Newbies Nest

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1449931 wrote: To give up alcohol is a loss. And as with any loss there is a grieving process. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I pout. "Life is not fair!!" I shout.

So... for me, I do not have the mindset of: What am I going to do once I reach my goal? (For once, not reading the instruction manual is paying off!) My goal is to live EVERY DAY for the rest of my life in freedom from slavery to alcohol. I am a better, more honest, more productive, more interesting, more responsible, more helpful, AND more humorous person without the poison of alcohol in my brain. I have a chance at true happiness.

That's my two-cents worth!! :cents

Yes, it is a grieving process. I get so pissed. Like tonight my coworker is going to the liquor store tonight to buy wine for her and her boyfriend. I LOVE the taste of wine. It's not the choice I've used to get drunk, though I have used it before. I just love the taste. Goes great with food. It'sn ot fair that she can have it and I can't!

So I have to think about it like diabetes. They can't have sugar. Or celiac patients. They can't have wheat. Thank God I can still eat bread!!!!

I also find that I am a more relaxed, better person to be around. Well, haven't totally tested the waters, but I know with my neighbor friend, I'd always go over there to let my kids play with her kids in the evening, and I'd be drunk, and she'd be sober, and we didn't have much to talk about. Now I go over there and conversation flows, and we are working out to the Biggest Loser stars as well!

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Overit44;1449680 wrote: New Day-I warned you about putting emphasis on "30 days" It will not be a glorious, cloud parting, angels singing, confetti flying, parade waving event. It's just another day. Another day in this hopefully long list of days. I DO NOT want to go back to the way it was. There was nothing good about it. It makes me sick to think of the way my life was before. What a waste! I love my life, my energy, my new attitude. I'm alive and experiencing life. Moderation? For what purpose? why? There are no benefits, at all, zip. Good luck.

I'm day 44 and NEVER turning back.

Here Here Tess2. I posted this earlier. My thoughts exactly. and I didn't read the instruction manual either. I always want to skip ahead to the good stuff.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Rainy -
Right next to your photo on Photobucket you'll see a link that says img code. Copy that code & paste it here in your post. That will imbed your photo right in your post

Nice doggie pics everyone

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1449931 wrote: I discovered the MWO site on December 31, 2012. I was searching desperately for a solution to my problem with alcoholism. I started to post on Newbies Nest without reading the "instruction manual." Thus, I did not realize that the initial goal was 30 days of sobriety.

There is no "instruction manual" for the Newbies Nest. Everyone is welcome. Period.

And we're glad you're here Tess, you are doing awesome!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Tess & overit -
It seems you both have gotten 'the message' & that's great!
Once we cross the line in the AL abuse dept.......there's just no going back. Why keep trying, it's insane. Remaining AF is just easier ~ no worries

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1449695 wrote: Thanks, K9
You know, guys, I am sitting here thinking to myself that I KNEW I had a drinking problem when I was in my twenties, but for years I just questioned if I was really an alcoholic or not. Between the time i was 26 yo and 36 yo, I had four children and totally quit drinking throughout those pregnancies, but, other than that, I basically went thru hell struggling to control or quit drinking for around 30 years. Can you believe it 30 years of my life spent trying to accomplish the same thing- just stop drinking. I had a few periods of sobriety, but each and every time I would let myself drink again, I would be back in the same boat - a daily drunk! I am so happy now that (with the help of you all) I am learning to overcome the struggles and choose sobriety. It is definitely the better choice. It is a choice I pray that i will continue to make for the rest of my life. It is a choice I PLAN to make for the rest of my life and really hope to help others make the same choice.

Starfish, that post really rings true with me. I knew I had a problem too, the first few times I got drunk. But I did it anyway. You posted "Can you believe..." and I feel exactly the same way. From my perspective now, it is truly baffling. Great post, and thank you.

Rainyday, I know what you mean about taste. I got really into brewing beer, which was my poison. I could brew beer that was better than almost anything available, and got really into it. In the end it just gave me another hurdle to jump over to finally quit, though. If some doctor told me that if I kept eating apples, then I would die, I wouldn't lose a ton of sleep over it. Because apples don't have alcohol in them, and I am addicted to alcohol, not pleasant tastes. I'm sure you get my point.

NewDay, wishing you some stregnth! There will always be a "reason" to drink. There may not always be a reason to stay AF though!

Tess, I didn't really follow any of the guidelines either, just came here for support and it worked for me, even at less than .75 posts per day ( at Kuya). It really helps me too to think of alcohol as the hellish slow death that it is, instead of anything pleasant. AF life is just so immeasurably better, I just can't believe it.

Hi to all my friends! Have a great AF night everyone!

[sweetpea29]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1449623 wrote: Morning Nesters!

New Day...since you ASKED!!! What to do when you hit the 30 day mark? It IS the dilemma when you are approaching it...but a couple of things strike me...and it seems like you have answered your own question in the very same post where you are asking it. You said:

I feel so much better this morning. In was getting anxious about keeping my sobriety when I get overtired like I was because I kept thinking a couple of glasses of wine and I would sleep so much better.......and if I knew I could keep it to a couple I'd be okay with that. But we all know where that leads to! The reason I'm here.

Ahhh...the REASON you are here...I also noticed your join date: July 2008. Then, your screen name: New Day.

So one day in July of 2008, 5 years ago, you were so frustrated with your own life that you sat down and sought out an online forum to help you end this madness. You chose a screen name to that affect...THIS IS IT....it's a NEW DAY! So what has changed between that time and now? Has your relationship with AL improved ....at all? I would venture a guess that the answer is no. In fact, I'd take that one step further and say that it is actually worse than that day back in July 2008. These are difficult words to hear, and believe you me, I've taken heat for this, but I have YET to be convinced otherwise....Your relationship with AL right here, right now, is as good as it's ever going to get. Notice I say 'as good'....because you can trust me on this...it WILL GET WORSE! As you well know, this is a progressive disease. If I could have quit 5 years before I did, I'd have saved myself and people I love a LOT of heartbreak. Correct me if I'm wrong...you are still LONGING to drink, right? And that isn't how normal drinkers think. This is addiction, and the only cure is to cut off the source of that addiction. You can trust me when I say I've tested this theory, because NOBODY could have wanted it to work worse than I did. I tried and tried...and YOU'VE tried and tried....am I true? It is a bitter pill to swallow, but I hope that you can look yourself in the mirror and see WHO you are....You are a person with an AL problem. It's a bitch. But it is what it is....You will fight this fight the rest of your life if you let it back in...you will be right back here like I was...with Day 1. Why not try something new? Make it a New Day? Keep going...and see if this path doesn't work out 110% better than the old tired one? I say protect your quit at all costs!! It's an investment in YOU! You know what doesn't work....right? I wouldn't lead you astray!! I'm not going to tell you it's always easy, but I can promise you it is BETTER!! I hope you stick around and join the 100 Day Clubbers...
Sorry for the sermon, but that's what this place is all about...those who have walked ahead of you and seen the trouble and struggles that lie ahead. There're AL landmines ahead, and they ARE out to kill you!
Just my 2 cents!! (and you did ask!!) Hang in there! You will never regret being sober! XXOO, Byrdie

Byrdie,

I know this post was for NewDay but its exactly what i needed to hear tonight.

Thanking you xo

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1449931 wrote: Hello Dear Nest Friends,

I've been reading this morning's posts about what to do once we have reached our 30 Days AF goal.

I discovered the MWO site on December 31, 2012. I was searching desperately for a solution to my problem with alcoholism. I started to post on Newbies Nest without reading the "instruction manual." Thus, I did not realize that the initial goal was 30 days of sobriety.

I was dying. Medical complications from alcohol were going to kill me or, being utterly and totally hopeless, I was going to kill myself. Either way, I was going to die.

So... the only goal that I had was to stop drinking altogether. Period. I cannot take one drink without needing another and then another. I am an alcoholic.

I wasn't aware of the Newbies Nest goal of 30 sober days until about a week ago. For me, there is no question of what to do at 30 AF days. I have two choices: 1) Stay sober and live -- or -- 2) Drink alcohol and die.

I am on AF Day 24. Do I miss alcohol? Yes and No. I still have cravings and I believe that the crap is still in my body on a cellular level. So yes, I miss alcohol on a physical level. Do I miss the sneaking and lying and giving five years of my life over to alcohol? No, I do not.

Would a person on their death bed be grateful for the opportunity to live five more years? And not just any five years, but five vibrant and youthful years? Yes, I can assure that a person on their death bed would be happy beyond belief to have five young and healthy years yet to live. That is what I gave away to alcohol.

To give up alcohol is a loss. And as with any loss there is a grieving process. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I pout. "Life is not fair!!" I shout.

So... for me, I do not have the mindset of: What am I going to do once I reach my goal? (For once, not reading the instruction manual is paying off!) My goal is to live EVERY DAY for the rest of my life in freedom from slavery to alcohol. I am a better, more honest, more productive, more interesting, more responsible, more helpful, AND more humorous person without the poison of alcohol in my brain. I have a chance at true happiness.

That's my two-cents worth!! :cents

Tess,

I am so impressed! It sounds like you 'decided to decide' and did it! Congratulations and please keep posting --- your 24 days of success is so encouraging and empowering.

Did you do the AF/not AF cycle for awhile before this change? If so, what made the 'switch' in your brain? (You are not the first person I've asked this --- I'm really trying to get any and all tips on flipping that dang switch!!).

Have a great evening.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Rainyday;1449935 wrote: Yes, it is a grieving process. I get so pissed. Like tonight my coworker is going to the liquor store tonight to buy wine for her and her boyfriend. I LOVE the taste of wine. It's not the choice I've used to get drunk, though I have used it before. I just love the taste. Goes great with food. It'sn ot fair that she can have it and I can't!...

Rainy - My fellow Nester and friend in sobriety. Have you been at work all day? Do you own your own business? I just wonder because you have a lot of time to post. Are you drinking? I just have to ask. I would WANT someone to ask me.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone;1449946 wrote: Starfish, that post really rings true with me. I knew I had a problem too, the first few times I got drunk. But I did it anyway. You posted "Can you believe..." and I feel exactly the same way. From my perspective now, it is truly baffling. Great post, and thank you.

Rainyday, I know what you mean about taste. I got really into brewing beer, which was my poison. I could brew beer that was better than almost anything available, and got really into it. In the end it just gave me another hurdle to jump over to finally quit, though. If some doctor told me that if I kept eating apples, then I would die, I wouldn't lose a ton of sleep over it. Because apples don't have alcohol in them, and I am addicted to alcohol, not pleasant tastes. I'm sure you get my point.

NewDay, wishing you some stregnth! There will always be a "reason" to drink. There may not always be a reason to stay AF though!

Tess, I didn't really follow any of the guidelines either, just came here for support and it worked for me, even at less than .75 posts per day ( at Kuya). It really helps me too to think of alcohol as the hellish slow death that it is, instead of anything pleasant. AF life is just so immeasurably better, I just can't believe it.

Hi to all my friends! Have a great AF night everyone!

Pinecone your post rate is higher since September of last year! The stats are only an indicator but maybe the once daily average accounts for your current success.

I debated before posting those observations thinking some people might feel disheartened, then I thought about it and decided that there are some on the boards who come on intermittently lamenting that THEY 'just can't get it'.

Who the hell ever learnt a skill by watching? Everyone I see succeed easily is, initially at least, an avid poster.

As you know, I say it as I see it. This thing we are doing is not a game, it is life and death. If those stats save ONE person from alcoholic death I am happy.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

10 things that can make you immediately happy:

1. Life

It's easy to forget that the mere fact of conscious existence--that you are alive--is itself a miracle. As the old saying goes "every day above ground is a good day."

2. Health

Rather than thinking of illness as something bad that happens to you, start thinking of health as something good that's happening to you.

3. Purpose

There is nothing more conducive to long-term happiness than knowing that your actions are making the world a better place.

4. Friendship

Almost everyone has friends, although it's easy to lose track of them in the rush of events. Take a few minutes--today--to reconnect with some of them.

5. Family

If you've got a good relationship with your family, rejoice! You're experiencing one of the deepest sources of happiness on the planet.

6. Self-reliance

Feeling secure that you can count on yourself to accomplish what you set out to accomplish creates a quiet but potent happiness.

7. Community

Having the support of a wider group makes you more aware that you're part of something greater than yourself.

8. Gratitude

Rather than focusing on what you don't have or what's out of reach, be thankful for the wonderful things already in your life.

9. Laughter

It is impossible to laugh and be miserable at the same time. Regular doses of laughter are more than medicine... it's the flavor of life.

10. Love

'Nuff said.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, I'm behind you...it's not always easy to hear the things we say, but we say them because we have seen the proof! We are trying to make it easier for folks not harder...Lord knows there are plenty of places that can tell you what you want to hear, but we are trying to tell you what will get you out of this cycle. Like you, if I help ONE person, then it's worth it. Lav can rest easy...she at least got to me!! Bahaha...she did get to at least ONE person~ I thank my lucky stars for that woman.

Great list K9....very inspiring!
Wishing everyone a safe and sober night in the nest! XO, Byrdie

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1449974 wrote: Pinecone your post rate is higher since September of last year! The stats are only an indicator but maybe the once daily average accounts for your current success.

I debated before posting those observations thinking some people might feel disheartened, then I thought about it and decided that there are some on the boards who come on intermittently lamenting that THEY 'just can't get it'.

Who the hell ever learnt a skill by watching? Everyone I see succeed easily is, initially at least, an avid poster.

As you know, I say it as I see it. This thing we are doing is not a game, it is life and death. If those stats save ONE person from alcoholic death I am happy.

You bring up an excellent point. Over last summer, I got away from posting as much as I had in the beginning, even though I read everday. I found that reading just wasn't cutting it for me, and I didn't want to drift away from here so I started posting again. I find that interacting in this community (reading AND posting) is a much better form of support.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Every time we affirm, in writing, that we don't drink, another part of this disease dies

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Ihad to go look as I've kinda been awol lately...but check this out...my stats before I posted this....i should have played these numbers today.

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Oh, and I don't drink! :-)