Newbies Nest

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Daisy: I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could do, I'll definitely say a prayer for you and your family! Hang tough, you just have to.

Have a good evening nesters, it was a taxing day, I'm gonna take y'all's advice and eat too much tonight and get some rest. Hope everyone in the NE weathers the storm. It's so comforting to know that y'all have my back!!! Goodnight. AF for 5 now )

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Daisy...as you well know, I have recently been thru a similiar crisis with my dad...drinking would not have made it better...it will not bring him back now. It makes everything worse. Has your home been rid of AL? You must set yourself up to succeed...
Your family needs you and YOU need you...to make decisions and have a clear head and to hold it together. Drinking will compound ALL the problems, it will not improve one single thing. Get hold of yourself....and keep it together. It is important!! Now more than ever! You can do it...B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Tess, I posted the other day that I ate AT people and drank at people and all it did was make me a fat drunk. When you drink to get even with other people is what we were referring to. Have a great night! B

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

I know - just such a mess. He looked like a wee baby tonight - he said 'I had a really good day and then a phone call came and the arse fell out of the bucket!!!' He just thinks the treatment is delayed for a few days.....
Imagine what he'll feel on Monday. Anyway, thank you both. I need to re-group my thoughts tomorrow. Doing what Kuya said and posting..
Byrdie, hope you are doing ok. x

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Daisy45..... This is a very hard time and it is hard to advise you. Post here and minimise the alcohol as low as you can manage, get support to achieve the best you can so that you can be as present as you possibly can be for your dad at this time.

:l:l:l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Don't worry about me! You are a sweetie....your strength can only come from a sober Daisy...AL will make you fall apart, and THIS is not the time for that. Right now, pull all of your wits together and do this for you...and your dad! I know it is sad, but AL only makes it WORSE, you DO NOT NEED AL, you only think it will help...but that is FALSE and you know it. You need to do this...and NOW is the time! Stick with us...stay strong. B

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

I am grabbing on to any words right now that will help. You know when you know what is right and you go against it???? I am hearing you and I do know, just need to get my head in gear. Thank you Byrdie and Kuya....means a lot. Think I done 4 posts today so that is a good sign - yea? Nitey nite. x

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nighty...yes, posting is the best thing...tomorrow is another day and we can work on things more in a new light of day. Try and get some rest...xo, B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

So much going on in the nest today!!!

Congrats to Elliesmom, great job

Daisy, I'm very sorry that you & your family are suffering so much. I spent my life working in the medical field & I have to say something....
Do you have home care/hospice services available where you are? It really woulf be the best thing for your Dad now & for the entire family as well. Please PM me if you like.

The big winter storm seems to have bypassed my area so far. I hope the folks living up north are OK!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1459413 wrote: K9 - What is AT? I have my protective wing around you. Something here is kind of giving me the creeps. Not you. Just something...

How are you Tess? Is something bothering you?

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thx Byrdie, irish, k9. I made it! Thanks for ALL support. Daisy praying for you! Being drunk won't make anything easier though. Hang tough. Think it through to the real end which isn't just a calming drink but a wasted night and hangover, guilt, shame, irritability....Tess idk if I scared you ... Sorry I just meant I was frustrated at someone and when I feel like that I drink to kill my frustration and use that person as an excuse .... Never hurts them but sure has hurt me for 20 years... K9... Diablo? Really? Stealing your shoes is wrong!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters! It's been a long day for Slay, but a good day. I spent time building back a more healthy relationship with my daughter. It's common to have guilt or issues with kids when as adults we haven't set such a great track record or example in dealing with life's problems and stresses. What I'd like to express to anyone struggling a bit in that area is that it is never too late to heal or repair those relationships. Our kids naturally love and want a healthy relationship with us...it may not be today, but they grow up and begin to understand that we are human, so if you've made mistakes, pledge to yourself today that you will stay in a sound mind free of alcohol and begin to work through those issues. It will give you such relief to know that you are doing everything you can to provide that kind of relationship. It may have rough spots or be an uphill battle for awhile, but YOU will know that you are doing your best and that is so healthy for both YOU and your children. Hey, most of us gave our parents a run for their money, too. So, what you see today isn't necessarily what you'll get tomorrow if you take the steps to build a better future.:l:h

Tess, you have such a sweet heart in you. All of us have struggles whether we are the popular cheerleader, prom queen or Goth rebel. It just appears in different ways. Live on your terms, not anyone elses.

Mimi, Lolab has some good advice, but I'm wondering if maybe getting a counselor to talk out your feelings with may not be a bad idea? It's hard to truly gauge anyone's exact situation here, but when some of us get sober, we start dealing with all the issues we've been escaping. Having a clear mind free of the fog and confusion AL causes will help you to make better decisions regarding your life and take proper actions. In time, you'll figure out what is right for you.

Kuya, thank you. You sound good, too! It's much better facing my issues without taking an escape route. Waiting and escaping only leaves a person in limbo and unhappiness. Facing issues head on with action is empowering and is living life instead of just accepting life. It hasn't been easy, but getting to the other side of a problem often isn't. When we are in the pain, it can seem like there is no light, but oh how great it is when you start to see it again!

In regards to the other issue, social pressure and programming can be so harmful to self acceptance and care. Men face it as well. It's too bad it takes us so long to work at setting ourselves free. I now see it as one of the perks of aging. Hey, at least we get wisdom.

Irishtea, you've removed that question from your mind. Better now than later. Ready, set, go...

Ican, it's useful to recognize those triggers so you can understand them and plan alternative ways to deal with them. We all go through it. Keep grabbing a hand till you get the hang of it.

Too ALL a good night.

Love,

Slay

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

That's what I meant by drinking "at" someone. My ex boyfriend drove me to drink more times than I can remember...but the only person it hurt was me.

Ican...yippee! You made it! I knew you would...good job!

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

My dear friends in the nest. I hope you all stay safe and warm tonight.

I have slid back this last week and a half as work and life has been overwhelmingly stressful. Some of you are aware that my husband has asked me for a divorce and that we are trying to work through our issues. My department is reorganizing and I'm not sure if I will have a job next month.

I will be fine. I will stay close to the nest, but please give me the weekend to sort my stupid brain out. I will be back and I will fight for my AF life.

I am so very broken right now. Thank God I don't have kids. I know AL isn't the long term solution. I just need to get my feet back under me and decide what I'm going to do.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Siren ....... TRY to rest this weekend, sleep is a fantastic healer, one that I owe my survival to. And be kind to yourself.

I hope you can work it out with hubby.