Newbies Nest

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1446058 wrote: TGIF! I actually see a bit of sunshine today, nice after a week of rain
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
Lav

Hi Lav! Yes, we had a couple of flurries in central PA then the sun popped through finally, and I feel brilliantly happy and eagerly awainting the weekend!

If you remember me back in the Spring (and way back when (2009? 2010?) I was always hating every day after work!

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1446085 wrote: Tess, I'll see your 5 years of not remembering and raise you another 5. I barely remember 2000-2010...it's just nuts to go back and look at pictures and I'm smashed in nearly all of them! I can relate...but here's the good news (and there's a lot of it)....you regain that self respect, AND your memory, AND you make new wonderful ones!! I don't remember much of of that bad 10 years, but my mind is sharp as ever now. I don't forget a thing. This came with time, tho...I'd say it took 6 months or so to stop feeling scatterbrained, but once it returned, it is in full on operation. In retrospect, my mind was one of the biggest things I missed. I hated not remembering important things and acting like I did....who was I kidding, really?

This hits me this week in my new sobriety. Every morning since, my oldest daughter (8) asks me do you remember xyz (something about last night or a few nights ago) and she looks real hard at me to see what I say. I'd usually say yes, but then have to ask a few questions to figure out what the hell she was talking about.

NOW - I say yes, then repeat what it is she is remembering about the other night. I don't think she knows what to do with me right now. I think she is confused, but I know in a few weeks, (hopefully?!) she'll have forgotten the old me, and just live in the NOW with the new me!

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1446154 wrote: Hi all, some of your posts are talking about wasted time - wasted years - even wasted decades. I understand completely. I have spent many many years drowning myself in the bottle....

But let me fill you in on something that makes me feel better about things. Surely you didn't waste every single moment of every single day, did you? I mean, you did have some positive experiences throughout it all, didn't you? I know I did.

Don't think for one second that I'm trying to sugar coat drinking. I'm not! I'm just trying to get you to focus on the good times. We can't go back and change things, so why dwell on the negative? (Of course, sometimes you want to dwell on the negative when you start having those feelings of euphoric recall).

Also, this may sound silly to some, but think of the advantage you have over the majority of people now that you are overcoming this addiction? Don't you wake up every morning with a feeling of pure joy and thankfulness now? Don't you cherish every sober moment and day now? Don't you have a renewed appreciation for life?

I'm not suggesting that people who have never had an addiction don't also have these feelings, but I'd be willing to bet that you have them more often. You've been to the other side. You've stared death square in the face. They haven't. You don't take anything for granted any more. They've never been to that dark side, so living in the light is just another day. For you, it's a blessing for which you are grateful beyond words.

Think about it....

I have thought about this all week too. You are so right! I've dwelled on lost time with my three children (8, 7 and 2) when they were little. But, I also have so many great times with them. We do a lot of fun things together! Now that they're (8 and 7) getting older, they don't "need" me as much. If I were drunk at night, I'd let them not "need" me. But now that I'm sober, I'm going to scoop em back and play board games, card games, and we're going to have some big-girl fun!

And yes, I have also think my life is different than those who never experienced addiction now that I am sober. I appreciate everything.

I just worry about the "dry drunks" like my dad, who never seem to get happy again. My dad's been sober 29 years (the same amount of time I've been drinking!), but he isn't "happy".

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

ok... I'll shut up now! I always go overboard in posting.

Have a great day!

[techie]

Newbies Nest

Have a wonderful sober weekend nesters!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good day Nesters. Rainyday, re your Dad being unhappy after giving up AL.....it may have nothing to do with not drinking. My Dad (long passed) and my father-in-law are just those typical "grumpy old men"....neither had an alcohol problem.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

I just added to my postings in General Discussion, Tell us Your Story regarding my friend. Have a read if you like.

Have a great AF day everyone.

siren-good to see you today.
ODAT-climb back up in that perch. You got through Wednesday gal. Maybe next week you can make it through Thursday.

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

This morning I told my husband that I had quit drinking. I wasn't going to, but something came up - I forget what - and I told him. He didn't say much (I guess he's heard it before).

He had off work today and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch. I said sure but I WAS working so didn't think about again until lunch time. I should have asked where we were going but I'm not used to this yet and didn't think to. I was just happy to be outside and that the sun was shining (I'm also in Central PA).

So then we pulled into one of our favorite restaurants (where, of course, they serve alcohol). Did I mention he's not all that supportive? I don't know why, but I was embarrassed to speak up. Also, I have never had more than 1 or 2 in a bar setting, so I wasn't too concerned. So we went in and the only seats available were at the high top in the bar.

We sit down and he ordered a Dortmunger (sp?) which he never had. I ordered hot tea with lemon. Our drinks arrived and he took a swig of his beer and said he liked it. The next part of the conversation went like this:

Him - That's really good ... pause ... Here try this (Did I mention he's not entirely supportive?)

Me - No Thanks

Him - Why Not?!?!

Me - Because I quit drinking!!!!!!!!!!

So we ordered our food.

Our food came and we're eating. He orders another beer. He asks me what he can do to help me (FINALLY!). I said "Stop offering me sips of your beer FFS!)".

But the real reason I'm posting this is because what typically happens when we go to places like this, something I didn't even notice until now, is that my routine would typically be to come home and start my secretive drinking after maybe only one in public. So I am going to be checking in frequently this afternoon, friends. But I feel pretty strong, I must say.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Hurdle one-check!

Good job Siren. Lots of things will come up and be your "firsts" since quitting drinking. I just keep checking them off my list so I can move on to conquer the next.

Hang in there.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good job Siren!

As Overit said, you completed your first hurdle...next time it will be easier, and the time after that, even easier, and the time after that...well you get what I'm saying!

I am happy to say I can go anywhere, anytime and not even think about drinking. I simply don't drink. I also don't smoke crack, but nobody questions that!

I did look longingly at my old liquor store last night, but then I remembered all the nights of stumbling around in there, driving there drunk, buying cigarettes again because I couldn't remember if I bought them earlier...etc, etc... then the next day I'd check my bank account and see that I'd gone there twice and I'd barely remember it.

As I looked "longingly" at the flashing neon Bud Light sign I told myself "Drinking for me isn't rainbows and butterflies...it's handcuffs, DUI's and a cellmated named Diablo". NO THANKS!

xoxoxoxo

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

So last night is kinda like byrdies day 12 story. I came home from work, changed grabed my money (i dont take any money or credit or debit cards with me to work so I CANT stop on the way home)and ran out the door like my hair was on fire. Went to the store and was drinking vodka before I could say what happened. Didnt want it didnt even think twice about it and then I was drinking it. I guess I need to lock up all my $ in my husbands car so it wont come home till 7...or I could get some self contol damn it....

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Siren - awesome job! I am mad at your husband though! I guess I'm "sort of" lucky. My husband is also a drunk, and I believe he knows it's time to quit too. He starts topamax tonight (hopefully, because I don't want him to be white knuckling it anymore... although, I think he's been secretly drinking when I go to bed. I know he's been waiting for the weekend to take the meds).

Can you just tell your husband flat out NOT to do that AGAIN?! And don't go to those places yet; you shouldn't have to even think about it or look at it!

ODAT.. sorry Thinking about you tonight!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

New Day, don't get me started on the grumpy old men thing...........I could go on forever. My grumpy old man left here nearly 3 years ago in a flood of tears refusing to admit to being chronically depressed as he was diagnosed 10 years ago He's on some meds now but it's kind of like closing the barn door after the animals are out.

odat, you chose to drink yesterday whether you realize that or not. It is always a decision, never an accident. We have to make ourselves want to not drink more than we think we want to drink. Don't give up, keep trying! Identify the thinking you had going on yesterday - there was something in your mind chatter telling you it was OK to drink. Keep trying

Rainyday, I sure hope you can get your husband on board the AF train

Hi K9, Overit, Siren & everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Siren...amazing, isn't it? When people know you are trying to do something and is it that they are testing you? or trying to sabbotage you? Not sure which, but just tell someone you are on a diet and see how fast they suggest something that you shouldn't have! Maybe it's just human nature, I don't know, but it is a fact. That's why we have each other here. Normal people don't get this thing we have. You did GREAT in holding your ground! After all, it is ALL up to us to decide the course of our future. I am so proud of you I could pop!

Overit, do you and your bag have any big plans this weekend?

Lav, so sorry about your grumpy old man....some people aren't happy until they are miserable. Or until they've made you miserable, too.

Be safe in the nest tonight all....
Where is Nanette??? I must run out and see if I can find her! I miss her smilies!! XO, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nice...I've just been invited to a WINE TASTING next door for tomorrow night!!!

I will work on an excuse not to go....I would have no trouble abstaining, but not sure I'm up to all the 'oh just one sip won't hurt you's! After all, why would an ALK go to a wine tasting? This is not the place for me and I know it.
Isn't life interesting!!! Byrdie