Newbies Nest

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Ok, thanks, Lavande, just got out of the shower and am rushing off to an AA meeting. I was probably so paranoid when I signed up I opted out of everything. Thanks. I'll fix the settings when I get back. Got to get to the meeting, the bank, the library, a haircut (because hubs is coming and I've let myself go.) I'll be back a bit later. Thanks so much!

And hugs to you, too Dottie! So sorry everything is so lousy for you right now.

Hope everything is ok with you RC

You, too, Slay. That last post was amazing!

Back later, all. Thanks again!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Tucking my shirt into my underpants Slay - God forbid

Heh, heh, I knew that would get someone laughing. It broke me out of my blah into a roaring laugh. I kid you not, it has happened. Fortunately for me, that is not one of my moments but probably because I have observed several other girls who have done this and in fact approached one to fix her indiscretion (is that what we should call it?):H before anyone else noticed. From that point on I became paranoid coming out of the bathroom checking and rechecking my garments like an OCD patient.

In the full alcohol induced delusional state, I fashioned myself like Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood hammering down shots with the guys showing them that I could out drink and outwit them all. In reality, I was the girl falling off the bar stool toward the end of the night. So really, I wasn't still standing, I was 'standing' back up to get back on the bar stool to order another shot or drink. Weeehaaaa...a fictional world to be sure.

Considering I have two 'dick heads' I'm avoiding right now, I'm amazed one of them haven't broken me yet. Power to the people or something like that.

I mean really, after reading the above does it sound like I have a problem with alcohol? :upset:


You're welcome Dottie. Thinking...why don't you visualize hitting them over the head with a cast iron frying pan...cartoonist style, of course. Then smile and move on.


Almost Free, as I read your post today, I am struck by some thoughts. I completely understand how you feel with all you have been through with your son. I've walked some wild forestry through my parenthood path. However, I see a bit of the black sheep syndrome shining through and I bet your son does as well. He has two healthy well adjusted brothers/sisters who mom and dad are proud of. Then along he comes with some mental issues and just can't cope or keep up with the success of the others. Many times parents will send negative messages to their children like you will fail, you will never amount to anything, you will continue to make this mistake (I can hear my mother lately, oh you will take him back again; you are so naive) but I'm old enough to shut her off and know this is her problem not mine. When I read your posts, they are filled with images of failure and negativity and trust me I understand why. May I suggest that you face him with a positive non judgmental attitude in this move. Say nothing negative and only tell him you are proud he has this new job and is going to try to make a new start and that you believe in him and that if he chooses to, he will succeed. Maybe, also, type out a list of duties for taking care of the new place and just hand it too him and tell him if he needs any help with adjusting to his independence, the list contains some helpful 'suggestions' and he can call if he needs more information. Let him feel in control of this process and like a man who has the power to succeed beyond mom or dad. Don't send him in with the thoughts that he is going to fail. Send him with a belief in him that you know he can do this and you trust that he will with a smile and gentle love.

We can compare this to how an alcoholic feels when others bring shame on them. They only want to drink more. Shame and talk of failure are losing propositions. Just some food for thought. NOT TO MAKE ANY GUILT toward you. YOU have done an outstanding job.

Love,

Slay

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

2013 has to be better and I am going to make changes so that happens!!!
Dottie

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey- Wake up, New Day oke:

We've been waiting all day to give you your 7 day achievement award!

Remember? You get the full moon from the entire nest in honor of your whipping AL's arse for seven full days!

:moon:

We are all so proud of you, we can hardly stand it. You have conquered every day of the week. Ain't nothin you can't handle now - even a teething baby and a sick daughter-
So here's to 7 more days just like that!

And New Day, consider yourself extra special because today (this New Day), in addition to full moons, we are also giving away..... you guessed it.....

:catroll:

Kitty Cats!!!

Byrdie is tryin to get rid of her brother's surplus and hasn't been having much luck, SOOO- heres the new deal....

Seven days sober gets you a full moon And a kitty cat.

And...........anybody that falls off the wagon gets

:catroll::catroll:

Double Trouble

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Bahahaha! STAR! You think of EVERYTHING!!!! A real problem solver, you are! :H:H:H (slapping knee, you're good!) B

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Starfish, that was a STAR quality post.

ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!


Meow Mix Commercial for Meow Mix Tender Centers (2012) (Television Commercial) @Popisms.com - Connecting Pop Culture

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Yay! Just sitting down to open the mail and I have my lab results. Liver enzymes A ok! The only problem is low vitamin D. Well, that is no surprise being I'm a vampire this time of year.

I'm bloody damn thirsty! I'm loading 'me' gun (oh oh, I think the Irish chick in me is trying to get out). Time to shoot Mr. Dickhead. You decide which one I'm referring to.

Hang tough troops. We be in this nest together...birds of feather...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Great news on the liver enzymes! I'm telling you, that organ deserves a metal! Now take care of it, since it has given you a second chance! :H

What a pair we would have been out drinking together....I fell a lot as I recall...still got the scars and sore tail bone to prove it. Life is just a whole lot simpler now and I'm loving it! Drinking is just exhausting to someone obsessed with it. Dick Head is a demanding ole cuss.

Everyone is doing so well...I am so proud to be here with each and every nester. We can do anything as long as we stick together! :hug: B

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Awesome posts Slay, cheered up my day.

Well done, New day on your 7 days.

Also Slay, your take on dealing with kids reminds me of my own son. He is 23 and is a bit lost. Absent father, useless step father, dyslexic, low self esteem, talented and successful siblings.
All through his teens he used to get so upset with me for calling him a loser ...... And I would deny it......I NEVER used those words. Then one day a friend pulled me up short about how I spoke about him and I realised that I did everything APART from use those words. My look, my tone, the way I phrased my questions to him SCREAMED LOSER.

I remember the day I apologized to him, we both cried and hugged and since then we have had a much better relationship. He still has no direction but he harms no one and is no happier or less happy than any of us.

I feel for you Almost, caught between your son and your husband. It must be hard on your son, as a boy, knowing how unacceptable he is to his father. I am lucky that I have no partner any more to have to placate.

I do not envy your situation but your son hasn't DONE anything that bad has he? He smokes pot that does him no good but so do thousands of people. He is self medicating with pot, it is bad for him medically but maybe he feels too worthless to himself, you and most importantly his dad, to WANT to stop.

I know my son suffers from ' if I can't be the best I will be the worst' syndrome. Being incompetent at caring for himself may be the only way he knows of keeping your attention.

As Slay says make all the attention positive and ignore the pot if possible.

What about family counseling also?

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

We learn the hard way, eh, Kuya?!

Byrdie's Christmas card and Kuya's if the airplane tickets aren't too expensive.




For everyone.





:h:l:h Attached files [img]/converted_files/2003623=7245-attachment.jpg[/img] [img]/converted_files/2003623=7246-attachment.jpg[/img]

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for your congratulations.....yes, I have just done 7 days AF! A first for me. Today was extremely busy and I couldn't get on until night. Just want to thank everyone here for their support. A great place this Nest is!
I'm feeling so much better without alcohol.....why did it take me so?
Oh, yes,.....we already have one cat and one dog....both were strays, but I've had my fill over the years....so I'm afraid ill be declining the kitty reward.....sorry.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

No kitties for me either Ms Byrdie. I am definately a dog & chicken woman :H

Just checked Slay - nothing tucked in my underpants tonight

Congrats again New Day! Keep that good feeling going ~ that's why we're here!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone, Slay, Star, Byrdie, Dottie, Kuya, New Day, Lavande.....

What a busy day! Finally, enough energy to do something. Made me glad I'm sober and was able to do all the things I needed to do. AA meeting, to the bank, the library, got a haircut. Hubs is coming next week and I've let myself go since he left, cutting my own bangs (some strange obsession I always get when drinking, NOT recommended)The hairdresser was like WTF?!? Whatever....

Slay and Kuya, you are right. The words were never spoken, but he has always been slower than the others and seems determined not to try at all. He has no interest in ANYTHING! We put him into a hundred things when he was growing up, soccer, etc. Hoping he would find something he liked and was interested in. He always quit when it required sustained effort. (I understand the concept that maybe to him, it's better to act like you don't care, than to give it all you have and fail).

He was my husband's (and everyone's) favorite. I told him many times, neither your Dad nor I are scholar-types, just do what you are happy doing. The problem was that from 15 years on, the pot escalated to include other things, mainly pills. He became extremely violent and foul mouthed, disrespectful, vicious and destructive. Got in two car accidents, lost his car, his job, broke countless things, walls, door, around the house and ended up doing nothing but laying around getting high. Every night, I feared when he came home (possible confrontation with hubs) and I feared when he didn't come home. Years of hell.

I have a previous post about how I ended up in my present predicament, but many believe that for those with underlying schizophrenia, pot can trigger a psychotic episode. The last one ended with violence, arrest, hospitalization, being on the street until I got here, ten months of my being with him 24/7 and thousands and thousands spent on rent, food, vitamins, etc. etc. to get him well enough that he now has a job and is moving Saturday to a room we finally found, (affordable and close to work) to help him become independent and on his own.

That's all in jeopardy with the pot smoking, (with his underlying schizophrenia), especially since he has recently upgraded to stronger stuff, smokes in the morning, comes home to smoke at lunch and smokes in the evening, too. The new stuff stinks so much, I can't imagine anyone wanting to live with him using it. He also bought eye drops and cologne, so I'm wondering if someone at his job said something.

I spend a lot of time reminding him how far he has come and to please not lose everything again. My husband was so proud of him and told him so, when he got the job, whatever small thing he could praise. But, unfortunately, with the first paycheck, the pot started again. Sorry everyone, to always go on and on about this..........

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Sorry...... Slay, I think you and Kuya are right. Instead of saying "look how far you've come, please don't blow it." I should have (and will try to do in the next couple of days), say "look how far you've come, we are so proud of you. I know you'll do fine".

Unfortunately, in my fear and desperation, I always took the first approach. I will try what you and kuya suggest. More positive. Also the reassurance, since he has never been on his own, that we are just a phone call away if something comes up that he's not sure how to handle. (That happens a lot!) Thanks for your advice. It's great to get feedback from someone who can be more objective.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,

Almost - Kuya and Slay have got a rack load of good advice. You are working so hard with your son, and you both have come so far, I do hope he sees light with what his pot smoking is really doing and helps himself. :l to you Almost.

And so for Almost and I and Dottie, day 12 begins. My exam is tomorrow (i am the most P/T student ever at uni (but then I do have a F/T job, and a P/T job to hold down also))... today is to be cramming in the study. Hopefully. I'll be glad when it's done obviously, and be able to relax without feeling guilty/stressed about relaxing (which in turn aint relaxing) because I have an exam approaching.

Have been doing some reading into PAWS also - don't know what others have experienced by the way of this? Will try to keep track of it on the Stella Thread.

Have a good day nesters.
RC