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    #30271
    Newbies Nest

    Afternoon friends. I'm sitting in my rocking chair with me Laptop and 3 mini doxies in my lap and trying to type...YICKS! I just want to say that I remember very well what the first few days of sobriety felt like. I was afraid that I'd go out and drink again and that the next time I would die from it. Alcohol took me way, way down. I'm coming up on 4 months sober in a few days and I'm so grateful for everyday. You can do it. Don't ever give up. I look forward to getting to know you all. Here's a Hug from Happy Hippy! :l :l :l :l :l :l
    Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

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      #30272
      Newbies Nest

      Hi, Byrdie

      Thank you so much for the support. Yes, the voice about "drinkig to ease it off" is definitely there. Along with the monkey mind. A very precise term indeed. I seems that only one gulp of wine would ease my pain. And then another gulp. As I said I tried to "tapper off" with beer today (and it didn't quite worked) so today is my first day without wine. The addiction is reminding about it soothing effects and how it would put everything in place. 'You might even catch up on some work" it lies.

      I'm drinking chamomile tea now with two spoons of sugar. I guess my blood sugar was low having in mind that I haven't had a proper meal in days. I also took three valerian pills. I am quite a big vallerian user so I don't think three will but me to sleep, but at least will take the edge off.

      And the shakes have just begun. I feel like I'm cold and all body is slightly shaking. My vision is slightly blurry.

      Anyway, your idea about some no-brainer activity is great. I will try to watch some office episodes.

      By the way, my normal heartrate is about 70.

      I'm 27, male. Living in Berlin now.

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        #30273
        Newbies Nest

        Hippyman;1447877 wrote: Siren, I am volunteering to help at a local animal shelter but I'm not sure it's the best place for me? I feel like I want to pay back for them giving me my sweet little Dachshund Abagail but it's so hard to see the abuse that some of these poor animals have had to suffer!!!
        I know it's hard, but the way I feel about it is, 'if not me, then who?' You may not be able to change the world, but you can help those dogs. I hope you find the strength to stick with it for their sake, but I certainly understand how hard it is.

        People ask me how I can foster, then give the dog up to another owner. I tell them that if I keep the dog, then I can't save the next one who needs me. My last foster was an 8 month old black (of course, they are the last to be adopted) lab, airedale terrier mix. He was on the Euth list (at 8 months!!) simply because he had been there so long and they needed the room.
        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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          #30274
          Newbies Nest

          Chamomile sweet tea is one of my favorites. I tapered down to lite beer and then forced myself to drink several big glasses of water in between lite beers. It wasn't easy but I had a friend stay with me and that helped. I started to feel alive again after about 4 days Alcohol free. It's been almost 4 months now and life gets better and better everyday. If I can do it, so can you. I know you can!
          Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

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            #30275
            Newbies Nest

            Gosh, a heart rate of 70 is most excellent! You will get back there post haste!

            Turn the volumn up on your tv if you can, to almost an irritating rate...it takes away something from the other thoughts you are having. I felt like I had THE FLU the first 2 weeks of my quit...everything ached except my hair! EAT, EAT, EAT!! You know how when you've eaten so much you say...I can't eat another bite....that full!

            Day 1 is the worst, and you are almost thru it! Nothing will take the edge off with one exception...Day 2!!!! You are doing it!! Stay with us! Byrdie
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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              #30276
              Newbies Nest

              Siren136;1447947 wrote: I know it's hard, but the way I feel about it is, 'if not me, then who?' You may not be able to change the world, but you can help those dogs. I hope you find the strength to stick with it for their sake, but I certainly understand how hard it is.

              People ask me how I can foster, then give the dog up to another owner. I tell them that if I keep the dog, then I can't save the next one who needs me. My last foster was an 8 month old black (of course, they are the last to be adopted) lab, airedale terrier mix. He was on the Euth list (at 8 months!!) simply because he had been there so long and they needed the room.
              Siren, God bless you for caring for the helpless animals. My 3 doxies would have a real riot if I brought home the cat I saw today. It sure needs a home but I had to rethink it and keep a sense of peace in this place we live. I'll keep walking the shelter dogs but I sure wish I could find homes for them all!!! :l
              Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

              Comment

                #30277
                Newbies Nest

                You guys make me feel like I have a warm blanket wrapped around me. Thanks!
                I have to learn how to be honest with myself and my husband. That means I have to actually TELL him that this is a serious problem and if it goes unchecked, I could die. No more letting him figure it out himself and honestly answering any questions he may have. That has been my approach in the past but he doesn't REALLY know the extend of my drinking, the extent of my blackouts, the extent of my fear. I have to learn to trust people and let them in. I have to figure out a way to crack this thick shell I have built around myself all of these years. I used to have high anxiety and depression, therefore I drank. It did work for years and years. But then slowly, over the past 5 to 7 years, the anxiety and fear have come back and this time, it is because of my drinking!! So now I have to stop for good and let the original fear and anxiety come back. Instead of blotting it out with booze, I need to figure out where it is coming from and how to deal with it sober. To do this, I will post, post, post. I will call on my AF friends, I will speak with my sponsor everyday and I will go to those dreaded AA meetings. As much as I hate them, they did seem to keep me sober for almost three months last fall.....

                I am so encouraged by all of your helpful comments and suggestions. I truly appreciate this nice warm blanket that you have given me!!!
                I just won't anymore

                Comment

                  #30278
                  Newbies Nest

                  Jenn, if we hadn't all been in your shoes, we couldn't 'get it'. We've all known the dispair you are feeling. There is hope!!!

                  FinallyDone, did I just hear it is -4 degrees in MN??? You poor thing, Brrrrrrrr!! Warm thoughts and hugs, B
                  All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                    #30279
                    Newbies Nest

                    jenniech;1447962 wrote: You guys make me feel like I have a warm blanket wrapped around me. Thanks!
                    I have to learn how to be honest with myself and my husband. That means I have to actually TELL him that this is a serious problem and if it goes unchecked, I could die. No more letting him figure it out himself and honestly answering any questions he may have. That has been my approach in the past but he doesn't REALLY know the extend of my drinking, the extent of my blackouts, the extent of my fear. I have to learn to trust people and let them in. I have to figure out a way to crack this thick shell I have built around myself all of these years. I used to have high anxiety and depression, therefore I drank. It did work for years and years. But then slowly, over the past 5 to 7 years, the anxiety and fear have come back and this time, it is because of my drinking!! So now I have to stop for good and let the original fear and anxiety come back. Instead of blotting it out with booze, I need to figure out where it is coming from and how to deal with it sober. To do this, I will post, post, post. I will call on my AF friends, I will speak with my sponsor everyday and I will go to those dreaded AA meetings. As much as I hate them, they did seem to keep me sober for almost three months last fall.....

                    I am so encouraged by all of your helpful comments and suggestions. I truly appreciate this nice warm blanket that you have given me!!!
                    Jenn, :l :l :l Welcome! IMO...Share the truth with your husband. It'll feel good to have all your cards out on the table. I'm not a big fan of AA but they do have one thing that I'm having trouble finding anywhere else. They offer you a group of people who don't drink that you can find friends among. With all my heart I believe that it takes and alcoholic to help an alcoholic and AA does have a large group of them together in one place. Take what rings true and leave the rest alone.
                    Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

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                      #30280
                      Newbies Nest

                      Alarmed, how are you getting along? Been about an hour...you hanging in with us? B
                      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                        #30281
                        Newbies Nest

                        Byrdlady;1447976 wrote: Jenn, if we hadn't all been in your shoes, we couldn't 'get it'. We've all known the dispair you are feeling. There is hope!!!

                        FinallyDone, did I just hear it is -4 degrees in MN??? You poor thing, Brrrrrrrr!! Warm thoughts and hugs, B
                        Lol byrdie it's actually worse here -9 right now. And supposed to be -27 in the morning. Yikes!:welcome::welcome:
                        Started living again 2/7/2015

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                          #30282
                          Newbies Nest

                          Geez o Petes! FD! You should move immediately!! OMG!!!! B
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                            #30283
                            Newbies Nest

                            Byrdlady;1447997 wrote: Geez o Petes! FD! You should move immediately!! OMG!!!! B
                            Lol! The morning won't be fun.:H
                            Started living again 2/7/2015

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                              #30284
                              Newbies Nest

                              and I thought 20 degrees here in NY was bad!!!!
                              I just won't anymore

                              Comment

                                #30285
                                Newbies Nest

                                It's cold even for MN.
                                Started living again 2/7/2015

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