Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

OMG, Slay!! That is awful! How mean can people be??????????????
Almost, what a situation you are in...I will be praying for your strength to make good decisions.
Fin, you are amazing...and great song! You did it! So proud of you! You know I always ask for a speech!!
Stay strong, Nesters...nothing is improved by drinking (not even your dancing). XO, B

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Almost Free...yes, YOU have done EVERYTHING YOU can. You may have to let him face the consequences. Yes, it is SO VERY HARD to do, but he is just going to keep falling into his safe haven you and not take any responsibility. You can't make him. You have loved him and shown him a huge amount of love, care and giving. Return to the serenity prayer. I really can feel that mom ache, but when it's time, you just have to let go. If you don't you will destroy yourself as well. I'd make that very clear to him and stay strong. He is relying on history...if it goes wrong, mom will fix it.


Don't drink for the stress. Alcohol: a cure for stress?

How about a hot bath with some soothing music? Then maybe a movie? Shake it off and give yourself a night of peace. It will still be there tomorrow to think about. You will not be equipped to deal with it after a drinking binge. It will only cloud your good judgement and you won't be taking care of yourself!


Byrdie...terrible, I know. Unfortunately, very mean. Ugh!

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,

First up - CONGRATS FIN! :woot: :woot: way to go mate. You're inspiring an army of new and old abbers alike.

Just in from bowling. I am VERY pleased to say i royally lost ... my aim is something to be desired. If you desire to shoot left when you're aiming straight.

That's my two days of "Ah shit.... why do i do this to myself, why can;t I just fecking drink for fecks sake?!" over. Passed. Nothing to write home about. Not too many illuminations and if there were some they were, for me, for now, sober and hardly bright flashing lights of epiphanies. No... BUT as I said yesterday, I'm trying to keep my mind on the long view.

K9 - lovely to see you here. Been a while. Good luck with the job

AlmostFree - just keep posting the thoughts, the struggle, the whatever it is you need to get out. Nobody here is gonna criticise. This place is for you.

Hello everyone else - hope you're all groovy.

RC

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

End of Day 2. I had a crappy day at work (still struggling with the aftermath of a 7-day bender). I stopped by a bar on the way home from work to have a Kaliber (non-alcoholic beer). Don't worry, I CAN'T drink alcohol. I have Antabuse flowing through my system.

Anyway, so this young guy is sitting there, and he starts poking fun at my beer. I lied and said I had work to do so I better not drink. First of all, why didn't I just say "I don't drink."? Then later I hear him laughing with his friends about his drunk episodes over the weekend and into this week.

I just sat there and wondered in silence if he thinks he has a problem. Will he be seeking help for alcohol issues one day?

Why do people think it's so glamourous? WhY???

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rooni...are you sure that stopping in a bar is the best place to be? I know you 'can't' drink, but hanging out in an atmosphere where serious drinking takes place may be putting you in jeopardy...and your mindset. Maybe I worry too much, but it puts you in the company of people who are there to drink...just what you are trying to avoid. I try to keep myself in the company of like minded folks, it is just easier...maybe I'm getting lazy in my old age. It helps me any way....Stay strong! Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

In the same way we used to think smoking was glamorous Roon, people still died of smoking related illness but the world was in advertising induced comas. With regard to alcohol it still is.
Just a thought.....why not quit the drinking holes while you sort yourself out? It must be torture ATM......too much for me anyway

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

K9, great to see you back! Good luck with the job.

Kuya and Allan Congratulations on your 100 days!

Fin, awesome accomplishment on 30 days!

Welcome Lasha!

Almost free, thinking of you and sending you good thoughts.

JingleJo, I like your post about the poor girl clutching her can. Keep on charging straight ahead into the AF life that you deserve. Don't look back!

I've been busy with work and I am going to be travelling for a few days (which I hate to do), but AF all the way, because that is the way I roll (in a lopsided pinecone type roll). Good to see everyone here, because that means we are all still fighting together.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Nice to see you Pinecone, wishing you safe travels

Rooni, why don't you have your non-al beer at home?
I haven't been near a bar in years.....just sayin!

Byrdie, I like to think we're getting smarter in our old age

Greetings to all who have stopped n today & wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Just dropping in quickly to say hi everyone. Rooni, I know you have the antibuse in your system so you feel safe. I understand that dropping by a bar or pub is part of some lifestyles, but I know it couldn't be mine. If it was, I would have to change that if I wanted to stay AF.

Haven't gone back too far in the posts due to time.....but wishing you all well. I was again feeling the pull of the desire to have some wine before dinner, but happy to say I didn't.

I want to get to my day 7 tomorrow!......never had that in years.....all new territory for me!
Gotta run....family coming around.
Bye for now, stay safe!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

New Day, well said. This is a lifestyle change...so you have to change your lifestyle. I just would not be successful if I put myself in harm's way routinely. I try to live by.. Lead yourself not into temptation. Set yourself up for success. Shed the people and places that are holding you back. Maybe others weren't as bad as I was...but I was/am fighting for my life here....some inconveniences are to be expected. It has been well worth it. B

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in. Congratulations to Fin! Woo-hoo! 30 days is a fantastic accomplishment. Well done.
Auditions are going well. One more night and this madness will be over. Miss you all.
~n

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1425514 wrote: End of Day 2. I had a crappy day at work (still struggling with the aftermath of a 7-day bender). I stopped by a bar on the way home from work to have a Kaliber (non-alcoholic beer). Don't worry, I CAN'T drink alcohol. I have Antabuse flowing through my system.

Anyway, so this young guy is sitting there, and he starts poking fun at my beer. I lied and said I had work to do so I better not drink. First of all, why didn't I just say "I don't drink."? Then later I hear him laughing with his friends about his drunk episodes over the weekend and into this week.

I just sat there and wondered in silence if he thinks he has a problem. Will he be seeking help for alcohol issues one day?

Why do people think it's so glamourous? WhY???

Morning Nesters.

Sleep fairy buggered off early so been up since silly 0'clock. Hope you're all doing fine wherever you are and whatever time it may be.

Roon - Awesome - day 2 done!

Your post reminds of something I did last night - I just said I was on the wagon to folks or that I wasn;t drinking. By saying I wasn't drinking or that I was on the wagon seemed to elicit less questioning compared to the before. Those who asked whether I was drinking also knew I had had an AF stint... so I could see them concluding that "Oh, he's just enjoying being AF" ... I don't think they really question'd why.

As for peeps glamourising... we just do. As Kuya says, it's marketing. It's powerful. E.g. whenever i see marketing for a good single malt whiskey - it speaks to me, it says in its own way "I am what RC drinks" I look at it the advert and think "That is who I am, I am one who enjoys a dram" It's so powerful that it makes me want to give up being AF EVEN THOUGH I only drank whiskey.... maybe half a dozen times a year and not necessarily to get drunk on. Same with beer or wine - which I drank daily - advert say to something in my head "this is me, it is good to want and have this, this is a good thing, I am this kind of person...."

It's all BS.

Byrdie's point about avoiding the ol' drinking haunts is a good one also. I largely avoid the bars. It's not that difficult actually, cos I find it hard being in a place that is ostensibly for drinking and for most to get a bit drunk.

I get bored pretty quick.

So i probably don't socialise as much or for as long as I did when I was drinking, but I'm actually hoping that in time - not today or tomorrow, or even in the immediate few weeks - I'll find new ways, new peeps even, to socialise. I LOVE THE PUB - don't get me wrong...BUT... perhaps I loved the drug more than the pub.

Off for a dander...
RC

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks guys. No, I won't be going back to the bar anytime soon. It's funny, as soon as I posted my entry about going to the bar last night, three separate people asked me to meet them at the bar. Geez...

I agree about the lifestyle change too. I wonder how long it takes for me stop thinking, bad day at work = go to bar, had a great day at work = go to bar, bored at home and feel like talking to someone = go to bar, it's Christmas = go to bar.....

You get the point.

I have mentioned before that my drinking is completely wrapped around and intertwined with socializing at the bar. I am not one to sit around the house and drink alone. Socializing and drinking at the bar have gone hand in hand for me for a very long time. THIS is precisely the habit I must break.

It's Day 3, and I'm up at 4am updating my resume. I am ready for a new job. My team lead and manager are making me want to get smashed every minute of the day, and I don't need that right now.

Hope everyone has a safe, sober day!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Another quick point I forgot to mention. In my past three long-ish spurts of sobriety, I inevitably end up filling my days with stuff - exercising, cooking, cleaning, projects around the house, catching up at work, etc. I often wonder how I ever had time to go sit at a bar every night. I'm anxious to feel that way again.

My new motto - I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO DRINK.

[moni]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1425693 wrote: Another quick point I forgot to mention. In my past three long-ish spurts of sobriety, I inevitably end up filling my days with stuff - exercising, cooking, cleaning, projects around the house, catching up at work, etc. I often wonder how I ever had time to go sit at a bar every night. I'm anxious to feel that way again.

My new motto - I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO DRINK.

I now wonder how I got anything done when I drank. I don't seem to have a spare minute the last 4 weeks but prior to that I spent many hours sitting on a sofa with a glass in one hand and bottle of wine in the other. Things must have been falling down around me. Now I bake, clean.. even knit!