Newbies Nest
Hello to everyone in the Nest. Today is my 10th day of accountability. 10 days! I'm completely amazed at how I feel. I don't think I've been sober this long in at least 10 years... maybe longer.
Last night I had a horrible realization. I was agitated and cold when I arrived home after having worked late at the office. Then I had to execute my "plan" for the day which included juicing a bunch of fruits and veggies in order to have juice prepared for my juice day today, prepare dinner for hubs and myself, clean up part of the house, prepare V Day gift for hubs... etc. But while executing these tasks I was feeling so compulsive that I ate an entire bag of Doritos! Now, cheese Doritos are not easy to come by in Germany so I was saving this particular bag as a treat for myself once I reached my next goal... day 12... but I COULD NOT STOP EATING. I kept telling myself... "just one more chip then I will put the bag away"... then I realized... that is what I used to do with AL!!!! I remember the endless evenings with the words "just one more glass of wine", only to down the entire bottle (or more). Or "just one more glass of Jack"... or "just one more beer". Of course this was NEVER the case. So I realized that I was executing this compulsive action on the Doritos bag rather than AL. At least it was not AL, but I hated the way that I felt. It was almost a dirty feeling. Plus my insides felt like sh*t after eating AN ENTIRE BAG OF DORITOS. OMG. Where did this compulsive behavior come from? It was crazy. I literally could not stop.
My focus is still wavering. It seems like I can't complete a task without getting sidetracked by another task. I hate this. Plus, every evening I have had an enormous headache, and I hydrate plenty all day long with juice and water, so where is the coming from? Is the lack of focus and headaches a withdrawal symptom?
So... not happy with myself today. Feeling sluggish from all of the chips and sad that I could not stop myself. I need to concentrate on work tasks so I will work on my focus today. I know I need to make my daily plan but I don't have the focus to do that right now, so I will check back later to document my plan for the day.
Thank you to everyone for listening and the support!
And since it is Valentine's Day, take the time today to love YOURSELF! Nobody will love you more than you do. :h:h:h
Hello to everyone in the Nest. Today is my 10th day of accountability. 10 days! I'm completely amazed at how I feel. I don't think I've been sober this long in at least 10 years... maybe longer.
Last night I had a horrible realization. I was agitated and cold when I arrived home after having worked late at the office. Then I had to execute my "plan" for the day which included juicing a bunch of fruits and veggies in order to have juice prepared for my juice day today, prepare dinner for hubs and myself, clean up part of the house, prepare V Day gift for hubs... etc. But while executing these tasks I was feeling so compulsive that I ate an entire bag of Doritos! Now, cheese Doritos are not easy to come by in Germany so I was saving this particular bag as a treat for myself once I reached my next goal... day 12... but I COULD NOT STOP EATING. I kept telling myself... "just one more chip then I will put the bag away"... then I realized... that is what I used to do with AL!!!! I remember the endless evenings with the words "just one more glass of wine", only to down the entire bottle (or more). Or "just one more glass of Jack"... or "just one more beer". Of course this was NEVER the case. So I realized that I was executing this compulsive action on the Doritos bag rather than AL. At least it was not AL, but I hated the way that I felt. It was almost a dirty feeling. Plus my insides felt like sh*t after eating AN ENTIRE BAG OF DORITOS. OMG. Where did this compulsive behavior come from? It was crazy. I literally could not stop.
My focus is still wavering. It seems like I can't complete a task without getting sidetracked by another task. I hate this. Plus, every evening I have had an enormous headache, and I hydrate plenty all day long with juice and water, so where is the coming from? Is the lack of focus and headaches a withdrawal symptom?
So... not happy with myself today. Feeling sluggish from all of the chips and sad that I could not stop myself. I need to concentrate on work tasks so I will work on my focus today. I know I need to make my daily plan but I don't have the focus to do that right now, so I will check back later to document my plan for the day.
Thank you to everyone for listening and the support!
And since it is Valentine's Day, take the time today to love YOURSELF! Nobody will love you more than you do. :h:h:h
This time 4 SURE! 
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