Newbies Nest

[reriveritas]

Newbies Nest

Hi. My name is Reri (sounds like very).

I am here, although I haven't decided to quit today yet. I have decided to quit on Saturday, when I will begin a challenge with some of my friends. Truth be told, it just seems like I want "one more day".

I've been trying to get sober for years, managed a few way back when, and I manage to stay sober for a month here and again. However, I haven't managed to achieve what I really want SOBRIETY.

I want to be sober for years, a lifetime, and I want to feel comfortable with that.

After years of trying, I DO (seriously) control my drinking. I drink 2x/week, and I never have more than 2. No matter, it doesn't change anything. I still wake up ashamed. I still wake up feeling ill. I still regret doing it, b/c I really don't want to drink at all.

The feelings are the same regardless of the habit or addiction. Alcohol is poisonous to me, yet I feel compelled to drink it. I tell myself it's for fun or relaxation or to make my boyfriend feel comfortable while he has his beer, but 90% of the time when I drink, I wish I hadn't.

I feel ill for days after. My productivity is diminished. My self-esteem decreases.

I ordered one of the drugs recommended in hopes that I'll feel less compelled to drink. I hope I can find a place here regardless of my "quantity". I can assure you, I wouldn't be here if I could do this alone.

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

thelaststraw;1461617 wrote: I was apprehensive today because I had to grocery shop. The evil voice kept bugging me while I was working out at the gym, even breaking down & crying of all things. Had to compose myself in the bathroom. It kept nagging me in the stores. Then as I turned into my neighborhood, knowing it would be my last chance to swing by the mini-mart down the highway for 2 days, (tomorrow is our anniversary-will be with hubby all day-he doesn't drink at all) the voice shot me a zinger headache!!!! It was horrible. AL was whining that I didn't invite it to my anniversary celebration. BOO- HOO evil voice. CREEP. I think it is safe to say I'll make it through day 8.
-S-

Straw -- OMG! Same exact dang thing! Was on the treadmill with some heavy thoughts, then BAM the tears start (I tried to pretend it was sweat I had to wipe off). Same craving on the way home, too. But when that voice started up I did a physical check in with myself, and realized I was really thirsty and my stomach was grumbling. I drove home like a bat outta hell to get home and gulped down milk and a sandwich, and that shut it up. Another similarity is that my husband doesn't drink, either. Way to go for stiffing AL's invite to your party, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

WOW you guys have been busy :H

Congrats to the triple moon earners today
7 AF days is a big deal - good for all of you!

Hello & welcome to Reri, halo & Jeffy!
Glad you decided to join us in the nest.
Stay close, you'll learn a lot & feel the love

Straw & Elliesmom, good job ignoring the monkey mind - that's how we win!!!

[halo]

Newbies Nest

I have a question, when does it get easier, my whole life is going to have to change...I am very social and can relate to the comments about being bored, all my friends and family are social drinkers, it is considered impolite to not offer someone a drink when the come for a visit, that is how I was raised ..Do I isolate myself, become a recluse, I don't think I can be around it and refuse so early in the game, so how do I even start? Advice???

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Halo...a really good place to start is the Tool Box, the link is below in my signature line. It starts to get easier the day you make up your mind that enough is enough...Day 1 is the hardest, in my opinion, and the rest is just coping skills and mind games. It is a process, and doesn't happen overnight. The good news is that each day that you put between you and AL is better...it's that distance that you have to have to break loose from it. Getting sober is NOT boring, it is liberating and wonderful...my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner....I was missing out of life by being a slave to a dam bottle. Start out with the Tool Box, get Day 1 under your belt, and take it like I do...all you gotta do is get thru this day! Read back a week or two here in the nest, I just did a road map on what to expect and when...you might find that useful. Settle in and tell us about yourself. Glad you are here! Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Elliesmom;1461740 wrote: Straw -- OMG! Same exact dang thing! Was on the treadmill with some heavy thoughts, then BAM the tears start (I tried to pretend it was sweat I had to wipe off). Same craving on the way home, too. But when that voice started up I did a physical check in with myself, and realized I was really thirsty and my stomach was grumbling. I drove home like a bat outta hell to get home and gulped down milk and a sandwich, and that shut it up. Another similarity is that my husband doesn't drink, either. Way to go for stiffing AL's invite to your party, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Sometimes I want to come round to all of your houses and tattoo this on your foreheads!

IF YOU SEE ME ATTEMPTING TO BUY BOOZE, BUY ME A MEAL



HUNGER IS YOUR NUMBER ONE ENEMY

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, that is the #1 Secret Weapon in the aresenal! EAT!!! Maybe I should stick this in my signature line, too, except it's gettin crowded down there!
It's a shame we are so used to drinking our calories that it doesn't occur to us to eat them instead....sad, but true. B

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters. Wow, this place is moving and growing fast. :welcome: to all the new names. It's been a long day and my brain is about toast...no wise cracks. :nutso:

I hope everyone is staying the course and winning the battle. I get to go to the second floor tomorrow as fin puts it. I wonder if the scenery has changed from my last visit there?

Fin...I forgot to thank you this afternoon. Maybe I'll take your boat out to that magical place in my dreams tonight. On my fb page I get a feed from a site named 'the most amazing places in the world'...what a tease it is. If you are on fb, look it up. Wow...so many amazing places to see.

Halo...First you have to really want to quit enough to make changes to support your quit. For awhile you may have to avoid people that drink. I do and I need to. As far as boring, it seems that way because that is how we are used to entertaining ourselves, but if you start digging within yourself, you'll find there are other passions or interests you have that you weren't experiencing because of the AL use. You'll be living in the real world, not an illusion. You'll start crossing that bridge as you come out of the physical addiction. Ask yourself, do you really want to quit? If the answer is yes, jump in. You'll find support and a common bond here to help you.

Sugar...give up sugar? NO COMMENT!!!:upset:

Hang in there folks. I want to see you all at 0700 hours tomorrow clean and sober! For now...:bedtime:

Night,

Slay

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie! And kuya and last straw.... All of you! Byrdie, I think different days are hard for different reasons .... Day 1 just making the decision but day 4-5 were my worst really craving that stress relief from AL.... Now day 9 just all this time .... Thanks for the suggestions... I did cook a mean gumbo and ate ummmmm okay 3 bowls! Omg .... I'll get out tomorrow and find some things to do... I have 5 kids so that's a full time job there! But I need to find what I like.... My hobby was drinking .... Sad .... Halo you can do it I know it's scary all the changes....my family is exactly the same in that its rude not to offer or accept. I still offer, but I drink diet tonic water w lemon or sprite w lemon.... You just have to be willing to sit with that uncomfortable in your own skin feeling for a while.... I have been studying that feeling in myself like a science project if that makes sense ...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ican...I found that more times than not, I pushed AL on guests. Now I offer them water or diet coke and it works just fine...my hubs has some beer downstairs and he might ask them if they want one of those. I don't get involved with that. Just like you go to homes sometimes and they might offer you a soft drink. I am from the South, and we always offer...but as a kid, it was NEVER AL.

Halo, your perception is going to change a lot...turns out, the whole free world ISN'T drinking like I thought they were. OY!!
Try not to worry about all the what if's...find reasons to succeed, not to fail! If an old hag like me can get sober, I KNOW you can!! There is a whole world out there that it never occurs to them to drink (I know, odd as it is)...and you will be one of them...but it takes some time...one day at a time!! One minute at a time sometimes!! B

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friends,

Welcome to JeffyJeff, Halo, Reri :welcome:

Mein and Lolab, you both have me intrigued about juicing and making smoothies. It is something I always had wanted to get into. Well, I think I will! I saw the documentary, Mein, and I agree that it is very powerful. Part of my plan is to do try to reverse some of the neglect that I put myself through while drinking, on every level (mental, physical, spiritual, etc).

NoSugar, please feel free to share your knowledge here! I am very interested in nutrition.

ICan, congratulations on your 7 days! I remember going through alot of emotional type changes for a while after quitting. My advice is just to go with the flow. Take good care of your body and get enough sleep. Things will start to straighten out eventually.

Reri, this IS your place. I had a similar experience to yours. I seriously cut my drinking down my last couple of years, and I was much more miserable than I had been when I placed no limitations on myself. We are here to deal with getting alcohol out of our lives. I really believe that a person can have an emotional rock bottom. We don't have to end up in that cardboard box to realize it is time to quit. This place does work wonders if you put in some work yourself.

Byrdie, how true about perceptions. I was pretty scared to have quit around the holidays, expecting everyone to expect me to be drinking. It turned out it was pretty anti-climatic. Just another sales pitch by that damn voice...

Elliesmom and Laststraw, you are both champs! Kudos to you both!

Have a great AF night friends.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I had a wonderful long post this morning and then at the end I accidentally deleted it!!! And, of course, now I can't remember what it was about...anyway, very tired after a long couple of days. Going to bed now but hope to catch up with the nest properly tomorrow.

Glad to see some new names here.....And thank you to all the "parents" of the nest. You are all an inspiration and full of very much needed wisdom!!

:hug:

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

Day 8 of being AF is almost over.

Day 2 of no chocolate is almost over as well.

Have a great evening everyone. Just to let you know, I was tempted to stop and get alcohol but because I would have to confess to all of you wonderful people I decided not too.

thanks for being here and going on this journey with me.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Whatever it takes right now mimi, right?
I've been know to unleash Stella the crazy chicken on people for stopping at the liquor store (just kidding).

halo, start a gratitude list!
Sit down & write out the reasons you want to stop drinking. What are your desires & goals? How can you make your life better by eliminating AL? I can think of hundreds of reasons to quit. Life will never be perfect but it will become better, gentler. Waking up without a hangover is awesome. Living without fear & guilt is priceless.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Fork in the Road

Cool...just got done rehearsing with the band sans AL. All the guys / gal drinking my favorite Stone IPA. It really wasn't that bad. Ironically I'm leading a song by the Infamous Stringdusters called "Fork in the Road".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hEl1bBHemI[/video]]The Infamous Stringdusters Presented by Half-Moon Outfitters - Fork in the Road - YouTube

I've taken the right fork this time. Thanks y'all for helping me along this week - I so greatly appreciate it!

Welcome Halo. Don't worry. You're not special. You can do this as many of us came from your exact perspective / history you have today. Know that it is possible.

Be good,
Fin