Newbies Nest

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Hey folks -- I've been in a car all day and haven't had time to catch up, but just wanted to say "Hi" to all, and to anyone who didn't get a Happy Valentines Day hug, card, kiss, etc., please know you're cared about and accept this BIG HUG from me! :l That especially goes for a few of you who I know are struggling right now not just with being newly AF, but also suffering from the emotional pain over the loss of what-used-to-be with your partner or loved one.

Even though I don't post a ton, I've become accustomed to reading this thread a few times a day, and realized today when I couldn't how habitual this has become for me - a new habit, but a good one. Whether you are brand new, a week or 2 in or years in living AF, you are all close to my heart. :h

Elliesmom
Day 13 - two weeks tomorrow. Holy crap, I can hardly believe it.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Elliesmum......I am so very proud of and for you. You have done so well.

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Happy Valentines day everyone, hope all is well, another busy day. I will try and catch up
Tomorrow. Thinking about y'all. Day 11 went well another counseling session feeling great
Loving this AF life! Got to get some sleep, Take care nesters! j:h

[Tx Ellen]

Newbies Nest

Itmismtime

I have been drinking heavily for most of 25'years since I got divorced. It is time to quit. I don't need to drink plus I have applied for social security disability formbipolarmdisorder and don't need to be spending the money.

I have been drinking 1,5 bottles of wine nightly. Tomorrow I am going to cut it in half and then quit.

I have tried before but it is time to get it right.

[s1179]

Newbies Nest

Elliesmom;1463027 wrote: Hey folks -- I've been in a car all day and haven't had time to catch up, but just wanted to say "Hi" to all, and to anyone who didn't get a Happy Valentines Day hug, card, kiss, etc., please know you're cared about and accept this BIG HUG from me! :l That especially goes for a few of you who I know are struggling right now not just with being newly AF, but also suffering from the emotional pain over the loss of what-used-to-be with your partner or loved one.

Even though I don't post a ton, I've become accustomed to reading this thread a few times a day, and realized today when I couldn't how habitual this has become for me - a new habit, but a good one. Whether you are brand new, a week or 2 in or years in living AF, you are all close to my heart. :h

Elliesmom
Day 13 - two weeks tomorrow. Holy crap, I can hardly believe it.

I feel the same...I don't post alot and am new to this but just reading all these positive posts is becoming a habit for me too.
I suppose it's like a different version of facebook......
I can really say that it's helping me alot...just knowing that other people have the same problems as you.....Some people love eating chocolate and can eat bars at a time...I personally could keep the stuff in the fridge for months without even bothering....But if it was a bottle on wine it would keep talking to me!!!!!
So happy to have found this place and it will now become my daily fix...xxx
Keep up the good work folks.....we can do it...we will do it xxxxx:thanks:

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Yesterday, 06:55 PM

Byrdlady
Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,358
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

Hey Nesters! I was browsing the Tool Box today and ran across this...it struck me, and is short and sweet, but powerful. Thought you might enjoy...I need to go see who I poached this from, to give proper credits! Here it is....

JUNKIE THINKING

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I’ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I’m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don’t care about all the people I’ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.


Byrd: OMG, I need this so much!! Going to VT for weekend skiing with heavy drinking friends. I have told them I will not be drinking and my husband will be supportive, but this list will be read ad nauseum by me all weekend......

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.


This one if VERY POWERFUL for me.....:thanks:

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hi All, Happy Friday! Day 11 of accountability for me. I'm one day away from my next goal of 12 days.

I want to thank Lolab for her posts yesterday regarding PAWS. What I am finding as strange is that the symptoms of PAWS are exactly what I'm experiencing right now, and I'm only 11 days AF. I've never been so tired in my life, my moods are changing constantly, I have a headache every day (even so I'm very well hydrated), and my focus and concentration is nil. I should be working right now but I'm finding it very hard to concentrate on any task. It's good to know that this is just a symptom of the body getting rid of AL but that bad part about that is how long these symptoms might hang around. Not sure if what I'm experiencing is actually PAWS but something is definitely "off" with me. I'm not very good with patience so I guess I need to work on that rather than worry about how I feel all the time.

This morning was rough. Today was the first time that I experienced an AL craving early in the morning. Now, this type of craving used to happen to me after a night of binge drinking, so it is weird that I felt this way after an AF evening. I did my best to keep busy with work, tending to a fire in the fireplace, assisting my brother-in-law with his wedding invitations... etc. I'm lucky that the craving passed but not I'm worried about this evening and tomorrow. I will be alone this weekend until my flight to the USA on Sunday morning. Being alone in the house is usually my cue to drink a bottle of wine. I know I should not be obsessing about it... but I'm just being honest about how I feel right now. I do have a "plan" for this evening, I just hope that I can stick to it. I know I have the strength. I know it. Geez... I wish this stupid headache would go away.

I'm also still obsessing about next week. I should be worried about the amount of work that needs to get done while I am in Florida next week, but instead I'm worried about freakin' drinking in the evenings. How sick is that? This is not normal behavior. Argh, I hate these mood swings!

Thank you for listening to me vent. Just feeling stressed at the moment. Thank you all for your posts and for being there for me and all of us. Here's to hoping this moment will pass and this day will get better.

Take care all!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

The sun is up but it's still below freezing here

Welcome back Tx Ellen!
Get your plan together & stick around. We will help you all we can

MS, a little bit of fear won't kill you - let it keep you on your toes!
When I quit a made a solemn vow to never ever buy another drop of AL - that has helped me stay true to my quit. If there is any AL around the house, dump it or give it away so you are not tempted. You are doing great, there's no reason to mess up now. You want to keep moving forward. Have you tried meditation or relaxation techniques to help with the headache? Sounds like tension could be the cause of the headaches at this point! Have a safe trip Sunday!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Also remember MS, that while those symptoms can come and go for quite some time, they do appear less and less.

Slay I forgot to answer your kale question. There are tiny green specks in the smoothie, but nothing I really have to chew...Also, I get extra and put it right in the freezer. It works great for smoothies that way. Do you use a straw for your smoothies? Maybe drinking through a straw helps it go down without noticing the little chunks?

More snow warnings for us for this weekend....what a winter!

Jennie, you do lots of fun stuff.....Once you are on auto pilot with sobriety, just think how much better it'll be!

Hi to everybody! Welcome back to Tx Ellen, I remember you...settle back in - nice to see you.

lola

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Jenni, the part of the quote in bold is awesome, and really captures the contradiction so well. Sure there is a little bit of initial discomfort, but once you get just a little bit of perspective on things with some AF time, it seems pretty ridiculous. Every battle we win makes us that much stronger. I hope your plan is strong and includes enjoying yourself as much as you can this weekend.

Hi Daisy, good to hear from you. I'm sorry you are going through what you are going through. I am glad you are with us though.

Tx Ellen, welcome! It is good to have you here. This place really does work if you are willing to put in some effort.

Kuya posted something a little bit ago that I wish I had written. The gist of it was that she spent so much time drinking and fearing the quitting process. When the time came to quit, she realized that it was only about a week or so of discomfort. (Sorry if I butchered that, Kuya, much admiration for writing it). When you push through that and come out the other side, it is different. AF life is the relief that we are all after when we come here. Fin posted that AF is how he was meant to be. We just might have to work a bit to get there, right? My last favorite quote that I'll rip off right now is Lavande's "just struggle,". I love that one. Let it roll around in your head a bit if you are struggling. Thanks to all for posting here.

Have a great AF day friends.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Happy Friday NESTERS! I am once again impressed with all the great advise and words of wisdom that come from the fab people here in the nest. Byrdie you are wonderful! This is the BEST PLACE that I know of to get sober and stay sober. YOU GUYS ARE A GIFT FROM GOD!!! :wings: It's another weekend and that means another Folk Festival at a local State park. I LOVE LIVING History! This week I have a new "TOY" to entertain the kids. It's a huge arm puppet of a pony. I thought I'd have a name the Pony contest and draw a name out of the basket. Of course now I must think of a prize to give the winner? When I think about what my drinking friends are doing this weekend and what I'm doing this weekend...I'd MUCH rather be ME!!! Stay safe. Stay sober and have FUN!!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Lavande and Lolab. I'm just freaking myself out today. Sometimes I get these anxiety attacks and freak out about everything. It comes and goes. But I will try to relax and be patient and focus on taking it one day at a time.

Ok, so the plan for today is... to not leave the house! I have plenty of firewood (it's snowing like crazy here) and food, so there is no reason for me to go to the grocery store. That way I can avoid all the AL in the drinks section AND at the checkout counter. We have a few bottles of "nice" wine in our house but for some reason I can stay away from that. I only binge on the cheap stuff. Weird how our minds work sometimes. And I def don't any Jack. Can't be trusted with any Jack or scotch. So... if I stay home and avoid the store today and tomorrow, all will be good.

Tonight I will have a salad with romaine and arugula greens, along with my spicy honey grilled chicken. My beverage tonight will be ginger tea with lemon. I will use tonight to catch up on work and watch movies with my pup.

Tomorrow... gym in the morning, house cleaning, packing for my trip next week. Tomorrow evening I do need to attend a friend's birthday party so that will be my first challenge on Day 12. Luckily her family has all sorts of drinkers (AL and non-AL) so if I stick to water I won't stick out. I just have to avoid her father because he knows me as his "schnapps" friend (oh God, because I can put away shots of schnapps like it's no body's business) so if I leave the party soon enough I will avoid the schnapps bottle coming out.

I think I will try meditation. I'm not sure how to, so if anyone has any suggestions? Are there any good apps or CDs that I could take with me on my trip next week!

I love you guys! Thank you for the support!!!

:thanks::l

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters! It's a new day and yesterday is gone...I'll add that to my grateful list and be aware of falling back into a certain place that triggers a desire to escape. The day has been slayed and yayed! Alright, that's my rhyme for you. :what?: LOL!

Ellie...thank you for the Valentine wish. I could feel that from your warm heart. You're doing great. An AF day is a good Valentines day present to ourselves.

Lolab...thanks for the response. I like the freezer idea. It will last longer and add cold to the smoothie. Maybe it will break up better being frozen as well. I'll try that. No, I don't use a straw. I'm thinking the more broken down it is, the easier it is to absorb the nutrients. I probably need a more powerful blender, but I'll try some other tricks today and put it in the freezer for tomorrow. :thanks:

Jenn...I like the point of Bryd's post you honed in on. When we let something go that we are used to because it isn't right for us or causes us harm, we need to focus on why we let it go and not on missing it. A good point. Get yourself mentally prepared and focus on how good it feels not to have the negative that will come out of the weekend. It's a new life and you are going to live it well.

Thanks for all the Valentine wishes. Welcome to the newbies. If you really want to quit, this forum can provide you with a common bond, support and information to tackle your goal. Feeling healthy is much better than feeling ill.

Everyone have a great day or night wherever you are.

Love,

Slay

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Tx Ellen;1463048 wrote: I have been drinking heavily for most of 25'years since I got divorced. It is time to quit. I don't need to drink plus I have applied for social security disability formbipolarmdisorder and don't need to be spending the money.

I have been drinking 1,5 bottles of wine nightly. Tomorrow I am going to cut it in half and then quit.

I have tried before but it is time to get it right.

TX, I have hope that you will find much love and support here on the nest.
-S-