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lola, I agree...someone said it to me on my Upteenth day one.. and it hurt at the time...but so true. For an Alcoholic, ONE drink is too many. Day 1 is not the beginning of a Life Sentence...on the contrary...look at us all CELEBRATING milestone achievements!!! They all began with Day 1. Byrdie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi minstar - are you kind of subconsciously planning on drinking in Perth? It's so strange how many decisions get made in our heads without us even realizing it....

I DO think that new goals need to be set...and they might not be goals such as 30 days or 6 months or 1 year....they might be running a marathon...or just completing a 90 day workout regimen....or maybe not even closed ended goals like that....maybe just to learn something new. Life can get predictable sometimes...and if we're not growing and changing and making an effort to do new things, we can fall back into old habits. And I do remember how easily it can get predictable with a toddler. It was the most amazing time in my life - to have a little one - but you can definitely get to the point of craving a little something different.

I hope you're going to stay close this week - and contemplate this...it's not only helpful to you. We all need to learn from your honesty in admitting that your'e tempted. :l

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

New Day,

I have often wondered that same thing in counting my days. Sometimes i would only have 1 drink which is a huge accomplishment, but would put me back to Day 1. Looking forward to hearing what others have to say.

Right now, I am struggling with Day 1. First it was going to be the day after Thanksgiving, then Dec 1, then Monday. I am so ashamed to say that it is morning here and the best I can now do is Tuesday.....

Am going to stock up on supplements today. Need to go back and see if I can find a Kudzo formula that was recommended. I think it also had some other herbs, can't remember exactly.

Right now I feel sad, lonely and lost. But I have not lost my resolve to get AL out of my life.

Talk is cheap. Can't believe, once again.......tomorrow.....

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lolab for your thoughtful response. Yes, I was tempted not to return because I had not made it past day 2. Just hours away! It will be easier on the week nights because as I said, hubby doesn't normally drink. He will most certainly notice that I won't be having my wine with and after dinner......but he has no idea as to the amount I normally drink. I won't be telling him just yet. My daughters have both mentioned to me they are concerned about my daily habit, but hubby hasn't. I think he's of the mind if he says anything, I will then be on his case re his smoking. So he stays quiet. At some point it will have to be discussed, I realize that.

So, I've tucked my tail between my legs and returned to start day 1.

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Next. How about Now and not Tomorrow? What about not drinking today, pouring out what you may have in the cupboard or the fridge today? It sounds like you want someone to kick you in the butt and make the decision for you. I may be wrong and maybe should keep my thoughts to myself and let you keep on putting it off until... tomorrow but why not today? It's a gorgeous day for a quit! It's even a great date 12/3/12. Look at how nice those numbers look. Go for it Next! We're here for you. You posted on a public forum and I just had to respond . Come on Next, you can do it!
~nurdl

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Wow!

This thread does move fast!

Thanks Lolab and Brdy. Lolab, I think for an alkie, you analogy with domestic abuse is spot on. Anything above nothing is unacceptable.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hi next....I tried posting a response to you, but somehow I got logged out and it was lost. Just wanted to say, let's start together.....I too put it off for far too long. It is time to do it NOW!

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Ahh Nurdl. Thanks. Truly, truly.

I am going to MAKE myself get in the shower, get out of the house, and do my best to make it a productive day.

AND, not that anyone cares, but I am going to make myself accountable by checking back in this eve to report how it went.

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Lets do it New Day.