Newbies Nest

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Mick;1452048 wrote: Rabsy,Rabsy, a fair wee rant,
bout going into Tescos and havin a tant
Its not his job to say what you do
But just to put the shopping through!!

What you should have done you see,
Is when he said its alcohol free,
Replied "now thats good, but oh my oh my
Do I get it for nowt or do I have to buy?"

Now heres a task the next time you go,
The answer to this I dont know,
Even tho it says its alcohol free,
It is still beer..do you need ID?

(well you wouldnt..but some of us might!!!) :H:H:H

Dear Mick, it's funny you should ask
Cos ev'rytime I buy AF beer I am tasked
With proving my age -
But it's really just a gauge
Of my acting credentials under this mask! :H

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters, This morning's posts are deeply honest, funny, courageous, poetic, and very instructive. Thank you!! I don't have time to respond (classes and homework are SUCH an inconvenience!), but I hope to be able to check back at the end of the day. Amazing work, All ~

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Slaythefear;1452187 wrote:

"The idea of the alcohol only being a depressant while intoxicated and hungover is what I have believed and don't think I have fully grasped yet until I read how wrong that is. The fog lifting after six months for you...I have not achieved yet. I thought after my first quit I had broken all its power of mental confusion. It's hard to find an incentive to stay quit when your outside motivation factors aren't present. Someone truly loving me is a strong motivation which is completely absent in my life and obviously loving myself, too. The depression itself keeps you wanting to drink or making excuses to drink like a vicious circle. That dark cloud or fog that clings and makes you feel hopeless. I didn't realize until now that was still a factor in my blue mood. I have made markers in my AF time, but in all these problems I'm facing, you know I have chosen to go out and drink with the girls on Thursdays and I've had some other times of indulgence to cope with my mess so I don't feel so alone in all this. I went through some rough times in my first real quit back in August, but I felt a strong incentive to get through it. I guess I was thinking that a once a week binge out with the girls or some occasional drinking wouldn't cause me depression or mental confusion. Reading this and feeling this moodiness and depression I realize my thinking may be very distorted like a chicken and egg scenario even from the limited use as I'm still new to working sobriety. I had discounted that at this point. I guess I convinced myself in believing that I had control of this and it wasn't going to be a real problem to moderate once a week or a small amount. Slay is suppose to be so strong on the MWO board. It's so hard for me to even admit this now, but your message along with Byrdie's question to me really reached inside my hiding place where the lies rule.

.....Maybe I'm afraid to give it up permanently because of my emptiness. How will I cope with that?

Hi Slay. I do really feel that this might be one of the toughest parts of this for me to "Get". The profound effect that alcohol had on me - even when it was just there as a possibility....and when I drank with friends the summer after my first real quit...and then went until the next weekend before drinking again - but the "slump" that i felt that I was in - that just lingered even though I wasn't drunk or hungover. You put it so clearly in your post. And some of us have to experience it a few times to see that the negative feelings...or depression that we feel with alcohol in our lives is clearly a result of the alcohol...and not because of some other circumstances. It sounds like you're getting there, and I do think it means that you'll "get it" much more clearly and for the long term much moreso than someone who is tired of hangovers or wants to lose 20 pounds.

As for the second part of the quote, think for a second. Could the emptiness go hand in hand with the negativity and hopelessness...dark clouds...and depression. (your words). Sure seems like it to me. I sure felt empty inside when I was drinking. This amazing world was carryiing on right around me - while I was either drunk, hungover, too tired to enjoy it, or depressed. Give it a shot. I'd be surprised if you said goodbye to alcohol, and watched as the fog and depression lifted - yet the emptiness still remained. It's all intertwined. :l

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

sweetpea29;1452221 wrote: Thankyou so much Byrdie

Just came back from a lovely afternoon with my friend to find i got a hat!

Im not too good with expressing my thoughts, feelings etc.. But will try.

My journey to quit began many yrs ago. I was very aware from my early-mid twenties that my drinking habits were not 'normal'. I tried to quit many times, having seen first hand the negative impact alco abuse had on family, colleagues and patients and also feeling what it was doing to me, outside and inside; namely killing me in every sense.

Despite this awareness and knowledge, i continued 'killing' myself, with negative voices telling me what the feck does it matter whether you live or die. Many times i did wish that i would die just to escape the torture.
Somehow a voice came from within telling me i was worth more, to stop wasting my life, to 'catch a grip'

Im nowhere near outta the woods, far from it tbh. I still crawling, slowly learning to take those first tentative baby steps.

Without a doubt what makes this quit different from others is MWO and more importantly the people who make it. Those folk who have been here yrs and not so long offering support and guidance and demonstrating that life can be lived without booze. Ye offer inspiration and motivation.
What ye all do here is priceless.

I spend hours going through old posts, the tool box and more recently the blinkin word game!! Ive spent more time in front of this laptop this past month than in all of last year! Addictive personality methinks!
I dont always feel like posting but force myself to as i have to be accountable somewhere. No-one in my real life bar my brother and his gf know of this quit. I didnt want to announce it like in the past only to end-up drinking again:upset:

What i have learned so far is to put my being AF above everything else, to be selfish in a sense. Something which ive never been. I am slowly learning not to be so hard on myself. Yes i could eat better and exercise more, go for a promotion, learn a new skill... that will come in time. I find myself very lethargic this past few weeks, im learning not to beat myself up for taking things easier. Im learning that life doesnt have to lived at 100mph. Im learning to appreciate me, warts and all (thanks Kuya).

Im terrified of going back, cause if i were to drink again i dont think i could stop again.

Even tho i wake each morning still feeling tired i am grateful that i didnt drink the night before. Im grateful that i still have a chance to live and create a new and better life

Words cant convey how grateful i am to the people here:h

Sweetpea - so much of that post speaks to me. I am only a month on from you and I as see it, I am VERY early on in my quit. You seem to be taking it real sensibly, not going at it hell-for-leather, but taking the quit as it comes... and equally gradually growing to accept yourself also. Yes, warts and all. Kuya is so dang right. Keep reading posting and playing the word game

It's awesome to have you here. :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mick and RC...let me address your hilarious talent in a separate post here! If you knew the JOY you have brought me day....(head shaking). So!
Keep up the good works
you boys are with quirks
Underneath those brave wrappers
are just a couple sappers.
Love you both!!! B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Sweetpea - congratulations - 30 days is a wonderful start - now watch the time fly by...while you're truly living your life...:-)

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

SLAY - :l That was a powerful and honest post. It reminds me of vulnerability... to be vulnerable, to be able to be so open with oneself, and with oneself with others, takes such incredible courage. Only the bravest can really do it.

Lolab - mean to reply to you on the Stella thread, but your recent posts here have been both inspiring and insightful - I'm here nodding me head going "yup, yup... and yup - I get that!" :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Slay, I am so glad that our words are helping clear the fog. It is a hard thing to admit...but when I found myself knocked down to my knees, it was a very good place to start climbing back up. No one tackles this subject better than Lolab...We are ALL blessed to have this mix of people in this nest that we do....we laugh and we cry, but together we can get thru this! B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I don't feel too witty today
so I guess I won't play.
(but I am enjoying reading) :-)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

It's a good thing you have other talents Lola :H...(nothing rhymes with Lolab, either). XXOO, B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Thanks RC and Byrdie...

Embarassingly - in the time it took me to come up with those two rhyming lines, you guys had a couple of posts - LOL...

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I've read over the posts that have appeared since last evening --- so much to think about!
Sweetpea's thoughts on her successful month make me really want to know how that feels! I can tell already that I agree with this:

sweetpea29;1452221 wrote:
Without a doubt what makes this quit different from others is MWO and more importantly the people who make it. Those folk who have been here yrs and not so long offering support and guidance and demonstrating that life can be lived without booze. Ye offer inspiration and motivation.
What ye all do here is priceless.
Words cant convey how grateful i am to the people here:h

I have made it successfully to day 5 by drinking tea with my friends last evening rather than wine. And it went just fine! (And believe it or not, she had some of the tea that was recommended to me by a kind poster - I'm sorry I can't keep everyone's 'names' straight yet! - so I got to give it a try and liked it!).

My new mini-goal is to have my first AF Monday of the month. I noticed on my calendar that of the 17 AF days this month, for some reason NONE have been on Monday. This is my last chance to have one in January and once accomplished, it will be my first 5-day string this month.

Thanks you again for the open, honest posts that offer so much to those of us trying to begin this journey.

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1452236 wrote: It's a good thing you have other talents Lola :H...(nothing rhymes with Lolab, either). XXOO, B

Ehm... crab, prefab, fab, scab, colab

There's a beaut by the name of Lolab
Who according to polls is SO fab
She's wise and she's witty
I wish she lived in my city
Cos Lolab and me could be a co-lab! :H

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I stand corrcted!!! RC, if I were 20 years younger....and single...and lived in Scotland...and were rich, you'd be in trouble! (but that's a lotta if's mate!!) You are such a find!!! B

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

R.C., the king of vocab-
only You could find rhymes for lolab!
Even Byrdie, our sweet, admitted defeat!

But you set us straight with some fine rhyming, mate!