I am back in reality....home from skiing Vail on my 49th birthday Sunday!! It was truly beautiful. And boy, did I get my exercise for the weekend!!
I did so well on the business part of my trip to CO. Stayed sober during the Thursday bore of a "bowling and drinks" party. Awoke Friday completely refreshed and ready to ski. Picked my husband up at the airport. He has a fear of flying so it took awhile for him to warm up to being away from the kids for the weekend. We went out to a fancy restaurant in Vail for dinner. Before I could launch in.....wait, I need to be completely honest.....I could not bring myself to launch in on trying to explain to him why I can't drink anymore. It was such a beautiful place and far from my personal reality. Do you know what I mean? To talk about my alcoholism would be to take us out of that fantasy which was only going to last a couple of days. So, I hit a bump. It was my birthday, I was in Vail, alone with my husband. Yes, all excuses....I must say, I did not overdo it but I did drink. Driving home from the airport last night in the sleet and rainy highways all I could think about was going out and buying a bottle of wine to relieve the stress of traveling all day...through the snowy rockies, rushing to get flight after dropping off rental, dealing with screaming child on plane, getting baggage....yuck....but I rejected that thought as an option. So I feel ok today but sorry I let myself down. But luckily for my sobriety, there won't be anymore fantasy trips unlike any other in the near and far future. That was really a once in a lifetime thing (wow, expensive even with the business part of expenses and flight, car service etc. paid for by company)
thanks for putting up with my ramble.
new day: january 28.
Thanks for the wonderful message and honesty.... Welcome back....
rednose
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