Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Actually sat on the floor and played games with the kiddos and husband tonight instead of drinking !! Overit- I so relate to the trying to sneak another one while everyone is in the same room... Actually slam cabinets to hide pop of beer can! Wash extra loads so I can fold n drink in laundry room... Good luck all thx for warm welcome

Ican

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi New Day,

Don't be discouraged. Like you said, you had more AF days than in the last 10-15 years. That's great. 'Progress, not perfection', as they say in AA. It's amazing how easily that can happen. Just stay with us and believe me, you are not the first one on here to not get it the first time. Some of us have more Day 1s than we can count. The important thing is to just keep moving forward. Back on the horse and all that.

Well, It was freezing and raining hard today, so I called and offered my son a ride home from work, (he walks to work, home and back for lunch and back home again). When I picked him up, he was very down and depressed. Forgot his umbrella, too. Well, we ended up getting a pizza and eating it in the car (with the heater on) and some Coke. I was amazed at the change in attitude! He was so grateful, so many thank yous, how much he appreciated it, even thanked me that I had gotten him a good warm coat. He thought maybe we could 'hang out' again soon. Even gave me a hug when I said goodbye. Is this the same kid?!?

I'm thinking he's feeling lonely and glad I didn't just tell him good riddance and don't ever call me again. (Which is how I felt yesterday morning!) God, was it only yesterday? It seems like a week ago! I'm going to enjoy the good feelings tonight, along with being glad I'm still sober.

I hope I don't have to eat my words tomorrow; it seems like every time there is a good development and I am feeling optimistic, something happens to ruin it all. Not really 'something' happens, usually, it's something HE does (or doesn't do) that ruins it. Anyway, going to enjoy it tonight. I know that he was much happier when I dropped him back off at his place, and that makes me happy, too.

Well, it's pretty late. Think I'll call it a day. Thank you all for your good thoughts, prayers and wishes. I truly believe they made a difference. Hugs to all of you!

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

I'm delighted things went so well for you almost and well done on having the strength to stay AF.I hope you are as proud of yourself as we are of you.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Almost - what a warming post. I hope this is the beginning of better relations between you and your boy. Amazing how things can seem to change in 24 hours. Thanks for sharing :l :h

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Thanks so much Patrick and RC. Sure didn't expect anything like THAT happening! To have an normal conversation...... Well, even if it doesn't last, it feels good tonight. Thank you all for your support. It was a huge relief to be able to share what was going on with me. (I'm sure people are probably sick of hearing it!) I really appreciate it.
Goodnight and thanks!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Almost free, glad things turned out so nicely for you. Keep yours fingers crossed that he continues to blossom & grow on his own - it's entirely possible.

Caper, you are entitled to disagree with me. I am just trying to tell people how & why I succeeded in navagating the holidays AF. If you have any positive experience to share, please do so.

Wishing you all a great AF Tuesday.
Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey all....I regret that I haven't been here to offer support lately - yes, there is lots going on here with hubby working at home the next couple of weeks - but it has felt good to take a break. We are hosting the family party this year and it involves overnight guests - after Christmas - so I have lots to do....and in addition, I am thinking ahead and anticipating feeling stressed and having thoughts of drinking. For me, it seems enough to recognize that I would most likely end up ruining the entire get together - be sick the next day when we'd still have guests - not be able to handle feeding them or anything....so drinking won't be an option to take the edge off. (yeah, right - the edge off...) I WILL find time to do my workouts - to keep myself on an even keel - and I will use my calming supps if needed. And when it's all over, I will be so extremely pleased with myself, for this will be my first Christmas where this might feel "normal". Last year, was kind of experimental as I was only a few months into my quit. I just have to keep it real - keep remembering that things aren't all rosy and festive when I drink.

Byrdie, I'm so sorry that you're sick...feel better soon.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Day 1 begins again

Yes, I had a few glasses of wine last night, so my count begins today. I am pleased that I managed more AF days than I have for several years. I was upset last night that I ruined "the count"..... But I'm okay with that now......I feel I can at least give it another run and not go back to the night after night of drinking.

Almost......so glad to hear you had a great conversation with your son. That hug he gave you felt wonderful I'll bet! I hope this is a turning point for him.

On with the day!

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Lavande-I am not really even thinking about drinking over the Holidays. I'm breaking the habit which includes changing my thoughts. I don't want to constantly think about AL. I rarely do and it's only been 7 days. Right now, taking my AB doesn't even allow it. It comes across, I acknowledge it, and wipe it away. BE GONE!
New Day-It's a New Day!
Almost-keep that warm and cozy feeling close. But, are you going to visit him daily? Maybe you both need a litle space, whether you like it or not.
Patrick-I loved that Bob Newhart skit. LOVED IT!

Day 7 here and feeling great. Have a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Bleh...there is a riot going on in my tummy... chills and then sweats (like the old drinking days!) Glad to see everyone's progress... Remember, drinking is always a choice, nobody gets us down on the floor and pours it in...I know it's hard to say no, but look where saying 'yes' all the time landed us? Stay strong everyone, you won't regret it... B

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
I’ve missed the nest sooooo much!!!
Without saying much, I had a great 4 months of sobriety and then messed it all up!
I miss it!! I go 3-4 days and then drink again.
Last night was not fun. I ran out and could not drive anywhere. So, it was me staring at the ceiling. Could not believe how soon you can go right back from where you started!
If it is 2, 7, 70, or 7000 days- you guys are doing great!
I just wanted to start posting again. It helped a lot the previous time.
I see some familiar names and it makes me smile.
Till tomorrow.
SH

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

One of the best things about not drinking is being about to make plans and actually keep them! I've got all kinds of stuff going on for Christmas (visiting friends and family), and I would not be able to keep those plans if I were drinking!

Byrdie - sending healthy vibes your way. Get well! :getwell:

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1428789 wrote: One of the best things about not drinking is being about to make plans and actually keep them! I've got all kinds of stuff going on for Christmas (visiting friends and family), and I would not be able to keep those plans if I were drinking!

Definitely! I was soooo unreliable when I was drinking, cancelling all the time and making up countless excuses to bail out of things.

I had a really nice afternoon today. I'm getting married in August next year and went to get measured up for my wedding dress. Talking of cancelling appointments - the first time I was to go see the woman a couple of months ago about my dress, I re-arranged because I was too hungover, the 2nd time I made it but was soooo hungover and felt horrid.

Today, I was fresh as a daisy and I left the woman's place feeling elated that I had chosen my dress and it was ordered up. No doubt if I was still drinking, today's appointment would have been re-arranged at least once.

xxxx

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters.

Almost, happy to hear about the good moment with your son. I had a nice afternoon with my daughter as well. The love we have for our children is soooooo strong. His behavior sounds about right. His fear is great. Reading your struggles with your son is much more common than you probably know or can imagine. For each of us parents, those bad times can be so hard to take, but I see and hear the same struggles with so many.

Slaythefear...it can be such an enemy to us all.

Short on time, but wishing you all strength and courage today.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey Steady Hands- so good to see you again: l

Sorry you are having a tough time of it, but we all understand where you are and want to help you get to where you want to be. We all help each other around these parts, you know. So- settle back in and make yourself comfy- this is a great place to spend the holidays!

Byrdie- been so worried about you and miss you terribly! Don't worry about passing out any awards right now- I got your back- just like you got my buns lotsa times :thanks:

R.C. Love your new avatar

Well, gang, I really hate to even say this, because I don't want to discourage anyone, but I do want to share my experience, hoping it may help someone else.

Today is day 79 for me (I haven't really been keeping count anymore and I even had to look on the calendar to figure it out) and over the past couple of days I have had some really close calls. In fact, yesterday afternoon I came "this close" to stopping to get a drink on my way home.

All the stinkin drinkin thoughts have been there. Thoughts I have not really been bothered with since the first week or so and even some thoughts that had NEVER bothered me before- like it all being so unfair that I can't drink like everyone else- I don't usually let that one get to me- but it did.

Like R.C. said, part of it is the season with the lights and the parties and all the festivities, etc. Part of it is the stress of the season (and you all know about that) and part of it is the horror the state our country and our world is in and part of it is just plain personal family stuff- Anyway- as you know, those are all pretty strong triggers- Triggers that we ALL share- BUT, what I allowed myself to do it to get to the point of dwelling, for just a few seconds on just how good that drink would taste and just how good that numbness would feel and how I could have JUST ONE (YEAH RIGHT)- and no one would know, yada, yada, yada- I even started questioning how much longer I could go on like this (being sober)

WRONG!!!! WRONG!!!! WRONG!!!! This is the kind of thinking that leads right back to drinking and the last time I let this kind of thinking in, I ended up ruining a 3-year streak of sobriety and taking over 4 years to get back on the wagon.

I resisted the urge. It was NOT EASY. It was SCARY and still is, but this is how I did it.

First of all, I had the sense to tell myself that I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT stop at just one. And that I COULD NOT, WOULD not let it be ?just for today?. One day of letting myself go would lead to another and another and the cycle would begin again and 4 years down the road I would be in the same boat I was in 80 days ago. I don?t want that. I also thought of all of you and of having to tell you what happened. I started trying to think of alternative drinks- like a giant diet limeade from SONIC (which I didn?t get).

While I was doing all this thinking,
I managed to get on the interstate (away from all the convenience stores). This was done by sheer willpower- but it bought me 15 minutes of time. By the time I got to the town I live in, I was over the ?manic? phase of wanting a drink and was able to think more clearly. I went on home and decorated my Christmas Tree. I was fine. I am fine. I will be fine. Thanks to all of you!

Probably the best thing that came out all of this was something that didn?t even occur to my while I was in the ?throes? of wanting my drink yesterday and it was the fact that when I got home, I was able to give a big Happy Birthday Kiss to my sweet daughter- without the shame, guilt and remorse that would have been there if I had even had one drink. She would have known. She ALWAYS knew and I hurt her more times than I want to know. How hurtful that would have been to her for her to have discovered- on her birthday- that ONCE AGAIN- her mom had disappointed her! NOT WORTH IT!!!

?I know it's hard to say no, but look where saying 'yes' all the time landed us?- from the wise words of the one and only Byrdlady!

Love you all so much and thanks for listening!