Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

No sun here so far this morning, doesn't seem quite right.
I am expecting a visit from my daughter & grandaughter today & I have some work to finish up before they arrive.

Dottie, we went thru the same situation with my FIL 5-6 years ago & resolved all that by applying for Medicaid benefits. You may have to look into that for your Dad. The nursing home people should be able to direct you. Sorry, I know it's a tough situation but there is help out there.
Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Found it!!

The most abusive relationship is the one we have with ourselves.

I am my own child. I was born perfect and beautiful ( I KNOW that, I have seen the photos )
This is how I have been treating my child.

I have starved her for years with eating disorders.
Told her she was fat and ugly time and time again.
Made her work far too hard and gave her hardly any breaks.
No matter how well she did or hard she worked I was never satisfied with her
I never treated her to enough new clothes or did nice things for her to make her feel good.
I fed her drugs every day to shut her up so I didn't have to listen to her.
When she was obviously getting ill I ignored her and didn't get her help.

If this was a child you were given to raise you would be jailed for neglect.

This is so true for many of us, if not all of us. Just remember to take care of yourself.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

that is one powerful message siren!! Thanks
:thanks:

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

I've heard it said that you can only love another to the degree that you love yourself. You can want another more. You can need another more but you can only LOVE another to the degree that you LOVE YOURSELF! Self LOVE comes first!

Siren136;1457334 wrote: Found it!!



This is so true for many of us, if not all of us. Just remember to take care of yourself.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Good morning,

I was very busy yesterday and didn't have a chance to post. I had to do a couple things that are very stressful for me -- driving in a big city (Chicago) and driving for 6 hours straight. I goofed up twice (thank goodness for GPS technology and the confidence that comes from sobriety!). Then, in the evening I had plans to meet friends at a local wine bar.

I did not relax from the stressful driving w/ alcohol nor did I join my friends in their bottle of wine! The most amazing thing to me is that I was not even remotely tempted and when I went to the wine bar, had no trepidation about it. I just knew there was no problem. I don't drink. My hope is that this freedom and certainty remains. It is wonderful!

I have not had a chance to read many posts and now need to get going on the work I did not do yesterday. I hope all of you are doing well and becoming or remaining free of the socially acceptable (as in the way cool and trendy wine bar I was in...) poison!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters! It's another beautiful day AF to enjoy.

Each day I can feel more of my transformation taking place and it feels, well it feels bloody fantastic!!! If you are doubting your decision to give up pouring this mind altering poison into your body or you are struggling with pain and stress in your life that seems overwhelming, I'm here to tell you that darkness can be altered by the light of day again if you take the steps needed and conquer your fears by walking right on through them. Yes, it may be very uncomfortable. Yes, it may deepen the pain before the light comes. Or maybe, just maybe you will be one of the lucky ones that doesn't find issues waiting to be dealt with. Whatever you find, if you face it and deal with it in a sober mind, it will come to the point where life changes for the better even if the path to get there is a tough one because you are choosing action vs. avoidance. Life is meant to be experienced with all our emotions. Sometimes they are tough ones, but giving up alcohol will let you experience the joyful ones that are absent when we are living in the fog of our escape patterns. It is so much better sober. If you've fallen like I have a couple times, just get back up and go at it again each time trying to achieve a little more change. You'll get there and it's worth the effort.

I read a passage in a book over a week ago which I feel may apply to many here.

"In my group, I saw people who felt responsible for the entire world, but they refused to take responsibility for leading and living their own lives."

Just food for thought for anyone that can relate to that today.

I've attached a few visuals.








Hang in there folks. It just gets better!

Love,

Slay Attached files [img]/converted_files/2045845=7400-attachment.jpg[/img] [img]/converted_files/2045845=7401-attachment.jpg[/img] [img]/converted_files/2045845=7402-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1457359 wrote: Good morning,

I was very busy yesterday and didn't have a chance to post. I had to do a couple things that are very stressful for me -- driving in a big city (Chicago) and driving for 6 hours straight. I goofed up twice (thank goodness for GPS technology and the confidence that comes from sobriety!). Then, in the evening I had plans to meet friends at a local wine bar.

I did not relax from the stressful driving w/ alcohol nor did I join my friends in their bottle of wine! The most amazing thing to me is that I was not even remotely tempted and when I went to the wine bar, had no trepidation about it. I just knew there was no problem. I don't drink. My hope is that this freedom and certainty remains. It is wonderful!

I have not had a chance to read many posts and now need to get going on the work I did not do yesterday. I hope all of you are doing well and becoming or remaining free of the socially acceptable (as in the way cool and trendy wine bar I was in...) poison!

AWESOME, No Sugar! We are walking in victory.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
Siren, one of the rewarding things about being in the nest is seeing someone like you. It is amazing the prescence you are having....just like Slay said, reaching for a wing when you needed it, but stretching yours out when you have strength. That list you posted was amazing...helping Hippy with his signature line...brilliant, and reposting Kuya's powerful post was exceptional.. You may not see it in yourself, but you have made tremendous STRIDES in the short time you have been here. I'm so glad you are with us!!

Remember, when you ever think that having a little drink is a good idea...you are about to try and take the cheese from the MouseTrap. BAM!!!!!! As Running Courage says. Even if you are able to get a lil nibble of the cheese...the next time will you be as lucky? The odds are against you. Don't flirt with the MouseTrap! It is out to GET YOU!

As I have read around the site the past few days, it has hit me as to what we are trying to get back to...We are all trying to get back to NORMAL! When we started drinking...everything went out of whack...and has been whacked out ever since. We are seeking normal again. NORMAL is very good. (Thanks Turnagain for your wisdom in the 100 day thread). You've hit it spot on! RC made a great point, too...when you can look at AL as just fluid in a bottle...THAT is normal. It's a journey, but it is worth it. Just stay OUT of the Mousetrap!!! Byrdie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I was thinking the same thing Byrdie...about Siren. Great advice to Jennie, Siren. Jennie, I had bad headaches on and off for a couple of months. Great job on taking care of yourself. Slow down - it's a process. :-)

Slay, you sound like a different person. I love it.

Byrdie, I'm feeling pretty normal lately! I didn't even know what that was! But when you're in it, you can feel like normal can be boring. i think because we're actually "dealing" with the mundane aspects of life that we used to freak out over, or brush under the rug....We all deal with stressors every day - it's our choice how we react to them....and it's a helluva lot easier to react rationally when alcohol is not in the picture. Boring? yes. Effective? oh yeah.

I'm off to do some boring stuff. :-)

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

I went to see a counselor for the first time yesterday. I explained my life in a nutshell: "Hero child" (which I detested); Worked from 17 - 20 to earn money for college; Married at 21; Became a drunk at 23; Got sober at 28; Became exceedly angry at 35 Days AF. The counselor asked, "Tess, what is 35 Days AF?" 35 days of sobriety. I feel angry because alcohol is everywhere in our culture and it is paraded as being fun and cool, when really, it is a poison that destroys countless lives every day.

The counselor used the analogy of a bus to describe a person. We all have many aspects to our personality, she explained, just like there are many types of people on the bus. How we are feeling and how we are responding to those thoughts and feelings depends on who is driving the bus. For me, right now, the Rebel is at the wheel. (I'm not explaining this nearly as well as she did.) She went on to assure me that getting good and angry is part of the healing process, especially for someone who usually maintains tight control of "negative" feelings such as anger.

So... I think I'm onto something good with counseling. I need to work on my relationship with my parents. I didn't have time to discuss this with the counselor, but I have wondered if drinking gallons of beer and ballooning from my healthy 110 pounds to 220 pounds was, subconsciously, a "visual message" to my parents that I am not perfect: that I am normal flesh-and-blood. The pressure of being a "Hero child" is tremendous. My parents always have (had, until I got fat) numerous pictures of me staged throughout their house, yet very few pictures (if any) of my siblings. There is just something "not right" about that.

I hope all of you have a good AF day. I'm off to school. ~

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Dear Nestmates :l

Star here, signing in and checking on everyone. My jobs these days are keeping me way too busy- but I am so thankful that I am in a point in my life that I can handle the stress with not a thought of using the beast to "make things all better" Ha-
I am enjoying my sobriety so much, these days- and I owe it all to this website and this nest. I am checking in as much as possible, but haven't had much time to post. Just want you all to know how special you are to me and how much you mean to me. If you are just starting out, just remember- Stick with it- It gets better and better!

:h to all

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

I would have liked to tell you this morning that I know exactly where I stood with my husband. Last night he wouldn't even make eye contact or talk.

If he does say something I am going to point out that I don't think he could stop drinking and keep the friends that we have.

I admit that I have a problem. His isn't to the extent as mine but if he wants me to stop drinking, I can't be around our friends, at least for now. Everything is centered around alcohol and I find it funny that he encourages others to have "just one more".

I do want to quit completely, not for him but for me. I just hope he will give me another chance.

I am going to a fitness camp the end of March and will be gone 3 weeks. I am hoping it will be a life changing experience and will help the alcoholism. I just need time.

[grade1/2]

Newbies Nest

Why is it that every time I feel great and sober, I want a drink?
Logically doesn't make sense to me

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1457371 wrote: Morning Nesters!
Siren, one of the rewarding things about being in the nest is seeing someone like you. It is amazing the prescence you are having....just like Slay said, reaching for a wing when you needed it, but stretching yours out when you have strength. That list you posted was amazing...helping Hippy with her signature line...brilliant, and reposting Kuya's powerful post was exceptional.. You may not see it in yourself, but you have made tremendous STRIDES in the short time you have been here. I'm so glad you are with us!!

Thanks Byrdie!! I struggle every day, some days more than others. Helping others helps me as well.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hi Grade 1/2- I don't believe I have met you. Welcome! Could the reason that you want to drink when you are feeling "great and sober" be that you are forgetting what it is like to feel "rotten and drunk". I know it never took me very long. I promised myself each morning that "this is it- NO MORE DRINKING!" and then by noon, I was at it again!!! Short memory for me.