Newbies Nest

[Karmadillo]

Newbies Nest

Brydie, thanks so much! I feel really weak and vulnerable today and feel like an idiot here - I don't even know which thread to post in cuz I don't usually visit forums. I'm at work and should be working but I just needed to be here this morning.
Yes, I have removed the AL from my space. I have a full life, 2 kids, husband who wants to support my sobriety, good job, etc. I am NOT going to let AL ruin it!
I will take your advice. Thank you...

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

You're in the right forum! Newbies Nest! Lots of great peeps here!

{{{hugs}}}

How old are your kids? (just trying to think up things for you to do tonight and this weekend...)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good job, Karm...have a look around the Tool box and you will be well-armed. If an old broad like me can you this...I know a smart, young thing like you can, too!!! B

[Karmadillo]

Newbies Nest

I'm not young, but my brain thinks I am. My body begs to differ...
I have two amazing kids ages 8 (girl) and 5 (boy). Love, love love being their mom.
Maybe we'll go see a kid movie tonight.
I am going to be a little more productive at work now and check back in later to do some research and getting acquainted with site.
Thanks for the advice and hugs.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Jennie - You DID IT! I knew you were going to be ok! The next time it will be easier, and the time after that it will be even easier...I'm proud of you girl!!

Hi Karm and welcome! You are in a great place full of wisdom, support, advice and love...we're here for you. We all know this isn't easy...we've "been there/done that" so whatever you want to throw at us, we can take it and have probably done the same thing, or worse! Stay close, we can help you!

Rainy - You are doing great...I am proud of you too!

Tess, Lav, Byrdie, Lola, Star, Nosugar and everyone else...have a GREAT Friday! Weekends are not a pass to drink, they are just days. You'll never wake up in the morning wishing you'd drank the night before.

xoxoxoxo
K9

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Jenni-way to go on the meeting and the events of the evening. Don't you feel so empowered? I'm glad you feel great this AM. I have never been to a conference where I woke up feeling great. You'll have a great giggle today watching everyone else suffer.
Rainyday-don't get frustrated. We can only do this for ourselves. I love your avatar by the way. I love your posts....don't stop.
Lolab-"learning to roll with the punches" great post. I could relate ot EVERYTHING you said. Now that I think about it my drinking was never normal either, it was always to get drunk, never to just enjoy a glass of whatever, a glass? give me the whold darn bottle and whatever else you've got over there.
Karm-Welcome. Come on in and settle down. Good to have you with us.

Great day to everyone else. Like Rainy, I'm at work and check in here and there. I don't smoke or take a lunch break either so when I'm waiting on something to print etc. I pop in.

Having said that, I have work to do!

Have a great day and a great weekend.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone :l

Today, I am really struggling to tell myself that Alcohol is NOT the answer to a problem I am having. I know it in my heart and I know it in my head, but there is some distant (familiar) ?voice? telling me that I should just go drink. I have identified the trigger. It is anger. This ?voice? tells me that I can hurt the ones I am angry with by drinking again. The voice is right. It will hurt them.
But
What else will it do? What will it solve?
I will say back to ?the voice?- I deserve better than that. Besides hurting the ones that are hurting me, getting drunk will hurt ME even more. Not one single thing will get solved and nothing will be better if I drink. Drinking will only make everything worse. I will lose all the ground I have made in fighting this battle (yes ALL of the ground, because tomorrow, I will be back to Day 1 and I can just about guarantee that the next day will be another Day 1 because I won?t stop there).
This is tough, even after a few months. But at least, at this stage, at this time, my head and my heart are beating the ?voice?. I think that should be some encouragement to those of you in the first week or month battling the ?monkey chatter?.
Thanks for listening guys. I know this is no great revelation to anyone, but it helped me very much to type it out.
Thanks for your encouragement and support. If it were not for each of you and this website, I know I would not be AF today.
For the rest of today, my fat butt is going to be velcroed to the nest. Our nest moms will be standing on my head and K9?s daughter?s dog is going to be giving me the ?evil eye?. We can do this!!!

:h Star (day 116

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Star, I'm so glad you rushed to the nest instead of the bottle. K9's dog won't be the only one giving you the Stink Eye!
I ate AT people and drank AT people for years. What did that do? I was a fat ALK!! Didn't do a dam thing TO the people I was aiming at. So I have learned a whole new set of coping skills...and so have you, and you have just used one! Go find yourself a wonderful cookie instead!! I bet it will bring you much more JOY than AL ever would/could. To hell with those that are making you feel this way...this is YOUR life and drinking is NOT an option! Kapeesh? Please report in so we can keep our stink eyes ready! Nothing is worth DAY 1 again!!!! Hang in there! You've been thru worse than this! XXOO, B

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Starfish1;1450454 wrote: Hey everyone :l

Today, I am really struggling to tell myself that Alcohol is NOT the answer to a problem I am having. I know it in my heart and I know it in my head, but there is some distant (familiar) ?voice? telling me that I should just go drink. I have identified the trigger. It is anger. This ?voice? tells me that I can hurt the ones I am angry with by drinking again. The voice is right. It will hurt them.
But
What else will it do? What will it solve?
I will say back to ?the voice?- I deserve better than that. Besides hurting the ones that are hurting me, getting drunk will hurt ME even more. Not one single thing will get solved and nothing will be better if I drink. Drinking will only make everything worse. I will lose all the ground I have made in fighting this battle (yes ALL of the ground, because tomorrow, I will be back to Day 1 and I can just about guarantee that the next day will be another Day 1 because I won?t stop there).
This is tough, even after a few months. But at least, at this stage, at this time, my head and my heart are beating the ?voice?. I think that should be some encouragement to those of you in the first week or month battling the ?monkey chatter?.
Thanks for listening guys. I know this is no great revelation to anyone, but it helped me very much to type it out.
Thanks for your encouragement and support. If it were not for each of you and this website, I know I would not be AF today.
For the rest of today, my fat butt is going to be velcroed to the nest. Our nest moms will be standing on my head and K9?s daughter?s dog is going to be giving me the ?evil eye?. We can do this!!!

:h Star (day 116

Star,

If it helps you, just know that your post helped ME! Just hering someone else struggling today helps me, that's sadistic, isn't it?

Or is it just the fact that I know I'm not alone?

Hubby is picking up the kids early this evening as we're getting snow in Central PA in about an hour and i need new tires. He's driving right by the liquor store. It's 15 minutes, 6 miles, from our house, but just next door to my parent's house.

We used to always get champagne for snowy days/nights. It used to be great. Not so great the past few years as we mixed it with whiskey for the quick buzz. Just replaying that in my head grosses me out and makes my head hurt and I think will be enough 9at least for now) to make me turn my nose up at it.

But what about at 5pm tonight?

I think a visit to the neigbor friend's house is important. Hopefully her boyfriend won't be over, because I need to get the kids over their and be away from the house. And away from Hubby. One problem is my middle child is grounded tonight. SUCKS.

Anyway - back to you Star... you are right, it won't solve anything at all.

Why are you still angry? You need to let go. Maybe you've already talked about it here, and I missed it. Can you clue me in on it?

I'm pretty good about letting things go. It's just not worth it. It hurts you more than anyone else.

And drinking will just make you look like a weak idiot. It won't empower you at all. you are empowered by "slaying the drink" (thinking of Slaying the Fear! member!")

I get so proud of myself when I think of the few AF nights I've had! And the AF nights I know I can do! This is empowerment! This is a battle and we are winning!!!

{{{hugs}}}
Rainy Renee

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Byrdie!

I am going to treat myself to something when I make it thru the day. I am going to quit feeling sorry for myself because others choose to be mean. I am going to stop blaming myself that they treat me this way. I need to be nice to ME, in spite of them.

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Just remember, everyone poops.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Rainy. We cross-posted. I am angry because people I love are:
1) Acting like fools for no damn reason
2) Lying about me and what's even worse, believing their own damn lies
3) Being disrespectful and rude to me
And to top it all off, I am angry with myself because I blame myself for the way they act. They are my family.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Atta Girl....remember Lav's Gratitude Mantra. We have 2 good arms, 2 good legs, and most of our minds left. We have EVERYTHING going for us...this is a real opportunity for GROWTH! And that hurts. I had to use every coping skill I could muster recently...and you can, too. It's a different set of muscles and they get stronger with use. Call me if you need to....K? K. xo, b

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Overit44;1450439 wrote: Jenni-way to go on the meeting and the events of the evening. Don't you feel so empowered? I'm glad you feel great this AM. I have never been to a conference where I woke up feeling great. You'll have a great giggle today watching everyone else suffer.
Rainyday-don't get frustrated. We can only do this for ourselves. I love your avatar by the way. I love your posts....don't stop.
Lolab-"learning to roll with the punches" great post. I could relate ot EVERYTHING you said. Now that I think about it my drinking was never normal either, it was always to get drunk, never to just enjoy a glass of whatever, a glass? give me the whold darn bottle and whatever else you've got over there.
Karm-Welcome. Come on in and settle down. Good to have you with us.

Great day to everyone else. Like Rainy, I'm at work and check in here and there. I don't smoke or take a lunch break either so when I'm waiting on something to print etc. I pop in.

Having said that, I have work to do!

Have a great day and a great weekend.

Thanks Overit! Made my day! I got mentioned two times in your post! (feeling a little selfish here.. lol)

Sometimes I feel lost in the huddle.

I love your posts too!

And, like you, I'm getting back to work! I just had three grueling days with the auditor here, and all my 2012 books are good! YAY!

Now I can put that behind me and get into 2013! That is always a great feeling!

MOVING ONWARD!

Rainy

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Star, it is a sad day when we realize our family isn't perfect. It's ok to be mad at them...just direct it to the right place and not back on to yourself, as WE do...go over to the !@#$%^%@ thread and see how many times I've posted over there that my family is @#$%&*! NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B