Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dammit, New Day, that stinks! What an inconvenient expense! I'm so sorry that happened to you....back in February, I was in line at the Chick Fil A and the guy in front of me BACKS up and hits me! Who backs up in a drive thru??? What a pain, at least it was his insurance, but it was my car! and my time...and a pain, so I'm sorry! But I'm so happy to see you posting about it instead of drinking AT it. Well done!!
Merry, I didn't get a chance to say hello! Glad you are here!!! I need to back up and read more carefully...all the flushing was interfering with my reading comprehension...Byrdie

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Evening nesters,

Byrdie - good to see you back and posting. Hope you've flushed the worst of it outta ya. And good post below - the reminder of how we used to drink. I'm still to close - WAY to close - to my drinking days that the power of the marketing peeps is still very strong. At work there's a San Miguel banner plastered right across the bar CRYING OUT for us all to RELAX and settle down and enjoy ourselves. I don't hang around. I finish work and try to go. Get home. Eat. Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. YET, how i drank? I drank with gluggling my mum's gin when no one was looking, I drank nightly alone in my room, I drank a couple of beers before going to my folks - WHY?! - and then find myself a bit beswitched during through the meal and forgetting the start of the sentence half way through it, like "I was just going to say that I...ehm...I um....I..." I thought about everything in terms of drink - of where i lived, of where i could get a job, of who i could visit on holiday (I have a friend in Germany who is t-total and I used to think I couldn't stay with her, it'd be no fun if I can't get a few drinks in me of an evening)... It's bonkers.

Anyway - youse are doing grand. Keep lorrying :H Oh, ok, doesn't quite have the same kick to it as Keep trucking.

RC

Byrdlady;1429566 wrote: So true, Kuya...drinking is a perfectly acceptable practice in society, even encouraged!! I was thinking about something RC said the other day about a whiskey commercial he'd seen. He was perplexed as to why it made him want whiskey when that wasn't his poison of choice! I may have seen that same commercial last night...It was a dark background...the largest, squarest, sexiest-looking ice cube I've ever seen in a small, simple glass. It occupied 80% of the glass, I'd say.....they could have poured lighter fluid in it and it would have looked good! Those marketing people are MASTERS! Don't fall for it....after all, that's not how I drank, how bout you? I drank in my closet from a box of wine, or in the bathroom stall with bottles hidden in my purse or carry on bag. I drank quickly and frantically...there was nothing sexy about the way I drank. This is what I keep in the front of my mind. Stay strong, Nesters...just a couple more weeks to go and we're out of the deep water! If you could just see how much better life is with this kind of distance...you'd never even consider 'trying' it again. I wish I could give you that gift of experience and time, but I can't. I have struggled, too and no one could prevent me from making some of the mistakes I did. I thought I was different, but what I see from being here so long is that we really aren't that different at all. Addiction is addiction. And in our world, one is too many. Well done everyone! Byrdie

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

NEWS FLASH

I LIKE EGG NOG WITHOUT RUM IN IT! Who knew? It is really good. It is a light egg nog so not too many calories and not as thick. A little nutmeg sprinkled on top. It is a thing of beauty.

Another thing I have discovered, I LIKE TONIC WITHOUT THE GIN! Who knew?

Happy birthday Lav from me and Stella. I hope you had a great day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Stella (the party girl) & I would like to say Thanks for all the BD wishes today

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

A new beginning

Hi Nesters

Lav - Hope you had a great day.

Just love all the posts on the previous page. That is REALLY good stuff to remember!!

I was caught off guard the first time I quit drinking by how people reacted to me not drinking. I was disgusted to realize that I only knew and surrounded myself with other addicts. My family was the weirdest! My mom continued to avoid me even after I told her I started drinking again.

And then? it was like flood gates that opened up. Friends started inviting me again, my sister showed up any time for a ?chat? and my mom used me as an excuse to overindulge?

That made me crave sobriety!!!

This time I accept that I will be avoided and NOT take it personally.
I accept the weight I will gain.
I accept that feeling a bit depressed is part of my brain?s recovery.
I accept that I am an alcoholic. Realized it long ago, but struggled to accept it!:exclaim::exclaim:

Sooooooooo? here goes? Day 1!

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

well done and good luck.stick with it and this could be the best christmas you ever had.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

SteadyHands - great post!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Steady hands.....people sure don't like the mirror held up to them do they?

I would rather have ONE sober friend then 20 drunk ones. They are always them and sober I am always me.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about peer pressure and how it affects our decisions about drinking. Unfortunately, peer pressure doesn't just happen in high school. It's alive and well for me, even in my 40s.

I used to think I didn't care what other people thought about me, but that is so not true. And when it comes to drinking, oh it gets so complicated. What will other people think if I don't drink tonight? What will my co-workers think if I don't go have a beer with them after work? Will I fit in at the party if I don't drink? What kind of lie should I make up about me not drinking? I wonder if people know about my drinking problem?

I think the real epiphany in this whole journey to sobriety is when you finally realize that all that pressure about what other people think is gone. Are we really so important that people are out there losing sleep over whether we drank at the party? Do people REALLY care what's in your glass? Are we THAT important in other people's eyes?

Probably not.

Over the holidays, I will try to minimize those "peer pressure" thoughts in my head and keep the real goal in mind - stay sober. As Brydie says, don't drink NO MATTER WHO AND NO MATTER WHAT!

Have a great sober day, everyone!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Rooni, it's so true - other people really are not losing sleep about our choice to not drink. I think all that so called peer pressure is just part of the denial we need to break thru to finally get to acceptance

SH, good to see you again - stick around

Good morning to everyone, Sendingg wishes for a terrific AF Thursday for one & all!

Lav

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Nanette I love tonic and lime. I got home last night totally wiped out after a long and successful holiday concert. Full house, 2 hour concert. I was fantasizing about a cold G&T. Instead I made myself a tall cold tonic with lime and it was just as delicious and satisfying plus today I can claim 107 days instead of day 1. For me the longer I go AF the more I want to stay AF. I soooo do NOT want to go back to day 1! So good for us. Woot!

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

nurdl;1429827 wrote: Nanette I love tonic and lime. I got home last night totally wiped out after a long and successful holiday concert. Full house, 2 hour concert. I was fantasizing about a cold G&T. Instead I made myself a tall cold tonic with lime and it was just as delicious and satisfying plus today I can claim 107 days instead of day 1. For me the longer I go AF the more I want to stay AF. I soooo do NOT want to go back to day 1! So good for us. Woot!

I know what you mean. I am actually finding days where I think..."Hey I didn't think about AL today. Cool. I buy a whole lime, cut it up and put it in a zip lock bag in the freezer. Then I always have one for my tonic. Just a little tip. I also do the same with lemons for my herbal teas.

Steady - Great post. Thank you.

Have a great day everyone!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Something RC said struck a chord with me...about in the past not wanting to spend time with non drinkers. Wow, I was so guilty of that. And I really really really did not want to become that person - the one that others think it's "not fun" to visit because they don't drink. I fought it tooth and nail. I had the image of the person that always offered you wine when you visited - no matter the time of day! The one who - when she visits others - ALWAYS accepts a drink - (thus probably validating the host's desire to have one too...at least that's how I felt when I offered drinks..."please say yes, please say yes...")

And I still do struggle a bit sometimes with wanting to go back there, especially at this time of year. But #1 - tthere were only a handful of people who actually did join in with me and even fewer who kept up with my pace. #2 - if I'm honest with myself, in recent years, I ended up making most people uncomfortable with the offers, and with the amount I drank. and #3 - this is all about priorities. I refuse to live my life according to others' expectations. My priorities include my sobriety, my child, my family, my health. Without the first, the rest will suffer. Those who need me to be drinking to feel comfortable themselves...are the ones who have problems themselves...and my heart goes out to them, because I truly understand where they are. This year, I am going to work on finding other ways to make them feel comfortable around non drinking me....Last year, I was still a bit shaky and I am pretty sure I ended up getting kind of "annoyed" back at them for being uncomfortable.

So even at this point, my 'plan' is evolving.

cool.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

lola - your post is a nice followup to my earlier post. Once we get past worrying about how others perceive us as nondrinkers - while simultaneously focusing on our sobriety and our responsibilities - we are truly on the right path. Easier said than done, but it's possible, and the longer we go AF, the more we put things into the right perspective

My sobriety is about ME and the people I love, not about my drinking buddies and what they think about me.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters...some really thought-provoking posts here....When everything else fails, remember....It's YOUR liver, not theirs. I wouldn't be holding my breath for a donation if the time ever came to need another one. It's your life. In the grand scheme of things, this IS survivial...we ARE in the fight of our lives, and what some snippy busybody says about my NOT drinking doesn't concern me in the least. This is about ME first for a change. It's great to see this conversation...the one of ACCEPTANCE....that's what held me back for so many years. Well done everyone...stay strong! Byrdie