Newbies Nest

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

So... I went to get my hair trimmed this morning. (I'm just jumping in here, not having yet read today's posts on Newbies Nest.) Kathy has cut my hair for the past seven years. I see her about every 4 to 6 months. She is somewhat of a mother figure to me and I cherish her. I have always thought that I am one gene away from albinism. My skin is pale: 15 minutes in the sun and it is pink -- an hour in the sun and I am fried, with blisters to follow. My eyebrows are pale, my eyelashes are pale, my lips are pale -- I keep Cover Girl make-up in business... And my hair is a white-blond that hangs down to my hips. I am the opposite of what our culture deems beautiful: tanned!!

After Kathy had known me for about a year she said, "You make me think of Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight. I am going to call you Eric's blond." I hated that! (This was in the hay-day of blond jokes.) I said, "Please, don't call me 'Eric's Blond.' If you must come up with a nickname for me, just call me Eric." And we laughed. Kathy has called me Eric ever since.

When I walked into the salon this morning, Kathy said, "Eric! You look so good! What are you doing?" I told her that I was opting for a healthier lifestyle, which is true. :bigwink: Well, it is at the very least a half-truth.

It is amazing, and such a blessing, to be in the process of healing. ~

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Eric!!! You are doing amazing!

That wasn't a half-truth...that was completely the truth, you ARE opting for a healtier lifestyle...anyone drinking alcohol is not as healthy as they "could be". Even a little bit of poison does damage.

Keep up your great work and thanks for sharing your story!

:h

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

T, my hairdresser told me my hair felt thicker and was healthier than ever! She asked me what I was doing differently!! I told her it was 'clean living' and left it at that! I am so happy for you!! B

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1446391 wrote: So... I went to get my hair trimmed this morning. (I'm just jumping in here, not having yet read today's posts on Newbies Nest.) Kathy has cut my hair for the past seven years. I see her about every 4 to 6 months. She is somewhat of a mother figure to me and I cherish her. I have always thought that I am one gene away from albinism. My skin is pale: 15 minutes in the sun and it is pink -- an hour in the sun and I am fried, with blisters to follow. My eyebrows are pale, my eyelashes are pale, my lips are pale -- I keep Cover Girl make-up in business... And my hair is a white-blond that hangs down to my hips. I am the opposite of what our culture deems beautiful: tanned!!

After Kathy had known me for about a year she said, "You make me think of Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight. I am going to call you Eric's blond." I hated that! (This was in the hay-day of blond jokes.) I said, "Please, don't call me 'Eric's Blond.' If you must come up with a nickname for me, just call me Eric." And we laughed. Kathy has called me Eric ever since.

When I walked into the salon this morning, Kathy said, "Eric! You look so good! What are you doing?" I told her that I was opting for a healthier lifestyle, which is true. :bigwink: Well, it is at the very least a half-truth.

It is amazing, and such a blessing, to be in the process of healing. ~

I am proud of you. You're really doing well. I had someone at the grocery store say they almost didn't recognize me, today. They said I looked so much healthier and filled with life. I wanted to tell them that I wasn't poisoning myself with beer anymore but instead I just said "Thank you. You have no idea how much better I feel" and left it at that.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Well, it's THAT time again.....but so far very good! Kids and grandson and their dog have all left for the other grandparents' place for the weekend.....YEAH! I have my quiet house back for a day or two. So lots of stress just left the house.
My other daughter was offered tickets to a concert tonight at our local theatre, but she can't use them, so hubby and I are taking them. Can't pass up a free night out......and it will be in a theatre, so other than before and at intermission, I won't be around AL. I'm sticking a bottle of water in my purse. I hate paying $3.00 for a bottle of water at these things. (Hated paying $10 for a glass of wine too, but I did!). Boy, I'm saving a lot of money by not drinking!

Treated myself to a mini spa treatment today that my hairdresser had a January special on. I was due for cut and colour, but got a couple of other treatments thrown in too. Didn't know we were going out tonight, so the timing was just right.

Hope everyone has a lovely AF evening tonight....and we will all feel great tomorrow

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hippy.....it really does feel better than when we were constantly drugging ourselves with AL. You have done amazing with well over 100 days.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

New Day;1446408 wrote: Well, it's THAT time again.....but so far very good! Kids and grandson and their dog have all left for the other grandparents' place for the weekend.....YEAH! I have my quiet house back for a day or two. So lots of stress just left the house.
My other daughter was offered tickets to a concert tonight at our local theatre, but she can't use them, so hubby and I are taking them. Can't pass up a free night out......and it will be in a theatre, so other than before and at intermission, I won't be around AL. I'm sticking a bottle of water in my purse. I hate paying $3.00 for a bottle of water at these things. (Hated paying $10 for wine too, but I did!). Boy, I'm saving a lot of money by not drinking!

Treated myself to a mini spa treatment today that my hairdresser had a January special on. I was due for cut and colour, but got a couple of other treatments thrown in too. Didn't know we were going out tonight, so the timing was just right.

Hope everyone has a lovely AF evening tonight....and we will all feel great tomorrow

I've been putting $10 per day in a special fund for a trip somewhere or maybe something else I really want (if my girls won't let me go away from them.) I figure that I drank at least $10 per day and most days more than that. On my one year aniversary I will have $3650 saved away for something special.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

That's a great idea......if I can leave the extra cash alone long enough!....it might just disappear now and again for special treats, but I suppose that's okay too. LOL!
I'm going to start now.....I already owe the fund $180!

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Odat that is so very familiar. I would not even want the damn drink but there it would be. And when I passed out before I finished it, I would get up the next morning, come downstairs and see it, and finish it off. Disgusting, huh? I disgusted myself as I was doing it. Keep up the struggle! What was different today from yesterday? If we can figure out what the trigger was we could figure out what tools you can use for next time.

RainyDay, I was mad at him, too. But like I said he has heard it so many times before. I think he gets it now. But I will have a talk with him about what my sobriety means for the future.

Byrdie, I'm really glad my husband didn't take me to a wine tasting. I don't know what would have happened then. Can you just tell them you don't like wine? I'm not sure how much they know about your former drinking preferences.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest Dwellers,

Is everyone going to bed? :-( It's not yet 3:00 in the afternoon here.

ODAT - I'm not able to offer up any great advice. As you know, I'm just out of the starting block myself. But I have a couple of thoughts: 1) I admire your honesty. There are probably plenty of people who would have just quit posting. So keep posting!! 2) When the cravings hit hard, use butt velcro -- as Lav says. Absolutely glue yourself to your AF home. That is what I have to do. Sometimes I sit in a chair and just cry and cry. Because I want to go buy beer. Lots of beer. Oceans of beer. I want to drown in beer. But I tell myself: No, Love, we are not stepping one toe out of this house. Sorry. But those are the rules. Period. End of Story. So I cry some more. But the next day I feel stronger and happier.

Lav - Your grumpy old man still held a tender place in your heart. (Just a guess.) Yes, he had to go. No doubt about that. Still, it had to hurt a bit. And for that I am very sad and sorry. (But your adorable chicks remind you of what really matters in life. I love animals. They teach us everything we need to know.)

K9Lover - You are an absolute inspiration. Diablo... makes me laugh and cry every time I read your words. You have an inner strength that I can only wish for.

Byrdlady - I love you. You have helped me to know how to navigate the delicate balance between being "brutally honest" (as one of my brothers describes himself) and taking a more delicate approach. Yes, why would an ALK go to a wine tasting? Stay home and write to us instead. We need you! :h Where IS Nanette? I miss her!

Overit - You are my alter ego with your red hair and total attitude. The world needs redheads with total attitude! So happy that we are on this journey together.

Happy Hippy - I am very proud of you too! How are your pups?

New Day - You deserve that mini spa treatment. We need to reward ourselves for such hard work. I am completely serious! We are digging ditches in the burning sun!! It is incredibly difficult to stay away from alcohol. So we need and deserve special rewards for our efforts.

Okay -- so if you're All going to bed now -- I will bid you a lovely goodnight. I'm going to take a bubble bath. :bath2:

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Rainyday;1446189 wrote: ok... I'll shut up now! I always go overboard in posting.

Have a great day!

Rainyday - Please don't shut up! I go overboard with posting much more than you do. That's okay. Nesters are free to skip our posts if they want to. We need to post. It's part of the healing process. Write away. We need you!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

To ODAT and those struggling to get past the first days on days and when they see people getting congrats on reaching multiple days and think it came easy............... I pulled this post up for you.......it might help you through these early days......I hope so

KY


I see you keep falling over at day 2 or 3. I assume you know from everyone here that the first seven days are the worst, but of course you don't really KNOW how much better you will feel so there is no incentive to stick it out cos your brain is screaming

DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK

You read my previous post of 23 years of failed day ones. Sometimes my work meant I would go 2 nights AF and they were sleepless and I felt exhausted but I couldn't understand why they were actually not too bad. Then I would have day 3, promise myself that if I could do 2 nights working I could do a third, fourth, fifth FOR ME. But I never could because I had convinced myself it was too hard, I needed to sleep yadda yadda yadda.

I eventually made myself so sick and tired that I knew I was gonna die if I kept this half a bottle of vodka a day habit going. So I got my son and his girlfriend to move back in, had a big song and dance about it, set up umpteen safety nets and started the first quit of my life.

I started that first week in absolute terror, convinced that by day 3 or 4 or 5 at the latest I was going to be having DTs, hospitalized or a basket case in some way. Those first 5 days were hard, mostly because I was holding my breath , waiting for all hell to break loose.

Truth is by day 5 I felt fine, tired and a little out of body aching but my days were AWESOME I was sober! The feelings some describe as cravings are, IMHO better described as simply your body shedding alcohol. Your brain knows from years of practice that you can reverse this process and stop the pain by drinking alcohol. Your poor brain, the primitive part doesn't know that it will stop in a few days. Your poor alcohol sodden primitive brain only knows how to stop it NOW..... BY DRINKING MORE ALCOHOL.

This is where you ladies are at, the alcohol leaving is causing you fear, no pain just FEAR. This is your battle, to stick it out cos your intellect brain has the benefit of US people telling you it WILL stop.

But you wanna know what hurts most is when I look at my sons who had to grow up watching me suffer and helpless to stop me.......

I HAD JUST WASTED 23 YEARS OF MY FECKING LIFE FOR FEAR OF ONE WEEK OF DISCOMFORT

So ladies ...get back on your horses and start again,Please

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1446154 wrote: Hi all, some of your posts are talking about wasted time - wasted years - even wasted decades. I understand completely. I have spent many many years drowning myself in the bottle....

But let me fill you in on something that makes me feel better about things. Surely you didn't waste every single moment of every single day, did you? I mean, you did have some positive experiences throughout it all, didn't you? I know I did.

Don't think for one second that I'm trying to sugar coat drinking. I'm not! I'm just trying to get you to focus on the good times. We can't go back and change things, so why dwell on the negative? (Of course, sometimes you want to dwell on the negative when you start having those feelings of euphoric recall).

Also, this may sound silly to some, but think of the advantage you have over the majority of people now that you are overcoming this addiction? Don't you wake up every morning with a feeling of pure joy and thankfulness now? Don't you cherish every sober moment and day now? Don't you have a renewed appreciation for life?

I'm not suggesting that people who have never had an addiction don't also have these feelings, but I'd be willing to bet that you have them more often. You've been to the other side. You've stared death square in the face. They haven't. You don't take anything for granted any more. They've never been to that dark side, so living in the light is just another day. For you, it's a blessing for which you are grateful beyond words.

Think about it....

This is beautiful, rooni!! Thank you for all of the thought that you put into it. Yes, we DO have a renewed appreciation for life. And we are absolutely grateful beyond any words.

Blessings to you on this lovely Friday evening. ~

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1444811 wrote: Absolutely Tess....off topic but before I forget, your post reminds me about the link between anorexia, bulaemia and alcoholism with regard to zinc deficiency.
Everyone here should supplement their mineral intake as alcohol strips zinc and it is very common for eating disorders to progress to alcoholism

kuya - I forgot to tell you that I've increased my zinc supplement. Last night my husband said, "Tess, you are eating so much better." I wasn't sure what he meant, so I asked. He said, "You are eating. I can hardly remember when you just, simply, ate."

It's the little things, yes? Drink water. Eat good food. Keep good company. Take a little extra zinc... :happy:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1446470 wrote: kuya - I forgot to tell you that I've increased my zinc supplement. Last night my husband said, "Tess, you are eating so much better." I wasn't sure what he meant, so I asked. He said, "You are eating. I can hardly remember when you just, simply, ate."

It's the little things, yes? Drink water. Eat good food. Keep good company. Take a little extra zinc... :happy:

It amazes me how these little disturbances in chemistry can cause such huge destruction of function. We are a very complex machine and millions of years of evolution cannot be messed with without consequences.

We are a clever little monkey......but sometimes too clever for our own good