Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Almost Free... I'm okay... Amazed by Hippyman and all of you doing this. I had 6 days I think but knew I would drink on vacation ... Like you, Mimi .... I have a part of me that says I'm not that bad... But that's not the voice that haunts me in the early morning when I'm hungover and wondering why in the hell I drink so much...This time i made a list of why I want to quit and emailed it to myself. I'm also reading more on MWO... My husband doesn't think I have a problem and really he doesn't know how much I drink . We also live in a VERY drink oriented state/ culture so it's everywhere all the time ... I'm a very sober looking drunk...Imagine that ... But I know ... You all are my inspiration... Should I set a goal like 30 days? Or do one day at a time? Little confused ....bc I know how it sneaks up on me the thought maybe just one like Byrdie says

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

I just want to stay alive.

I have no eloquent words.

My heart aches for my brothers and sisters who have lost their lives to alcohol: to those who were drunk and to those who were innocent victims.

I saw a woman once, drunk out of her mind, drive across a highway to her death. I watched the entire episode flash before my eyes. I pulled over and held her until paramedics arrived. I held her to my chest and I assured her that her children would be okay. That her children were loved. A police officer arrived and commanded me, "Pull out!!" It was hard to leave her. Soaked in blood, I went home.

Three children died.

When will we learn?

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1456891 wrote:

Are you ready to get AL OUT now? Because if you are, we have a wonderful place to begin....we can teach how to not drink...but we cannot teach you how to drink more responsibly...that ship has sailed...

You with us?? Byrdie

Yes, Dear Byrdie, That ship has sailed. And we are NOT on it.

So... my beloved Nest Friends, does something strange occur at 35 AF Days? I feel that I could fight the world. The ridiculous world that says we can play with fire and come away without the tiniest burn. Really?? I feel SO MUCH emotion. I am ready to punch anyone in the face who offers empty promises to my beloved brothers and sisters who are struggling against all odds to save their lives.

Goodness, I am a tiny (before alcohol), introverted, mind my own business, love to study, white-blonde hair to hips (yes, sorry, naturally a white-haired girl), who does not want to cause trouble -- but today I will happily and with great pleasure - beat the shit out of anyone who causes a Newbie to stumble.

So... is this normal?? :boxer:

[aihflvt]

Newbies Nest

Ican, you get my vote for best MWO handle. Very clever. Just my $.02, be careful of milestones. I had 60 AF days last spring. I "celebrated" by going on the worst bender of my life. I just take it day by day.

[HealthyLiving]

Newbies Nest

Need Advice. So, have been AF for 8 days. Now all the regret, guilt, shame is flooding it. Now that I am no longer drinking...I don't have an easy way to deal with it. So what do I do with all the guilt and shame for all the pain that I have caused the people around me.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1456910 wrote: I just want to stay alive.

I have no eloquent words.

My heart aches for my brothers and sisters who have lost their lives to alcohol: to those who were drunk and to those who were innocent victims.

I saw a woman once, drunk out of her mind, drive across a highway to her death. I watched the entire episode flash before my eyes. I pulled over and held her until paramedics arrived. I held her to my chest and I assured her that her children would be okay. That her children were loved. A police officer arrived and commanded me, "Pull out!!" It was hard to leave her. Soaked in blood, I went home.

Three children died.

When will we learn?

:upset: May their souls R.I.P :l

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

HealthyLiving;1456961 wrote: Need Advice. So, have been AF for 8 days. Now all the regret, guilt, shame is flooding it. Now that I am no longer drinking...I don't have an easy way to deal with it. So what do I do with all the guilt and shame for all the pain that I have caused the people around me.

H.L., Love yourself. The rest will come later.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

HealthyLiving;1456961 wrote: Need Advice. So, have been AF for 8 days. Now all the regret, guilt, shame is flooding it. Now that I am no longer drinking...I don't have an easy way to deal with it. So what do I do with all the guilt and shame for all the pain that I have caused the people around me.

Realize that life doesn't come with a rewind button. You have to accept what you can't change and you can't change the past. You do have control of your future. Focus on that. Keep your thoughts on things that you do want and pay very little attention to what you don't.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hippyman;1456970 wrote: :upset: May their souls R.I.P :l

I love you, Happy Hippy!! I cannot speak for their souls, I do not have a crystal ball, but, my guess is that they wish they had been given a chance at life.

Alcohol took away their young chances.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1456951 wrote: Yes, Dear Byrdie, That ship has sailed. And we are NOT on it.

So... my beloved Nest Friends, does something strange occur at 35 AF Days? I feel that I could fight the world. The ridiculous world that says we can play with fire and come away without the tiniest burn. Really?? I feel SO MUCH emotion. I am ready to punch anyone in the face who offers empty promises to my beloved brothers and sisters who are struggling against all odds to save their lives.

Goodness, I am a tiny (before alcohol), introverted, mind my own business, love to study, white-blonde hair to hips (yes, sorry, naturally a white-haired girl), who does not want to cause trouble -- but today I will happily and with great pleasure - beat the shit out of anyone who causes a Newbie to stumble.

So... is this normal?? :boxer:

If a pill was invented today that allowed me to drink 'normally' I would NOT want it. Being sober is too much fun!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Tess, what a horrilbe story and wake up call to us all!

Healthy, Hippy's got the answer...acc-Cent u ate the positive.. E-Lim in ate the negative...I forget the rest of that song...but you can't move into the future carrying the the heavy burdens of the past! Use your coping skills to try and move your thinking to something more worthwhile! Put yourself on a task. These thoughts will fade...the G/S/R Brothers (Guilt/Shame/Remorse) become distant relatives when you have success on your side! It's a New Day! (sorry, New Day!!)

Tess...yes, your emotions will be all over the place for a little while...BUT, they will even out here pretty soon! I feel the same way about Newbie's, too...and if you think we are bad...see Lav!!!

Ican...sometimes husbands can be the enemy without even knowing it. ONLY one of US knows the hell that AL puts us in (ALCOHELL, as 199days calls it). Most people think (myself was included) that you could just 'cut down' or better, 'just stop'! When I told my hubs I was going to moderate he was overjoyed! This is the answer, he thought. And it woulda been...unfortunately for MOST of us, by the time you think you oughta moderate, it's already got you. So be advised that hubs and even your friends do not understand the depth and the mindset of Addiction Head (Dick Head)!

If you think about it, we all live in a drinking society...unless you are Amish, I don't know how you would escape it. So let's eliminate that as an excuse, deal?
We ALL thought we were sober-looking drunks....so let's let go of that one, too.
What else ya got? Do you get where I'm going with this? We can ALWAYS find a reason or excuse as to why to drink...there at the end, merely drawing another breath was reason enough! I was either drinking...planning on drinking, or recovering from drinking...it was exhausting! Once you can stop bullshitting YOURSELF, you can get down to recovery. Let's face it...you found a site for problem drinkers, joined it, and are posting....Why not set a goal for yourself for 30 days. Here's why...if you sail thru these 30 days with flying colors...have a little trouble at first but then it smoothes on out...then by golly, you might be one of the lucky sots that really just needed to raise your awareness. IF, however, you are craving a drink...looking at the clock...cursing us and the horses we rode in on, white knuckling it until bedtime...spitting and hissing at people when they ask you a simple question....well, pull up a twig...you might be one of us. This isn't a bad thing at all! Giving up AL was the BEST thing I've done in my adult life! It isn't a death sentence...it's a LIFE sentence! Get your plan in place and join us!! Visit the Tool box (link below) and get it down in writing. I tell you...there is nothing like the MindPeace you will have once you get that burden out! Ready?? Let's get started! Byrdie

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1457019 wrote:

If you think about it, we all live in a drinking society...unless you are Amish, I don't know how you would escape it. So let's eliminate that as an excuse, deal?
We ALL thought we were sober-looking drunks....so let's let go of that one, too.
What else ya got? Do you get where I'm going with this? We can ALWAYS find a reason or excuse as to why to drink...there at the end, merely drawing another breath was reason enough! I was either drinking...planning on drinking, or recovering from drinking...it was exhausting! Once you can stop bullshitting YOURSELF, you can get down to recovery. Let's face it...you found a site for problem drinkers, joined it, and are posting....Why not set a goal for yourself for 30 days. Here's why...if you sail thru these 30 days with flying colors...have a little trouble at first but then it smoothes on out...then by golly, you might be one of the lucky sots that really just needed to raise your awareness. IF, however, you are craving a drink...looking at the clock...cursing us and the horses we rode in on, white knuckling it until bedtime...spitting and hissing at people when they ask you a simple question....well, pull up a twig...you might be one of us. This isn't a bad thing at all! Giving up AL was the BEST thing I've done in my adult life! It isn't a death sentence...it's a LIFE sentence! Get your plan in place and join us!! Visit the Tool box (link below) and get it down in writing. I tell you...there is nothing like the MindPeace you will have once you get that burden out! Ready?? Let's get started! Byrdie

Equally, if this were the case, one might also come to realise that AL is, actually, needless. It's a culturally-perpetuated desire, but it's not a need. Indeed, one might simply just come to realise that, well, life's actually as good - if not better - without AL in it.

Really.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Tess, i was a little kid, sitting in the back seat of my parent's car when I witnessed the car in front of us slam into a utility pole, the driver was electrocuted. I was told years later that he was driving drunk. You never forget something like that.

H.L., the best thing to do with that guilt is to let go.....
We absolutely cannot change the past but we can create a better future. We are all doing that here every single day

Byrdie, don't think for a minute that the Amish are AF. Most of them probably are but I've seen plenty of them going in & out of the liquor store. My brother told me a story that he watched an Amish guy trade rides in a bar one night after a few too many. He drove someone's pickup truck home & the other guy took the horse & buggy home. Guess there were some pissed off wives the next morning :H

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Love you, Lav! Love you, Byrdie! If I'm not slobbering all over someone, I'm beating them to a pulp...

Really, we must walk away from alcohol. And not look back. I see no other choices...

I'll be back when I'm in a better mood... :handbag: (so... I just happen to like this little pink purse... Sorry!!)

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1457058 wrote: Love you, Lav! Love you, Byrdie! If I'm not slobbering all over someone, I'm beating them to a pulp...

Really, we must walk away from alcohol. And not look back. I see no other choices...

I'll be back when I'm in a better mood... :handbag: (so... I just happen to like this little pink purse... Sorry!!)

The roller coaster of moods and the sensitivity will be a feature for a little while.

Very little upsets me now, and when it does I do not obsess on it and it passes VERY quickly.
This is not a conscious decision to ACT mellow.....this is a direct result of being sober