Newbies Nest

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Think I'm going to call it a night. If i can't sleep later, I'll be back posting again. Thanks for being here. You are much appreciated.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

almost free;1423094 wrote: Evening Fellow Nesters,

Just checking in. Day 5 has been very difficult for me, too. Still sober, but I can't believe that I am still so shaky and exhausted. Can still barely get off the couch. It has never taken this long to bounce back. I have never felt so weak. I wonder if I will ever feel good again.

I had an errand to run yesterday and was so weak, like my legs wouldn't hold me up. I was truly afraid to drive. I thanked God that I made it there and back ok. I had other things I needed to do, and usually I am good about pushing myself, but for once I just did the one thing and came home. I was afraid I might pass out or something.

A lot of hopelessness today. Problems that seem to have no solution. Very demoralized. Ate a little today, took some vitamins, but mainly spent the day drinking lemon water and drinking green tea, hoping to detox faster. Nothing is seeming to help. Just hoping tomorrow is better. So very, very tired of everything.......sorry to be a bummer.....

Almost :h

I've had so many of those days..incredibly despondent , hopeless in my mind and heart. Someone wrote awhile ago that the highlight of their day was going to bed...

But Kuya is so right: it took most of us a hell of a long time to get here; no easy fixes.

I sometimes liken getting the hang of not drinking anymore to playing the guitar: rather easy to pick up, learn a few chords to play a Beatles song or two...but very difficult to master.

I believe There just has to be these moments of despair especially at the beginning but honestly for me at least, nothing compares to the absolute shit I could get myself into drinking or the self loathing which just got deeper and deeper and deeper the more bottles of wine I uncorked, year after year.

I know you don't physically feel well..can relate to that! Just getting over pneumonia. I am trying to use this time as down time; time to smell the proverbial roses, time to rethink my positions, my plans, my kids... I don't get a lot of alone time and I really am trying to examine the feelings that pop into head and either embrace them (I know I can do this. Stop horibbilzing everything) or kick them out of bed (you're worthless, all your decisions suck) ...stuff like that.

It's all part of our journey, I think. So try to enjoy your down time and know that you have lots of company . :l

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kradle,

Thanks for responding. Actually, it was me who said that the high point of my day was going to bed. What a life! But, like you said, it took years to get here. Hard to re-train to a normal life. I loved a quote from 'next,please': ' .....the insanity has come to an end....' Just want to move forward with that thought. Also liked a quote from kuya, about liquor, for us, being embalming fluid. That's a sobering thought!

This has been the longest 'recovery', where I've felt so weak and shaky for so long. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be day 6. I am grateful I didn't have to force myself to go out today. Didn't even leave the house. Felt even shakier than yesterday, don't know why. Of course I've eaten nothing but a couple of peanut butter sandwiches for the last couple of days. That's about all I have here and I'd rather eat that than try to drag myself to the market. I just felt too shaky to drive today.

I'm hoping the worst is over and I can have a good night's sleep and wake up somewhat refreshed. Just want to move forward and not have to do all this again! I believe there is a women's AA meeting tomorrow at noon. If I'm feeling better, I may make a trip over there. I had hoped to be much better by this time, but then there's been a lot more years of damage and I'm older now, too. Time to bring all this insanity to an end, as 'next,please' says. Thanks again for responding. It helps a lot with the late night feelings of isolation. I think I will finally call it a night. Thanks again.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Kradle, please forgive me. I was so wrapped up in my own misery, I didn't even ask you about your pneumonia, and how you are doing. I haven't been as up to date on the posts as I usually am. So sorry you were so sick and hope you are feeling better now. Let's hope we all feel a lot better tomorrow. Hugs!

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters.

Waking up on Day 6. It's Friday. The flatmates are NOT working tomorrow... therefore a perfect excuse for them to have late nights drinking and noising the place up a bit. Therefore, time for me to make plans and get out for a couple of days. I'm lucky that I have a place to go (my folks), where I can be, not so much less tempted by AL, but not find myself in such frustrating situations as a flat with a party happening where a) there's much booze and b) peeps i necessarily would not hang out with (unless, perhaps, I were drunk). I'd rather fight the demon in a place of comfort than in a place of noise, anger and frustration.

AlmostFree - How are you feeling this morning? You are doing so well. And believe when you hear peeps say it gets better. It does. I've smelt it. It's pretty damn fine. Now I want to live it. Do ask folks here for help about energy levels. I think (and I am no expert) that your body is just going through the phases of elimination of AL, and beginning to heal itself. Healing requires the bodies energy - you will be tired, but it is for the better. Do eat well. And do take the supps. I'm still working on the latter. When i first quit my energy levels dipped sharply after 1pm or 2pm. I wasn't taking any supps. Added a good quality Multivit' with HighB doses and that has helped a lot.

Almost - take your time. Take it easy. I said yesterday I wished I was at Day 1000 not Day 5. It takes time. First and foremost - YOU come first. Take care of you. Love yourself. Do this for yourself. Be selfish. Don't worry about asking for help. That is why we're here.

I can hear "Dogtanian" theme tune come on... "All for one and one for all..."! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR9J2ITspyU[/video]]Dogtanian Three Muskehounds Intro theme Music 80s TV Cartoon www.retromodo.com - YouTube

Have a good day nesters.

[Newbeginning]

Newbies Nest

New here

Hello!
I hope that I'm doing this right :-).
I live in UK and have recently decided that I need to do something about my drinking.
I've always been a 'heavy' drinker, but have become really concerned about it. I'm now drinking 6 days out of 7 and am having a hangover at least once a week. I drink in the evenings, after work.
I feel so ashamed - my habit is now starting to take a toll on me mentally and I've started to dislike myself with a passion.
I have a lovely family - fab hubby, children, home......
So, enough is enough. Cutting down isn't an option as I seem to not have an 'off' button. I've told my hubby - he is kind enough to say that he doesn't think that I'm an alcoholic (I don't agree) - but he will support me all of the way.

So - 7 December 2012 - Day 1.
Looking forward to meeting you all.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Newbeginning. You just did one of the smartest landings for a newbie - right into the newbies nest! :welcome:

Look forward to hearing more from you.

RC

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi Newbeginning and :welcome: to MWO

Yeah your husband is very kind, but six days out of seven is a certainly not healthy. Have you tried to cut down or stop? If you have tried and can't then that is a problem and you are in a good place to master how.

So read as much of the info here as you can, go to the toolbox for tips and plans, and keep posting and get to know folks.

It ain't as hard as you may fear.

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Morning New beginning...good for you ...go for it :welcome:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hello & welcome Newbeginning! Glad you decided to join us. We all know about the broken 'off' switch. Please go to the Health store here on the site & download the MWO book. It has lots of info to help you get started. Wishing you the best

Almost free, I hope you are feeling stronger today. Please be sure you are well hydrated & try to get some healthy food today. Are you taking any supplements? Get those bases covered today so you can start feeling better asap

Greetings to one & all. Wishing everyone a great AF Friday! RC, you should spend your weekends here with Stella & Maxie & Matilda. They love company & I could get you to help me haul some 50 lb chicken feed bags.....that will keep your mind off of your troubles :H

Lav

[struggles]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Back at day one, again. But reading your posts really helps. I can't believe I ever thought I could do this alone. I made all those weeks this past summer and damn it, I will do it again!

Have a great day everyone. Happy Friday.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters ....and welcome New Beginning ..... you will find lots of support and encouragement here. Boy do I know about that broken off switch! ..... as do most of us here!
I'm starting day 5 and feeling good. Was so busy with the kids and grandson returning late yesterday afternoon, it wasn't too hard not to pour my usual starter glass. I also knew my daughter would be watching to see how much I was drinking, so surprising her by not pouring was delightful. I was chuckling inside wondering what she was thinking!
Did tell her this morning that I'm on a bit of a health kick and she knew before she left that I was cutting out wheat.....but she didn't know about the alcohol. She will be pleased.

I need to set a good example for my grandson too.....and to be able to enjoy him.

Struggles .... yes, you will do it again! What better day to start, than right now.

I'll check in now and again .... you are all so important to me to be successful .... I hope down the road I can be as much support to others.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters! Checking in- prob last time before I head off to Oz- hope everyone is keeping safe
X

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Minstar - how are you feeling about your trip? Just remember that it's going to seem that you need to have a few drinks to relax and enjoy your holiday - but it's not the case at all...:l

OK. I am feeling like I have to take the time this morning to get a nice post out – as things are heating up around here…☺ I have company coming next week plus my dear sweetie always saves up vacation time to use at holiday time, which means he will be HERE – but still working. Sigh.

Kradle, I am so sorry you’ve been sick – I’ve heard of several who have had pneumonia already this year…just think how much easier it has been for your body to fight it though – without alcohol. Can you believe I used to tell myself that there were antiseptic properties in alcohol plus it helped me sleep so I was fine to just keep drinking through illness….?

Sunnygirl, I’ve been hanging out in the newbies nest for a little while now, too – LOL!
I’m so glad you’re here and posting. Enjoy that massage – it sounds heavenly.

Hi Lav, Star, Kuya, nurdl, Patrick, Mick, and Byrdie….

RC (see below about my “episode” last night….it happens to the best of us!), Dottie, - You know it – you’re getting ready to move onto the next phase – so there is always a little bump in the road before you make it there. I’m so happy for both of you for the progress you’re making.

Slay – that planning thing has become pretty important to me….I try to make lists – so that I don’t get bored or sidetracked – and I do believe it helps me to stay positive and focused and AF.

Welcome Adoree, and struggles – I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

NewDay – You brought a smile to my face about your daughter’s reaction. I’m glad to see the positive attitudes - it’s so important. To not start thinking – well, I HOPE I MAKE IT THROUGH the day or the holidays….to say and believe that I WILL be fully present today and through the holidays and enjoy them…I won’t just survive them. Yeah yeah yeah – sometimes, we have to say it through gritted teeth – and keep forcing ourselves to turn it around to look at it in a positive light…someone here says (maybe mamabear?) Fake it til you make it. If you keep stopping those negative thoughts in their tracks and repeating with positive ones, pretty soon it’ll be natural.

Do you all know last night, I even had a little “episode” of thinking about Christmas day….and remembering “fondly” having so much alcohol around – and it was a holiday and all – drinking wine in the MORNING – while starting to cook….and the warm fuzzy feelings of my family all around me while I was getting ready and enjoying the holiday. These are really important thoughts for me to stop and look at realistically.

At one point, I was able to drink all through the day – and function. These are the times that have become warped in my memory as being warm and wonderful. Truth is, as the day went on, I got scattered and short tempered and I don’t even really remember much of most holidays. And to look at it even more closely – I have to realize that in recent years – I drank through the day and didn’t function. I wouldn’t take care of things at night – I’d pass out instead of enjoying my family – and I’d most likely wake up in the middle of the night – and knowing there was still plenty of alcohol – would go downstairs and get something to help me get back to sleep….which would continue in the morning because I’d feel so rotten. So sometimes I feel like I wish I could go back to the day when I could just enjoy some alcohol like a normal person. But if I look at it truthfully – it never EVER had an enjoyable – positive outcome and there's nothing normal about it.

Almost free, I hope you’re feeling better soon – great advice from RC and Lav on the supps and eating.

Newbeginning – welcome – you will be liking yourself a whole lot more, very soon. It doesn’t take long to see the whole world in a different light. It’s wonderful that your hubby is supporting you. That’ll go a long way. Just be careful that since he doesn’t think you have a problem – he might not be all that strong in his support if you start to waver.

So – I have rambled enough – Have a great weekend!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters! Welcome brand new Newbies! I can't add much to what has already been said so elogently.
RC, my little impatient Scottie....I haven't hit 1000 days yet, either! Those early days seem like an eternity to pass....(and they are longer because we actually experience them).

These days I try to appreciate my sober time. I've never heard anyone here say that he/she were deaf, blind, or had any limbs amputated. Basically, we are a fairly healthy bunch of people with one common problem: OffSwitchicus Brokitus. Latin, for our Off Switch is broke. ehehehe. I hope that everyone can remove yourself from the feelings of being punished...being sober is the best reward I've EVER given myself...and it is all a mind set. Try and take the focus off of your problems and try doing a little something for someone else...That trick really helped me. There are tons of old folks out there emprisoned in thieir homes (can't drive) who long for a little company...I took a 77 year old lady out to lunch last week...it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, but it took my mind off my troubles for a while and made me appreciate just how blessed I am. I have been given a second chance at LIFE! I am living that dream like we see on tv, where the guy wakes up and realizes that he is alive! This will be you! It takes some time and it takes some mind tricks and coping skills, but that's why you are here. If I can do it...I know you can, too!
Friday is just another day! Not a free pass at gettin liquored up! No wining.....and I won't hear of a beer! (that should cover all the loop holes!). Have a super AF day, everyone! Byrdie