Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Persephone...so true...I wonder how many movies I "watched" in my lifetime that I really have no clue what they are about??? Because I either fell asleep or was semi-conscious. Which was every night.

NOt to mention the daily activities I "missed" while I was there but I wasn't....

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - Day 6, and 33 hours away from it being 7 days from my last drink.

MS -- Way to go with the gym! That's helped me a lot. If it has a sauna, take advantage -- there's something very therapeutic about sweating out some of the toxins we've been pouring into our bodies. It feels WONDERFUL.

Byrdie -- my stash was in the bottom of my china cabinet. Nobody goes in there more than twice a year for the fancy dishes during holidays. In fact I think I still have a bunch of empties hiding in there I need to get rid of!

Tess -- I think sobbing uncontollably with your therapist is kind of mandatory -- at least that's what I told myself when I had one! If you feel better when you leave, you're getting the therapy regardless of whether you say anything, I think. I eventually quit my therapist, because I decided to spend my money on gin again rather than therapy. That I do NOT recommend.

A week ago, I promised not to congratulate myself about anything until I got to exactly 7 days, so I'm excited! Except I hope I'll be fast asleep when I get to that 33rd hour, as it will be about midnight. Also have a party I need to attend for a colleague in a bar tomorrow night, but will be home by 10:00. Like Fin, I have always been the life of the party with my female friends, so not drinking will raise eyebrows. I'm not ready to out myself to anyone, so I'm taking the chickenshit way out and going to claim to be on antibiotics for some mystery ailment I haven't decided on yet. Anyone have any ideas?

I've lied so much while about my AL problem, I figure one more lie won't hurt as long as it's supporting me being AF!

Peace to all,

Elliesmom

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ellie, I am so happy for your soon-to-be 7 days...I bet Star is warming up her Moon right now! For your function tomorrow, be SURE to go with a full tummy...go a little later, and leave early! I tell people that AL doesn't agree with my delicate constitution, or I'm having tummy issues...I actually do have ulcerative colitis so if anyone presses I pull that out, which hushes them up in a hurry. You may be surprised at how few people care what you are drinking. If you choose to drink water like I do, you'll never get stuck with the check, either! Good luck! Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1458507 wrote: Kuya, very good point. Quitting is not a hope or a wish, it is "one day at a time" and a plan. It is only the afternoon for me here in Germany so I'm making my plan now. I packed my gym bag when I was home for lunch so immediately after work I am going to go to the gym (I love working out), drive immediately home, make a big salad, build a fire in the fireplace and relax on the couch. I'm staying away from shopping and the grocery store... I have enough healthy food at home! I also have a case of sparkling mineral water in the cellar so I'll mix up a healthy lemon/cucumber/water drink. I'm actually thinking about starting a personal daily planner so I don't get off track, including shopping lists. Thank you for the support and encouragement!

I am glad to hear that you are planning

Now for one more observation, you are going to the gym ( good I suppose, exercise is good for endorphins) going straight home (good) and eating salad. Ummmm..... You are in a cold northern climate, feeling depressed, first days of quitting booze, exercising and eating SALAD.
Sounds like you are dieting and quitting booze at the same time......this is superwoman thinking, this is NOT self love, this is punishment.

I took no additional exercise for 4 months. I ate good food and plenty of it. I gained 2kg. I was very kind to myself. I am now nearly six months sober and have lost 8kg.

I think you need to modify the plan a little.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1458700 wrote: Persephone...so true...I wonder how many movies I "watched" in my lifetime that I really have no clue what they are about??? Because I either fell asleep or was semi-conscious. Which was every night.

NOt to mention the daily activities I "missed" while I was there but I wasn't....

And did you sneakily re-watch the movie or TV show the next day as I have been known to do so you could somewhat intelligently discuss it? That is a real drag when you have to re-watch one you don't even like just to avoid detection!

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

Hi Lola, I have 2 types of movies too. Those I've seen sober, and those that I remember starting, but not finishing. It is still a source of embarassment when I discuss movies with my wife, but I like those reminders. Actually finishing movies and then going to bed thinking about them was very novel to me when I went AF...

Hi MeinS., I think the excercise should help you. It is a big part of my quit, and never fails to bring me out of a bad mood.

Star, I hope everything is ok with you! Sending you some good thoughts.

IrishTea, Peacekeeper, and JimmyDama welcome!

Tess I see what you are getting at with "stages" etc. I think about that alot, but haven't come up with anything yet. It shows itself to me when I imagine a response to someone's post, and then someone comes along with a much much better response. I'm still thinking about this...

Persephone, I'm glad to see that you are doing well.

Ellie's Mom, I'm excited for you too! I thought that I might "raise eyebrows" too when I went to events that I usually drank at, and didn't. It turns out that the big deal was all in my head, not theirs.

Have a great AF day everyone!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1458609 wrote: Hi Kuya, good question. I've always been a social drinker and sort of thrive on being a fun person to have at the party. So, it's a massive shift in the way I am in the world when thrust into social circumstances. Performing live music as I do is also a massive trigger. The gregarious persona vs. the more centered and sober persona. I'm not special. My triggers are so typical it's boring.

Last time around I did manage to perform sober and actually had a great time, but I wouldn't say I was comfortable. Regardless, that didn't crack me. The last two caves happened in the company of old friends who I have a long history of boozing among. The last time I caved we were camping and there's a massively strong association there. I feel so out of place off AL when I'm usually in the center of the mayhem -- nothing obnoxious, just silly banter and stories around the fire. That said, on that last cave I went down hard. You know that instance where you realize how tweaked you are?

Good lord. I was so tanked I could hardly see straight. One fireman buddy who is sensitive to my challenge said I passed out and didn't move for four straight hours. I was glad he was by my side. That's frickin' scary and embarrassing. It's too much. I use to drink a few beers and call it good, but now I can't seem to get enough. WTF?!

So, long answer to your question is I have to really keep my distance from these people for as long as it takes me to have enough will and resolve NOT to cave. I have to also realize that it's okay not to be known as a good party pal. It's actually desirable as there are so many other things I can do socially during the day that don't currently include AL - like mtn bike rides, hikes, fishing and playing music casually vs. on stage. It's going to be a battle, but having awakened so refreshed this AM, there's good motivation for doing this work.

This increase in levels of consumption is common Fin, which is why this is a progressive and often fatal disease. Also every quit gets harder as the brain increases GABA receptors to compensate for the withdrawal.

Sad scary but true.

You must keep your distance for a while....good friends will understand......you are fighting for your life as are most of us here.
Getting sober for most is not a health and lifestyle CHOICE, it is, or will become if we continue, a battle against a terminal illness.

Dig deep my friend :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Tess...I know of those stages you are speaking of...I saw it here recently, let me go fish for it...stand by. B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

4 Stages of Alcoholism

Tess...found it...here you go!
Posted by mario

Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: Dublin Republic of Ireland


The 4 stages of alcoholism

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Alcoholism is a progressive degenerative disease that includes the following four symptoms: craving, physical dependence, tolerance, and the loss of control.

Alcoholism is a complex topic that can be better understood when it is studied and assessed via the four alcoholism stages. And keep in mind that when the term "alcoholism" is used, this also means "alcohol addiction," "alcohol dependency," or "alcohol dependence."

Alcoholism: The First Stage

In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions. Stated differently, during the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is, in many instances, a psychological attempt to escape from reality. For instance, early in the disease an individual starts to depend on the mood-altering effects of alcohol.

Another observable characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops, meaning that more and more amounts of alcohol are needed for the individual to "get high" or to "feel the buzz." For example, it is common for problem drinkers in the first stage of alcoholism to start gulping one or two drinks before attending a social function and then to increase social drinking to 3 to 5 drinks per day.

Alcoholism: The Second Stage

In the second stage of alcoholism, the need to drink becomes more powerful. For example, it is common during this stage for the problem drinker to start to drink earlier in the day.

As tolerance increases, furthermore, the individual with the drinking problem drinks not because of psychological tension or stress relief, but because of his or her dependence on alcohol. During this stage of the disease, even though the "loss of control" does not occur on a regular basis, it is, nevertheless, starting to become more noticeable by others such as relatives, family members, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

Also during this stage of the disease, the problem drinker may begin to feel more concerned and embarrassed about his or her drinking. Often during this stage, problem drinkers are unsuccessful in their attempts to stop drinking.

In this stage, physical symptoms such as hangovers, blackouts, hand tremors, and stomach problems increase. Interestingly, instead of seeing their drinking as the root of the many problems and issues they experience, however, drinkers with a drinking problem in this stage frequently start to blame others and things external to themselves for their difficulties.

Alcoholism: The Third Stage

In the third stage of alcoholism, the loss of control becomes more severe and more observable. This means that problem drinkers are unable to drink in accordance with their intentions. For example, once the individual takes the first drink, he or she commonly can no longer control further drinking behavior, in spite of the fact that the intent might have been to have just "one or two drinks." It should be stressed that an important aspect of this stage of the illness is the following: the drinker often starts to experience more serious drinking problems as well as alcohol-related employment, relationship, financial, and legal problems.

In the third stage of alcoholism, it is common for the problem drinker to start avoiding friends and family and to show a lack of interest in activities and events that once were fun or important. Also typical during this stage are "eye-openers," that is, drinks that are taken whenever the problem drinker awakens. Eye-openers are taken mainly to "calm the nerves," lessen a hangover, or to quiet the feelings of remorse the individual occasionally experiences after a period of time without consuming a drink.

As the drinking increases the individual with the drinking problem starts to neglect most things of importance, even necessities such as food, water, personal hygiene, shelter, and personal interaction. And finally, during this stage, the drinker often makes half-hearted attempts at getting professional medical assistance.

Alcoholism: The Fourth Stage

The fourth and last stage of alcoholism is characterized by a chronic loss of control. In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker may have been successful in maintaining a job. Due to the fact that drinking during this stage frequently starts earlier in the day and commonly continues throughout the day, however, few, if any, full-time jobs can be maintained under these conditions.

In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker had a choice whether he or she would take the first drink. After taking the first drink, the drinker typically lost all control and would then continue drinking. In the last stage of alcoholism, however, alcoholics no longer have a choice: they need to drink in order to function on a daily basis.

During the fourth stage of alcoholism, benders are typical. More to the point, in the fourth stage of alcoholism the alcoholic frequently gets helplessly drunk and may remain in this predicament for a number of days or weeks. The unattainable goal for the drinker while engaging in his or her bender is to experience the "high" they he or she once experienced.

In the second or third stages of alcoholism the drinker's hands may have trembled slightly on mornings after getting drunk the previous night. In the fourth and last stage of alcoholism, conversely, alcoholics get "the shakes" whenever they attempt or are forced to refrain from drinking.

These tremors are an indication of a serious nervous disorder that now affects the drinker's entire body. When "the shakes" are combined with hallucinations, furthermore, the result is known as "the DTs" or delirium tremens. The DTs are a potentially deadly kind of alcoholism withdrawal that almost always takes place unless the alcoholic receives immediate alcoholism treatment. It may come as no surprise that after an attack of the DTs, more than a few alcoholics promise to never drink again. Sadly, most of them do not and cannot fulfill their promise. Consequently, they more often than not return to drinking and the alcoholic drinking patterns and drinking problem start all over again.


From the information discussed above, it can be concluded that the four stages of alcoholism paint a bleak picture for individuals who are alcohol addicted. Perhaps learning about the destructive and damaging outcomes and the unhealthy nature of alcoholism may not make a much of an impact on most individuals who are already chronically alcohol dependent.

It is hoped, however, that by exposing the facts about alcohol dependency and about the stages of alcoholism to our youth BEFORE they start consuming alcohol in an abuse and irresponsible manner will prevent many of our teenagers from experiencing the drinking problems and the unhealthy and devastating realities suffered by most alcoholics

Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,
copied from web.

__________________

Interestingly tho, Miss Tess....they ALL have the same CURE!!!
xo, Byrdie

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1458719 wrote: Tess...I know of those stages you are speaking of...I saw it here recently, let me go fish for it...stand by. B

Byrdie - Standing by -- and smiling because you are such a joy. :cheering

Have you ever cried so much that you can't cry anymore?

That's okay (I tell myself), I will kiss all of your boo-boos.

That's the VERY MATERNAL part of me. Guess I should have a dozen kids. Or maybe not...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Tess, you have a reason to cry! You are giving up something comfortable....or at least, familiar. Your emotions will be all over the place...you will even out. Especially when you have that moment when you realize how much MORE you are getting from NOT drinking than you ever were with booze on board. AL is the Great Enhancer...it makes us feel things that aren't real...like we NEED it.....that we are more likable, sexier, more socail. It don't tell us we are loud, obnoxious assholes, unfortunately. It is the most cunning opponent I've ever faced. It is hard to look at where we've been sometimes...but I'll tell you this...the path ahead is 1000 times better than the path behind us...
Have a good cry! It is ok. Hugs, B

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1458624 wrote:

Fin...YOU are down there! That person you think AL brings out??? He's there! It takes a while to peel back the onion, but that personable party guy is living and breathing! I will assure you of that...I'd have never believed it myself, but it's true!! There are many layers of crap to work thru to get him out tho....and you are heading in the right direction!!

Hang tough, all!! Byrdie

Thank You, Byrd. I'll try and remember this!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1458720 wrote: Tess...found it...here you go!
Posted by mario

Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: Dublin Republic of Ireland


The 4 stages of alcoholism

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alcoholism is a progressive degenerative disease...
__________________

Interestingly tho, Miss Tess....they ALL have the same CURE!!!
xo, Byrdie

Thank you, Byrdie!!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1458725 wrote: ...AL is the Great Enhancer...It don't tell us we are loud, obnoxious assholes, unfortunately....Have a good cry! It is ok. Hugs, B

Once we stop crying, dear loved ones come along and make us laugh... Thank you!! :thanks:

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1458730 wrote: Thank you, Byrdie!!

Yes, thank you! I have never considered this progression which gives me so much more reason to get this shit under control before it gets totally out of control. I have definitely noticed my consumption going up and up even beyond my regular 6 IPA which is already insane. I've pushed that to 8 and 9 on some nights. Anyway, great post. Thanks again...