Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Getting chillier outside now! Such weird winter weather anymore.

OverIt, sorry to hear about your friend. She's at peace now & you can honor her by staying on your current AF path with gratitude

Tess, I use the edit button all the time primarily to fix my dyslexic spelling goofs :H

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Overit, I'm so sorry for your loss. Just let the thoughts come and go away by themselves.
Sending you support.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

I am going to the store for a frozen pizza, some kind of filthy snack, some D-7up and then home to sit on my @ss and read a book in front of the fire. Off to bed early. Have a good night everyone.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Overit.....I too am sorry for your friend and that she lost her life to alcohol. All the more reason for us all to fight those cravings with everything we've got!
I almost caved this evening.......and recognized it was because I was worn out .....threw some l-glut under my tongue and had a cranberry juice. Now that the kitchen is cleaned up, I'm ok. Going to get into bed and read instead of drink
Safe night in the Nest everyone!

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

Over it I am sorry for your loss, tomorrow will be better I'm sure!

I'm still lurking around here. I read all the post everyday. Glad everyone is doing well and good to see you back Fin.

I am completing day 3 and am making a plan to make it past Wednesday, which I failed to pass last week. My hubby gets paid and I go do the weekly shopping on Wednesday and we eat out. It's alot of work and I guess I drink as a reward for doing it all and having to get to bed late. I am working on moving shopping day to Saturday durring the day which will make it easier but until then I will just white knuckle it through tomorrow and make sure my belly is full and try and do as little shopping as possible until the weekend.

I have realized that drinking on the way home is one of my OCD habits just like eating my snacks at 10 and 3. All I can think about is the habit until i have completed it. I also know that once I make it passed the "time" about an hour I am fine. This realization has give me power to understand the behavior so I have started laying new frame work in that I am trying to change all of my OCD habits to different times as not to draw attention to this one habit. It has really helped with the voices, turns out the voices show up anytime I expect something to happen like an eatting time or time to leave. I'm not a hand washer or a lock the door several times OCD but I get stuck on times and numbered events or the radio or tv volume having to be a certian number. Anyway, just wanted to share. I feel like i have had a realization this week.

Happy trails all!

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

ps, Lav I am also in the medical field and I am the main caretaker of my family. Your theory stand with me.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Overit....so sorry about your friend, and yes it is true for most of us drinking was our dirty little secret.
I, too, am a medical professional, a carer. I think the desire to care stems from a desire to make things right, a wish to bring order and effect some control in a chaotic world. We can't, because it is impossible, this causes us undue stress which we relieve by drug addiction.

This @ Tess..... A good friend here PMed me today suggesting that perhaps the weight and alcohol problems are a way to 'tell' our parents without ACTUALLY telling them. A kind of 'magical thinking' where they will guess there is a problem without us voicing it.
Problem is, if they couldn't see the original unreasonable demands for perfectionism, they won't see your body's cry for help either.
I like your clear acceptance of 'what is'.....your clarity with regard to being an alcoholic will be your salvation. Many reject the notion that THEY are alcoholics clinging to the hope that they 'need a break ', 'need to cut down'.
The intention here, in the nest, is 30 days sober. Since joining MWO I have yet to see ANYONE do 30 days easily. This is a clear indication of physical and psychological dependency.

[sweetpea29]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,

Overit- just wanna add my condolences to you on the sad news of your friend. Its good to hear that you resisted drinking- good woman x

Lav- yeah one of my 'reasons' for drinking was to quiet my mind after a stressful day in work. It may have helped initially but in the end left me more tired and stressed-out and therefore less able to cope with demands of work and ordinary life. I went for CBT to help with panic attacks and the guy there introduced me to mindfulness which has helped no end in stilling my mind.

Feel like pure crap this morning with head cold but have to go to work

Be well everyone xo

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, Day 14 here. Two weeks feels so good!

Overit - Along with everyone else, I want to say how sorry I am about your friend. What a tragedy and a confirmation of the evilness of alcohol. Sure, a lot of people out there can handle alcohol with no problems, but for us others, it sure is a beast. Someone said that you getting sober is the best thing you can do for your friend. If she could talk now, I'm sure she would tell you to never pick up another bottle in your entire life.

ODAT - man, those habits and routines are a bitch, aren't they? I'm in Weight Watchers too, and they are always talking about breaking bad habits by replacing them with good ones. It's so true. That's why it's so important to get 30 days or more of sober time. We need that time to break those bad habits. For me, that habit is drinking at the bar with my friends. I'm trying to socialize in other ways that don't involve drinking now. But, as we all know, that's easier said than done. I know breaking that routine will require much more than 30 days sober.

That's why you guys will continue to see me in the Nest indefinitely!

Have a great day, everyone!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Overit44;1444672 wrote: I am going to the store for a frozen pizza, some kind of filthy snack, some D-7up and then home to sit on my @ss and read a book in front of the fire. Off to bed early. Have a good night everyone.

Hi Overitt - this sounds like an excellent plan to me. It IS nurturing: junk food, a warm fire, a good book. Sounds like one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. And no AL, that's the best part of all. You are reeling from the loss of your friend. I would be too. We Nesters are with you. :hug:

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1444719 wrote:
...This @ Tess..... A good friend here PMed me today suggesting that perhaps the weight and alcohol problems are a way to 'tell' our parents without ACTUALLY telling them. A kind of 'magical thinking' where they will guess there is a problem without us voicing it.
Problem is, if they couldn't see the original unreasonable demands for perfectionism, they won't see your body's cry for help either.
I like your clear acceptance of 'what is'.....your clarity with regard to being an alcoholic will be your salvation. Many reject the notion that THEY are alcoholics clinging to the hope that they 'need a break ', 'need to cut down'.
The intention here, in the nest, is 30 days sober. Since joining MWO I have yet to see ANYONE do 30 days easily. This is a clear indication of physical and psychological dependency.

kuya - I've thought about my alcoholism and subsequent massive weight gain as being a wordless message to my parents, similar to the way that anorexia nervosa can also be a silent message of despair. There are at least two significant problems with this approach to convey a message: 1) The intended recipient does not "hear" the message, and 2) The alcoholic or anorexic gets caught in the trap of the message they are trying to send. (Something changes in the brain.) Once in the trap, it is difficult or impossible to get out. And many die trying.

I have read, as you say, that some people reject the notion that THEY are alcoholics. My experience has been nearly the opposite. I was only a few months into drinking when I began to feel a change in my "relationship" with beer. I really didn't want to continue drinking the stuff. Yet I DID want to drink it. The interior conflict was beginning to form. (This was before all of the hiding and sneaking and lying.) I thought to myself, "If alcoholism is the compulsion to drink when we really don't want to drink, then maybe I'm becoming an alcoholic." I explained my conundrum to Hubby. He outright rejected the notion that I could be in the beginning stages of alcoholism. Not Tess! But I WAS. And five years later I AM a full-blown alcoholic. It has never been difficult for me to "see" or accept that I am afflicted with alcoholism. The difficult part has been to understand WHY people develop this miserable and dangerous disease and HOW to find a way to recover from it.

My parents (and Hubby too, to some extent) are always going to expect perfection from me. They barter "love" in exchange for bragging rights. The irony is that I, too, strive for perfection, but no matter how well I do I STILL FEEL TERRIBLY FLAWED.

I AM going to make the goal of 30 days sober. Reaching that goal is taking all of the determination and courage and energy that I have in me. I often have to sit and shake and sweat and COMPEL myself to stay away from the bottle. It is the most difficult thing I've ever set out to do. But I am going to get it done.

And once healed, I will need to call upon my strength and self-love to live my ORDINARY life, the life I was born for. There really is no such thing as a perfect person, so there's no need to get stressed and be a drunk, right? :bigwink:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Absolutely Tess....off topic but before I forget, your post reminds me about the link between anorexia, bulaemia and alcoholism with regard to zinc deficiency.
Everyone here should supplement their mineral intake as alcohol strips zinc and it is very common for eating disorders to progress to alcoholism

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters!
Sorr to hear of your friend over it. I've not had a chance to go back over all posts- as I say every time this thread moves so fast!!! So just an update really-
I'm ashamed to say I had some drinks in Perth over Christmas. And even more ashamed to say I havex been drinking the last three days! Just started with a glass of red wine on Sunday at my sisters birthday and now have finished most of a bottle of gin over the last three nights. Not much compared to where I was before but need the strength to not get back in my old ways. Strange that I can do a whole year and more- but for no apparent reason I wanted to drink this week :-(

I am determined to make this a blip and not my norm. Will go back and read post and keep reading. Anyone had "blips" and can share advice?

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening/Morning to All in The Nest,

Star - Your post yesterday morning was thoughtful and helpful. I appreciate all that you do to encourage us fledglings on our journey.

Lav and Byrdie - You are awesome mentors and coaches. I love the way that you can say a lot by writing just a few words.

ODAT - Great to hear from you! I admire your honesty.

Patrick - I haven't looked at Roll Call yet, but I believe this is AF day 100 for you. Nice work! Time to celebrate!!

Sweetpea - A cold is just yucky, isn't it? Continue to take good care of yourself. Lots of fluids... (as if you don't already know that!)

rooni - Two AF weeks! Awesome!!

New Day - Getting into bed to read rather than drink is a smart move. Reading is SO MUCH MORE FUN than drinking!

ALL - This is a poem from Rumi:


Unfold Your Own Myth

Who gets up early to discover the moment light begins?

Who lets a bucket down and brings
up a flowing prophet? Or like Moses goes for fire
and finds what burns inside the sunrise?

Jesus slips into a house to escape enemies,
And opens a door to the other world.
Solomon cuts open a fish, and there's a gold ring.
Omar storms in to kill the prophet
and leaves with blessings.

But don't be satisfied with stories, how things
have gone with others. Unfold
your own myth, without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand the passage,
We have opened you.

Start walking toward Shams. Your legs will get heavy
and tired. Then comes the moment
of feeling the wings you've grown,
lifting.


Have an excellent AF Wednesday! :angel:

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Will this be day 1? Lets find out. I plan to check in hourly, with a reason not to drink.

10 till 8 and alcohol free because I woke up with a headache again this morning.