Newbies Nest

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

I see your struggle everyday Slay and you are an amazing person.the wisdom you have put up on your posts has given me strength when I was faltering on more than one occasion,so I really hope you can use some of it yourself.Fight on

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Slay, you are right, he just said he doesn't want to go. Says he's very anxious about it. He said he's so comfortable here. The other problem is that the girlfriend who lives with the guy he is renting from asked him about his pot smoking. They are ok with it but she asked him how much he smokes. He said he doesn't smoke for extended periods, just a quick hit. (Yeah, but ten times a day?!)

)They said it's cool OUTSIDE, but after having seen the building, there is nowhere discreet to smoke something that is other than a cigarette. And it gets REALLY cold and rainy here. And now with the bong, well, it's not as discreet as a little pipe! He's seeing this as a major problem, now. What if some old lady comes out and sees him and complains. God, what a mess! And he's still not in the shower. I KNOW he is dragging his feet.

I'd throw his stuff out, but have already been down the road you describe, Slay. It would provoke a MAJOR 'scene', things broken, etc., which would require calling the police. I am simply not up to that today/tonight. I know my limitations. I would definitely drink after a scene like that was over. Maybe not when I have more sobriety, but I can't handle it at this point. Just going to grit my teeth and as Overit said: get 'er done.

He had access to counseling, but has no interest in continuing and doesn't like the people, because they tell him to stay away from pot. Also, his work hours change a lot and he doesn't want to go to see people he doesn't like on his day off. He walks to work, back at lunch and again home after work.

And we are still not out of the woods with the move. They may still ask him to leave if someone complains about the huge bong.....or if he smokes in his room. Or if he stops taking his niacin and has another 'episode'. God, give me strength. Is there any end to this nightmare?

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Well, better start loading the car. He's in the shower, but I want to get started. Back later, wish me luck. Please send some good thoughts and prayers my way. Thanks everyone!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Awww...thanks SO MUCH Patrick. I appreciate that.

Almost Free, it's very understandable that he is scared and afraid to let go of your hand. Even someone without medical issues and his background can be frightened. It's so obvious why your heart is breaking. Mine is beginning to for you both; however, this is something that must take place.

Does your son have access to a computer or skype? Is there a way to provide a bit of a place for him to feel a little safety? I know you bought him a bed and sounds like minimal material things available. If he has internet, will he read daily encouragements or outside advice through his email or other avenue?

Love,

Slay

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the hugs Slay, it helps
As a matter of fact, my daughter must have had some sort of common sense enter her head tonight - the tone of her emails has changed I am well aware of the problems she has going on in her life & have been supportive all along BUT I won't let her (or anyone) bite me & get away with it :H

Almost, if I can say this - just get it the hell over with tonight! Despite his protesting & dragging his feet, just get it over & done with. It will be the best thing in the long run for the both of you:l

I am actually in my shop finishing up some work so I can start my day free & clear tomorrow - yay!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest - hang on tight!

Lav

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

Checking in. Your prayers and good thoughts must have helped, because I somehow got the energy to load the car and get him moving. Dropped off 90% of the stuff and will make one more trip with the electronics; the tv, tv stand, the Playstation, and just a couple of other things he'll take on the last trip. Then we are done.

Slay, the place is rather sparse, but he does have a tv, a playstation and netflicks. Unfortunately, there was a great video rental place half a block away, but they closed a couple of months ago. He has been downloading some shows to his playstation from my computer, so that he can watch them at his new place. They apparently don't have cable at the new place and he doesn't have a computer yet.

Well, better keep going.......almost finished......

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Oh, I pulled through a drive thru to get him something to eat on the way back from our first trip and even got a Big Mac for myself. I rarely eat fast food, but realized I was so stressed I hadn't eaten all day. Boy that really hit the spot and I feel much better now that I ate something. Well, going to make that last trip now.....almost done......

[change=freedom]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys, I'm back after awhile. I get a bit overwhelmed by this thread sometimes because there's so much going on but I thought I'd come back because there's a lot of support and understanding. And I need that because in the real world I have no support and I can't confide in anyone and I'm finding it hard to be strong enough to stay away from AL. I'm feeling particularly bad because I'm quite certain this guy I've been dating (for over a year) has figured out I've got a problem. (I think he got suspicious a few months ago.) Even though he hasn't said anything directly, the way he words certain things makes me wonder. (And nervous.) It didn't help that tonight over dinner (I'd only had 1 drink at that point) he was asking me about some things I'd said recently and I had no idea, I mean, no idea whatsoever about what he was talking about. I've blacked out a whole conversation from the other night. I remember speaking on the phone for an hour but I can't recall any of the conversation. I had a very hard time bluffing when he asked me certain things, referencing our conversation, and basically I came across like either a liar or a lunatic or both. Anyways. Hello to you all and I hope to be here more often and get through this. I'm genuinely much happier when I'm on the wagon.

[change=freedom]

Newbies Nest

Ha! Just poured half a litre of vodka down the drain and half a litre of water down my throat. Time to take control and stop snivelling.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

change=freedom;1427981 wrote: Ha! Just poured half a litre of vodka down the drain and half a litre of water down my throat. Time to take control and stop snivelling.

Nice one! That's the way to do it. How you doing change?

Almost - well, almost there? Hope so. You are doing such an amazing job as so many have commented. You really are to be congratulated at how you are able to hold up, not drink and battle on. Glad you enjoyed the Big Mac - sometimes it's good ol'cheap shite fast food that really does hit the spot!!

Hey Dottie, NewOne, Slay, Star, and everyone else velcro'd in. Stay strong.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi RC,

Back now,........ all done. I was amazed at how much he didn't want to go. He has always been the most resistant to change of all the family. That goes way back to his earliest years. Almost pathological about it. He was really, really nervous about all the changes; new place, strange people, everything different. Unfortunately, he always reacts to stress and anxiety with anger and hostility. Lashes out.

But by the time we had to say goodbye, he wasn't lashing out. He was like a little kid, who just wanted to go back to the safety of his familiar home. I felt sad for him, even though this morning, all I wanted was him OUT. I don't know how much the drugs stunted his psychological growth, but he is more like a 14 year old than a 21 year old. Very immature.

I know he has to make this move for his own good, but you hate to see your children unhappy. You want them to always feel happy and safe. Especially if it's something you never had yourself. Even if they are total jerks sometimes. God, I feel so sad right now.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

P.S. Good job Change! Not many people could have done what you did.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Change ........well done you! What have you been up to?

Hi Arsey ........ Still kicking arse I see! :H

Almost Free......so glad that is over!
Glad you liked the link....a lot don't realise how complex the changes we have made in our bodies and how much has to be put right.

Keep strong nesters, and Slay....keep that man out and stay safe :l

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

I have never posted. I'm tired. I want to quit. I drink all night and wake up panicked and disappointed in the wee hours of the morning, swearing I won't drink again. But by 5:00 I'm starting again with all kind of rationalizations. The drinks seem to go down so fast now. I don't even think I taste them. Who does that???? Words of wisdom?

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

I can... yes you can do it....everyone goes through different experiences with both drinking and packing it in....just dont give in..can I suggest you look in the toolbox? there is some belting ideas in there...urge surfing is what I found really helpful...even if it means writing things down till your arm is dropping off...also the 2 articles by sober visitor ..junkies promise and why I like alcohol..or similar title...Ihave copies of them on my phone, in my wallet and also in my car...thankfully they have kept me safe for the last 5 months plus...so go for it..all I would say is you need to be committed to doing it