Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, your post and repost should be a stiky on the 'Just Starting Out' boards. So true, it wasn't a physical pain like I thought, what was always holding me back was FEAR! I tell you, I wish I could produce a crystal ball of 30 Days fast forward for folks..it's just mindboggling how much clearer and more hopeful we are! It is truly a hole you get into with AL...

Nanette, if the occasional bender was all we did and we could start right back on the horse tomorrow, there'd BE no MWO!!!! If we could control it like that, it'd be no problem! The problem is the 'what the hells' set in and it's not just a drink or two...or a day or two, or even a week or two!! This is a progressive thing...whatever your relationship was the day you quit is as good as it's gonna get. I say, 'as good' ....it can get worse. When you get those thoughts, push them out! Distraction, distraction, distraction! At this stage...it's not that anyone else would know, YOU would know...and it would take you right back to square one. Fighting Day 1 again. Stay the course and you will never regret it. I know you will, but just wanted to reinforce the Zero Tolerance Policy....If you had a bad day yesterday, today will be good. I found I have never had 2 bad days in a row! You and your plant (Stella) are doing great!

Ambrose...congrats on your 100+ days. What brought you back to us? Did you just slip or were you trying to ease back into it? I find all information helpful...we are glad you're here.

Friedabee....your avatar is quite an attention grabber...what the hell is it? eheheheh.....you are doing great!!! At 7 days you get a prize here in the nest.

Everyone is doing a fine job of showing AL the door! If you are in the first 15 minutes or 2 years down the road...we all know what it takes to say NO to Dick Head. Well done everybody!!! Rinse and Repeat! Byrdie

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All :l

To those of you on days 3 or 4 - these are tough days- But you CAN get through them. I know I personally had a million day ones, but thousands of days three and/or four. I don't know what it is about these days, but it sometimes is hard to push through. I think it could possibly be that we don't feel we have invested THAT MUCH time in the quit before the first week is up. We start feeling better and just fall backwards AGAIN :upset:

The way I FINALLY made it through the first week this time was to make myself accountable to the folks right here in the nest. I made a commitment to be AF for thirty days and no matter how tough it was, I stuck it out. I think that was what did it for me. As I said, it was NOT easy. I had the same "triggers" such as my work, my family, my depression and sense of personal failure. I had the same opportunities that I had always had to hide my drinking and lie to everyone. But this time, I put my relationship with my friends in the Newbies Nest above all that. I listened to the nest moms and to the senior members and the not so senior members (R.C., Nurdle, Kuya) who had more time than I did and to those who were struggling right along with me (Cat, Fin, Dottie). I learned a LOT from everyone, but I had been lurking for a long time so I still think it was the commitment factor. I also made sure I did not let myself get hungry. I started eating high protein, low carb foods (and still do). I think this has also helped a lot. So, basically- commitment to the newbies nest, reading, posting and making sure my blood sugar was stable are the key things that I believe helped me get through the first five days and then on past day 30.

Nanette. I also remember having a really weak time right after 30 days. I felt like you did. I could just drink one day and go back to day one. I was alone and no one would know. I am SO GLAD I did not do that. I really feel that I probably would be suffering through another day 1 or 2 or 3 again today, if I had chosen to drink after my 30 days was up. Just push through, Nanette, using the same tools you have been using. You are doing great!:l

Patrick- I?m sorry- I don?t get "Fannuary" either- guess I am too Catholic? And now I?m afraid to even hear what it means with all this March and April talk going on. You guys are nuts!:H

Love to all and hope this help someone
:h Star

[matchee]

Newbies Nest

Great words Star.

Those early days are indeed tough- but just keep your head down and muddle through.

My first thoughts were to get myself totally detoxed and then i wanted to get my head right...

I'm feeling much better after 28 days.


But day 25 i went to the store after an argument with the wife (still up in the air whether we will reconcile or not.) Not a big argument but a disagreement none the less. I went to the store to buy soup supplies and must've spent about 15 minutes in the liquor section window shopping. Imagining what i was going to buy looking at all the nice christmas packages imagining different cocktails- but i finally walked away promising myself i would buy some later- but you know what- the urge passed and i went home with just the soup supplies- phew that was close!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Star!!! I didn't get Fannuary either....but didn't want to say anything....But if anyone knows about fannies, it's you! (with the Moons!)

Andrew..your post of finding empties reminded me of a thread we have on this site called "You know you're an Alcoholic when....". I posted on there one time that you knew it 'when you had 37 empty 1 Liter boxes in your Empties Stash'. Then I went back on in the next post and wrote....'When you HAVE an Empties Stash!' Things like this remind us that we don't drink like other people. It seems to not occur to other people to hide AL in hairspray bottles for whatever reason.....:H:H:H. Or to get a 'head start' on an evening...or to Top Off repeatedly. Ugg...you will find freedom from addiction to be a wonderful and simple way of life! It allows you to be the real you...and not some lying, scheming version of you. Byrdie V.5.O that had to be recalled....a wiring problem. All fixed now.

I'm about to head out of town, but will check in as I can. Choose to have a happy AF day!! Byrdie

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Arghh.... Just lost my post! And, it was brilliant. Absolutely, brilliant. lol. Seriously...SO frustrating. Unfortunately, I don't have time to re-write everything. So a quick update...

Day 2. Feel like crap. Super tired, achy, and nauseous. And, in the past even this would've been a reason to drink.

However, the insanity has come to an end. Stay strong everyone!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

next - I totally hear ya! I had a cold recently and felt the same way - in days gone by, that would have been a reason to drink!


I thought fannuary was like Decembeard - like in December the guys would grow their beards, and in January, the women - well...maybe I was wrong. I am going to do my best to avoid Fannuary all together. And to top it off, now byrdie's got me confused....Are we talking to Byrdie version 5.0 and you've been rewired? Sorry - everyone's attempts at wit are flying over ALL our heads!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

How to quit drinking alcohol.

1
Talk to your doctor. If you choose not to, bear in mind that alcohol withdrawal can potentially be deadly. If you start experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms (panic attacks, severe anxiety, the shakes, rapid heart beat) you should seek immediate medical assistance. The condition could potentially deteriorate to deadly delerium tremens if left untreated.


2
Change your attitude about quitting! Remember, you're not being forced to give up a good friend who has treated you well. Instead, you are finally ridding yourself of an enemy.
3
Try to pick some significant date to quit. Be ambitious, but reasonable. If you are very heavy drinker you must first slow down to avoid withdrawal symptoms (in this case it is best to have your doctor help you plan your quitting date).

4
Get rid of all bottles, cans, etc. And don't feel that just because you are having guests over that you need to offer them a beer, wine, or cocktail. It is perfectly fine to offer people tea, lemonade, coke, or the like.
5
Feel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Eat when you are hungry. Sleep when you are tired. This is going to be really weird at first, but embrace it. You haven't felt your feelings for a long time. You will have a learning curve.
6
Don't do anything you don't feel ready to do. If going to the beach is a time when you drank a lot, don't go this year. If going to a certain friend's home for dinner is a time when you drank a lot - get a rain check this time. Protecting your sobriety is the most important thing you are doing right now. Take care of you! Don't worry about everyone else right now.
7
There's an old saying about 'Playgrounds and Playmates' - look at yours - you may need to leave some of your old drinking buddies and watering holes behind. That said - It can be quite a revelation to find out that the friends you used to drink with were drinking with you only occasionally and were having two beers or two glasses of wine to your five.

8
Revise recipes that call for wine so you do not have it in the kitchen, or use non-alcoholic sparkling wine.
9
Buy a wallet and whenever you think about buying a bottle or a drink, put that amount of money in your sober wallet. It will shock you. Use this for healthier stress relief: massage, visit to a day spa, yoga class...
10
Buy a small piece of inexpensive jewelry like a ring or bracelet, or henna your hand, or get a special manicure to remind you that these hands no longer buy or touch alcohol.
11
Drink a lot of water. Water will help keep you hydrated, make you feel better, and help flush out toxins from your body. Men are advised to drink 12 cups (3.0 liters) of water a day, and women are advised to drink 9 cups (2.2 liters).

12
Ask for support, tell family or spouse what you are going through and what you are trying to achieve.
13
Consider joining a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous or SMART Recovery. But do not feel guilty or defeated if you do not find AA to be a fit for you. It is not for everyone. Most people who quit do so without the help of AA. The vast majority of people who have quit drinking and put that phase of their lives behind them have done so by making a conscious commitment to themselves to stop drinking once and for all - and never look back.
14
After 90 days completely sober your whole outlook will be changed and your body will be in full recovery mode. You will be like a completely different person and you will likely have lost weight!
15
Make lists of ways to 'do' all the things you did by using alcohol without alcohol. A list of ways to celebrate. A list of ways to have a romantic dinner. A list of ways to relax and unwind. A list of ways to be sociable.

16
Feel how good it feels to go to sleep at night without 'slipping into a coma' only to awaken at 3 a.m. with a dry mouth and a splitting head.
17
Don't try to explain quitting to people. Most people do not drink like we did. They are not like us and therefore they cannot understand the fact that we truly have a problem with alcohol. Of course, there are others who have the problem too - Either way the people are going to say 'You don't have problem!' When you quit drinking just say 'No thanks, I'll have a Diet Coke - I'm trying to watch my weight.' If you hang out with them very much they'll figure it out - and they'll think 'Good for him!'
18
Admit to yourself, and remember it, that there is absolutely nothing in your life more important than this one thing.
19
Have a good reason! Like - I never want to miss work because I have a hateful hangover again. Or I never want to embarrass my child in front of her friends again. Or I never want to be ugly to my spouse because I've had one too many again. Or I never want to get a DUI(again). Or I never want to 'drunk dial' my friends and relatives and act like an idiot again. Or I never want to hide bottles all over the house again. Or I never want to have to pretend I remember what happened the night before when I do not recall anything after X o'clock again. Or I don't want to lose this marriage the way I lost my first marriage to the ravishes of alcohol again. Or I wonder what it would be like to feel good again.
20
Do not avoid all situations where you would normally drink. Instead approach them with a good attitude and remember that you can have a good time without drinking. (In beginning, avoidance can be necessary. This applies after you have some time under your belt.)

21
Memorize a prayer, poem or something (i.e. Hamlet's speech "To be or not to be") to repeat to yourself when you are losing your mind; trying to remember it will keep your head together sometimes.
22
Give yourself a prize for every day or every hour that you haven't had a drink.
23
Talk to your doctor. If you chose not to, bear in mind that alcohol withdrawal can potentially be DEADLY. If you start experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as severe anxiety or elevated blood pressure you should seek immediate medical assistance before the condition deteriorates to delerium tremens.
24
Pick up yoga! It will help you deal with stress and calm your mind.

25
Take a B-vitamin supplement daily for your first week off alcohol. Alcohol affects the ability of the body to absorb these (specifically thiamine). Deficiency can cause severe cognitive impairment (Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome or wet brain).
26
If you are tempted, try to visualize what you might look like totally out of control. Do you really want to be that person again?
27
If you are a scheduled drinker, like after work or when you go home, change your routine to involve another activity like visiting your parents or a friend.
28
Have food before you drink. This will reduce your interest for drinking.
29
In the initial stage, reduce the quantity of alcohol intake. Imagine that due to excess alcohol, you are vomiting and having head ache on the next day and stop drinking any more.
30
Learn meditation. Do meditation regularly especially in the morning and at the end of the session, vow not to drink alcohol. Remember your calm mind of meditation later when you feel like drinking. It will distract you.
31
Don’t give up on yourself. Many people will find excuses like, “I’ve been drinking for so long, it probably won’t make any difference” or “I’ve tried so many times, I just can’t do it”. Some will feel hopelessly defeated if they find that they have something highly progressive like Cirrhosis of the liver. Quitting drinking can extend life no matter what’s going on. How long it extends is entirely up to the individual; everyone’s physical makeup is different and some are more resilient.

You should remind yourself that if you were willing to try quitting so many times in the past, you have the ability to try again. There is no age limit nor is it EVER too late to try to quit drinking.

32
Don’t let guilt consume you – Some will feel a sense of foolishness and guilt over not having done something sooner. Don’t pass blame to anyone including you. Alcohol is the enemy. It has been whispering in your ear and telling you that it’s more important than anything else. There is nothing more important than you. You are of no use to anyone if you die. Hence, YOU must overthrow the oppressive rule of alcohol and start fresh, just as any country in revolution. It will be hard and you must learn from the past, but remember that you were mislead and lied to by alcohol; now that it’s gone you can really start living. Those around you will appreciate it too.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Great Job, Matchee! They say every battle we win makes us stronger and you won a tough one that night.

Next Please- sorry you are feeling rough, but keep up the good work. Can you take the opportunity to pamper yourself?

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Great Post, Slay!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Great posts star and slay......I need to keep reading and take what I can apply in these early stages. I have a clear head (but achy) and lots of energy today. Determined to make it through one more day and move on to day 4. I keep reading where days 4 and 5 are tough.....I hope with family returning tomorrow I won't be too stressed out to deal with my situation. I'm doing this without revealing to them how hard it might be.....they will most definitely notice the not drinking ......I just plan on saying I'm on a bit of a health kick right now.
Next.....stay with me.....we can do this.....just keep the prize in sight.....better health and a better life.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Great post slay...this particularly hit home for me.
"Feel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Eat when you are hungry. Sleep when you are tired. This is going to be really weird at first, but embrace it. You haven't felt your feelings for a long time. You will have a learning curve."
this is something that will take time for me...goes with self care/love which I am not used to.
Dottie

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Belle;1422231 wrote: Great post slay...this particularly hit home for me.
"Feel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Eat when you are hungry. Sleep when you are tired. This is going to be really weird at first, but embrace it. You haven't felt your feelings for a long time. You will have a learning curve."
this is something that will take time for me...goes with self care/love which I am not used to.
Dottie

Many of us who drink aren't used to that, Dottie. Another commonality among us problem drinkers. It's all part of the process. Not taking the drink is just one aspect.

This line among others struck me from something I posted on another thread today for someone looking for help. It's for the person trying to help the alcoholic, but it's a good read.

"Alcoholics deal with their emotions by drinking."

How to Help an Alcoholic Stop Drinking - Digits's column on Newsvine


You are going through a lot and we all have bad times when we really want to grab a drink to cope, but you and I both know the truth is it messes up our heads and then we have the problem and the bad effects from the alcohol to boot. I almost slipped backward the other day because of depression. Keep coming here and reaching out. Use it as a place of hope when things feel dark. :l


Thanks Star and New. We all need the daily fix to stay strong.:h

Love,

Slay

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1422195 wrote: Hey Star!!! I didn't get Fannuary either....but didn't want to say anything....But if anyone knows about fannies, it's you! (with the Moons!)

I wish :H:H:H
over this side of the pond fanny refers to (ahem) the front lady bottom so I thought the girls could do a female version of movember,hence Fannuary :H

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Patrick;1422254 wrote: I wish :H:H:H
over this side of the pond fanny refers to (ahem) the front lady bottom so I thought the girls could do a female version of movember,hence Fannuary :H

Well, ya learn somethin new every day!

I don't think we'll be goin there, Patrick- it's enough for folks to have to look at me backside during the mooning process :H

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1422262 wrote:

it's enough for folks to have to look at me backside during the mooning process :H

:H :H :H