Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Humpday, middle of the week, etc

'Lead us not into temptation' ~ good words to live by Byrdie

Rooni, it takes at least 21 days to break a habit & get a new one going. The countdown begins now

Greetings to everyone & wishes to all for a fantastic AF Wednesday!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

RC...you bring up a most excellent point!! Misery not only loves company, It loves miserable company. I am totally stunned at just how boring these drunken conversation are now that I am sober. Was I hanging out for this 'stimulating' conversation or to just have some drunk friends so I wouldn't be the only one in this shape. Sort of a chicken and the egg thing (with apologies to Stella). Did I drink to be with friends or have friends so I could drink? Now I can have a nice time and still be home by 9:30....not much is said or done after that that I can't live without....With parties that I used to attend (and have) the same folks (non drinkers) always left early...I was always one of the last to leave. (maybe it's a sign?).
Have a wonderful AF Wednesday Nesters! Byrdie

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good day everyone!

Hi to all the Nesters......I hope things are looking a little brighter today for everyone. I finally had not too bad of a sleep last night. Still took quite awhile to get to sleep, and I woke repeatedly, but did manage to get back to sleep fairly quickly. Felt soooooo good! I want sure how long I could keep these restless nights going, but I'm hoping I'm at a turning point now.

Just spent the last 2 hours comforting my 8 month old grandson....he's got a cold and is cutting more teeth, so pretty uncomfortable.....and his mom now has a cold, so she's back in bed too. There go my morning plans....but what's a grandma to do?!!! I'm glad I'm able to give him comfort.

Better try and get some things done while he's asleep for a little bit.....will check in now and again. I need to keep close to the nest for the support to stay AF. Thanks everyone

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey wait a minute, New Day! Isn't this Day 7 for you? Or am I mixed up?

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

With parties that I used to attend (and have) the same folks (non drinkers) always left early...I was always one of the last to leave. (maybe it's a sign?).
Byrdie, you and I both. I bet we would have been quite the drinking dynamic dual. My gf friend and I were always looking to make up our sex in the city group. Which character would you have auditioned for? Ugh, not only the last one to leave, but looking to see if anyone wanted to keep the party going elsewhere. It was amazing at my size that I would still be standing looking for more alcohol and fantasy fun. Although, I do hear the stories of me falling off bar stools, riding bulls after hours which I don't remember, etc. How can a body take as much abuse as we've given it and still go on? Amazing!

Great job, New Day!!!:thumbs:

I agree about the lifestyle change too. I wonder how long it takes for me stop thinking, bad day at work = go to bar, had a great day at work = go to bar, bored at home and feel like talking to someone = go to bar, it's Christmas = go to bar.....

You get the point.

I have mentioned before that my drinking is completely wrapped around and intertwined with socializing at the bar. I am not one to sit around the house and drink alone. Socializing and drinking at the bar have gone hand in hand for me for a very long time. THIS is precisely the habit I must break.

I can relate to that, Roon. Although, I did drink at home with a friend or friends. My gf would have bombfires at her home in the nice weather, so we would do bars and home drinking or she would show up with a bottle of wine or vodka after work. I've found it is harder not to go to the social outlet when I'm lonely or really stressed because I'm alone a lot these days. I've lost a lot in the last year, so that's the tough part for me.


I don't really have words of encouragement today...sorry. I'm feeling a bit heavy for several reasons. One posted on pauly's feeling evil thread. Maybe later. Down and blah this morning with lots on my mind.

:lto all.

Love,

Slay

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Today's encouragement

Ok, now that I'm completely awake and problem solving vs. problem dwelling, I'm on the upside. I'll turn the frown upside down. Alright...goofy, I know.

I've decided to get a couple bottles of sparkling juice in wine bottles...non alcoholic...and drink it in a wine glass while my house guest is here this weekend. It will have some familiarity and comforting effect...I think. So, that's part of the plan.

Now, for some holiday AF encouragement. This will make some lady's (?) laugh, too.

December is tipsy season--so how does all our boozy flirting and fun look to someone without beer goggles on? Writer Sarah Hepola has seen it all, and was sober enough to take notes.
not drinking

For years, I loved drinking my way through the holidays. I loved the way I looked in a slinky, silky party dress with a martini in my hand. I loved how liquor with a big bow on it could change the trajectory of any awkward gathering, how that bottle could make all of us?friends, bosses, colleagues I only halfway liked?light up inside like a Christmas tree.

But as I grew older, I began noticing that it was harder to shake off a hangover, that two glasses of red wine turned into five, which turned into an email the next day that began ?I?m so sorry about?.? What had once been a fun excuse to cut loose began to feel more like a need. I loved losing myself in alcohol, but I was starting to lose myself, period.


And so I quit drinking. It isn?t easy to avoid alcohol during the holidays. Sometimes I feel like Santa Claus himself wants nothing but to sit me on his lap and pour tequila down my throat. Not drinking, however, awakened me to so much that I?d never seen before; I notice things that flew right past me when I was sloppy with bourbon cocktails. Among my observations:

1. People aren?t attractive when they drink a lot. This is particularly bittersweet, of course, since most of us drink to feel prettier. The smeared eyeliner, the teeth stained red-wine purple, the staggering to the bathroom: Even the most devastating woman at the party looks bad falling off a bar stool.

2. Not drinking is the best diet in the world. And when you stop drinking, people will not shut up about how good your skin looks.

3. It?s very easy to tuck your skirt into your underpants accidentally when you are drunk, and I notice that I never, ever do this sober.

4. The peer pressure you think will exist if you stop drinking? It really doesn?t. What you realize is that most people don?t care. They can?t tell whether that glass of sparkling water with lime is actually a vodka tonic or whether your Diet Coke has rum in it.

5. People who do pay attention to what?s in your glass are generally people with alcohol issues.

6. I don?t think I?ll ever find a faster, better way to relax than having a glass of red wine. Then again, I don?t think I?ll ever again have the effortless blond curls I did as a toddler. Oh, well. Being a grown-up is hard.

7. It?s surprisingly easy to talk to people when not drinking. I used to fret that without liquid courage, I wouldn?t be clever and charming at holiday parties. What would I say? How would I make people laugh? Sober, I managed well, actually. What you notice is that most people at the holiday party are also trying to be charming and clever, and they enjoy it when you laugh at their jokes and ask about their lives.


Love,

Slay

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Good post slay!!!!!!!!!!!!

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

Isn't it day 7 for you, New Day? Congratulations!

I was just over and posted at Pauly's' feeling evil' thread. I usually don't stray far from the nest, but heard Slay talking about it, so went over there. Got a lot off my chest.

Oh, was just cross-posting......Slay, always love your posts. This one is great! So much wisdom and encouragement. You are great!

Hope people will be around this weekend. I'm in so much fear about this move with my son. And I'm having to book a flight for my husband today. Incredibly fearful about everything all of the sudden. Everything is so much more emotional than I thought, now that it's all going to start changing: the last one actually leaving the nest and it may all go downhill, hubs coming, not even knowing what to do about Christmas, just too exhausted to worry about it, with everything else, having to give notice (no going back, then) when I'm not sure it's all going to be ok yet......So fearfull.....

Hope someone is going to be around. Many days, (mid-day to earlly evening, my time), there has been nobody posting on the nest for hours and hours, some days. I pray someone will be checking in. It seems like it's a very difficult time for so many of us right now. So many challenges, the holidays, etc.

Have been like a zombie for the last ten days. I am going to try to get some stuff done today. Shower, to the bank, to the library.....just haven't had the energy to do anything due to the severe withdrawals and exhausted by the 'scenes' with my son and fears about everything that is looming. All the bad things that will probably happen......Plan to stay close and hope others will be around, too. Hugs to all.......thanks for being here. Don't know what I'd do without MWO.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Dottie, how is it going?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Almost free - I work from home & can usually jump in at lunch time
Feel free to drop me a PM if you like.

New Day - congrats to you if this indeed is 7 AF days for you :wd:

Tucking my shirt into my underpants Slay - God forbid :H :H
I know what you are saying though. Last year I walked next door (to my brother-in-law's house) on Christmas Eve to say hello & a drunken guest almost fell on me before I even got all the way into the house. Needless to say, I stayed about 10 minutes then went straight back home - screw that stuff!!!

I absolutely enjoy the mind peace of sobriety, even if I am alone on a holiday

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lavande,

I hate to say it, but I don't know how to PM from here. But I will check in. Going to try to do some stuff today. Need to go pay for the bed and pick up some other stuff for my son's move this Saturday. Sooo nervous about it all. Much more emotional than I thought. The fears that it will all just fall apart......and then what?

He is so impractical and incompetent. Has never lived on his own. Need to try to go over a few basics with him, before he moves and hope he is not angry and argumentative. Just basic stuff that I've tried to teach before, about basically cleaning up after himself, how to do it, etc. So ridiculous to still have to be doing this at his age, 21! My older kids are both very accomplished and independent, so I don't know why I can't seem to get any results with this guy!

Everything he does ends in disaster. He put food down the sink, thinking it had a garbage disposal, left the water running and flooded the kitchen, forgets his keys and gets locked out, etc. etc. Sooo frustrating! Don't know how much is just because he is stoned. Before, it was because of the meds. Part of it is also just him. He can't seem to focus enough to pay attention when I'm showing him stuff.

Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

If one more overpaid project lead comes into my cube with a question that they should already know the answer to I am going to Scream Out Loud....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh
Is it Friday yet???????

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

almost free, I will send you a pM now so you can easily respond. Just click on the blinking icon right under you name on the top of this or any page

I'm sorry your son is such a heavyweight - he does need a push out of the nest, so to speak.
He will figure things out soon enough when left to his own devices I think. Some 'kids' will let you mother them forever. That's just not good for anyone involved. What do the older kids do to help motivate him? Anything? He needs a dose of reality & now is as good a time as any.

You need to focus on you, right?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Dottie, hugs to you

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

almost free -
You need to go into your User CP & check off to allow PMs. Apparently you have them blocked right now.
The User CP is atthe top left of any page.