Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

There's a joke in there lurking...about Kuya the Vet, discussing PAWS!! Where's RC when we need him??

Thanks,Kradle and Lola for the kind words. Nobody describes the phases of this process like you do! We all have our strengths (and certainly our weaknesses) but I think part of the power of this nest is our sheer numbers. With our membership here, if somebody falls, we all scamper to pick them back up...we see that if 'so and so' is doing, I can do it, too! We see that when we fall, we get back up and don't wallow in self pity! We are supported....and that is a wonderful thing in this lonely disease.

We have a great group here...strength in numbers! Byrdie

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1462874 wrote: I accidentally posted this in Roll Call this morning. I meant for it to be here in Newbies Nest.

kuya - Being a vet is a gift to so many. Thank you!! Our family has had the same vet for many years and she is wonderful. One day I was worried about my ability to be a good pet parent. Our vet emailed, "If I came back as a dog in my next life I would be ecstatic for you to be my pet parent." That was encouraging. I know that our vet (and you) see a lot of suffering. And both of you are wise to set healthy limits. Thank you for your post. ~

Good Morning All,

My husband and I have two dogs, Star and Bishop. Bishop turns four today. He is our Valentine's Day pup. Bishop has a congenital heart defect: severe Tricuspid Valve Dysplasia. Bishop's cardiologist gave him an initial prognosis of one to three years. However, Bishop is still going strong; he is attempting to defy the odds!! Bishop is a gentle, intelligent, and happy boy, and we cherish every day together. There is a restaurant across town that has a large outdoor eating area that is dog friendly. (It has heaters too, thank goodness!!) In addition to their menu for people they also have a menu for canines. Bishop's fave is the chicken and rice. We are going there this evening to celebrate Valentine's Day and Bishop's birthday.

Enjoy this fabulous AF day ~

Tess, I made chicken and rice for my girls. They love people food but I usually won't give then any. Today is a special day so they get a special meal. We have a few restaurants that are pet friendly but none that have food for them too! I'm taking them to our special dogie bakery to get them special candy. It's so much fun being a sober pet parent...everyday is a special day to me now!!!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, you are exactly right and that is something I am really working on being successful at understanding and implementing. Taking on the weight and problems of others has frequently caused me great stress and led me to AL as symptom relief instead of healing and finding the real problem and a real solution. Some call it being selfish, but it's really about taking the responsibility for what is truly mine...responsibility for me. This particular issue has caused me a lot of grief and stress in my life, but it's never too late to change. I posted this quote a week or so ago:

"In my group, I saw people who felt responsible for the entire world, but they refused to take responsibility for leading and living their own lives."

I never saw it as taking responsibility for my own life; I saw it as being a good person caring for others. Showing them love through sacrifices I made for them, but I'm realizing I wasn't living my life while I was busy making sure that those I loved were protected and I tried to shelter them from pain by taking it on myself. It was so very hard for me to watch anyone I loved feel pain. I thought selfish was a bad word, but it's really about taking care of ourselves. We are our primary responsibility, no? I am a work in progress learning and implementing this lesson. After living 50 years the other way, it's taking solitude, time and some pain to start caring for me and learning to say no to others. It's sounds so logical and easy and yet, it's not natural to me. Working at it though, and trying to silence the voices that usher in guilt for doing it...for looking out for me and letting others take responsibility for their own actions and choices. This may be the single biggest lesson I take from this present journey.


Your quote:

'" I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ANIMALS ! "

WARNING! MANIPULATION IN PROGRESS!!! How many times do you see this manipulation tactic used by people in an effort to prompt guilt so they get what they want?

I won't drink, but I can't say that this afternoon is easy. As soon as I finished posting the above temptation, my angel came along and she was followed by my gf who called as she was picking up wine at the store and told me to do the same. I think AL has connections in hell and he calls up his helpers to push you harder. Time to go get my sword...rat bast....

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hippyman;1462881 wrote: Tess, I made chicken and rice for my girls. They love people food but I usually won't give then any. Today is a special day so they get a special meal. We have a few restaurants that are pet friendly but none that have food for them too! I'm taking them to our special dogie bakery to get them special candy. It's so much fun being a sober pet parent...everyday is a special day to me now!!!

Hi Happy Hippy - You may have heard that I'm skipping school today... Not proud of it, but I suppose worse things have happened. Anyway, I've stopped crying, thank goodness!!

Our "kids" don't usually get people food either. They are both on "customized" super-dooper diets that keep them as healthy as possible. The diets are a tad expensive (but much less expensive than the gallons of beer per day that I used to consume...)

I can picture you and your girls in the bakery. Too cute!! :threesome:

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

There's a joke in there lurking...about Kuya the Vet, discussing PAWS!! Where's RC when we need him??

I caught that, Byrdie. My funny bone is in the repair shop at the moment, so I left it dangling...

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1462880 wrote: ...We are supported....and that is a wonderful thing in this lonely disease... Byrdie

Well said!! :hug:

[Persephone1]

Newbies Nest

Hiya NN family & :welcome:New Family Members,

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :heart:
Whether we have someone to 'share' it with or not, we can slather ourselves in goodness, treat ourselves to an amazing dinner, bubble bath, flowers (whateva makes you happy!)...Cheers to each and every one of you, MWAH!:kissyface:

I have been MIA for a wee bit, but here with y'alls in spirit! I haven't been hittin' the bottle, just takin' care of business, all good things! ALL of your posts are wonderful and encouraging and chock full 'o incredible info. This place IS a miraculous gift! THANK YOU FROM THE DEPTHS of my heart!

A bit of good news, I may have landed myself a trip to Kauai, all expenses paid :yay:, with my daughter inkele: who is MY ALL TIME FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! :cheering: Kauai is one of may FAVORITE places, ever! Pretty GD cool V-day gift, no?

Anyway sending bucket fulls of love to each of you. Hope you're having a day filled (at least) with self love, you deserve it!

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

Detox Night 2, Can I sleep??

The Night is coming! Will I sleep?? Sweat toxic oil out in buckets all day! I can see expressing yourself can really help.. Well I got out of bed long enough to eat one salad and take a shower. My nervous system is in such distress that it felt like my skin was burning in the shower! It is defiantly tired of me and wants to go on a vacation alone! Still did not get much sleep.. But I have done this many times! I know the drill! Got some water and Magnesium, Got aspirin to help slow down the rapid heart rate, got 2 forms of liver cleanser to clean my liver, also got simple carbon tabs to soak up the access toxins in my intestines etc. But none of this works fast! Always takes me a week to feel strong again.. Yeah this cycle sucks! 2 months sober/feel strong and confident/1 week in a haze started by (just a few beers)/wake up in the Philippines or some other country and need to go through detox ALL OVER AGAIN! Every time I say THATS IT! Had enough of this Sh*t! But never talked about it before.. So I think this will really help. I think only drunks could be total strangers that support each other.. thats one good thing! Despite feeling like I'm getting bikini wax while walking on broken glass (and toss in some swarms bees while my a** is dipped in honey).. I'm usually an upbeat person that fights to stay upbeat! I see this expression and seeking support can be a HUGE help (not in getting sober) but in STAYING SOBER!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Alright, I opted for one of my snacks I purchased to get free of junk food. I don't know if anyone here likes to eat dates, but I put a half of walnut inside a date and love it as a healthier snack option when I have a sweet tooth or craving. My dad used to love them like this at Christmas time rolled in sugar. I left out the sugar. lol I'd say that option was much better than giving in to a moment of temptation/urge.

Day 21 will remind me I am still under fire. Just when you start to get real comfortable...

To all a good night or day.

Slay

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Slay,
Al definately has connections in Hell. The Creep. Thankfully there is a way out.
-S-

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Slay....I love dates, too...(but don't over do! I think they have a side effect!) :flush:

DDrifter...talking it out is EVERYTHING! I need to go back and find Kuya's post on that....on each of our profile pages, it says how many posts you have, and your average per day. She found that folks who posted more than once a day had a much higher success rate than those who didn't. It was amazing. I think that being part of a group of like minded people (drunks, ouch!) ((but true)) is essential in seeing the patterns of what we are doing. There are always people ahead of us and behind us here, so we have the power to see the past, present and FUTURE...IF WE POST! Kuya also supports the theory that just the act of writing it out reinforces it in our minds...Getting sober is one thing...STAYING sober is another, and we can help with BOTH. So glad you are here! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Slaythefear;1462905 wrote: Alright, I opted for one of my snacks I purchased to get free of junk food. I don't know if anyone here likes to eat dates, but I put a half of walnut inside a date and love it as a healthier snack option when I have a sweet tooth or craving.

Slay

Add some cream cheese or soft goat cheese and then you'll really be in business, Slay! The extra fat and protein are #1 delicious and # 2 will satisfy you longer. YUM!!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

LOL, Byrdlady. On that thought, my other snack is prunes. ROTFL!!!! Will that require two or three of that emoticon?

Laststraw...I've had two temptation in this 21 day cycle that were followed by calls from people I haven't heard from in a while. I find the timing awfully strange. Hmmm...

No sugar...ooh...cream cheese sounds wonderful. I never thought of that. I've taken a piece of beef in a jar or salami with green olives and cream cheese before. YUM! Alright, I'm hungry.

You all have a safe rest of the day or night. I'm logging off and heading for the fridge. :thanks:

[JeffyJeff]

Newbies Nest

DimensionDrifter;1462904 wrote: The Night is coming! Will I sleep?? Sweat toxic oil out in buckets all day! I can see expressing yourself can really help.. Well I got out of bed long enough to eat one salad and take a shower. My nervous system is in such distress that it felt like my skin was burning in the shower! It is defiantly tired of me and wants to go on a vacation alone! Still did not get much sleep.. But I have done this many times! I know the drill! Got some water and Magnesium, Got aspirin to help slow down the rapid heart rate, got 2 forms of liver cleanser to clean my liver, also got simple carbon tabs to soak up the access toxins in my intestines etc. But none of this works fast! Always takes me a week to feel strong again.. Yeah this cycle sucks! 2 months sober/feel strong and confident/1 week in a haze started by (just a few beers)/wake up in the Philippines or some other country and need to go through detox ALL OVER AGAIN! Every time I say THATS IT! Had enough of this Sh*t! But never talked about it before.. So I think this will really help. I think only drunks could be total strangers that support each other.. thats one good thing! Despite feeling like I'm getting bikini wax while walking on broken glass (and toss in some swarms bees while my a** is dipped in honey).. I'm usually an upbeat person that fights to stay upbeat! I see this expression and seeking support can be a HUGE help (not in getting sober) but in STAYING SOBER!

DD
Hang in there. It will get better

I am on day 8 and the withdrawals are about gone. Just came home to some problems and was considering a drink. How ridiculous is that? Thought I would come here first. Your story emphasized what I just went through and now I feel strong. This site helps

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters! I was browsing the Tool Box today and ran across this...it struck me, and is short and sweet, but powerful. Thought you might enjoy...I need to go see who I poached this from, to give proper credits! Here it is....

JUNKIE THINKING

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I?ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

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