Newbies Nest

[whatmesober]

Newbies Nest

Just a suggestion folks. You're dealing with newcomers here, and more newcomers are likely to read the posts. I'd think about eliminating the abbreviations and jargon. I've been clean and sober for 23 years, and am a professional in the field, and still I have to stop and think about them sometimes.

Just sayin'.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello & welcome whatmesober!
We were all newcomers at one time or another - you get used to the jargon pretty quickly
Why have you joined the MWO community? Are you looking for a resource for your clients?
I would steer them to the MWO book (downloadable from the Health store here) & the Tool box which is a collection of great ideas to help one get sober & rebuild lives

Byrdie, was that post one of Mario's?

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Byrd - that is a neato list. It really hits home for me.

Whatmesober, I caught on the the jargon in about 10 posts and didn't feel left out of the loop or anything.

I had several moments today thinking about AL and so I would come on this site and by the time I read some posts or commented the AL thoughts had left the house. I feel like this is a constant support group and don't even have to go anywhere, spend gas $$, or put on my shoes for loving support.
-S-

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

REM Better than Gold to me!

JeffyJeff;1462936 wrote: DD
Hang in there. It will get better

I am on day 8 and the withdrawals are about gone. Just came home to some problems and was considering a drink. How ridiculous is that? Thought I would come here first. Your story emphasized what I just went through and now I feel strong. This site helps

Thanks Jeff... Glad something I posted helped during this wretched suffering! I'm hanging on.. but the night is slow, and I'm tired! I might get some sleep soon, my nerves have calmed down a bit.. One night of REM sleep! Better than Gold!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hey all; just a quick check-in at the end of day 2. Feel so much better.
Had to give my dad the news that the treatment he expected to get next week for his liver cancer has been stopped. I knew last week and it has been so stressful carrying this - he was devestated yesterday. I felt an enormous relief once I told him which I felt so guilty about....but he had to know as he was asking questions.
Today, however, after getting my first peaceful nights sleep in a long time, I went to see my dad. He too had a good, peaceful night and was raring to go, out in the garden at 8am and once I done his injection, he, my mum and I headed out for the day shopping. What a turnaround! He was in great form. Of course he is still not well and slow but he is a trooper! We must have been subconsciously fearing the treatment because of the awful side effects and whether he would even survive it - I don't know.
But today was good and we will take each day as it comes and make the most of it. I feel happy, which is a strange thing to say in such a situation. Have no desire to drink and with Lent now here, it helps my resolve. Getting up at 6.30, and intend to get back to regular exercise very soon.
I did say I would post more often and mean to but I am honestly not getting to sit down until very late every night after spending every day with dads doctor phone calls, visits, and taking him out - that does take priority, but I will put sobriety right there with it!
Night all and hope your tomorrow is happy and peaceful! You are worth it and deserve it!

[halo]

Newbies Nest

There are some great supportive posts .

One question about the tool box post in reference to some individuals being social drinkers, and realizing your not one. What seperates a social drinker from one who isn't? Do social drinkers ever feel guilt, remorse and shame? Has anyone here ever been able to moderately drink or become a social drinker after a period of abstinence..Or does the fact remain that some of us should never ever drink... Just some questions from a newbie.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Whatmesober, thank you for the observation. When new folks fly in, we usually suggest reading back a couple weeks to get to 'know' us...our stories and our 'jargon'. So maybe that will help you. Welcome!

Daisy, so glad you are on board. You just never know how people are going to react...my heart goes out to you in this difficult situation. Stay strong and sober...drinking won't help a thing.

Tuck in safely everyone! You will never regret being sober! Byrdie

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

halo;1462966 wrote: There are some great supportive posts .

One question about the tool box post in reference to some individuals being social drinkers, and realizing your not one. What seperates a social drinker from one who isn't? Do social drinkers ever feel guilt, remorse and shame? Has anyone here ever been able to moderately drink or become a social drinker after a period of abstinence..Or does the fact remain that some of us should never ever drink... Just some questions from a newbie.

Hi Halo :hallo:

I'm sure even the most moderate of social drinkers has a story or two about having one too many and feels some remorse and shame. There are some here who moderate and there is a forum to discuss the issues related to that. But I think anyone in this forum would tell you that you need to have substantial AF time before you even contemplate whether or not you can moderate. Don't underestimate this. Until you have that time under your belt see Byrdie's Junkie List.

And yes, there are definitely some of us who will never be able to moderate and need to remain alcohol free.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Halo....oh boy....THAT is a great question.

I'll answer you this way.....give yourself 30 days AF....if you sail thru that perioud of time and have some difficulty at first, but then the days pass and you don't give AL a second thought? You might be one of the lucky ones! If, however, you agonize as the hours and minutes pass, crave so badly that you'd suck the AL out of your windshield wiper bottle, hear voices in your head telling you 'do it, do it', if you are so iritable you don't even recognize you....if you get to the end of your 30 days and feel like if you can just drink again life will be restored to its full locked and upright position....you might be one of us. I'm afraid for most of us, by the time we seek out a sight for problem drinking, it's already got us. I believe the relationship you have with AL is as good as it's ever going to get. I say, as good, because it can surely get worse. Most of us have tried to moderate and found that we couldn't. If you really ask yourself the hard questions...didn't you try to moderate BEFORE you got here?

This is my opinion....but 'normal/social' drinkers, don't track how much they drink. They don't give it a thought. They don't join websites....
Hope I'm not being a downer.... but the sooner you can accept what has happened the sooner you can move on from it. It's the ones like me who can't admit it and keep denying it that have the longest recoveries (again, my opinion).

ALK disease is progressive....it doesn't get better by itself. But here is the good news. Life without AL is BETTER! Being sober is normal...being bombed is not. It is so good to get back to normal and get off this hampster wheel of a life. Today I have hope and optimism for the future... I feel on top of my game. No AL in sight, either. Not one, not ever. But that's just me. Byrdie

[JeffyJeff]

Newbies Nest

Great posts Bryd. Thank you

[halo]

Newbies Nest

....if you get to the end of your 30 days and feel like if you can just drink again life will be restored to its full locked and upright position....you might be one of us. I'm afraid for most of us, by the time we seek out a sight for problem drinking, it's already got us.
This is my opinion....but 'normal/social' drinkers, don't track how much they drink. They don't give it a thought. They don't join websites....

But here is the good news. Life without AL is BETTER! Being sober is normal...being bombed is not.

Byrdie thanks for the words of wisdom, the windshield wiper comment rang soooo true Some times I would say I don't care if it's lighter fluid I'll take it, I have gone 30 days without drinking before and think everything is going to be okay ... I figure I have it beat, then get on the bandwagon, a couple of nights just a couple of drinks, no problem, I can stop and then BOOM, a night out that ends in a black out, with a hangover so bad no amount of money can get me to function like a normal human being, just when I thought I had everything under control and could be a "social drinker", an episode that spirals my life out of control..
I'm embarrassed,and scared, I sink into depression episodes that lasts days if not weeks. I vow to never have another drink and then I'm good for awhile and then the cycle starts again...

If I don't stop the cycle I am going to lose it all, I just don't know if I'm doing it for others or for myself..and that is something that everone here has already figured out I guess..
Now I just hope I can

[halo]

Newbies Nest

:thanks:Thanks for the advice, the more I read the various posts the more I am relating to the stories, I am not sure what this means but all I know that it feels helpful to not feel alone

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie thanks for the words of wisdom, the windshield wiper comment rang soooo true Some times I would say I don't care if it's lighter fluid I'll take it, I have gone 30 days without drinking before and think everything is going to be okay ... I figure I have it beat, then get on the bandwagon, a couple of nights just a couple of drinks, no problem, I can stop and then BOOM, a night out that ends in a black out, with a hangover so bad no amount of money can get me to function like a normal human being, just when I thought I had everything under control and could be a "social drinker", an episode that spirals my life out of control..
I'm embarrassed,and scared, I sink into depression episodes that lasts days if not weeks. I vow to never have another drink and then I'm good for awhile and then the cycle starts again...

If I don't stop the cycle I am going to lose it all, I just don't know if I'm doing it for others or for myself..and that is something that everone here has already figured out I guess..
Now I just hope I can[/QUOTE]

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

halo, only you can decide what is truly best for you
I just urge you to clear out all the BS thinking before you make any decisions. Be totally honest with yourself - possibly for the first time ever. That's what I did as I approached my 30 AF day mark. That's when I knew that I just had to remain abstinent, I'm an all or nothing type of person

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

Once again I don't really know what is going on since I have been busy and got behind on all of your post.
Will try and get caught up so I know how all of you are doing.

Day 10 is coming to a close and all goes well. Been tempted a couple of times but temptation is different than a craving.

I hope you are all doing well. I know there are a few of us that are on the same AF day.

Happy V day everyone. Gotta run.