Newbies Nest

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Tess,

I remember a line someone posted here that sobriety is not for sissies. That's for sure!

About the emotional over-reaction and crying, I would do almost anything not to cry, especially drinking. I found it weak and humiliating to cry. In the last five days, since I gave up smoking (and I'm still AF), I'm finding that I am much closer to breaking down and crying (mostly out of frustration) than I ever was with not drinking. I finally just let myself cry and it turned out to be a great relief. It was certainly better than succumbing to a drink or a smoke. Crying is a healthy outlet for the over-reactions we experience in early sobriety. We are going through a lot of stress when we give up our usual coping mechanisms. Give yourself a break!

Hey Kradle, how are you doing?

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Tom Waits

almost free;1462810 wrote: Hi Tess,

I remember a line someone posted here that sobriety is not for sissies. That's for sure!

About the emotional over-reaction and crying, I would do almost anything not to cry, especially drinking. I found it weak and humiliating to cry. In the last five days, since I gave up smoking (and I'm still AF), I'm finding that I am much closer to breaking down and crying (mostly out of frustration) than I ever was with not drinking. I finally just let myself cry and it turned out to be a great relief. It was certainly better than succumbing to a drink or a smoke. Crying is a healthy outlet for the over-reactions we experience in early sobriety. We are going through a lot of stress when we give up our usual coping mechanisms. Give yourself a break!

Hey Kradle, how are you doing?

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

almost free;1462810 wrote: Hi Tess,

I remember a line someone posted here that sobriety is not for sissies. That's for sure!

...I finally just let myself cry and it turned out to be a great relief. It was certainly better than succumbing to a drink or a smoke...

almost free - sounds like you're "mostly free" to me. Big congrats!! I cry because I want "peace on earth," but I know that I can be a horse's ass, sadly... Hubby finally said, "Sweet Tess, skip your classes today and curl up in bed. Really, it's going to be okay. You have not committed the unpardonable sin. Just rest." I want to rest so that he can be at ease. I understand that to witness the suffering of someone we love, and to feel helpless, is draining. So... I'm pretending to rest. (While sneaking in this post. Still a bit sneaky...)

Oh!! I just remembered. I saw something the other day. A sign. And it read: I Can't Do This But I'm Doing It Anyways.

That's us in Newbies Nest: We ARE doing something that we CAN'T do: getting and staying sober. ~

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

I'd like to add LIFE IS NOT FOR SISSIES!!!! We used the AL to escape many things, so in essence it is life that isn't for sissies. We were taking a PERCEIVED easier route. A new friend of mine jokes about AGING not being for sissies. LOL!

I'm on day 21 and to be quite honest, I'm having a craving at the moment. I had a great start to the morning with yoga, a fruit, veggie, yogurt smoothie and a Lavender epson salt bath with candles to rid me of some bad anxiety that popped up last night from my current ugly situation. Anyway, I was at peace employing methods to counteract it. Between the bath and the yoga, my daughter called all strung out...a trigger I've had in the past along with the abusive X. No need to mention what I was exposed to about ten minutes ago that brought the anxiety back, it just did. It's not even about wanting the AL I don't think...it's just a sadness that comes upon me from broken dreams that makes me want to run and hide from it. Ugh! I thought this was lucky 21 day? Guess not; it's really the first real big craving I've had in this AF journey. That need to escape the feelings.

Arrrgggghhh!!

Edit: P.S. - Lolab, does your nutribullet take the Kale all the way to liquid or is there still tiny pieces of kale you chew on? LOL!!! You were correct; I can hardly taste the kale over the fruit, but it didn't break down completely in the blender. Today, I used a small amount of mango peach juice, greek yogurt, kale, banana and strawberries. Tomorrow I will add in ground flax seeds and maybe almond milk without the juice or some ground nuts (to flour).

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

"I understand that to witness the suffering of someone we love, and to feel helpless, is draining."

You said a mouthful there. I've struggled with that so much in my life. One of my current goals is to try to separate myself from the suffering of others. I tend to take it in and feel it as if it's my own issue when I love someone. It becomes too much...the weight of the world and then 'we' drink because it's too much.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Slaythefear;1462835 wrote: I'd like to add LIFE IS NOT FOR SISSIES!!!! We used the AL to escape many things, so in essence it is life that isn't for sissies. We were taking an PERCEIVED easier route. A new friend of mine joke about AGING is not for sissies. LOL!

I'm on day 21 and to be quite honest, I'm having a craving at the moment. I had a great start to the morning with yoga, a fruit, veggie, yogurt smoothie and a Lavender epson salt bath with candles to rid me of some bad anxiety that popped up last night from my current ugly situation. Anyway, I was at peace employing methods to counteract it. Between the bath and the yoga, my daughter called all strung out...a trigger I've had in the past along with the abusive X. No need to mention what I was exposed to about ten minutes ago that brought the anxiety back, it just did. It's not even about wanting the AL I don't think...it's just a sadness that comes upon me from broken dreams that makes me want to run and hide from it. Ugh! I thought this was lucky 21 day? Guess not; it's really the first real big craving I've had in this AF journey. That need to escape the feelings.

Arrrgggghhh!!

Sounds too simple, dear Slay - but try protein. If you're a meat eater, a juicy burger or steak might do the trick (depending on time of day, of course). Yes, I "get" yoga and yogurt; I incorporate those things into my life too. But sometimes I need "real" protein. Maybe it's just me. If you're not a meat eater, then a meat substitute that is substantial: a bowl of meatless chili or a loaded Gardenburger.

Like me today, you can also bawl your eyes out (while eating protein). Love you!! Hang in there!!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1462839 wrote: Sounds too simple, dear Slay - but try protein. If you're a meat eater, a juicy burger or steak might do the trick (depending on time of day, of course). Yes, I "get" yoga and yogurt; I incorporate those things into my life too. But sometimes I need "real" protein. Maybe it's just me. If you're not a meat eater, then a meat substitute that is substantial: a bowl of meatless chili or a loaded Gardenburger.

Like me today, you can also bawl your eyes out (while eating protein). Love you!! Hang in there!!

I'm a meat eater. LOL!!! Yes, I need that protein...a big juicy yummy burger...mmmmmm!
That was my breakfast today. I'm used to a muffin or cookies or something bad for me. lol I'm switching to a healthier replacement in the morning. I had some chili in the freezer I ate for lunch, so I have my protein. I've just had a big reminder of something last night and today that is triggering sadness. I need to hang tough and not give in to it. Tessssting 1, 2, 3...lol. Go ahead and cry Tess. It's very good for you. Let it out; it's like untightening the pressure valve. I don't think I need to cry...I have already cried over this situation so much, I'm just very anxious and feeling sad about the loss of something I THOUGHT I had and/or maybe what I just wanted it to be.

Thanks, love.:l

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Learning our limitations is vital to our mental health,in general, as well as our sobriety.

I am a vet and during my first years in practice I made myself stressed out and unwell working day and night answering each and every call to prevent the suffering of each and every animal.

As I became more and more burnt out I became more and more ineffective due to fatigue.

One night a client rang at 1 am and wanted her cat seen immediately. She thought her cat had an abscess, a painful but not life threatening condition. I refused to get up and go to her house and she screamed at me

'" I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ANIMALS ! "

I put down the phone and wept. The next morning she didn't keep the appointment we had agreed. By 11 am I was feeling sick with worry that something more serious had occurred so I rang her

'" OH, AFTER WE SPOKE I LOOKED MORE CAREFULLY AND HE HAD A BOILED SWEET STUCK IN HIS FUR "

There was NO apology from her for her behaviour or for not cancelling her appointment, even though I would have had an entire night's sleep ruined for a piece of candy ! :H

I have learned that there is NO END to suffering animals, just as there is no end to the suffering of people.

I am still dedicated to my job, but I am NOT superwoman.

We must learn to look after ourselves first, and to pick our battles carefully.

As Byrdie says ' secure your own oxygen mask first ( sobriety) before trying to help others'

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

FROM: ICANWITHOUTACAN........My hubs texted me last night to buy beer on way home ( be doesn't think I have a problem) omg... So I did .. . Weird thing is I was embarrassed at the store ; never would have been before !!!!! I didn't drink one and tht felt great..... Sleeping better ... Enjoying my family and still happy happy happy ....like Phil on Duck Dynasty


ICAN, understandable to be embarassed. My x would ask me to buy his weekly carton of cigs and weekly supply of beer. I worked as a teacher at the time and told him I couldn't do it anymore!!!! Of course I was drinking the beer, too, but was hiding it from my employers even way back then.
-S-

I really like the rainbow avitar. Hoping it's not too confusing.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1462847 wrote: Learning our limitations is vital to our mental health,in general, as well as our sobriety.

I am a vet and during my first years in practice I made myself stressed out and unwell working day and night answering each and every call to prevent the suffering of each and every animal.

As I became more and more burnt out I became more and more ineffective due to fatigue.

One night a client rang at 1 am and wanted her cat seen immediately. She thought her cat had an abscess, a painful but not life threatening condition. I refused to get up and go to her house and she screamed at me

'" I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ANIMALS ! "

I put down the phone and wept. The next morning she didn't keep the appointment we had agreed. By 11 am I was feeling sick with worry that something more serious had occurred so I rang her

'" OH, AFTER WE SPOKE I LOOKED MORE CAREFULLY AND HE HAD A BOILED SWEET STUCK IN HIS FUR "

There was NO apology from her for her behaviour or for not cancelling her appointment, even though I would have had an entire night's sleep ruined for a piece of candy ! :H

I have learned that there is NO END to suffering animals, just as there is no end to the suffering of people.

I am still dedicated to my job, but I am NOT superwoman.

We must learn to look after ourselves first, and to pick our battles carefully.

As Byrdie says ' secure your own oxygen mask first ( sobriety) before trying to help others'

Kuya....this is kind of off the subject of alcohol. But what the heck. You are a vet! I have often wondered what your profession was. Perhaps you have posted it somewhere along the line and I missed it. No wonder you are so intuitive!
This again is so off the subject of alcohol but I just finished reading the book "The Life of PI". If you like to read and haven't already read it I highly recommend it. I have been crazy busy doing things that I used to love before I began drinking. Hence the reading the book I recommended above. I used to read all the time.....my gosh how I have missed it!
I haven't been posting a ton as I still am not feeling super hot during the round worm deworming process which I am sure you are familiar with. But I haven't fallen off of the AF living wagon either....I am on my 11th consecutive day of being AF. I have still been reading here too. I have secured my own oxygen mask....my husband has seen this and knows how serious I am, he even made a comment about my commitment to it. He has even slowed his roll as he no longer has a playmate when it comes to drinking. I am getting it Kuya, slowly but surely I am getting it. I hope that you have a wonderful Valentines day....:l

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1462860 wrote: Kuya....this is kind of off the subject of alcohol. But what the heck. You are a vet! I have often wondered what your profession was. Perhaps you have posted it somewhere along the line and I missed it. No wonder you are so intuitive!
This again is so off the subject of alcohol but I just finished reading the book "The Life of PI". If you like to read and haven't already read it I highly recommend it. I have been crazy busy doing things that I used to love before I began drinking. Hence the reading the book I recommended above. I used to read all the time.....my gosh how I have missed it!
I haven't been posting a ton as I still am not feeling super hot during the round worm deworming process which I am sure you are familiar with. But I haven't fallen off of the AF living wagon either....I am on my 11th consecutive day of being AF. I have still been reading here too. I have secured my own oxygen mask....my husband has seen this and knows how serious I am, he even made a comment about my commitment to it. He has even slowed his roll as he no longer has a playmate when it comes to drinking. I am getting it Kuya, slowly but surely I am getting it. I hope that you have a wonderful Valentines day....:l

I am overjoyed for you Red, it hasn't been easy for you and you have been brave.

Well done you :h

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1462774 wrote: Take comfort in your resolve to stay AF...instead of worrying that you will.

Byrdie, on the contrary,, I think you did a great job of getting your point across. :l She is somethin....ain't she Kradle? :h

It's Valentine's day. Two years ago today - I woke up just past midnight - after being drunk for a few days straight. My body was shaking and my heart was pounding and Those GSR brothers (guilt, shame and remorse - Byrdie's term) brought along their older brother Panic. I quietly got out of bed and went down and sat on the couch in the dark. About the time that my family got up - I was, to my surprise - still alive...and I made my way to the bathroom and threw up. I asked my husband to take our son to school because I "wasn't feeling well." That was the first day of my first attempt at quitting. I made it my 30 days that time, but the feeling that I had as I sat in our living room - feeling that finally I'd gone too far....well, that feeling is one I'd like to forget, but I also hope I never do. I never ever want to go back to that dark place that was my life - completely self inflicted....before I found this place.

There....sad, isn't it? That's what Valentine's Day means to me....or I guess, maybe it isn't so sad!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

I accidentally posted this in Roll Call this morning. I meant for it to be here in Newbies Nest.

kuya - Being a vet is a gift to so many. Thank you!! Our family has had the same vet for many years and she is wonderful. One day I was worried about my ability to be a good pet parent. Our vet emailed, "If I came back as a dog in my next life I would be ecstatic for you to be my pet parent." That was encouraging. I know that our vet (and you) see a lot of suffering. And both of you are wise to set healthy limits. Thank you for your post. ~

Good Morning All,

My husband and I have two dogs, Star and Bishop. Bishop turns four today. He is our Valentine's Day pup. Bishop has a congenital heart defect: severe Tricuspid Valve Dysplasia. Bishop's cardiologist gave him an initial prognosis of one to three years. However, Bishop is still going strong; he is attempting to defy the odds!! Bishop is a gentle, intelligent, and happy boy, and we cherish every day together. There is a restaurant across town that has a large outdoor eating area that is dog friendly. (It has heaters too, thank goodness!!) In addition to their menu for people they also have a menu for canines. Bishop's fave is the chicken and rice. We are going there this evening to celebrate Valentine's Day and Bishop's birthday.

Enjoy this fabulous AF day ~

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

"Lola, thanks again for this helpful information.

You are a gem!!" Thank you Tess. Sometimes, it feels repetitive but when a place has such a high turnover rate as the NN - I guess we have to keep repeating things. There is just so damn much great information here. Kuya's explanations of why things happen the way they do are just so helpful to me, too.

Sometimes even now, I blame PAWS. I guess it could be still from what I read - but more realistically, I'm just being bitchy...:H

and Kradle : ":h Lola " Thank you too. What an awesome feeling to know that others are helped by your efforts. :l

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1462869 wrote:

...after being drunk for a few days straight. My body was shaking and my heart was pounding and Those GSR brothers (guilt, shame and remorse - Byrdie's term) brought along their older brother Panic. I quietly got out of bed and went down and sat on the couch in the dark. About the time that my family got up - I was, to my surprise - still alive...and I made my way to the bathroom and threw up...

Lola - thanks for the miserable reminder. I honestly mean that. As I say, getting and staying sober is rough. The only thing more difficult is being a drunk. Bless you for staying with us today in Newbies Nest. ~