Newbies Nest

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Fin, I am cheering for you. It is a real trial, I know. For some reason our brain is wired to behave in different ways around different people. I am sure you know what I am talking about. So be strong, I can’t wait to hear about your evening tomorrow.

I myself had a run in with a drinking buddy/ poker player from the past. Have not seen him in a while and then boom on the way from work there he was drinking and smoking outside a pub. I rarely crave a drink or a cigarette when I am around new people, people that know me since I had given up. But seeing him tonight brought up all these memories and I had to immediately cut my irrational thoughts and rudely say my good bye to him, even though I could see it in his eyes that he wanted someone to drink with and probably thought we would have a catch up over a few drink.

This is why it is so important to cut out all the toxic people out of your life when you quit. Unfortunately some hard core drinkers will be your closest friends like in the case with FIN and you will have to see them again and again...

ALLAN

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

RC, indeed! This is a good place, especially during these lonely nights/weekends when you would rather stay home than test yourself in a bar.

What are your plans for this weekend?

AK

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

RC, funny you should mention the 'forever' thing. Sometimes when I think of it that way, I start gettin the invitations ready to send for Bydie's Pity Party....yes, even I have those sinking feelings of, 'you gotta be kidding...NEVER?' This is normal. But remember our pea brains can only grasp so much at a sitting...All you gotta do, is get thru this day....and I can do that! So far so good. Stay the course, you will never be sorry for a day you didn't drink!! I don't make promises I can't keep, but I'll promise you that it gets better! I wouldn't trade what I have today for all the booze in France (or wherever they keep it). That magic will happen...
Allan and Kuya are showing nearly triple digit numbers!
Friday is just another day of the week (Lav has drilled this into my head). It's true...tomorrow you will wake up and thank your stars that you didn't drink!!! Well done, everyone!! Byrdie

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Hello everybody. Not only Friday, but a Christmas time Friday. I had a stressful week but managed to stay on track and remain AF.

I think I am at 35 days. I love the comments about the broken off switch. That explains everything so perfectly. That is what I am going to say when someone offers me a drink and doesn't take no thank you for an answer.

I am going to go sit and watch some tv with my tonic and lime wedge, my little dog, Todd and make a list of what I need to still do for Christmas. I am a really good list maker. List follower not so much, but list maker really good.

I will check in later and welcome all the newbies to the nest.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Today's encouragement

'Drinking is normal' is a program. Keeping up with social programs, also, cause us to drink to cope.

What does it benefit to man if he gains the entire world, but loses himself?

-Jesus Christ

Social programming is the set of instructions each of us learned to fit in with society. Our family members, school teachers, and peer groups were all part of the socialization process. The long-term affect of this socialization is that we seek external approval and external goals in our lives. If we are to take control of our consciousness and pursue our own goals, we must learn to break free from social programming:

Caught in a treadmill of social controls, that person keeps reaching for a prize that always dissolves in his hands. In a complex society, many powerful groups are involved in socializing, sometimes to seemingly contradictory goals . . . Schools, churches, and banks try to turn us into responsible citizens willing to work hard and save . . . merchants, manufacturers, and advertisers to spend our earnings on products that will produce the most profits for them . . . gamblers, pimps, and drug dealers . . . promise rewards for easy dissipation- provided we pay. The messages are very different, but their outcome is essentially the same: they make us dependent on a social system that exploits our energies for its own purposes.

-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow

*You betray your inner self following all the programs for various reasons.

Here is a poem which emphasizes being honest with yourself:

The Guy in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.

-Dale Wimbrow

Note: The word pelf in the first line means “wealth.”

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never drinks called a non-alcoholic?


Stay strong...hang tough! Shut off the program.
Love,

Slay

P.S. - If you are looking for a Friday night movie, maybe an old one-The Matrix-would be good.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1423452 wrote: Fin, I am cheering for you. It is a real trial, I know. For some reason our brain is wired to behave in different ways around different people. I am sure you know what I am talking about. So be strong, I can?t wait to hear about your evening tomorrow.

I myself had a run in with a drinking buddy/ poker player from the past. Have not seen him in a while and then boom on the way from work there he was drinking and smoking outside a pub. I rarely crave a drink or a cigarette when I am around new people, people that know me since I had given up. But seeing him tonight brought up all these memories and I had to immediately cut my irrational thoughts and rudely say my good bye to him, even though I could see it in his eyes that he wanted someone to drink with and probably thought we would have a catch up over a few drink.

This is why it is so important to cut out all the toxic people out of your life when you quit. Unfortunately some hard core drinkers will be your closest friends like in the case with FIN and you will have to see them again and again...

ALLAN

Roger that. If it gets too be too much, I'll put the ripcord. Fortunately we'll have the kids so that dictates an earlier night by default.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Lolab- how true moookingbackmthriugh rose tinted glasses when reality wasn't too rosey! Thanks for that post. Xx

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

hi Allan ...... Triple digits eh? How amazing does that feel?!

Trying to impress how quickly things come right after feeling so slow is the hardest part of being here in the nest.

Time will pass and it will feel normal and you WILL recover, millions before you have, you just don't see or hear from them because they have returned to health.

I must share this with you all. I attended a little concert for my daughter last night and all parents were to bring a dessert. As is the yearly custom a gift for the piano teacher was to be brought. I had been ill with a cold and my mood on wed/thu was APPALLING!

Thursday night I realised I had forgotten to shop so bought mince pies to take for dessert but could see nothing gift like for the teacher. I spied the sparkling wine, she is elderly but enjoys a small glass of wine every now and then.

This was the FIRST time since I quit that I had purchased alcohol. It scared me for a moment. I bought it and drove home, on the way I masochistically teased myself with the thought of 'will I be tempted to drink it?' no one but I would know.

I took it into the kitchen and set it and the mince pies on the counter and waited for it to speak to me, call me. I almost wanted a war, a noble battle that I would overcome yet be warned not to repeat this foolhardiness again.

Well, folks...... The bottle was SILENT.....it had NOTHING TO SAY TO ME. DICK HEAD WAS DEAD!

But those fecking mince pies SCREAMED to be eaten all bloody evening! :H:H:H

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

slay ..... Loved the poem, so true, gotta like yourself !

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

So Dick Head got a right royal Kick Up Yer Arse :H

Glad to hear it. That's a truck lot of inspiration you just dumped in the nest.

Gonna get you and Allan a pressie for tomorrow. ACTUALLY... it's your tomorrow today and in 1 minute, it will be technically Allan's tomorrow.... so... hang on a jiffy....

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Kuya - Congrats on yer 99!

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Allan - congrats on yer 99!

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Butt velcro and seatbelt please. No cravings just want to feel safe here. A hug would be nice.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Awwww Nurdl, wassup? :l:l:l:l:l:l

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Nurdl Hug coming up...