Newbies Nest

[sweetpea29]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all

Have to be quick as my Dad is hovering in background! Its a lovely rainy day in my world. Waking up to day 11 tho so i dont care what the weather is at!
Its hard to remember all the names, but thankyou all for sharing.

Nanette, love all flowers! But sweetpea were the first flower i was able to grow from seed when first moved into my house and the scent was amazing, so they have a special place in my heart!

Wishing everyone a happy Monday
will try get back later when have some privacy

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Congrats on your 11 AF days sweetpea!

Nanette, there are tons of free guided meditations on the internet. Go to www.chopra.com
Also you tube, etc.
I think you'll find them relaxing, I know I do

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday!
Lav

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

good morning nest, day 3 here, i won't stop trying though. I will beat this thing this year. It is only the 7 of jan so I can still be sober all year! Off to work just wanted to say hi and have a great day all!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to Everyone ......starting day 7 today.....so nice to wake up AL free. Today I am going to go to the fitness club ....I had planned to go to the gym, but a friend asked me to take her place in tennis. I haven't played since last March when my grandson was born and was looking forward to it. Then as soon as I got out of bed I must have twisted wrong and now my back is sore. Darn! Icing it now and hopefully it will loosen up in the next couple of hours.
Take care everyone.....especially of yourself!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning....just grabbing some inspiration here this morning...:-) Nice to have you back Byrdie.:h

I was doing the same kind of random thinking about sobriety this weekend...I always have my most profound thoughts when I can't get on the computer....then they're gone. pfffft.

I do remember though....talking with a friend about how she was feeling "under the weather" on NY Day....I know her and I know she did not get rip roaring drunk the night before - but she did have some wine. She still did not feel up to working out the next day and started the year off on a low note.

This led me to thinking about how this is a strong motivator for lots of people. Feeling better physically....no more hangovers. And while I do think it's a really strong motivator to stop, I think a much stronger one for me is my mental and emotional well being. Again, here I go, and I'm already anticipating not being able to get my thoughts out clearly, but I'll give it a whirl.

It feels so great to have energy to work out - to look in the mirror and like what I see - to sleep decent at night - But, at some point there is something that "clicks"....a different outlook appears - you see things differently. You can be sober and feel good physically and still not have your mind looking at things positively. After a certain amount of time, you realize that you are just more positive without alcohol. And if you've ever gone BACK down the road, you know how fast that negative spin returns. I DO remember - because I make a point to - what it was like when I went back. That I quickly felt that hopeless, helpless, slightly (at first) out of control feeling come back. Even if I wasn't drinking daily or drinking to the point of having hangovers. That spring when I started back up - there just seems to be a fog over everything in my memory...and there really was. And I just drank lightly at first. I remember getting a bottle of white wine and only having half of it....while painting my kitchen. So I wasn't getting trashed and feeling huge physical effects

I don't know - it's just a striking difference in my outlook on life, in general - when I was drinking - even in so called moderation.

My life today is so different. I have my ups and downs, but I never feel just down and out - like I just don't have a choice....like the world is out to get me.

That is what alcohol does to you. If you're feeling that way and that's why you keep going back - try to remember that your "cure" is actually the "cause" of those feelings....and all it takes is time.

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

"That is what alcohol does to you. If you're feeling that way and that's why you keep going back - try to remember that your "cure" is actually the "cause" of those feelings....and all it takes is time." - lolab

Love this. Thank you for your thoughts.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gosh, Lola, you did a pretty good job of getting that out. You've got to give Time time. THAT is 90% of half the battle (mom-ism). You are so right, you truly can't see it while you are in it.

I also realize that this is just about the time that new newbies tune out (like I did). "What do these old timers know?" "They've FORGOTTEN what it's like these first few days" "They don't remember the hell in the head". "They are over the hump, they've got it made now". May I speak for myself when I say, oh yes I do understand. I hear the same voices you do. EVERY DAY. I just know how to shut them up instead of listening to what they say. Those voices still tell me the same lies. Like Rooni is hearing...'this time will be different' 'you know what to expect and you can HANDLE it'. But unfortunately, this is the voice and power of Addiction. These are the skills we need to cope with those voices. If you think for one minute I don't understand what Day 1 folks are going thru you are sadly mistaken. I could be there tomorrow...and that is always in the back of my head. I must be vigilant.

I am asked all the time, 'Why do you stay in the nest?' and the answer is simple. I need the reinforcement of The Battle of Day 1. I never want to face that again. I want to help other people get past that, too. Nothing is worse than Day 1, except perhaps the night before when the writing is on the wall. I stay here because of people like Lav who helped me....other long termers would fly in and say how wonderful being sober was, but they didn't tell me how the hell to do it. I never forget the struggle and the voices of Day 1. I hope I never do, either. It's like learning not to touch a hot stove, it will burn you. AL was killing me in every way....I must stay away from it completely. And I've noticed this among the long termers....they do not flirt with it at all. I'm good with that. I don't have to get up close and personal. I do not need AL to live, function, be happy or socialize. It's just NOT important anymore. THIS TAKES TIME TO HAPPEN.

So get that 30 day investment going. Like Lola says, it doesn't have control any more...that is PEACE. Stay strong and fight your way to it. It is worth it. XO, Byrdie

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Nicely put Byrdie.....glad you are back and I hope you take care of yourself......emotional times will hit you for the next little while and it can be tough. So many people are here for you, as you are for them. Thank you

[Breezy Momma]

Newbies Nest

Day 5

Good morning! Day 5 for me and feeling good! I downloaded Kick the Drink Easily last night and am finding it very interesting. Can hardly wait to read more later! Gotta walk my dog and open my business first! Will get back to it later this afternoon. My kids are back to school this am after Xmas break as well. Here we go!!! A new year!!!

Have a great AF day all!!!

:thanks:

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Lola - your words ring so true and familiar for me. I've been thinking a lot about the mental consequences of drinking....

What does a hangover mean to me? It means complete mental anguish. It means a descendence into a pit of self-loathing and self-hatred. It means unbearable feelings of guilt, shame, remorse (those GSR brothers) and downright despair. It means feeling of being trapped in my own skin which in turn is trapped inside a prison of negativity, anxiety, and pure panic. It means AWFUL!

I've often wondered if my ensuing menopause has made my mental hangovers worse over the last few months. I mean, gosh, I've always felt bad mentally after drinking, but now I can barely stand it! That's why I tend to start drinking again the next day - that's the only way I can stand to be around myself!

The physical hangover is NOTHING compared to the mental hangover.

And I know that these feelings of hating myself are all about alcohol and nothing else. When I've gone several days without that poison, I don't have those feelings at all. In fact, just the opposite! I feel good about myself, and I like what I see in the mirror. I see a good person with a lot of goals and ambition in life.

God, the mental torture is just not worth it anymore!

Thanks for posting that, Lola!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning to All,

Day 7 for me and I feel so blessed!! I'm back to school this morning, so I only have a few minutes to say hello. I will write again later (before the professors have a chance to assign endless hours of homework). BTW, it is delightful to be at school and be clear-headed. It is nothing short of a miracle.

I can't stop thinking about Byrdie's post (yesterday evening) about CHOOSING. There's so much I want to say about our ability to choose. Byrdie - thank you so much for the care and support that you give to those of us just starting this journey. You are a gem!!

Lav - you are a gem too!! I am so happy that you choose to spend time with a Newbie such as myself.

Okay, off to class...

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Home, Byrdie :l we missed you, but we kept your "easy chair" all warmed up for you while you were away!

I am so excited to be able to award several full moons this morning to some of our hardworking nestmates!!!

Kairos :moon:

Tess :moon:

New Day :moon:

Dottie :moon:

Honeysoup :moon:

What a fine job you all are doing! We are so proud of you! Seven Days Alcohol-Free is AWESOME, and we realize how difficult it is and want to congratulate you! You have faced every day of the week (actually of the year) and shown that beast, AL just who is boss! You have also shown your nestmates how strong you are! 2013 is going to be a great year for you.....just remember to continue to stick to your plan, and "protect your quit just like it is gold" (Byrdie). You are working hard for the prize, which is your sober self- don't loose site, No matter what, no matter who!

Stick close
XOXO

[belles]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1439842 wrote: What does a hangover mean to me? It means complete mental anguish. It means a descendence into a pit of self-loathing and self-hatred. It means unbearable feelings of guilt, shame, remorse (those GSR brothers) and downright despair. It means feeling of being trapped in my own skin which in turn is trapped inside a prison of negativity, anxiety, and pure panic. It means AWFUL!

The physical hangover is NOTHING compared to the mental hangover.

God, the mental torture is just not worth it anymore!

Thanks Lola, Byrdie and Rooni for the thoughts and the above quote from Rooni which nails it on the head for me. I NEVER want to feel the mental anguish of a hangover again.

And Byrdie - you're so right the very idea of drinking just cannot be on the table. End of Story.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday. Day 14 for me today...:h

[Kairos]

Newbies Nest

Just want to say big up and hello to fellow newbies on their 7th day- Tess New Day Dottie and Honeysoup and any others I might have missed! Belles- I see you've been here since Xmas. Well done.
I feel so good today. My detox head is better and I slept a little bit better last night for the first time in months-not great but better. It'll be a slow process probably.
As you said so well Lolab -it's so good to be without the mental guilt and all that goes with it. I am getting to like myself a bit better today today too. Tough times ahead no doubt but hanging on and feeling positive. Starfish thanks for the moonies! I really hpe we can all keep each other buoyed up for success.
XKairos

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

A HUGE congratulations to all the 7 day-ers! I got quite an eyefull of moons so I know there is some serious butt kicking going on around here! Keep it up...it gets easier.

Lola and Rooni - I have to agree that the mental hangovers were way worse than the physical ones. I was getting to the point where I couldn't even look myself in the eye the "day after" because I was so ashamed of my behavior. The relief of waking up and knowing exactly what you did the night before is priceless. No buzz can ever be worth that peace of mind.

Byrdie - I, too, stay in the Nest because I need to be reminded of the Day 1's and how easily any of us could slip back into the rabbit hole. Also, I hope I can offer a tidbit of wisdom here and there. lol

Lav - give Stella a big kiss for me!

Happy Monday Everyone!