Newbies Nest

[Munro]

Newbies Nest

Honestly I don't have a plan. I would like to moderate but the more I read here the more I realize that it may not be a option for me. I don't know when to stop! I guess I'm still kidding myself that I can control this instead of having to give it up completely.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Almost-I can't even imagine what you are going through. How are you keeping AF?
Muron-that's me. I have FINALLY come to realize there is no moderation for me. It's all or nothing. I've tried moderation for years now and it only gets worse and worse. Each time I think I'm drinking for the last time so I really do a good one, and then of course pay for it, and then of course drink to get over the drunk, etc. Good luck to you tomorrow. Please check in with us and let us know how you are doing? Be safe.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi there Munroe. I think that most of us hoped to moderate when we first arrived...what we've found that it usually takes a period of abstinence (we shoot for 30 days) before you even try to make that decision. As you know - you're kind of "all over the place" in the beginning...one minute feeling like you can do anything...and the next minute a quivering mess of emotions - wanting to drink. That 30 days lets you get your sea legs - lets your mind clear - :-)

But, it's pretty darn near impossible to make it any length of time without a plan of some sort. Take a look at the toolbox https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html there are great ideas there. From strategies to avert a craving to supplements to rewards...I'm sure you'll find some useful information there.

:-) lola

[Munro]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for replying. I will stay close to the boards. I'm so greatful to have found this place.

Almost - Tomorrow is certainly going to be a challenge for you, and your son as well. Get through it sober and I'm sure you'll feel like you can get through anything.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Munro, good luck to you too. A lot of good advice and support here. So glad I found MWO, too.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

I see nothing but disaster looming, and everyone helpless to stop it. So tired, so very, very tired. Afraid about tomorrow evening, when I come home and collapse, in exhaustion and no doubt, lots of tears.

Just got back...doing a quick check in. Almost, I could write your story in a fictional character and where and what you need for closure, but you are going to have to endure it yourself as part of life's experience in giving you wisdom to pass on. Life is a series of phases we continually learn from.

I think in the end, if the thing you most fear happens, it will actually be good for you. You just can't see how yet. It is going to teach you something about yourself, but you will cry a river of tears first. The things we love most and fear most can send shock waves through us, but they are so full of lessons. My name, 'slaythefear' didn't come out of nowhere. It has come from suffering and awareness.

I so want to sit next to you and hold your hand through this because I know how devastating this is for you, but trust me, YOU will and can survive it. Your fears are slaying you, instead of you slaying them and that's normal. Several people here have taken residence in my heart and YOU are one of them. Come on, girl. Find your strength...it's there. If you need to sop your eyeballs out until you look like death warmed over, do it! Know, though, YOU will make it through this. Tough times teach us how really tough we are, but NEVER quit on yourself and believing in YOURSELF. I am so glad I haven't through all the pain I have suffered. It's going to get better, but eventually, you are going to have to just let go...let it be what is going to be when you have done all you can.

Love,

Slay

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Slay, for everything.....

I know you are going through a tremendous amount of adversity and pain yourself.
What you said reminds me of a scene in "French Kiss', where Meg Ryan's character says that she has spent her entire life trying to avoid exactly the situation she found herself in.......and she came out of it stronger.

I know I am strong and have endured a lot of extremely difficult things in my life, I can take a lot. It's when someone I love is going to suffer that I can't take it. Hugs to you, I know you are busy, so I won't go on and on....

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters. And hello Munro. :hiya:

Ok, exzUminAyshun is finitoed. Done. Don't care the mark as long as it's enough to scrape through!

Now gonna relax... maybes with a movie or summit...

Almost, Dottie - you guys hanging in there?

And Lolab - just wanted to say a "hey you're awesome" yesterday to you after your post... bit belated but better late than never. Hope you're fine m'dear.

Ok, off for a gander...

RC

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hey RC I am still hanging....want to go home now....ready for my vacation to start....just not working is enough for me...don't even have to go anywhere....
Dottie

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi RC, so glad that your exam is over with, too. We were all rooting for you. A lot of pressure off, now, thank God. Have a great day!

Still hanging in there........by my fingernails...... but still sober. Heard briefly from Dottie, think she is still hanging in there, too, in spite of all her difficulties. I think today is the last day at the' job from hell' for her until the new year. That's a great relief, I'm sure. But there are still the problems with her Dad. Sounds like the support group is helping, though.

Posted earlier about my day from hell yesterday, almost breaking down crying while out shopping for stuff for my son's move tomorrow. Came within an inch of going out. As the stress, exhaustion, fear, anger, resentment and frustration was building, I could feel that need for a drink building. Would have been a disaster. Thank God, I felt calmer by the time I got home.
Everything is sooo much more emotional about all this than I thought it would be......

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Almost...I have found it helpful to prioritize worry. While I plan for the worst, I hope for the best. Try not to let worry and fret dictate you....deal with it when it comes to you...(easy for me to say). Maybe there are boards just like this one for pot smoking...I bet there would be tremendous help for that situation online. Worth looking into. Meantime, well done on your AF time! Now that's a subject we know!

I imagine K9 will be along shortly with her cheering squad...but Friday, even a holiday Friday, doesn't give us a free drinking pass. Nothing is different today except the excuses...so guard your quit with your lives!!! If you must go to a party and act like an ass, just ACT the part instead of living it! Save yer liver the trouble!!! Bahahaha. Remember to pick up your kitty on the way out the door! (Star, look what you've done to me!!)
Munro, we are so glad you're here. If you plan NOT to drink tomorrow, then you won't! You don't have to wake up Sunday morning with the GSR Brothers (Guilt/Shame/Remorse). You can rewrite the ending!! See Lola's tag line (stole that).
Catbuddy had a great thread on holiday parties...let me go see if I can bump it up for you so it shows up in the new posts!!! Hang on....Done...What is your holiday plan or some such name...dang I forgot it in the 2 seconds it took me to come back here...sorry...you'll know it when you see it. xo, b
Byrdie

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1426977 wrote: If you must go to a party and act like an ass, just ACT the part instead of living it!

Very tempted to make that my holiday season signature...

Though can see Mick saying I don't need to act the part :H

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Byrd-I like the GSR brothers. That's awesome! I finally quit asking my husband about the "previous eveing" that I didn't remember only because I didn't want to know about GSR. Like your attitude! My plans-keep taking my little white pill. I figure it is a crutch at the moment but if it gives me those first 30 days someone mentioned, then I can start working on other issues. First, I have to break the habit.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

You got that right, Overit....do what you gotta do to get your 30 day HAT! (we give prizes around here for outstanding performance). As you say, so much of it is just lame habits!!! We are so glad you are with us, be sure to check out the tool box....it's good reading! We'll be around all weekend, so post how you are feeling. You never know that what you are saying might help someone else get thru the next 15 minutes. Every post matters. Hugs, B

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

GSR Brothers (Guilt/Shame/Remorse) I like this one....a keeper...
Dottie