Newbies Nest

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

finallydone;1447867 wrote: Hi Nesters! Hope everyone is doing well today! Today has not been a easy one as I don't have to school today because the MLK holiday and it's COLD as heck outside so I am stuck at home. That old mind game is creeping on me today. It sucks! But when I first had that thought to go down to the store and buy a 12 pack I took a huge step outside myself and came out with a battle plan for today. EAT! Exercise in doors today. Drink water with lemon juice. Read books. Read posts on MWO. I know If I cave I will be another drinking spree. I just can't do this again. So keeping close to the nest today and reading a lot. Thank you everyone!

Thank you! Finallydone...I LOVE that name. I'm finally done with alcohol too! My last binge almost killed me. It the sober life for me!

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1447858 wrote: Rainy...not sure if you are just getting this off your chest or needed to state it, but you didn't ask for any advice. However!!!

If you want to find a reason to drink, you don't have to go far to find it. Daisy has a saying in her byline that says that the slip is planned well before the slip occurs, or something like that. Maybe you were looking for reasons, but whatever happened....this is YOUR problem. Not his, not the neighbor's, not anyone's. It belongs to you. Just like they say in the airplane, you must secure YOUR mask before assisting others. If you aren't fixed yourself, you really aren't in a position to help your hubs...would you agree? As you well know, this disease is a bitch. I sneaked around and hid my booze, too. I also lied about it. Like you are owning YOUR problem, he's gonna have to own his, too, but no amount of your 'reminding' him about it is going to matter...just like it didn't matter to me when my hubs nagged. I was an addict. (am an addict). But how can you point out the error of his ways when you are drinking, too?

In your post, you have blamed many things....Chinese food, the hubs, the neighbor...etc...but I never heard you blame Alcohol. Also, your access to it....GET IT OUT. If your hubs is still drinking, then ask him to keep it out of your reach, that is the least he can do. Remember, the only relationships you can control are the ones you are in. Yours with AL is front and center.

I am also really worried about your small children are they seeing all this mayhem??? Is there driving involved?

If nothing changes....nothing will change. This is a major lifestyle change....it takes work. For us, ONE drink is too many. If you can get yourself in order, maybe your husband will follow your example. There's one thing for sure...your children will (either way). All you can control is yourself....if you need some professional help...get it.

What is your plan?? Really, do you have a plan? Are you ready to get sober?
I hope so...I was so afraid of it, but what scares the hell out of me now is if I hadn't. Life is SO much better now. I hope you wll make the commitment and take that leap of faith. Hugs....Byrdie

WOW! I knew I'd get it either from you, Lolab, or lavande!:b&d:uch:

I was venting, but knew I'd also get advice. You are right. This post will be helpful for me the next time I get tripped up.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Siren136;1447866 wrote: Rainyday, I certainly understand a drunk husband who is in denial of his own disease. Mine will tell me something and then claim he didn't or will NOT tell me something important and then swear he did. He blames it on Gulf War Syndrome, so who am I to challenge that? All I know is that the 10 beers he drinks each day don't help at all. He gets so drunk he can't speak.

I also work do a bunch of dog and cat rescue work (well, I used to until you-know-who said he didn't want to anymore). I have seen horrible situations of puppy mills and horses worked to death on Amish farms. So I do understand a little piece of what you are going through. I never want to see that again!

I'm just so glad the kids weren't home to see her do that or to be the targets of her rage. You are very special for remaining in contact with them for the sake of the kids.

Siren, I am volunteering to help at a local animal shelter but I'm not sure it's the best place for me? I feel like I want to pay back for them giving me my sweet little Dachshund Abagail but it's so hard to see the abuse that some of these poor animals have had to suffer!!!

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

I have to laugh because my daughter's name is "AbIgail!"

Finallydone... I remember you from before. I thought it was spring last I was here, but it was Fall. You started a Thread called "Why I am Great" that, after some people first thought you were full of yourself, ended up being a great thread and made sense!

Siren - hugs.... I thought about you over the weekend when my hubby was being as inconsiderate as yours!

I just got my first smartphone. Said I would NEVER get one! Well, looking forward to "using" it to read threads...

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

thank you

Thank you byrdie and hippy! Boy we all know how these days can be a challenge.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

We can do it! I KNOW we can. We can heal together. This time 4 sure!

finallydone;1447884 wrote: Thank you byrdie and hippy! Boy we all know how these days can be a challenge.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Rainyday;1447882 wrote: I have to laugh because my daughter's name is "AbIgail!"

Finallydone... I remember you from before. I thought it was spring last I was here, but it was Fall. You started a Thread called "Why I am Great" that, after some people first thought you were full of yourself, ended up being a great thread and made sense!

Siren - hugs.... I thought about you over the weekend when my hubby was being as inconsiderate as yours!

I just got my first smartphone. Said I would NEVER get one! Well, looking forward to "using" it to read threads...

:welcome:
Hi rainy! I know your going threw a challenge right now. Keep posting it helps

[Alarmed]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys

Thanks for some supportive members I found you here.

So here's my story - started to withdraw after a week of heavy drinking. It just starts with "one" beer and then after a week I'm wondering - has my week gone and why I am shaking and why I didn't do anything that I planned The answer is obvious.

Today I took three beers to start "tappering off" routine. I can't say that those three beers helped my anxiety. I felt like the body got really sick of me poisoning it and says no more.

I have a flushed face, my eyes and skin feel dry.

All day today I was fighting with my racing heart. Took vitamin B, some 5-htp, drank massive ammounts of water and took a fish oil tab. Ate a banana. Can't imagine eating anything else Finally took half a pill of xanax ( I only have 2 and half now an days to come are going to be rough).

My heart beat was 84 last time I counted, but I felt the pulsating in all the body.

The worst part is when I laydown, that is what surprises me. I try to sleep and, of course, thoughts start to race, images pop into my mind changing five times per second. I tried breathing deeply and it helps a bit, but then unease is still there.

Good news is - I hear my stomach gurgling. It means something is still working there and the heart rate is gonna have a chance to give me a short break.

So I got tired of lying in the dark with my jumper and the hood on, trying to catch my own thoughts and came here to talk to you, beautiful people.

Any ideas on racing heart and flushed face? (which I hope will diminish tomorrow. That is if I get some sleep tonight)

One more thing that I dread is the vivid dreams. In my case they are extremely vivid. And I get some sleep paralysis. That is that I sometimes feel like body is frozen and I jerk up with a loud gasp of air. Sometimes it takes up to three seconds which is very scary.

Now I put on some Beethoven in my headphones to calm my thoughts a little.

I am asking for support. I need it. It's first time that I openly talk about my drinking. And it feels right.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi alarmed! I went threw the same type of WDs. If you can get some good exercise going your mind will naturally relax oh and lots of water keep posting.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

I remember so many of you from before when I was seeking help, again I thought I could do it on my own. WRONG.
Thankyou for all your positive comments. Hippyman, your AF date is the date of my daughters birthday.
Byrdie, you are so right, I have had many ups and downs, starts and stops. When do we actually stop, how do we stop?
All I wish for is to live my life completely, and that is completely with or without AL
Why is it such a demon? It pulls at us from every direction. Yes I am still torn, and yes I still crave, and yes yes yes to all

[Alarmed]

Newbies Nest

hi, finallydone.

I tried doing some yoga today. Maybe it did relax my tense muscles a bit, but my mind was so scattered that I could barely remember the postures.

I thought about going for a walk, i'm afraid to get a panic attack and I don't know if it is a good idea to exercise having in mind that my hear beat is elevated.

Is 85 beats per minute already dangerous ?

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi alarmed! I would not be alarmed by 85 over 100 would mean some issues. Bad dreams and racing thoughts are normal. Your brain is healing might mean some restless nights but it will pass and you feel amazing.

[sweetpea29]

Newbies Nest

Evening nesters,

Sorry to see so many struggling big hugs to all xo

Having a crappy oul day here too. First real big bad cravings. Think i had a touch of cabin fever, having been cooped up all weekend.
Hi Alarmed- having suffered panic attacks i know for sure that getting out and getting your heart pumping is thee best medicine. 85 bpm for your heart rate is grand seriously
I had to do that myself today or i really would've gone crazy. Feck the snow i had to get out.

Thankful havent caved today but scared at how close i came

[Alarmed]

Newbies Nest

Thanks. I can see myself through this. There is a light in the end of the tunnel booth in my situation and in the way I feel.

This forum is a treasure chest and I finally think I can get a grip on this sneaky monster that occupied my mind and will. I have a therapist, but been hiding my alcoholism from him. How stupid is that.

I just did 30 sit-ups now at least I know why my heartbeat is increased

Would you recommend doing some more exercise? Maybe the increased metabolism will help the body to detox and make me a bit tired to get some sleep?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Alarmed, so glad you found us. What is your heart rate normally? Mine is always around 82 and I exercise....it used to be 88, so I guess I'm strung like a bunny, so to speak.
The racing thoughts are what Lav (our Nest Mom) calls Monkey Mind. This will be the case for about 3 days. But being for-warned is being for-armed...if you know to expect it, it's not so bad. I mean you're gonna have RACING thoughts AND Voices! I know what the voices are telling you...but under no circumstances should you listen if it involves drinking AL. This is the Voice of Addiction...or Addiction Head...Dick Head for short!! It will tell you anything to get you to cave. You never want to have to go thru this again, right? So muscle thru it. Eat until you are full!! Stay hydrated! and if all else fails, go to bed. It helped to watch mindless tv, and turn the volumn up if you can get away with it. Distraction is going to be your best friend. When you have thoughts of drinking, CHANGE the subject in your head. Name your cousins, recite the Pledge of Alliengence...Name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....Google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves! Do what ever it takes to get Day 1 under your belt. Stay close to us here....if you have some time, read back a couple weeks and get to know who we are and just jump in. This place saves lives...and I'm one of them! Welcome!! Byrdie