Newbies Nest

[mywayin]

Newbies Nest

To all you AF tea toddlers...
Here in France, I buy at the pharmacie a huge bag of milk thistle. It makes a delicious infusion that I make a very big pot of before lunch and drink all afternoon. It's not only delicious but liver cleansing and healing, and cheap. I'm not sure what it's effect is on sleep so I drink sleepy tea in the evening.
I suppose you can find or order it in a health store.

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1450202 wrote: NoSugar - My drink cycle was odd in that the cravings started at sunrise and ended at sunset. I told myself every night for about 4 years that I wasn't going to drink the next morning. But I nearly always did drink the next morning because I was caught in the trap of alcoholism. I didn't ever attempt to "quit with support" until I found the MWO site. I think the 'switch' in my brain occurred when I felt certain that I was going to die. I wish you much success in your sobriety. You have found a great place in Newbies Nest for support.

Goodnight to All in The Nest!! Sleep Well ~ :heart:

This pretty much describes me, too. Although I would continue to drink after sunset until I passed out and went to bed. Then the next morning I would have cravings, but would also drink to stave off the shakes and anxiety. Can anyone say 'Vicious Cycle'?

I tried many times to stop or cut back and I would make it a few days fine. But I'd always go back out of habit and boredom and just plain wanting to freakin drink. The holidays really got me this year due to some personal issues I'm dealing with and I really hit the bottle(s) hard. I got to the point where I couldn't or didn't want to stop.

I think the reason this quit stuck is because I started having pain in my liver and was bruising a lot. I didn't have the desire to do the things I normally loved doing. And I was scared for my job. But the main reason this one stuck is because of the support I got here in the Nest. I read a lot and posted a lot (especially Day 1, thanks for putting up with me ). I continue to read and post and gain a lot of insight about this disease from you all.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Remember to keep reinforcing what you learn Siren.

What I benefit so much from here is the similarities between us all. The drug has the same detrimental effect regardless of education, class, race or culture.

That is why I am so optimistic of recovery. When I was drinking I convinced myself that my drinking was complicated and that I needed to get to the bottom of why I drank and put right the things that were wrong before I could stop.

Being here makes one realise there are NO complex reasons, just excuses not to stop swallowing the stuff.

Life is just life if I don't drink and hell if I do......it is that simple.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

TGIF on this freezing cold Friday morning, huh?
Expecting a bit of snow this afternoon. not too much though.

Does anyone have anything fun planned for the weekend? I don't :H
Hope to get some work done on taxes, ugh.

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!
Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Newbie's Nest! It's starting to warm up here....only -4 degrees F reading in my car this morning....I'm beginning to worry about some plants that I thought would be OK this winter...:-(

Kuya I get such comfort from identifying with the similarities between all of us. Otherwise I'd feel like a complete outcast because in real life, everybody is as good at hiding stuff as I was....and try as I might, I can't seem to "identify" anyone around me who might be struggling - even though I know they are out there.

I've tried to look back on my drinking history and see what exactly happened. And sometimes I think - "the real problem only started about 5 years ago, or so...the vodka drinking (which for me, was a red flag of trying to make it more convenient and easier to hide)...the 24 hours a day drinking....but then I remember the first time I got drunk at 15 - I kept drinking even after "feeling" it...and passed out in a public bathroom stall covered in vomit at a concert. And the many mornings hearing about being so soundly asleep that my mom or dad couldn't wake me to get off the couch and go to bed....and the driving home from college after doing shots and falling asleep at the wheel...I could go on and on and on as so many of us can....and I guess where it leads me, is to realize that drinking was always something that I wanted to do in excess. I was never, ever a "normal" drinker - so why should I think that I could be now - after abusing it for so long? And honestly, is there even such a thing? yep, we all know that society and those that make money from alcohol, are responsible for making drinking "normal" and acceptable....and it's a tough trap to climb out of....it would be so cool if NOT drinking were the norm....if people had reasons to get together that didn't center around drinking. (yeah I know some do, but not too much in my world...)

I've had get togethers and dinners that didn't "center" around drinking - since I quit - and they are always very nice - but for the most part, when others know that you don't drink, I think they struggle with how to plan a get together with you....ya know? For all their "other" friends it's "let's relax Friday night - have some cocktails!" "oh, we're having a cooking club - so and so's bringing the wine!" "We need to get together and relax with a bottle of wine!" This is still something that I think about, and I do believe is going to take some time. There’s that word again.

I drank for years and years and years – as a reason for absolutely everything….from having a bad day to grieving a terrible loss…from celebrating a birthday to dealing with difficult people…This change was not like flipping a switch - it’s a slow and gradual learning experience…I’m learning something new about sobriety and me all the time….and sometimes I have periods of time where I’m feeling blah about it….but feeling blah is part of LIFE…it comes and it goes – we have good days and bad days…it’s all about not using the bad days to justify drinking. Not using celebrations to justify drinking….not using nasty people to justify drinking. It’s about learning to roll with the punches….

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Wow, lolab, that was a fantastic post!!
I am so grateful to all who have helped me....it is my hope to become a "senior" member (please, not in terms of age :H) and be able to provide such great support and help to the new newbies.
This feeling I have this morning is so much better than an alcohol buzz. I succeeded in not drinking last night. I must admit, there were moments (and I mean just moments) when that longing/craving was pulling me toward the fabulous swanky bar in the hotel where I am staying. But then I thought it through. I stopped romanticizing about drinking. That is what our society does with regard to alcohol ...... the NOTION of drinking is made to be so romantic, so cool, so fun, so relaxing....but it is NOT for me!!
Here is my honesty: I take that first sip (gulp really) of white wine and that heat sensation as it travels to my stomach is so intoxicating....then the heated rush as it enters my bloodstream...all of that takes about 30 seconds. And then, BOOM....the chase begins. I am chasing for that first 30 seconds of pleasure never to catch up to it. The hoover vacuum cleaner of my mouth gets turned on and the switch is broken. I stumble to bed (hopefully without falling and really hurting myself which I have done a few times), pass out for about 4 or 5 hours, wake up in middle of night unable to fall back asleep, doze for an hour, then get up completely hungover and trudge through the day at work...come home irritable and cranky to my sweet boys, throw dinner at them and open a new bottle of wine to ease the irritability...and the cycle starts all over again. WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT???? It totally sucks.
Plus, if I keep drinking, I am going to die. So, I don't drink anymore. And I feel so good this morning!! No hangover, well rested......My conference starts at 8am. I will bet that 90% of the people at the conference are going to feel HORRIBLE....everyone was drinking very heavily (as usual) last night at the work event. but NOT ME.
I don't drink anymore.
Thanks for letting me ramble
I don't drink anymore
Good tip Kuya....the more you say it, write it....the easier it is to get through the tough spots.
I don't drink anymore.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

jenniech, great description of being stuck in that cycle...I'm so happy that you are doing well. As long as you expect that inevitable "lull"...that let down...those moments - like you felt - of not feeling quite so "committed" or quite so enchanted with sobriety - LOL.........as long as you know they're coming - you can stay strong through them and even learn something from them and gain the oh so important confidence. :-)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jenn, I am so proud of you! I felt the same way when I went to my first conference. I had Lav and Lolab's number in my phone and that was my silver bullet. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but then I began to see my coworkers talk louder and closer...drink after drink after drink...dam...it was hard to believe that I did that AND more! Remember, I had to get a head start on all this before coming down to the cocktail reception. At the meeting the next morning, bottles of Advil would get passed around and the guys looked and smelled like hell. Yes, what an elite club to be in....I am no longer jealous of these drinkers. At All! I don't eat seafood...so it's just like that to me. When you get home, you will realize that you have achieved a really big milestone...you have survived "The Conference". You can ask Lolab, I was a nervous wreck going to my first one, but after that...smooooth sailing!!! Well done! Byrdie

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone,

There is a lot of great advice in The Nest this this morning!!

mywayin - "AF tea toddlers" - love it!! Thanks for the tip on Milk Thistle infusion. I am taking Milk Thistle capsules because I "trashed" my liver (thankfully not totally beyond repair). I like the infusion idea because I need to keep drinking lots of non-alcoholic beverages during the day: it helps to replace the gallons of beer that I was accustomed to. :yukko:

Siren - The main reason that I am able to stay sober is because of the support I receive in Newbies Nest too. Stay strong and keep up the good work!!

kuya - "Being here makes one realise that there are NO complex reasons, just excuses not to stop swallowing the stuff." Well said!!

Lav - Just homework and housework for me this weekend. Blek! Stay warm!!

lolab - Great post!! "...we have good days and bad days...it's all about not using the bad days to justify drinking..." Yes, LIFE includes every emotion from bliss to utter despair. I coped with ALL of my emotions quite well before I started drinking, and I am learning to manage the roller coaster of life again without alcohol. :teeter:

jenniech -- Fab post too!! "The NOTION of drinking is made to be so romantic, so cool, so fun, so relaxing....but it is NOT for me!!" Yes, that image of alcohol is out there everywhere: TV, movies, magazines, etc. But the truth is that alcohol is simply a poison that we choose to pour down our throats. And then we all act like idiots in our own unique idiot way. As K9 wrote, "Romanticise That!!" as she reflected on her stay with her cellie, Diablo.

I'm off to study. Enjoy this AF Friday fellow fledgings ~ arrot:

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I just read through the many clear and thoughtful posts that were made while I was sleeping -- what great things to think about as I begin what I plan to be my LAST day 2. Thanks to everyone.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey, off to a meeting and don't have time to read all the way back or post, but wanted to say how proud I am of Jennie!!! Great job, gal!!!

[Karmadillo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone.
i am new here and just posted once - on day 2. I went 7 days AF and then drank vodka last night. Fell asleep and woke up disappointed in myself. So here I am starting over. Day One.

I don't drink during the day, just at night. I don't cause trouble when I drink, I usually fall asleep. But I am addicted to it, and it's not healthy. I want to be AF forever. I think I need to see a doctor and get started on some of the meds that help control the craving. But I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. Can anyone give me any advice?

I live in a small town and cannot see my regular health care provider because i don't care what laws exist about confidentiality- HIPPA, etc. - people talk. I work in education and don't want my job or reputation to be damaged.

How do I get started?

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

sweetpea - I hope your looong Friday is going well. I missed your post this morning because you were off to work before I went to bed last night!! So here is a proper Good Morning to you. :hallo:

And Good Morning - Byrdie!! We were cross-posting. It's great to have you with us in The Nest this morning!!

NoSugar - Congrats on this your LAST day 2!! There is nothing better than being sober. Good job!! :happy:

Star - Thanks for checking in. It's great to hear from you!!

:kudos:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Karm! Thanks for posting! I tell you, if kicking one's self were a profession, we'd all be rich!! Welcome! I just shake my head at this thing we've all got....all I can say is that what you are describing is the sheer POWER of addiction! WHY? We don't know why exactly, but the HOW....well, we do know about how to find your way out. See the link to the Tool Box in my signature line below. There are 100's of tips and coping skills to help you thru these first challenging days. I would also suggest you read back a couple weeks on this thread to get to know us. We have folks in YOUR SHOES!! So we can help!! All I can say is that we totally understand, and we can get you out of the ditch and back on the tracks! First things first...get ALL the AL out of your space! This is the first step in reclaiming your life. Yes....ALL OF IT. Nope...you don't need a safety net, because you are not going to fail! Surround yourself with things you love to do and eat! Keep yourself FULL!! and hydrated!!! I am talking full...remember when you've said, "I can't eat another bite!" THAT's the full....you will have some time to fill, so have some things on hand to help you...distraction, distraction, distraction! But what am I telling you?....you've done the 7 days before! You can do this! Read, read, read....post, post, post....those are Drs orders from our very own Kuya!!! You are tougher than AL!!! We all are! We're so glad you're here!!! Byrdie

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Hi Karm!

(hoping I don't get in trouble for posting too much here today...

I'll give you my experience. I tried Naltrexone. Does nothing for cravings. If you look up the Sinclair Method by Allan Carr... what you do is take it while drinking. Naltexone blocks the pleasure receptor you would get from drinking (not that many of us even get that pleasure receptor anymore anyway). So Carr's "method" is that you eventually lose interest in drinking. It didn't work for me. I think (although I may be wrong) that this works best for people who drink beer/wine.

Next medicine I tried and am currently on. Topamax. It's mainly prescribed for migraines. So you can tell the doc you've been getting these nasty migraines and would like to try Topamax (that's a way to hide the true reason).

I'm a small girl (oh, well, I guess I'm no longer a "girl" at 39, but I'll always feel like a girl anyway!).

Back to the subject! I am only 4'11 3/4s tall. Weigh 123/124. Doc started me out on 25 mgs/day, and I was to take it once a day. It was hell getting used to it, but eventually I did. Problem was, I'd forget to take it, and then I'd have to deal with getting used to it again. I was also drinking then.

If you read Roberta Jewell's book (MWO founder) she used Topamax. She started out being able to moderate, and that's what I wanted to do since it was summer, and we had guests over frequently, namely, my sister-in-law who was going through a nasty divorce and who wanted to get drunk and spend the night. So during that time I actually forced myself to drink in the beginning (last summer) to fit in, because the crazing was GONE, and I actually didn't want the drink at all! But then, while drinking, I'd forget the meds, so there went my anticraving meds!

Now I'm not drinking, and I remember to take it. Plus, I've changed my dosage. I take 12.5mg in AM and then again in PM. It did build up in my system once, and I took a day break from it, and was all good again.

I used Ativan initially because it is known to help with the possible seizures, and also, it helped trememndously with my anxiety yet didn't make me sleepy. I'd take it around my witching hour, or when I started feeling myself get angry or anxious.

You can ask for Ativan for short term anxiety. Say you're going through a period of stress, and thought you'd try it. Docs have a hard time prescribing it because it can be addicting, but if you just ask for two months supply... you'll be ok.

ICANDOIT had a schedule down to a tee to how much should be taken per day and when and then the date it should be completely stopped.

Topamax is more of an "awake" medicine, while I think others, like Baclafen, are more sedative, but I've never taken it, just what I've thought from my reading. Although, I have no problem sleeping at night with the topamax. Might be the sleepytime tea and OTC sleepaid I take, but, unlike others, I sleep like a baby through the night.

I love it because I used to be the 3AM "I'm awake, hung over, and in a panic attack mode!".

I always heard Fridays were a good day to start.

Do you have kids? If so, what ages?

What do you plan on doing tonight? Can you go see a movie?

Guess I'd better get off before my "boss" comes after me!

Rainy Renee