Newbies Nest

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

i'm very tired after a very long day....tomorrow I am supposed to go into NYC for a conference. The only thing is, I won't be attending the conference because I have meetings with people in town for the conference. In all the years of this conference, these "meetings" are just excuses for everyone to get drunk. I have a lunch and then two cocktail parties I am supposed to go to.

I think I might be coming down with the flu....the "i don't want to drink no matter what so will make up an excuse not to go" flu....
thinking about it anyway...
will decide in the morning.
And Thursday I am supposed to do it all over again.:yuk:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all!

Wow, another busy nest day I see, that's a good thing
I've been rather busy myself today, life is good!

Mimi, I think we had some discussion about this before but you & I have a lot in common. All I can tell you is that I had to stop wanting my husband to act like he cared about what was going on. He is a person with next to no compassion & you can't bleed a rock, right? Focus on YOU & what you need to do to break this addiction. You can figure out the rest later

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest ~ it's snowing here, again.
Lav

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Goodnight my very dear friends. I'm not really going to bed. I'm going to curl up and read. Thank you for bringing me into your sacred circle. Okay, maybe not a sacred circle -- just a place to find belonging and acceptance and someone who understands the miserable hell of alcoholism. Today, my friends, I sat with a woman dying of lung cancer (I volunteer with Hospice), and she held my hand tight as she contemplated her next move. My sweet, dear, cherished loved ones: Love life while life is to be loved. Keep it simple. Keep it pure. Goodnight. ~ :groupluv:

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters. It is indeed a wonderful thing to have all of your support and advice.
My priest (recovering never said recovered) along with my wife insists on AA and 12 steps.

I read the big book it depressed me so much. I just don't think going to meetings to hear how much alcohol destroyed everyone's lives is my answer . I see what it was doing to mine, I have very close friends going down the very same path of ruin and destruction.
It makes me so sad that they can't see that, we aren't drinking from the bottle- The bottle is drinking from us, sucking from us, stealing from us!

I think holding each other accountable is awesome! I need this from everyone here!

Another day AF thank God. I am looking forward to my children counting on their dad again and not the sloppy drunk whose gonna embarrass them again. Looking forward to my wife actually wanting to spend time with me again. Looking forward to going back home and living a normal but AF life. I have been apart from my family for the past 36 days and its killing me. At least I have been almost (I know almost only counts in hand grenades) AF over the last month. A margarita, a few beers and a glass of wine. I can do this with God's help and y'all's support and encouragement. I'm very new but am so glad I found this family!

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Jimmy, so glad you are here!

I was a member of AA for years and didn't much like it. I finally found a regular meeting I felt comfortable in and went every day. After numerous failures over five years, I was able to get two consecutive years together. I got tired of the constant focus on being powerless and my only identity being that of an alcoholic. I wanted to actuallly have a life that is not obsessed with alcohol. Even the constant focus of NOT drinking. I guess I wanted it to become a NON issue at some point. Moving on with life, not a life sentence of meetings, etc.

I had a hard time with the whole 'regimented' recovery process , but felt more comfortable with discussion meetings, where people I knew and liked, basically shared what was going on with them. Kind of like here. I didn't spend much time with Big Book studies, or Step meetings. I found with AA that every meeting has its own 'vibe'. If you find one you like and are comfortable in, then it will probably help you.

Beware of over-eager zealots on the lookout for newcomers. It's easy to get pushed around when you are new and desperate and told you need to be 'willing to go to any length'. (In other words, do whatever they tell you without question).You should take your time and pick your own sponsor, not let them pick you. Remind pushy people that the Big Book says: 'Our book is meant to be SUGGESTIVE only......' so don't let people that you have NOT asked to be your sponsor, telll you that you HAVE to do this or that........just my two cents....it use to piss me off to see newcomers being pushed around by people I knew to be really messed up themselves.

I fell off the wagon about three years ago and have been struggling ever since. I am in another country at the moment (long story) and have attended a few meetings here, but feel pretty depressed when I leave. I discovered MWO at the end of September and now have 66 days. I love it here!

The support and encouragement here is incredible. No dogma, no judgement, no 'our way or the highway' approach. And someone is always around, due to its global forum. There are people from all over the world, sharing what is working for them. Lots of success here.

Some people here also attend AA meetings, some use meds, some supplements, diet, etc. No 'one size fits all'. I'm so glad I found this site and glad you did, too. If you like, you can check in every day on the Newbie's Nest roll call with a lot of other newbies who are just starting or starting over.

Spend some time reading back and get to know us. So glad you found us and look forward to getting to know you,too. Welcome aboard!

[Persephone1]

Newbies Nest

Day 12+

Hello my fuzzy nesting friends :wings:,

It's the wee hours and I'm awake...and I hope you're all resting peacefully. I've terrible insomnia, though after this I will put on my binaural meditations and hopefully fade off...

I just spent a great deal of time composing my post only to realize that I combined people from different threads, posted it and then noticed I had screwed up royally. I am NOT drunk, I promise! I type it out on a blank sheet first, as sometimes my posts get caught in limbo and I lose them, so this way they are saved. Anyway, I will now post what was intended for the lovely nest...

:welcome: Jimmy, Grade1/2, Ginger and Mimi. Hope that you find inspiration, encouragement and comfort here...The people here are quite wonderful.

AlmostFree & NSugar, I am with you re: AA, I could not hang for various reasons. I consider myself spiritual, but IMO, god has nothing to do with this mess I put myself in and it didn't seem right to place any/all the responsibility on him/her to save me from it/myself. And that was all I heard when I attended. This forum is empowering. It gives us a place to unite, be accountable, and find and use the tools that work for us individually. And that is invaluable. I believe AA does work for some, but recovery, like god/religion is very personal and we each have to find our own way...My Way Out!

OverIt, Byrdie, Kuya and Lav - your attitudes are stellar. You take full responsibility for your sobriety and that is so freakin' powerful! No thing and no person stands in your way. Thank you for your examples.

Jenni, all the best with your flu/conference?will be pulling for you!

Today is day 12 for me and I've had a rough couple of days. Today I had no desire to poison myself, but it's been emotionally draining. I isolated today and regretted it in the evening when it was too late to go anywhere. However, I made a commitment to check in here daily whether I feel like it or not.

This poison is nothing to F around with. I've just begun to see how serious this is and how valuable life is. We cannot afford to give this shit poison another day, another chance to ruin our lives or someone else's. It's so not worth it.

Another day, grateful for this forum and the wonderful people here. :thanks:

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Jimmy and all who commented about AA:

I agree with everything everyone said. However, I do go to meetings and I do have a sponsor. My sponsor is not pushy and she lets me lead my own way out of alcoholism and so I feel fortunate for that. There are those zealots who try to dictate how you get sober and they are really annoying. There are also people at the meetings who pass judgment on others. Everyone claims that isn't so, but I am not stupid. I can see it in their eyes.

So, why do I got to meetngs? I consider it a supplement to MWO. It doesn't hurt. IT DOESN"T HURT. AND, you actually speak with people face to face. There are people there who are normal and SOBER and who you will be able to relate to. They are the hardest to meet/get to know because they are not vocal and are not jumping up and down screaming at you on how to stay sober. So, with patience, I have met some pretty cool people who don't TELL me what to do but simply tell me how they handled a similar situation, etc. in their past. It is also great to make friends who are sober.

Long story short, everyone is different. Don't write off AA without giving it a go. If some aspect of it doesn't sit well with you, let it go and focus on the other stuff that you can relate to. Give it a good try and after a couple of weeks of meetings, you will be able to make an informed decision on what is best for YOU.

One thing I know for sure, in getting sober I hear a lot of crap that is not helpful to me or that doesn't sit well with me. I just let it go and grab on to the bits and pieces that help...Most of those bits and pieces come from MWO but I also benefit from AA.

hope this is a bit/piece that helps you!!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi and :welcome: to Jimmi.....hope you enjoy our company on this journey. I did nine weeks last year on my own....it was doable but lonely.

Perse...hi again you are right about us taking responsibility. If people are still looking to blame others or situations it is a struggle. It is like dieting....no one can stop you eating, no one can make you exercise, if you cheat you are the only one failing but you will do better with a personal trainer. Here at MWO you have DOZENS of personal trainers, each with different tips, use what suits you and ignore what doesn't.

( but don't criticise any method, if it worked for them it may work for someone else )

Jenni ...so good to see you so positive and successful.

To all nesters ......just keep adding the days. I have six months in a couple of weeks. It has flown by and now there are not enough hours in a day to do all that I would like.
Before I had plenty of time because all I would LIKE to do was drink......what a waste !

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Looks like things are going well in the nest. You guys can get sober and stay sober. I did it and am continuing to do it. SO CAN YOU! I KNOW YOU CAN!!!

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Happy Wednesday everyone. Well we're over the "HUMP" and well on our way to another weekend. Speaking of humps have any of you gone to the "Holy land Experience" in Orlando? They have a camel there named Kaboo. The first time I went there I had a pack of fig newtons in my pocket and shared one with Kaboo. Bad Hippy! Anyways every time I return that camel goes ballistic trying to get out of his enclosure to see if I have any fig newtons with me. How on Earth does he remember that from 10+ years ago? ...and they say that Elephants never forgets?. ..lol Morale of the story (Never feed figs to a camel).and being dry as a desert is a GOOD THING...lol

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Overcast & chilly here in my portion of the nest ~ again!!!
Starting to dream about a nice veggie garden

Hello & welcome Jimmy!
Glad you decided us! You might want to look thru the AA threads here in the Monthly Abstinence section. There are lots of AA fans there discussing their thoughts & feelings.

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Hump Day!
Lav

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends! It is so great to see new newcomers coming together.

I've never been to AA so I won't make any comments about it. What I do know is how strong and powerful the support is here. When I realized that I wasn't getting out of this hell by myself, this forum provided the outside help that I knew I needed. This place works miracles if you put in some work yourself. I keep hearing over and over again about Doctors pushing AA as the only option. I think that is basically like a referral. "I'm not an expert in that field so I'm referring you to a specialist..." A lot of us a very tuned to ourselves and can intuit what we need, if we are being honest with ourselves. Just some of my random thoughts, not really awake yet.

It is really great to see you all today. There have been some wonderful posts lately.

Jenni I think you are absolutely correct about gleaning the parts that work for you, that's very wise. It doesn't mean that they are just the parts you like or even agree with at the time. Being brutally honest with yourself is important.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

There is a time for HEALING. The time is NOW!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIBu2p8FR3o[/video]]Turn Turn Turn / To Everything There Is A Season - YouTube

Persephone1;1457843 wrote: Hello my fuzzy nesting friends :wings:,

It's the wee hours and I'm awake...and I hope you're all resting peacefully. I've terrible insomnia, though after this I will put on my binaural meditations and hopefully fade off...

I just spent a great deal of time composing my post only to realize that I combined people from different threads, posted it and then noticed I had screwed up royally. I am NOT drunk, I promise! I type it out on a blank sheet first, as sometimes my posts get caught in limbo and I lose them, so this way they are saved. Anyway, I will now post what was intended for the lovely nest...

:welcome: Jimmy, Grade1/2, Ginger and Mimi. Hope that you find inspiration, encouragement and comfort here...The people here are quite wonderful.

AlmostFree & NSugar, I am with you re: AA, I could not hang for various reasons. I consider myself spiritual, but IMO, god has nothing to do with this mess I put myself in and it didn't seem right to place any/all the responsibility on him/her to save me from it/myself. And that was all I heard when I attended. This forum is empowering. It gives us a place to unite, be accountable, and find and use the tools that work for us individually. And that is invaluable. I believe AA does work for some, but recovery, like god/religion is very personal and we each have to find our own way...My Way Out!

OverIt, Byrdie, Kuya and Lav - your attitudes are stellar. You take full responsibility for your sobriety and that is so freakin' powerful! No thing and no person stands in your way. Thank you for your examples.

Jenni, all the best with your flu/conference?will be pulling for you!

Today is day 12 for me and I've had a rough couple of days. Today I had no desire to poison myself, but it's been emotionally draining. I isolated today and regretted it in the evening when it was too late to go anywhere. However, I made a commitment to check in here daily whether I feel like it or not.

This poison is nothing to F around with. I've just begun to see how serious this is and how valuable life is. We cannot afford to give this shit poison another day, another chance to ruin our lives or someone else's. It's so not worth it.

Another day, grateful for this forum and the wonderful people here. :thanks:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

good morning! Welcome to all the new folks and all the returners.

No words of wisdom from me. I'm tired of being cold. I love living where the seasons change - but damn it - I am ready to look in my closet in the morning and not just automatically grab the warmest thing I can find.

Almost free - I really liked your welcoming post to jimmy. :-)

Off to drink something hot.
Lola

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Hippy you crack me up!

Hippyman;1457902 wrote:
Happy Wednesday everyone. Well we're over the "HUMP" and well on our way to another weekend. Speaking of humps have any of you gone to the "Holy land Experience" in Orlando? They have a camel there named Kaboo. The first time I went there I had a pack of fig newtons in my pocket and shared one with Kaboo. Bad Hippy! Anyways every time I return that camel goes ballistic trying to get out of his enclosure to see if I have any fig newtons with me. How on Earth does he remember that from 10+ years ago? ...and they say that Elephants never forgets?. ..lol Morale of the story (Never feed figs to a camel).and being dry as a desert is a GOOD THING...lol

Hippy....you make me laugh!